Chapter 1 June

I can feel the wind blowing while I lay down on the green grass. It’s been six months since I’ve broken up with my first love and it feels like nothing’s the same anymore. I shouldn’t be feeling this way.

But yet I do. Just feeling lost in my own skin and I just can’t let it go. Sometimes I feel so sick of myself. Everyone keeps getting everything they want. I just feel full of humiliation and confusion, but no one understands me. Well, no one in my family. 

Am I just overthinking it all? I should be happier, ready to conquer the world and pursue my dreams. I should be feeling an urge of ambition.

“Carolina, have you seen my script for tonight’s show!” Mom yells from inside the house. 

My mom, Emily, is on a famous TV show, Runaway Paris. It’s one of the best shows that’s streaming on television now! 

My Dad, George, on the other hand, is one of the most successful lawyers in all of New York. He’s always so busy meeting up with clients. My parents are very classy and wealthy people. Very supportive, I’d say, but sometimes it’s a bit too much. I’ve always wanted to experience life for its natural beauty and earn things for myself. 

Fear is dangerous. It's the biggest struggle that keeps me from being on my own. I finally get up and walk inside. 

“Mom! Have you found it?” 

“No. Can you ask Tanner? I’m sure he’s just trying to mess with me so I can sign the permission slip. You know, for the stupid music camp thing.” 

Tanner is my younger brother. He has a dream of being a musician. I cannot begin to explain how talented he is. I’ve always supported his dreams and even helped him when he asked. My mom and dad don’t support it. They want him to graduate college and become a full-time lawyer like my dad. 

I walk upstairs looking for Tanner. Where is this kid? “Tanner! Where are you?” 

“Bullshit! I’ve tried telling her many times. Damn, it's just for two months. I’ll finish school once I’m back. I’ll go to college and study some music majors. She wants me to go to college, right? Ugh. I don’t have her script if that’s what you're wondering about Carol. I could hear her yelling from downstairs!” 

“Tanner, please calm down! I’ll talk to her if you truly want to go. She’s probably overwhelmed with work and the fact of dad coming home tomorrow from that seminar he’s been on!” 

Tanner starts to have tears in his eyes and looks up at me. 

“I don’t understand, she’s heard my music. It’s my passion. I need to go to Carol. It's the best opportunity I’ve ever got.” 

“I know! That’s why I’ll help you buddy. Relax, wipe those tears, I’ll talk to mom for you, besides I’m not sure what plans will fall into place this summer. Ever since my breakup, I’ve been kind of lost. I need to find myself. I mean graduation is over, now what’s next?” 

“Carol, you can be in my band. You can write the music for us or well,you can be the background guitarist. Umm. If you want to be.”

I laugh. 

“Chill out little one, it’s your thing. Go to that camp and make me proud. Write a song or something. It’s the start of your dream. Don’t blow it.” 

“You promise, mom will say yes?” 

“Positive, I kind of got my way around talking to her. She listens to me because I’m the older one.” 

I laugh and give Tanner a warm hug. 

“No. Hannah is older by a minute!” 

Hannah is my twin sister. She’s a fashionista. She’s always in a different world, filled with beauty and rainbows. I’m older by wisdom and by heart. 

“True but I’m older by heart, I give better advice, right? Anyway, book now please. Come on Tanner mom needs her script back, she’s leaving in thirty minutes!” 

“Alright, alright, chill out. It’s over here.” 

Tanner walks me over to his desk, opens the bottom drawer and hands me the script. 

“It’s like magic, I don’t know how it got there.” 

“Right. Sure, you don’t. Okay, I’m going to give it to mom.” 

I ran downstairs. 

“Mom, I found it! It was in dad's office by the door.” 

I couldn’t say Tanner had it. She’s already so upset with him. 

“Dad’s office space? Huh. Any idea how it got there? I have to leave now. I know it’s Tanner, stop trying to defend your brother. I can see right through your lies.” 

