*Noah*When I wake up, the sun hasn’t even fully risen yet and there’s a beautiful blonde still sleeping in my arms. Jane Thomas. She looks so content, with her hair falling over her face and her chest gently rising and falling with each breath. For a second, I just stay frozen, watching her long eyelashes flutter slightly as she sleeps, memorizing the shape of her full lips and remembering what they felt like against mine. Something stirs in my chest and I know that if I don’t get up and move soon, that feeling will awaken something else and I’ll end up missing practice completely. Careful not to wake her up, I gently pry my arm out from under her head and let her rest on a pillow. It’s colder in the morning, so I pull up my covers until her bare shoulders are covered. I give her one last look over, appreciating the way her curves look wrapped up in my sheets before I make my way to the shower. As I wash up, I mentally go over the events of the night before, try
*Jane*Noah’s sudden change in mood took me by surprise. I tried hard not to take it personally, not when I knew that it most likely had nothing to do with me. And it wasn’t like he’d been overtly rude, just…distant. Colder than he’d been this morning. Still, I hate the sudden flip. “Don’t worry about it too much. Athletes tend to be very emotionally volatile when it comes to their sport,” Rachel says knowledgeably. “I can guarantee you that he’ll come crawling back to apologize for brushing you off once he realizes what he’s done.”It took a solid ten minutes of in-depth information poaching of my last conversation with Noah before Rachel ascertained that what he did wasn’t worthy of a red flag. Once she was sure of that, she tried to get me to relax and see that it wasn’t as bad as I thought at first. I knew even before her advice that it must’ve been related to the practice session he had. Granted, I still don’t know much about baseball. Noah’s thorough explanation
*Jane*I’ll be the first one to admit, yet again, that I’ve never been much of a sports fan. I didn’t really play anything in school or grow up with siblings or friends who were super into it, and outside of Rachel’s track and field days, I’ve never really had a reason to sit in the stands and scream my lungs out in support of a team. So, I’m completely unprepared for the atmosphere that permeates the watching crowd as the baseball game goes underway. There’s a buzz that runs like a thread through every person sitting in the bleachers, connecting us with the bated breath of expectation. Some people have their faces painted, and others are clad in the Billmore Bulldogs’ colors and memorabilia. But there’s an undeniable electricity as the game goes underway and we all wait with growing impatience to see what the outcome will be. I’m fascinated by the athleticism involved as every inning stretches on. And the focus, the dedication, the strength, the competitiveness … I
*Jane*The last place I was expecting to be taken to was the baseball field. But as we sit in his car, Noah looks at me with a mix of excitement and curiosity. We get out, and a chill runs through me that has little to do with temperature. The night air is pleasantly cool, and with the lights turned off, the sky is much clearer, proudly showing off its gorgeous canopy of stars. I look at the stands I was sitting in mere hours ago, and even though the stadium is so quiet, I can hear the blood pounding in my ears, the phantom presence of the crowds that occupied the space before makes what we’re doing feel so much more lewd.“Have you ever done anything outside?” Noah asks, his voice mischievous as he moves around to the back of the car. I move to join him. “Of course not,” I reply, whispering even though I’m pretty sure we’re the only people around. He retrieves a blanket from the trunk, then holds out his arm for me to take. “How classy of you,” I add, half joking as
*Noah*I feel like I’m on top of the world. Last night’s victory came second only to celebrating it with Jane. For the first time in a long time, I feel like I can take on anything, like everything is possible and I’m finally able to enjoy my accomplishments. Everyone on campus is still talking about the game, and next to actually playing, this is my favorite part—the post-game hype that will linger for days after. When I pull up to practice, I’m actually looking forward to going through the drills and bonding with the guys over our win. After all the pressure we’ve been under in the weeks leading up to it, it’ll be nice to just be able to relax a bit Plus, I figure that with those great results, Coach won’t be able to find any ammo to shoot us down with today. But the second I step foot on the field, I can already tell that I was wrong. Oli’s there already, and when he sees me, he gives a look that I know means something bad is going on. Coach Parker has his
