58Parang ngayon lang ako nahiya sa pinaggagagawa ko at pinagsasasabi ko kanina. Ngayon lang ako nagising na nakakahiya ang mga sinabi ko.Halos magkasugat ang labi ko nang kagatin ko iyon ng mariin. Napapikit ako at halos takpan ko ang buong mukha ko sa pagkapahiya. Isubo? Did I really said that?Damn it! Si Bella talaga ang dapat sisihin dito! Kasalanan niua! Kung ano-ano kasi ang sinasabi niya sa'kin. I already did that years ago, pero it was already 6 years ago!Matagal na! Subrang tagal na non. Nakakahiya!"U-Umalis ka na nga!" Utal na sambit ko sa kanya."What?" Natatawa niyang tanong."Ang sabi ko, umalis ka na!" Pagtataboy ko sa kanya."You don't like it? But aren't you angry? I don't want you to get angry with me. Kakaayos pa nga lang natin, I don't want you to get angry with me again," he said teasingly."Hindi ka nakakatuwa, alam mo ba iyon?" Bulyaw ko sa kanya, pero natawa lang ulit siya."Baby—""Labas!" Pulang-pula na ang mukha ko habang sinasabi iyon sa kanya, pero ngum
59Mom walked out after that. She really hated what happened and how I told the whole family that Maddix is my boyfriend right now. I can't help but be sad. It makes me sad that Mama doesn't want Maddix for me, even though she knew before na gusto ko si Maddix. Tatayo sana ako para sundan si mama, but Tito Peter stop me."Hayaan mo muna ang mama mo, Aliyah. Kumain na kayo," sambit nito kaya napabuntong hininga ako.She saw me get depressed years ago.She saw me calling Maddix while I was sleeping. She saw how much I want to go back to the Philippines; one of the reason ay dahil subra akong nakukunsensya, but she knows there is also another reason why I want to go to the Philippines. I told mom that I love Maddix when I really couldn't take it anymore, when I almost lost myself dahil nakunan ako. Napabayaan at nawala sa'kin yung sana magiging anak namin ni Maddix."Hindi mo naman na sana ginawa iyon," malumanay na sambit Maddix pagkapasok niya sa kwarto ko.Napasimangot ako. "What? M
60Halos malaglag ang panga ko sa gulat nang nakita ko si Jero at Kaye na magkayakap habang naliligo sa dagat. Bumaba kami dahil ilang beses na tumawag si Bella sa'kin, hinahanap kami, ayoko pa sana at gusto naming manatili na lang sa kwarto, but I know Bella very well. Ayoko naman na madatnan niya kami ni Maddix na nakahiga sa kama no!"Ano? Kaye pa?" Biglang tanong ni Maddix sa tabi ko habang natatawa, mukhang napansin niya na rin kung saan ako nakatingin."Anong? Bakit? Huh? Teka! Anong nangyayare?" Tanong ko at natigil na sa paglalakad. "Obviously. Kaye is Jero's girlfriend now, so don't be jealous of Kaye, okay? Don't also include her in our conversation," he said before pulling me to get closer to where Bella and others were sitting, where we were sitting earlier."Bakit ang bilis niyo naman atang maligo sa dagat?" Tanong agad ni Bella, pero masyado na akong ukopado habang nakatingin pa rin kila Jero.Ghad? What is really happening? Paano?"Can anyone enlighten me? What the hec
61Wala akong nagawa kung hindi sumama pauwi kila mama. I don't want to, and I really don't plan to stand up to what she wants me to do, but Maddix has already talked to me. He really wants to please Mama. I really want to talk to Mom right now about her behavior, but Maddix's words are really making me stop.What am I? Bata ba ang tingin niya sa'kin? Why did she have to do this? I just glanced outside, habang ang mga Tito at Tita ko ay subrang busy sa pag-uusap tungkol sa natapos na kasal. When we were already in our house, I literally ignored Mama when she tried to talk to me. I know I'm being rude, but I really can't believe what she is doing right now.Huwag niyang gamitin na excuse na si Maddix ang dahilan kung bakit namatay si Papa. It was already clear na walang kasalanan si Maddix. Papa did it by himself. Kagaya ko ay nagpalinlang ito kay Tito Alfredo. "Aliyah!" Tawag ni mama, pero tuloy-tuloy pa rin ang pag-akyat ko sa hagdan.Pagpasok ko sa bahay ay siya namang pagtunog ng
62"But why him, Aliyah? Of all people, bakit siya ulit?" Mom gave me a serious expression after that."Do you really think he can still trust you after what you did? Sinira mo siya. Sinira mo ang pangalan niya, lumayo ka pa nga diba? So why him? Ang iniisip ko lang naman ay kung bakit sa dami ng lalake ay bumalik ka pa sa kanya? Paano kung plano lang pala lahat ng ito? What if he is just doing this to get revenge for what you did to him years ago? Huh? Sasaktan ka lang niya para makapaghiganti sayo. Iiwan ka sa era pagkatapos ka niyang ubusin," tuloy-tuloy na niyang sambit at napatayo na rin.Nagtaas baba ang kanyang paghinga."What if sa pagkakataon na ito ay ikaw na ang masira? Ikaw na ang sirain niya? No. I will never give him a chance to do that. Subra na ang pinagdaan mo years ago, Anak. Hindi ka man nakulong gaya niya at hindi man muntik masira ang kompanya mo gaya niya, pero naghirap ka rin. Nakunan ka sa kakaisip sa lalakeng 'yun! Ni hindi kita makausap ng matino, you always