“Okay. Tanner had it, but he only took it because he wants you to understand how important this opportunity is for him. It’s a once in a life-time opportunity. Besides, if you send him, he’ll be leaving in July. You can finally go on a vacation to see aunt Clara in London. You and dad deserve it after all you’ve been through this year. You’ve both worked way too hard.” 

“I have to leave now Carol. I’m late for work.” 

Mom picks up her bag and walks out, locking the door behind her. 

“Bye mom!” 

“Bye Carol, see you at 8:00 p.m.”

Hannah just walked in. She’s been at the salon all afternoon.

“Hannah! Omg! Blonde now?

“Yea. What? Don’t you like it? The woman gave me purple shampoo. It helps to even out the tone.” 

I get up from laying on the couch. 

“It’s very radiant, bright actually. It fits your personality. I love it.” 

“Right! Everyone from my girl squad was there, we're all blonde now.” 

“Wow, that’s cool. Come, want some popcorn? I’m watching reruns of the Kardashians.”

“Nah, I’m heading upstairs to try out this purple shampoo! Betsy said it will give my hair shine and even out the color.” 

“No brassy ends. She did a neat job sis.” 

Tanner walks downstairs. 

“Barbie in the house!” 

“Shut up Tanner!” 

“What’s in the bag?” 

Tanner looks in the plastic bag. 

“Purple shampoo! Now that’s more like it. Purple hair is cool, you can be in my famous band one day with that hair. I underestimated you sis.”

“Carol, can you tell this child he doesn’t know anything about beauty? Just because your hair stinks Tanner, doesn’t mean you can insult mine!” 

“Guys stop already. Hannah, do you know dad’s coming home tomorrow? I haven’t seen him since graduation. I spoke to him on the phone earlier today and he’s excited about coming home. He’s bringing gifts for us too. He also mentioned he wanted to talk about something important, but I’m scared. What could it be?”

“Maybe he’s giving you a new car!” Tanner shouts. 

“It could be a world tour ticket, so you can get Tanner out of the house and leave him somewhere!” Hannah adds. 

“I shouldn’t have told neither of you. I’m going up to my room now.” 

“Carol, wait!” 

Tanner follows me. 

“Did you talk to mom before she left?”

“Yea. She said she’ll think about it. She needs time Tanner.” 

I walk upstairs to the bathroom and wash my face. 

It’s the next day and now I find myself helping my mom make dinner. It's Spaghetti night. Dad’s finally home and we’re all excited. He has so much to tell us. For some reason dad cannot stop talking about the seminar. He loves to educate us about his experiences. 

“Sweetie, pass me the sauce. The pasta is almost finished.” Mom says.

“Yay! We did it mom. It looks amazing. My cupcakes aren’t done yet. The timer is set to twenty minutes.” 

I check the timer. 

“It says five minutes left mom!” 

“Awesome, the cupcakes you make are the best. Make sure you remember to add the sprinkles this time!” 

“Oh, that’s right mom. Yikes! The sprinkles are in the cupboard, I should take it out now before I forget.” 

I open the cupboard, looking for the sprinkles. I really want to ask mom if she’s made a decision about Tanner's trip. I’m afraid to ask right before dinner. Dad needs to discuss something with me, which also makes me so anxious. Dad refuses to tell me now. He wants to discuss it over dinner. I can’t hold it in anymore. I need to ask mom.

“Mom, do you remember the talk we had about Tanner and his music camp? I just think it’s a good opportunity and he shouldn’t blow it.” 

Let’s face it, we all have secret talents and if you don’t embrace them, then what’s the point? I needed to get it out in the open.

“I’ve given it some thought. I don’t have an answer at the moment, but I’m thinking about it. Carol he’s a senior in high school. He needs to complete school first and whatever he does after that, well it’s all on him. Your dad and I cannot stop him once he graduates, he’s seventeen now and needs to graduate high school. I’m justworried for him. We live in New York. The camp is all the way in Los Angeles.” 

“Okay mom, but please consider it. He does take school seriously, he’s a bright student. At all those school conferences, his teachers always say great things, don’t they?” I ask.