*Jane*Not again. This is not happening again. The first time was a forgivable offense, but I hate how this feels like it’s becoming a habit. The second Noah walks away from me, I give myself a few seconds to feel hurt before I turn on my heel and leave. I remember his words from the night before. That apology rings empty now in the face of what he just said. I get pressure and stress, but I refuse to just stand there and bear the brunt of his issues. My phone buzzes and I see a message from Rachel.Rach: Hey hey. Class is boring, need some entertainment. How’re things with you and Noah?Me: Not great. Same as last time. Bad practice session and I get blown off. I don’t know how much more of this I’m willing to take.When the little bubbles indicating she’s texting begin to go off, I know that there’s a wall of text incoming. And what a paragraph it is. Rachel’s response is replete with colorful language and very creative descriptors that actually ma
*Jane*We pull into the parking garage of Noah’s apartment building at what I don’t doubt is an illegal speed, but I don’t really care too much. He barely has a chance to unclip the seatbelt before I’ve moved across the console and crawled onto his lap. When we kiss this time, I’m the one leading it and Noah gives a surprised moan from the back of his throat, but I don’t sense any reluctance on his part. None at all.He moves to open the door, presumably to get out so we can move into the apartment, but I remove his hand from the handle and place it on my ass, which he immediately grips. My back is pressing into the steering wheel, but I barely register it, not when I can feel his dick already getting hard against my thigh. Knowing that he’s already so turned on for me only feeds into my hunger and I know that I want him now. With a bite to his bottom lip, I pull away and he moves after me only for me to stop him with a hand to his chest as I shove him back against the dr
*Jane*One week in and things are already so much harder than I thought they’d be. When Noah first told me about the trip, I thought that the initial sweep of heartache I felt would disappear soon enough. I mean, yeah, I love him. But that didn’t mean that I had to devolve into the typical, corny, sad not-quite girlfriend mooning over the guy while he’s away. But as time wore on, I found myself constantly distracted by thinking about Noah. He kept his word—he texts me every day. We even Facetime whenever he’s free to do so, but things just aren’t the same. I can’t put my finger on what exactly shifted, but the difference between being together in person and communicating over a screen is noticeable. It’s not that things are ever really super awkward between us. We still have banter. But there’s the strain I can see these games and practices are having on him that he refuses to address. It shows on his face, the sleepless nights that have caused the skin under his eye
*Jane*I knew that Noah was going to be picked. There was never a doubt in my mind, even if I could tell that he was beginning to question. But when the announcer called out his name, inviting him onto the stage, I couldn’t contain my happiness and excitement. I watched as Noah walked up, and received the Yankees hat. I watched as he shook hands with who I knew were very important people. I watched as he stood for photos and I’m watching now as he speaks to the press, all vying for information on this new rising star and his plans for the future. It fills me with such a feeling of pride and contentment, watching all of this. And I truly am so happy for him. But …There’s a small, nagging part of my brain that can’t help but ask the question … What now?What truly is next for Noah and me?If he joins the Yankees, that means he has to move. The whole long-distance thing is something I always thought would never work. But then again, I never planned on falling in l
*Noah*One whole month has passed since we beat Ole Miss and I still can’t quite wrap my head around what that means. It’s been an absolute whirlwind since then, with things never really slowing, but Jane has been there for the whole ride. That’s what made the whole buildup so much easier and the celebration that much sweeter. Ever since the night I opened up to her, things have only gotten better. She’s the first person I’ve felt secure enough to be vulnerable to, and I trust her fully to guard that. It’s difficult to imagine a life before or after her, it feels like she’s always been here. And she’s the one who’s there when the invitation to the MLB draft comes in. “Noah, this is amazing,” she squeaks, jumping into my arms. I hold her tightly, enjoying the closeness. “It’s still up in the air,” I say shakily, but I can’t keep the smile off my face. “Nothing’s one hundred percent certain yet.”“You know where I stand on all of that.” She draws back to look at
*Jane*This is it. The months of hard work and the struggles coming from the toll that took on Noah’s personal life are about to be tested to see whether they were worth it all.But I can tell how it weighs heavily on him. The game is tomorrow and he’s still lying awake at nearly midnight. I roll over and put my hand on his shoulder. “You’re still up?” I ask.He raises his head and turns back to look at me with a guilty smile on his face. “Yeah. Sorry, I thought you were sleeping already, babe. Didn’t mean to wake you.”“I’ve been up,” I tell him, adjusting myself and propping myself up on my elbow. He turns over completely so we’re facing each other. I can see the dark circles under his eyes and the weariness of his face. He’s tired but anxious. Reaching out, I caress his cheek with my knuckles. “It’s nothing you don’t know already, but you need to rest up, Noah.”“Yeah, I do know that,” he says. “So talk to me. Why can’t you?” He hesitates.