63That day was so good for me. Mama didn't really like Maddix for me, but her saying that she would respect Maddix as my boyfriend made me so happy that day.Tinapos ko ang niluluto kong adobo. It's been a weeks since that day at dahil day off ko ngayon, plano kong pumunta sa opisina ni Maddix. Hindi niya alam na ngayon ang day off ko, kaya wala siyang kaalam-alam na may plano akong pumunta ngayon sa opisina niya. Gusto ko lang talaga siyang isurprise.He always makes time to go to the hotel para magkita kami, so this time, ako naman ang pupunta sa kanya.I took the food container and put what I cooked in it. I also got another food container for our rice, and after that, I took off my apron. Mom was sitting while she was sipping juice.Pagkatapos nang usapan namin, hindi na kailanman nagpasok si Mama ng tungkol sa ibang lalake sa usapan. Hinayaan niya rin kapag pumupunta na si Maddix dito, and right now, she knows that I am cooking right now for Maddix. Wala siyang sinabi at hinayaa
64Instead of answering him, I just kissed him again. I felt that he was really already angry right now, but he still kissed me carefully. Punong-puno pa rin ng pag-iingat ang bawat paghalik niya sa'kin. He pulled away again when he touched the nipple tape I was wearing."And what's this? Fuck! What's this fucking thing, Aliyah? Damn it! You are making me fucking crazy!" He said that, still angry, before removing the nipple tape I was wearing and lowering himself. I held on to the edge of the table to gain strength when he pinched me and put one of my nipples in his mouth. I held one hand on his head for support.Nakagat ko ng mariin ang labi ko at hindi maiwasang mapapikit, hinayaan ang sariling maramdaman ang bawat pagsipsip niya.I was amazed and couldn't help but moan when he sucked it like a baby."Maddix," I moaned when his right hand moved again. Hinaplos niya ako hanggang sa marating pinakibabang parte ng katawan ko. I couldn't help but hold him very tight when he touched the
65 I tried to do that. Don't think about the news we watched. Days, weeks, and months passed, and hindi ko alam kung napapraning lang ba ako o ano. I felt like there was someone watching me from afar. I can't tell others that because I'm not sure. Maybe I'm wrong; maybe it's because I just thought about it often kaya minsan pakiramdam ko may nakatitig na sa'kin. It's been a month since Tito Alfredo was released from jail; maybe Maddix was right that Tito Alfredo will not do anything to make him go back to jail again. I'm just overacting. "Bakit pinagsakluban ka ata ng langit at lupa? Shouldn't you be happy? Finally, Maddix will introduce you to his whole family," Bella said while lying on my bed. Mahaba-haba ang vacation nilang mag-asawa. Kakabalik lang nila galing sa honeymoon at nandito siya kasi hindi ko maiwasang sabihin sa kanya ang sinabi ni Maddix sa'kin last time. Sasabog ata ako sa kaba habang iniisip na haharapin ko ang buong pamilya niya. Subra akomg kinakabahan sa mang-
Leozardo's POV "I love you," I whispered when we were already lying in bed after I had taken her many times. She didn't say anything. She just buried her face in my neck while hugging me. "May lakad pa tayo," I whispered at her. Her dad called us last night. We will go to their house in Makati. I closed my eyes so badly that I thought Daryha had married Vanzeus Guevera. I can't help but think about everything. When I learned that she had already married someone, nawalan na ako ng pag-asa. Akala ko hindi ko na siya mayayakap ng ganito, hindi ko na siya mahahalikan at hindi ko na siya makakasama. "Love," I whispered again. "Pinagod mo ako kaya maghintay ka," masungit na sambit nito, pero mahigpit naman ang yakap niya sa'kin. Natawa ako at hinila siya para mas mayakap ko. The first time I laid my eyes on her when we were still studying, I said to myself that she would be mine, even though I knew that she liked Jerico. Everyone knows that she likes Jerico, but maybe she feels that
