Chapter Nine- Laken

LAKEN

I follow Blake to a booth, and on the way, we pass Tillie and her cult of followers.

I wouldn’t be surprised if she makes them offer sacrifices in exchange for a higher status at school.

These kids will graduate and be swallowed by the big world, and won’t know how to stand on their own two feet because they followed a bleach blonde barbie around for three years doing as she decreed.

“Hi, Blake,” Tillie says with a flip of her hair.

He looks back at me, grabs my hand, and pulls me to the booth in the back corner, to which I hear the word, “whore” muttered under Tillie’s breath as we pass. Salty bitch.

Yeah, I’m here with him and you’re not, so suck it. Call me a whore, slut, or whatever you want. At least I’m not ugly on the inside, and I don’t use my pussy to get what I want.

I will never understand women putting other women down. I understand emotions get involved; jealousy, envy, and other emotions that come from low self-esteem, but attacking other women because of those emotions can be stopped if you just keep your damn mouth closed.

That’s what I always try to do. If I want to say something then I hold it back, and it stays in my brain, to never be spoken aloud to cause discord.

I know it’s hard to not have a jerk reaction to say something back when something is said to you in a mean or hurtful way. And I’m not saying to never stand up for yourself, or for someone who needs you to stand up for them, but when someone is doing it just to get a rise out of you then that’s when you need to keep your mouth shut.

And that’s exactly what Tillie does. She constantly attacks me verbally for a reason, and I have no fucking clue why.

Like, seriously, if you’re going through this much trouble to make my life a living hell then just tell me the cause! Apparently, that’s not gonna happen.

I just have to take it and try to let it bounce off of me. Or act as if it bounces off of me. I won’t allow her to see my inner turmoil from the hurt her words and actions cause me. She would eat that up. That would be mission accomplished for her.

Blake holds my hand till I’m sitting in the booth then sits down across from me and grabs a menu that stands in the napkin holder at the end of our table.

“Don’t pay attention to those catty bitches. They live for trouble,” Blake says without taking his eyes off the menu.

“I wasn’t going to,” I reply while grabbing a menu of my own. “I know how to handle Tillie.”

“Is there history there? Why is she always after you? Is she jealous or something?” he asks.

Ha! What’s there to be jealous of? She wouldn’t last one day in my shoes.

“She used to be my best friend all through elementary and middle school. We were like sisters. Inseparable. But when ninth grade hit she just changed and started treating me differently. I don’t know why. She won’t tell me. If she was going to be that way then I wasn’t going to beg her to be my friend. I don’t beg for anything,” I say as I glance up at him.

Blake’s eyes look up at me for a moment but doesn’t say anything, so I go back to looking at the menu.

Dolly, who has worked at Dan’s for as long as I can remember, walks up to our booth and asks for our orders.

“I’ll have the double bacon cheeseburger, fries, and a Coke, please,” I say, giving Dolly my best smile.

“I’ll have the same, Dolly, but with a vanilla milkshake instead of a Coke,” Blake answers after she looks over to him.

“Anything for you, stud muffin,” Dolly says with a wink.

“When are you going to leave that husband of yours and get with a real man?” he asks with a smirk.

“Oh, honey, you wouldn’t be able to keep up with me,” she retorts with a wink. And I had no idea that Dolly was even capable of blushing.

She walks away as Blake chuckles. He looks back at me and sees my raised brow. And I probably need to close my mouth before I start catching flies.

“What? She’s fun to flirt with. Always seems to make her day, and I don’t think I ever want on Dolly’s bad side. I would probably be scared of her,” he says with a shrug.

I have to chuckle and agree on that one. I would be scared of Dolly myself if I ever went up against that woman. If she likes you then she’s as sweet as Dan’s pies. But if you piss her off...say your prayers because I swear that woman is a real witch.

But this guy is just full of surprises. Pleasant surprises. I like seeing him being that way with Dolly. A guy who is full of shit, and full of himself, wouldn’t take the time to flirt with an old lady.

Don’t get your heart involved, Laken. It won’t end well.

Friends. Just friends.

“Why a milkshake instead of a drink? Doesn’t seem like I could get my food down with a milkshake,” I say with a shake of my head.

“To dip my fries in,” he replies like it’s the most natural thing to do with a milkshake and fries.

“Okay, now that’s just weird,” I say as I wrinkle my nose in disgust.

“Don’t knock it unless you’ve tried it. It’s the nectar of the gods,” he says with a dreamy sigh that makes me laugh.

“I don’t know about that one, but I’m no wuss so bring it on!”

He laughs and promises me that I will love it. I doubt it, but I will try it since he’s so set on it.

“So, tell me about your mom. I heard you say that you had already put her to bed. Does she have a disability or something?” he asks.

“Wow. Starting off with the tough questions, huh?” I reply.

“I’m sorry, I wasn’t aware that it was a tough question. You don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to, Laken,” he says softly.

“No, it’s fine. I don’t mind talking about her. But no, she doesn’t have a disability. She just stays drugged up all the time. On prescription pills though, so I guess it could be worse and be illegal drugs. But it still hurts that she does that and doesn’t give a shit about anyone but herself. She’s basically a zombie mom.”

I can’t look at him with my next words so I set my eyes on the parking lot outside of the window next to our booth.

“I’m always afraid that one day I will come home from school and she will be dead. Every day after school that is the first thing I think of when I walk into a quiet house. Is this the day she leaves me all alone with him?” I say in a soft low voice, knowing I’m showing my vulnerability.

He seems to bring that part out of me, and I don’t know why. I’ve never been able to talk to anyone about this. I don’t know if it’s freeing telling someone else the dark parts in my life, but he’s already seen my dad so I might as well talk about my mom. It’s not like the whole town doesn’t already know about her tendency to medicate and become numb to the world. To her family and everything else around her.

“Although I guess it feels like she has already left me all alone with him. But I can’t even say that I blame her on that one. You’ve met my dad. It is what it is,” I say with a shrug.

“I know what you mean,” he says with a frown.

“My mother was a drug addict, and I’m surprised that she lived as long as she did. She wasn’t a bad mom. I know that she loved me as best she could. There were times when I had to take care of her starting at a young age, so I know how that feels as well.”

He looks at me with those soul-searching eyes of his that make me feel like he can see to the very core of who I am. And that makes me fidget and look away. I don’t want him to see my core. He wouldn’t like what he saw.

“Maybe you and I are more alike than you think, Laken,” he whispers.

I highly doubt that, but I don’t say anything. I can tell that he has darkness and pain in his life, but it doesn’t seem like the darkness is about to swallow him whole like it is me.

I feel like I’m hanging by a thread that will snap at any moment. And down, down, down I will go.

Shit, that’s depressing. Maybe mom has the right idea. She doesn’t feel anything, and I feel too much.

“You said that you were surprised that your mom lived as long as she did. I’m so sorry she’s gone. How did she die?” I ask.

“My dad killed her,” he says so low that I barely hear him.

Well, shit.