Ethan Hernandez - March, 2012I look at the rain from my bedroom window with my thoughts far away. I was thinking about her. It was always her.Every year when I came home I would find a different Sofia. I saw when she was a pest child who was always in trouble and I would take it upon myself to take over her mess. I saw her grow into a rebellious teenager using me as a ladder to escape through her bedroom window.I knew she would run away anyway, I just helped her out so she wouldn't end up twisting a foot trying to get away from her parents to some party. And then I watched her become a woman. And this was the most difficult transformation, because I couldn't be by her side. I had to watch from afar as she walked into adulthood without me.I put my head against the glass and closed my eyes remembering when I saw her again after all these years. If 18 year old Sofia was already tormenting me, this 25 year old Sofia was to finish me off for good. She looked so beautiful that I had no
Ethan Hernandez - December, 2005Sofia and I kissed in the fountain two hours ago and I was in my bed, bathed too anxious to get to sleep. The next time we talked I was going to declare myself. I was going to tell her all about my feelings. She was 18 now, there was nothing wrong with how I felt anymore, and if she wanted me to, I would ask her to be my girlfriend. Hell, I could see myself marrying that girl.I heard knocking at the door and imagined it was Nick's drunk ass coming to disturb me. He was a big crybaby when he was drinking.I opened the door and was surprised to see Sofia in her pajamas and wet hair looking embarrassed. I arched an eyebrow, knowing how much that gesture annoyed her.“I couldn't sleep” she said dullly. I smiled at that. I opened the door, making room for her to enter. Sofia settled down on my bed between the sheets cross-legged and pulled the pillow to her face. Was she smelling it?Sofia seemed to notice me watching her and pulled the pillow down with a b
Sofia Adams - March, 2012“Sofia?” I heard Ethan's voice calling me but I couldn't think of anything. All I could think about was that night and all it meant to all of us. I couldn't believe it.“Was Nick sick?” I asked, still confused. This couldn't be possible.Ethan's expression changed from concerned to disbelieving in a second adding to my confusion.“He didn't tell you? Even after all these years? Even after you...” he asked, shocked.“No," I cut him off before he could finish his sentence.Now it all made sense. The way Ethan acted, how Nick had always been so eager to live through everything these past few years. The weakness, the bad memory, and how he always got tired so fast.My God, all the signs were there. I couldn't bear not to have seen it.“Sofia?” Ethan touched my hug and I immediately pulled away angrily. He could have avoided this if he had told me. They both could have. And since Nick wasn't with me Ethan became the target of the poison that came next.“I thought
Sofia Adams - March, 2012I was at an impasse. I promised Anne I wouldn't drink, but just thinking about facing this sober I was starting to break out in a cold sweat. How would I do that?I stopped in the lobby of the hotel, not sure what to do. I could turn right and take the corridor towards the bar or I could go to the front desk and ask for Ethan's number.I had erased it from my cell phone and my memory the last time I expected him to show up and he didn't come.I looked once more down the hall to the right taking a step in that direction. I hadn't promised pinkie, but I knew how disappointed Anne would be if she knew I had lied to her.It was that thought that made me step back and head for the reception desk. For today, I would do things the hard way, but the right way.“Excuse me, could you give me Ethan Hernandez's number? He is working on the renovation of this hotel," I informed the blonde in front of me with my best imploring smile.She stared at me for a second before si
Sofia Adams - October, 2010I looked relieved at the three negative pregnancy tests on the bathroom sink. I was definitely not ready to be a mother, Nick and I had just been married for eight months, I was finishing my college degree now.... It was too soon to think about children, a baby was not in my plans for the next five years. Thankfully, whatever happened to my period, it was just a little late.I heard the door to the house open and the familiar sound of Nick's boots hitting the ground to get rid of the little snow that had accumulated. Winter had come early this year, the thin layer of ice that had formed on my driveway and the bruise on my butt when I slipped three days ago proved that.I threw the tests in the bathroom trash and went out to meet Nick.“Adams, come here and give your husband a kiss," Nick called out, smiling as soon as he saw me enter.“Sure, honey," I returned in an affected voice, playfully approaching him and planting a chaste kiss on his lips.It was at
Ethan Hernandez - March, 2012I watched the woman before me crumble.Sofia was normal, or as normal as she could be considering our situation... But it was only the mention of Nick and that night that in a few seconds she started crying non-stop and rubbing her arms and hands hard compulsively, I wasn't understanding anything.I tried to get close and get her attention but her eyes were blank and she seemed too far away to hear me. She was lost... drowning in a sea of memories that I didn't know. Could someone save her?“Sofia, stop” I asked, holding her hands gently and trying to calm her down.I pulled her out of her seat and carried her away before her state drew unwanted attention.I carried her up the stairs, my initial plan was to take her to her room, but the outbreak seemed to get worse by the second and my room was closer so I pulled her into it as soon as we reached the second floor.Sofia walked in and seemed to be blindly reaching for something, tripping over her own feet.