*Noah*I firmly believe that Jane Thomas is a good luck charm on top of being a curveball because the second game played after we made up is a clean sweep. Another day, another relationship-ending crisis averted. However, my behavior did force me to look at the way I let my father influence my life. I never want him to have that kind of power over me again and I definitely don’t want Jane to ever have to bear the brunt of that again, regardless of whether it was what I intended or not. But I’d just gotten so sick of hearing that kind of shit from him, from my coach, and so many other people who just saw me as a free ticket to whatever places my career could take me. And maybe a small part of me was terrified that Jane might be changing her mind about that too. It was just easier to ply myself with alcohol and pretend that I didn’t have to think about anything else. Jane getting pushed out of that was my fault. But it’s never happening again. My phone buzzes with an i
*Jane*When I wake up, I wake up alone. It puzzles me how short an amount of time it took for that loneliness to feel so unfamiliar. But then again, Noah and I have spent every single night together for the past month, so I guess it’s not that strange. New habits form quickly. But I still hate the emptiness of the bed, how cold it feels without another body laying next to me. I’m still meant to be pissed off though, so I shake all thoughts of Noah’s arms from my mind and head into the en suite shower. The sun is just barely piquing the horizon, but I can’t sleep anymore. As the hot water runs over my body, I think about how I’m going to go around facing him today. It’s bound to be uncomfortable. Plus, we’re stuck in the Airbnb together between games, so unless he’s decided to run off in the middle of the night half-drunk, I know that I’m going to have to face him sometime this morning. I put on one of the bathrobes hanging off the rack and stick my head out t
*Jane*I find my way back to the Airbnb by myself. I head straight for a shower, wanting to wash off the sweat and vibes of the afterparty from my skin. It was the first time I felt so … invisible. Usually, I could rely on Noah to always try and make me feel comfortable. But tonight just seemed like it was all about him. I get changed into my pajamas, then crash into bed with the book I haven’t finished reading yet. I pretend as though I’m taking anything in.“Baby?” Noah’s slurred voice calls out two hours later. I can hear as he barely manages to shut and lock the door behind him, and I’m surprised that he was able to find his way back here at all. I don’t move from my spot on the bed and I don’t even bother putting the book I’m reading down. I’m pissed. I’ll admit that. I know I wanted him to be able to enjoy his win with his teammates and fans and be able to focus on something other than his father but still… The fact that he was willing to let me walk out of
*Jane* “Hello? Have I seriously been having a conversation with myself this entire time?”With a small shake of my head, I bring myself back to the present. Rachel’s looking at me with a raised eyebrow and knowing smile, her hand outstretched palm side up like she’s waiting for something.“Sorry, what?” I ask, slightly embarrassed.My thoughts had been completely overtaken by memories of last night. I kept replaying how Noah spoke to me through it, how he held me, and how his body felt against mine. I’d completely lost track of where I was. Rachel was over at our Airbnb, getting ready with me for the big game today while the boys went off to the stadium. But I’d evidently been so distracted, that I hadn’t realized she’d been speaking to me the entire time. “Your eyeliner,” she says. “I asked if I could borrow it.”“Oh, yeah. Sure.” I hand it over, but the look on her face doesn’t change. “What?”“You know exactly what. I take it the date went well last night.
*Jane*I’m reading a book on the couch when Noah walks in from practice, his hair still wet from his shower. He looks so excited to see me, even more than he usually does, and I immediately put the book down. We’re currently staying in the Airbnb that he’s booked for the entire week we’re spending in Omaha. It’s beautiful, complete with a pool and full catering that I’m eternally grateful for because we don’t exactly have much time to go around searching for decent food stops. I get up to greet him, beaming, and he takes me into his arms and sweeps me into a kiss that curls my toes. He pulls back, a sweet boyish grin on his face. “I have a surprise for you,” he says like he can barely contain it anymore. I quirk up an eyebrow. “And how exactly would you have had time to put together a surprise?”“I have my ways,” he replies cockily, running his hands down my arms and taking my hands in his. He leads me upstairs, telling me to follow him. There was one section
*Noah*“And that does it folks, the Billmore Bulldogs are headed to their first College World Series!”The announcer’s words ring in my head over and over, swirling around like water down a drain as I replay the broadcast. It doesn’t feel real. None of this feels real. I made it. I actually made it. This is by far the biggest step of my career so far, and I can’t seem to wipe the smile off my face when I think about it—which is almost all the time. It’s a funny thing, reaching a huge milestone that up until this point has always just felt like a pipe dream. Something big enough to crush your spirit when you are pulled further away from it, but still too far ahead to really bank anything on without some degree of delusional faith. And now here it is, the opportunity to catapult myself onto a proper stage. But the resting thought side by side with what feels like the culmination of all the hard work I’ve done throughout my life so far is Jane. Jane Thomas.