A start of something new

Marrissa's point of view 

"God, please give me a sign, show me what to do." That has been my prayer line since I got the news of my pregnancy.

It's been a week now, a very long week. I did nothing than eat and sleep.

I declined all calls from my place of work, I just do not care anymore.

Thank God for Molly, who kept calling and making sure I was okay.

But today was different. I woke up crying and cursing the night I spent with the stranger even more.

Whoever he is now an enemy to me. He took advantage of a drunk woman in distress. I should sue his ass.

"That's if you know who he is, my inner mind said.

I stayed in bed crying my eyes out. Later that evening, my stomach growled loudly, pulling me out of bed. 

Then I realized I had not eaten properly. Nothing in my kitchen cabinet interested me, but I craved something spicy.

As I moved to get dressed, I cursed loudly.

Imagine my baby craving something I have to spend money on. What happens when I'm out of a job and broke? Who takes care of both of us?

I sighed loudly as I looked down at my stomach, as if warning the child not to add to my problems.

"You know, it is not her fault," my inner mind chastised me.

Sure, it was the fault of that bastard who couldn't keep his penis locked.

I threw on a sweater and leggings, brushed my hair into a messy ponytail, and headed out. 

It was the first time I had left my apartment this week, and the cool evening air was startlingly fresh on my skin.

I wandered into a small restaurant I had passed a dozen times but never tried. 

The rich aroma of spices filled my nose, making my mouth water. 

I ordered a plate of spicy Szechuan noodles and sat down at a corner table to wait.

“Mar?”

The sound of my name made me look up. 

I screamed when I recognized the man standing in front of me.

“Andre?”

He smiled, the same cute smile I remembered from years ago. 

“Wow, it is you! I wasn’t sure at first. How long has it been?”

I found myself smiling broadly despite my predicament. 

Andre had been my best friend and neighbor growing up—the one who teased me but always stood up for me when it mattered. 

Everyone called us a couple then, because we were always seen together. In fact, I had always prayed Andre would end up being my husband, he was so caring and kind.

But we lost touch after high school. His family moved abroad and that was how I lost my best friend and future husband before Molly came along.

“What are you doing here?” I asked, gesturing for him to sit.

“I just moved back,” he explained, sliding into the chair across from me.

“And you? Still living here, I guess?”

“Yeah, still here,” I said. “It’s… been crazy since you left.”

How's your mom? He asked.

I kept silent for a while, lowering my head.

"Mar, speak to me," he said, placing his hand on my shoulder.

"She passed away," I said sadly.

"Oh God," he exclaimed.

"I'm sorry Mar," he said, and surprisingly he gave me a warm hug.

I curled myself in his arms, feeling his warmth. I suddenly started crying, not exactly sure why I was crying so hard.

"It's okay Mar, I know how hard it must have been for you, but I'm here now, you are not alone," he consoled me.

Those words melted the burden and pain in my heart, seeing Andre again gave me a sudden sense of hope and relief.

We spent the next half hour catching up, laughing over old memories and sharing updates about our lives. 

For the first time in days, I felt like myself again.

When the food arrived, I dug in eagerly, savoring the heat and spicy flavors. 

But halfway through my meal, a sudden wave of nausea hit me hard. I set down my fork, my face instantly going pale.

“Mar, are you okay?” Andre asked, leaning forward.

“I don’t…” I paused, swallowing hard. “I think I need to go home.”

Andre stood immediately. “Come on, I’ll drive you.”

I didn’t argue. I was grateful he was around to help.

By the time we got to his car, my head was spinning, and I clutched my stomach, trying to hold it together.

Andre drove in silence, his eyes darting toward me with concern every few seconds. 

When he pulled up to my building, he helped me out and insisted on walking me to the door.

“Are you sure you’ll be okay?” he asked, his voice gentle but worried.

I nodded, leaning against the door frame for support. “I’ll be fine. I just need to lie down.”

He hesitated,"Do you want me to stay with you?" he asked.

"No…no.. I would be fine," I assured him.

“If you need anything—anything at all—call me, okay?” he took my phone and typed in his number.

“Okay,” I said softly. Thanks a lot.

"You don't need to, Mar," he said, opening his arms wide.

I smiled and moved into his hands.

He hugged me tightly, and placed a peck on my cheeks.

"I really missed you doll," he said, smiling.

'Doll’ was the nickname he gave me. I'm surprised he remembers.

"Drive safely," I said, waving him goodbye.

I watched as he left, my emotions swirling. Maybe this was the sign I was waiting for. Obviously, the universe is giving me another chance at love and no one will make me loose this time, not even this child.

"Tomorrow seemed like the start of something new," I whispered and smiled.

A sudden movement caught my attention. I slowly walked towards the gate, wondering who was there.

Looking left and right, I saw no one there, ". Maybe it was a stray cat," I said, going back inside.

Closing the door behind me, I leaned against it, exhausted and overwhelmed. 

My hand drifted to my stomach,"I'm sorry, this is not just the right time," I said, tears rolling down my eyes.