“Trust me I will. For now, let’s set the table. I think your cupcakes are ready.” 

I take my cupcakes out of the oven and start decorating. They’re lovely already and smell wonderful. I love baking and decorating, it’s a form of art and being creative! As I draw butterflies on each cupcake, it makes me think about summer. What about myself? What should I do this summer? Travel, explore, or just go on a vacation with my sister and her squad? No, I cannot stand those girls. Okay, that’s ruled out. 

“Dinners ready.” Mom yells from downstairs. 

Everyone sits down at the dinner table. I can just see the relief on dad's face to finally be home with his family. I put the cupcakes on the table, setting them perfectly on a plate. I pull my chair and sit down. 

“Spaghetti looks delicious Emily. I am so happy to be home! I've missed you all more than anything.” Dad says.

“Thanks for the car dad.” Tanner says. 

“Son you’ve earned it and your sisters did also. Besides, you all need to start driving eventually, so why not now?”

“You got us each a car dad?” I ask.

“Yes Carol, you all deserved it. Mom has been telling me how well you guys are doing in school andI’m beyond proud. Hannah, I love the new look on you. Your hair is so shiny!”

Hannah laughs a bit. 

“The color is a bit brighter now. Betsy, from the salon, said I need to keep using the purple shampoo twice a week to even out the color. I drove the car earlier dad. I could feel the wind run through my long blonde hair. I love the car, thank you.” 

“Dad, I’m so grateful for all that you do for us. We are just so lucky. I just wish you were home all the time. Wish moments like this would last longer. We all love you so much dad. I made cupcakes too. Can you please try them?” I ask.

I cannot stop thinking. What was so important to discuss over dinner? Was it the cars? No, it can’t be. If it’s not the cars, then what is it? Is he shipping me to Paris alone to find someone special? Does he think I’m too desperate or depressed from my last breakup? What could it be? 

Dad picks up a cupcake and he’s so impressed. 

“Now which bakery did you buy them from? I need to write a review on them, the baker is so talented! I love it.” 

“Thanks dad, the bakery is called Carolina’s Pink Cake World.” I say with a chuckle. 

“George, we have completed the third season of Runaway Paris. My manager gave me some time off for the summer. I was wondering if we can go to London and see your sister Clara?”

“I think we can make that work honey. I can just let my paralegal know and we’ll be all set from there. I think it will be fun. Speaking of summer plans, Carol, I wanted to talk to you about something important.” 

My heart is beating so quickly. I’m just filled with anxiety. What could it be? 

“Yes dad, I remember you mentioned it over the phone.” I say.

“Well, your mother and I have been talking. Since you graduated college this year and worked extremely hard. We want to help you on your journey to travel. Well, I don’t know how to say it, but we’re giving you $500,000 to start building a bright future for yourself and accomplish your ambitions.”

My mouth drops and my eyes openwide. I freeze for a second, not knowing what to say or do. I couldn’t believe what I’m hearing. 

“I..I…don’t know…dad are you sure? That’s a lot of money, do you think I’m ready for that kind of responsibility?” I say stammering.

“Yes! Your mother and I talked about it for months. You need to start believing in yourself. You can do so much Carol, you're so creative and we want you to make us proud!”

I get up from my chair to hug my mom and dad. I break down in tears. I’ve been through so much this year, dealing with my first heartbreak, trying to find myself. It’s just been a rough patch the past few months. 

“Don’t cry. Please we love you.” Mom says.

“You’re special Carol, and we want the best for you.” Dad says.

As I wipe my tears away, I thank my parents again. 

“Now since your passion was to travel, we are giving you the ranch house in Pennsylvania for the start of your journey. Here’s the key.” Mom says.

I’m speechless and excited at the same time. Pennsylvania, huh, not bad for a start. It’s close to New York too. Wow, I wasn't expecting this. I love the idea of being on my own, but I want to earn it all. I am so grateful for everything my parents have done. I think I just need to prove to them; I’ll be okay on my own. Takes time to prove a point, I guess. So, let’s see where life takes me.