CHAPTER 17

Xander’s POV

The room was filled with tension. Every eye was set on me, but my temperament didn't change. I could feel Beatrice reeling in frustration, but I don't care now—she was the first person to hurt me by leaving. Even though I hated her, one part of my mind still felt like telling her sorry. 

I wanted to push it aside, to tell myself that it was all part of the game she had started—my way of asserting control over her. I had been doing it Since all this While, after all, manipulating, controlling, pushing her to the edge. Yet, today, I couldn’t shake the feeling that I wasn’t the one in charge here.

As she sat beside me, I saw the whispers in the eyes of the others, the subtle glances exchanged, the way they tried to pretend they weren’t watching. But they were. They always were. My reputation preceded me, and no one dared to challenge my decisions, not even if it was as trivial as ordering someone to serve me at a business lunch.

When she poured my drink and returned to her seat, I saw the humiliation and discomfort written on her. The way her hands were trembling, I was only trying to control myself; my wolf kept shouting, "This is not right, but right now, I don't care."

But why was I feeling this way?

Is it because she was my mate and I was connected to her, or did I feel her pity or guilt? No. I never felt guilty. At least, not until now. But Beatrice was different. She always had been. She had this uncanny ability to crawl under my skin, to make me question every decision, every command, every little thing I did. It was frustrating, and it wasn't very clear.

I couldn’t let it show, though.

I wouldn’t let it show. No one must ever realise that the powerful Lycan king took pity on a worker. 

“Beatrice,” I said, my voice cold and sharp, cutting through the heavy silence in the room. “You did well today.” At least you did the waiter's duty better than your secretary's job.

I saw her flinch, her shoulders stiffening, and I couldn’t suppress the satisfaction that flickered through me. It was a strange feeling—satisfaction mixed with something else. Something I couldn’t quite name.

The lunch continued, but I wasn’t fully present. I barely noticed the food being served or the idle chatter of the others. My focus was on her—on Beatrice. She didn’t belong here. She never had. Yet, there she was, sitting beside me, serving me as if she had always been a part of this world.

The rest of the meal passed in a haze. I didn’t feel the usual high that came with being in control and making others bend to my will. I felt that others were mocking me for my rude behaviour towards my secretary, but they dared not say anything again if they were not ready to lose their jobs. I felt a gnawing unease. Something in me was unravelling, and I couldn’t quite grasp it.

The moment was interrupted by a voice from the crowd that wasn’t afraid to speak up, to challenge me. I didn't see this coming.

“Excuse me, Xander,” someone said, a hint of amusement in their tone. “You could just call the waiter over to serve you. They’re here for that, after all.”

I turned, my gaze narrowing. The room fell silent, the weight of my stare making the air even heavier. I recognised the speaker. It was Nathan, one of the junior employees who usually kept to himself. He had a knack for staying under the radar, always doing his work without causing any trouble.

But now, here he was, challenging me in front of everyone.

I leaned back in my chair, staring at him with disbelief and irritation.

“Are you the boss here, or is it me?” I asked, my voice low, a thread of menace woven through my words. I pay everyone's salary here, so you can drop your resignation letter if you have any complaints!

The room held its breath, everyone waiting for the fallout. I could see Nathan squirm, but he didn’t back down. He seemed to stand straighter as if daring me to do something.

“I... I’m sorry, sir,” he stammered. “I just thought—”

“Don’t think,” I cut him off, my eyes sharp, piercing. “Just follow orders.”

The air between us was thick with tension, but I wasn’t done yet. I could feel the power surge within me as I spoke, my voice cold, commanding, but there was an edge to it—something that felt... wrong.

I turned back to Beatrice, her eyes avoiding mine, her posture stiff. She wasn’t looking at me the way she used to. There was something different in her gaze today, something I couldn’t place. But whatever it was, it unsettled me.

The rest of the lunch passed in uncomfortable silence, the once-bustling room feeling suffocating. The other employees finished their meals quietly, and no one dared to speak up again after my confrontation with Nathan.

As the lunch wrapped up, I couldn’t shake the feeling that something had shifted. The usual satisfaction I’d gotten from making everyone obey my orders had been replaced by... discomfort. I didn’t know why. Beatrice had done exactly what I told her to do—she’d served me at the table. So why was I feeling this sense of... unease?

I watched as the others dispersed, quietly leaving the dining area and heading back to their cubicles like obedient little drones. Everyone had gone back to their work without saying a word. But I wasn’t ready to retreat to the monotony of business just yet.

I stayed seated, watching the empty table, my mind swirling. The quiet clink of stacked plates and the soft shuffle of footsteps on the floor seemed distant now. It wasn’t just the stares that followed me during lunch; it wasn’t how they all seemed to fall silent the moment I spoke. No, it was something deeper. Something about the way Beatrice had reacted that gnawed at me. The way she’d stood there, looking small, vulnerable. The way she’d trembled when she poured the drink.

I couldn’t stop thinking about it. What was it that made me feel this... unease?

I was Xander Thane. People feared me. They obeyed me without question. And Beatrice? She had been a part of my world for years—someone I controlled, someone who didn’t matter. She had been just another player in my game.

But now, I wasn’t so sure. I could still see her face—her eyes that avoided mine, the slight flush of discomfort that coloured her cheeks. She didn’t look at me like she used to.

It wasn't very pleasant. It made me feel helpless, and I couldn't afford that.

I returned to the documents before me, trying to focus on the proposals Ryder had dropped off. But the words blurred together. I couldn’t concentrate.

A knock on the door brought me out of my thoughts. I looked up to see Ryder standing there, expression unreadable.

"Yo, the proposals are ready for your review," he said.

I nodded curtly and motioned for him to come in. He laid the papers on the desk before me, but I couldn’t look at them. Instead, my mind kept going back to Beatrice—back to her trembling hands and the way her eyes had avoided mine.

"Xander?" Ryder’s voice cut through my thoughts.

I blinked, shaking my head to clear the fog. “Yeah, let’s go over them.”

I picked up the papers, pretending to focus on the documents before me, but I was no longer fully in the room. Ryder kept talking, outlining the changes in the proposal, but I wasn’t listening. My mind was elsewhere.

I needed to focus. I had to. I couldn’t afford distractions. But they returned no matter how hard I tried to push the thoughts away. Beatrice’s face, eyes, and vulnerability were all too much.

I slammed the papers down on the desk more forcefully than intended. Ryder stopped talking, his eyes flicking nervously between me and the documents.

“Is something wrong, Xander?” he asked quietly, his voice laced with concern.

I could feel my frustration building, the tension rising in my chest. The last thing I wanted was to admit that I was struggling with something—especially not when it came to her. I had control over everything, everything except... her.

“No,” I said, my voice sharper than I meant. “Let’s finish this.”

Ryder gave me a wary glance, but he nodded and continued. I half-listened, my thoughts still scattered. I could hear his voice, but it was like it was coming from him.