Sofia Adams - March 2012I was in Ethan's arms again after seven years. Seven long years without feeling that flutter in my stomach just from being close to him and smelling his scent, which remained exactly the same as before.I wasn't sure how to feel. I was happy to have him around, but something still felt off.The scent... Despite his scent being the same, he wasn't the same person, and well... neither was I.Ethan still wore the same woody perfume as always, but I got used to Nick's lemony scent, the freshness. Nick was my husband and my best friend; he was always there for me, Ethan wasn't.I pulled away from his embrace, trying to think clearly. Ethan let me go without hesitation, his gaze questioning.I wasn't sure. I sighed, tired. In addition to the sleepless night, it was hard to decipher the man he had become. I didn't want to break down the way I did yesterday, especially with him watching. But it happened, and now I could only move forward."How do you feel?" he asked a
Sofia Adams – March, 2012I was having a great time with Mick... So much so that I didn't even notice the time passing. We were just talking and drinking. Mick knew details of my life that I had never dared to share with a stranger, but he had this aura about him. This easygoing temperament that made you trust and open up."Hm, Sofia?" Mick called out in the middle of my story about how I tripped and fell on the dance floor in Vegas the last time I was here."Yes?" I questioned, my voice sounding much more slurred than I intended. How many shots had I taken again?"I think you were supposed to meet your friend half an hour ago," he reminded me with a sheepish smile.I furrowed my brow in confusion at his words and checked the clock on the bar wall.Damn, he was right."Alright, smarty pants, I'll call her," I said.I checked my phone, and indeed, there were several missed calls and some messages from Anne wondering where I was. I made the call and waited for her to answer, which didn'
Sofia Hernandez - January, 2022I enter her room desperate not to see what I wanted. I try to contain the panic, while my logical side screams that she's only been missing for a few minutes.My cellphone beeps."I found her, she's in the tree."I exhale in relief and head straight to the garden. Up high, proudly standing, is my treehouse reminiscent of another life.I climb the stairs, which are sturdier than ever after the renovation five years ago.I hear her carefree laughter before seeing her face. "I'm sure it's not written like that, Daddy."My little girl looks at the book resting on her lap while her back is supported against Ethan's chest.- "Don't blame me, blame the book. It's right here," Ethan points to a passage on the page, laughing.Her childish face contorts into a grimace, and I know she won't stop until she gets the answer she wants."No, Daddy, that's not right. That word isn't "stinky" I know what stinky means, and it's not that," she responds, looking into his e
Ethan Hernandez - May, 2014As I embarked on my journey around the world, I thought of Sofia every day.We kept sporadic contact through messages, just checking in on each other. Every time I receive a message from her, my heart fills with joy. She seemed to be doing well, having landed a job as a primary school teacher near her home, and most importantly, she was sober.While traveling, I meet incredible people, visit fascinating places, and delve deeper into my career as an architect. But in every new location, there's an emptiness, a void that only Sofia's presence can fill.Two years quickly pass by.I look at my latest project nearing completion. A beachfront vacation home in Lanikai.This was the last house I would work on in the renovation of the friends Mr. Miller referred me to.After that, a position as a university professor awaited me in Chicago, my hometown, where my family lived.I was eager to live near my mother and sisters again, but I'd be lying if I said that the ca
Sofia Adams - May, 2012Entering the house where I lived with Nick feels strange because it seems like a lifetime ago that I was here, not just two months. I gather all the cleaning supplies, garbage bags, and boxes that I will need.Entering our bedroom is like being hit by a million memories all at once, including our last fight. Nevertheless, I stay strong and begin to clean. I carefully fold and store Nick's clothes that will be donated, pack away items I don't want to get rid of, and items that I know his parents would want.After everything is sorted and sealed, I start cleaning the room. I change the sheets, take out the trash, and I even find the empty box of the pregnancy test from that night. It was never a possibility, and I feel sad for the children I never had with him. But it's a sadness that I now know I can bear, and I can do it all without alcohol.I call Anne. I hear her sleepy "hello" from the other end of the line; I think I woke her up."I'm in my room," I say aft
Sofia Adams - April, 2012Spending ten days with Ethan, fully aware of my feelings, was almost magical. Whenever his work allowed, every minute was spent together. We visited every tourist spot in the city, went back to the Ferris wheel, talked on the rooftop until dawn. It was like how we used to be. Him and me in our own little bubble, stealing kisses here and there. It almost made me want to give up everything and follow him around the world. Almost. But here I was, sitting by the fountain one last time, looking at Ethan waiting for me.April is coming to an end, and so is our deadline."Have you made up your mind?" I ask, gazing at the undisturbed water. I tap my fingers, creating small ripples.Ethan touches his fingers to mine through the water."I've thought about it a lot, and I'm going to follow your suggestion... I'm going to accept. I've talked to my family, and in a month, I'll have a week off to visit them. For now, Hong Kong is my next destination," he says, taking a dee
Ethan Hernandez - April, 2012A long time passes without a response, and I offer another option."Or not, I can decline the offer, and we can go back to Chicago," I suggest.Sofia raises her head, and I see her eyes shimmering with unshed tears."We? Ethan, it's not your obligation to take care of me," she says, sounding slightly offended.It wasn't my intention to offend her with this conversation. We slowly resume walking aimlessly."I know that, I just want to," I say nonchalantly. I can't make a big deal out of it, or Sofia will run away.Sofia sighs."But I don't want that, and I don't think it's what I need right now," she firmly responds.Suddenly, I feel guilty. It seems like this conversation isn't going as I planned."But..." Before I can argue, she interrupts me."Look, Ethan, I appreciate the invitation. I really do, but I need to decline while you need to accept this offer," she says.I look at her confused; if I accept, the chances of us seeing each other will be almost
Ethan Hernandez - April, 2012Mr. Miller sent me another message asking if I accepted the offer.I send the following reply:"I'm still thinking, Sir. I promise to have an answer by May 1st."My phone immediately beeps."It will be two years traveling the world, Hernandez. You're young, you can make the most of this personal and professional experience. If it makes you more comfortable, I'm sure the costs of an additional traveler can be covered. Maybe that pretty friend of yours could go with you? ;)"I laugh at the message. Who would have thought my boss would play cupid. It's not the first time he suggests it; he's very generous.It would be a lie if I said that whenever the subject comes up, I don't stop to think. And to have a little hope.If Sofia were to come with me, traveling around and exploring places. Just the two of us enjoying our lives. It would be a dream.Before my mind wanders too much, I pull myself back to reality.Sofia is still slowly overcoming Nick's death. Sof
Sofia Adams - April, 2012I leave the meeting room with Kate in tow and find Ethan outside. For a moment, I forgot about our dinner."What's wrong?" he asks, already sensing that something isn't right."Jones didn't come. He's not responding or answering, and we think he's in a bad state," I reply, without mentioning his sister's possible birthday. It's not my story to tell."Where do you think he could be?" Kate asks."We could check his nightclub..." I reply uncertainly. Those environments were always challenging for a recovering alcoholic. There's plenty of alcohol available and reminders of the old life.Kate sighs, understanding my dilemma."I can go in there and look for him," Ethan suggests, seeing our distress.We breathe a sigh of relief."Yes!" Kate exclaims, already heading towards the exit.We arrive at the nightclub and wait outside while Ethan goes in.Some people are outside with their bottles in hand, chatting and having fun."Do you miss it?" I ask. Sometimes, I feel
Sofia Adams - April, 2012I stare at Anne, unable to believe what she's saying."I'm just saying she's changed. Maggie isn't the horrible teenager she used to be," she defends."Whatever, I'm just grateful she doesn't live here with her parents. I don't need to see her, and she doesn't need to see me. Everyone's happy," I respond, annoyed."Is this about Ethan?" Anne asks, adjusting herself on the bed in the room where she's staying at Tom's aunt and uncle's house."What? Of course not," I reply, avoiding eye contact and twisting the sheets on the bed with my fingers. "I've already gotten over that silly relationship they had. I've forgotten about it, and she was his first, that's all in the past.""I can see that," Anne responds, smiling at me.I caress her protruding belly."So, have you found out what it is yet?" I ask, changing the subject.Anne looks thoughtful."Well, unless I give birth to a pumpkin, I believe it's a baby," Anne responds seriously.I laugh at her terrible joke.
Sofia Adams - April 2012We walk through the streets of Las Vegas."Is the fourth step still keeping you up at night?" Ethan brings up our conversation again."I just don't understand what there is to evaluate. I did bad things, got it, next step," I say exasperatedly.Ethan laughs."I don't think it's that simple, Sofia..." We stop at a familiar park since we've come here a few times to talk."Tell me the complete step," Ethan requests, sitting on one of the plastic benches. I sit beside him."The fourth step: Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves. We were given instincts for a reason," I repeat.Ethan gazes into the horizon."Since these meetings started, I've been researching about it. The fourth step seems to be one of the hardest, and seeing you, I understand the difficulty. I think your main obstacle is not understanding why it's so important," Ethan says. I don't know how to feel when I hear that Ethan researched the twelve steps for me. It's confusing."Th