Wakas is waving!!!_________________________________________Takot pa rin akong umuwi sa Pilipinas. Nag-aalala ako na baka makita ko si Mommy at ang asawa niyo. Hindi pa rin akong handang makita sila, pero alam ko na dapat kong harapin ang mga nangyare sa nakaraan.It's been a month since Leozardo knew about Kent. We moved into his condo, and dad allowed us because that's what I wanted. Dad, Tita Geva, and Van also went back last Sunday to the Philippines. In a month, Leo and I both did not work. We spend our time together with Kent.I already talked to James and president. Sa totoo lang wala na akong contract sa kanila. I'm just continuing to work as a model, pero wala ng contract. I told them the truth: I want to spend my time with the father of my son and my son.The president and James got shocks when they learned that Leozardo Luenco was the father of Kent.Sa isang buwan namin dito ay kapansin-pansin ang palaging pagtawag ng pamilya niya kay Leozardo. They want Leozardo to go ba
WARNING! 18+ ONLY! ____________________________________________ Tita helped me cook after that, and Manang apologized more times nang madatnan kami at nakitang kami pa ang nagluto. Tita and I just say na hindi naman niya kailangang humingi ng pasensya. Mas naunang dumating si Daddy, kasunod niya lang sila Leo at Kent. Napangiti ako nang makita ang masiglang tawa ni Kent nang papasok na sila ni Leo. "Papasok ka, Anak?" Tanong ni Dad habang nilalagay namin ni Tita ang ilang mga niluto namin. Napansin ko ang pagsulyap sa'kin ni Leo na animo'y hinihintay din ang sagot ko. "Oo, dad. Ilang araw akong absent at kahapon ay hindi ko pa tinapos ang trabaho ko buong araw," sambit ko. "Kung ganoon ay?" Napasulyap si Dad kay Leo. I bit my lower lips. "It's fine if you stay here for Kent habang nasa trabaho ako," alanganin kong sambit kay Leo. Hindi agad ito nagsalita, pero napansin ko na para bang may gusto itong sabihin. Nagpakawala muna siya ng buntong hininga bago tumango. "Okay, th
46 "Let's talk about what you meant a while ago," he said gently and a little weakly while burying his face in my neck. "It's not necessary. Let's not talk about it--" "I want us to talk about it, Love. I want to know what's on your mind," he said quickly, not letting me finish what I had to say. Bumuntong hininga ako bago sabihin ang nasa isip ko. "I just don't want you to decide this fast. I want you to take your time thinking kung ano talaga ang nararamdaman mo. Mamaya hindi ka pala sigurado at gusto mo lang na mabigyan ng buong pamilya si Kent, well I also want to give Kent a complete family, but I don't want to be selfish towards you at ikulong ka sa responsibilidad mo kay Kent. Hinding-hindi kita ikukulong," malumanay na sambit ko. Narinig ko ang malalim na buntong hininga niya. Kumalas siya sa pagkakayakap sa'kin at iniharap niya ako sa kanya. "Ayos lang sayo kung magpakasal ako sa ibang babae?" Tanong nito sa'kin habang titig na titig sa mata ko. Para niya akong b
45Leo was the first to stop crying. He was even able to stop Kent from crying. He talks to him, and Kent seems to know what Leo is talking about. I cannot resist staring at them, especially Leo. I know that he will be a good father."Papa," Si Leo habang tinuturuan si Kent na banggitin iyon."Pap.. pa," Hirap na sambit ni Kent. Titig na titig si Kent sa ama at subrang attentive sa sinasabi ng ama niya.We are all in the sala. We are all sitting. No one talks, and we are all staring. Kent and Leo na para bang may sarili silang mundo."Pap...pa!" Ulit pa ni Kent habang tumatawa na at nagagawa pang pumalakpak."Yes, baby. I'm your papa," Leo said tl Kent.We remained on the sofa until Kent fell asleep in Leo's hand. When Leo fell asleep, I stood up to take Kent, but Leo didn't want to give him to me."Ilalagay ko siya sa kwarto namin," sambit ko, pero umiling ito."I still want to hold him," mariin na sambit niya kaya napabuntong hininga ako."Pero baka mangalay ka---""It's fine," sery
44Masaya ako, pero alam kong may kulang, pero sino ako para hilingin na mapunan ang kulang? We are going to talk, right? Then fine. What I want right now is for him to know about Kent. Kung noon ay medyo takot akong sabihin kasi baka mag duda siya lalo dahil wala itong maalala noon, ngayon ay sigurado akong hindi siya mag dududa. He knows what happened that night. He knows na siya lang at alam niyang nagsisinungaling si Joseph Vuenavista."He is the reason I endured everything that happened in my life these past few years. He is my everything. He saved me when I was so down and broke." dugtong ko.I saw him staring at his glass. Napansin ko ang malalim na pag-iisip niya. Pati ang pagseseryoso niya ay namimiss ko. Nakakainis! Kanina lang ay subra akong naiirita sa kanya."Ikaw? Are you happy right now?" Hindi pa siya nakakasagot ay muli ko iyong dinugtungan. "Of course you are, right? But I want to ask you, is it Danica? or some other girl?"Hindi man lang nagbago ang expression. Ser
43"Mr. Luenco, what do you think are you doing?" Tanong ko, pero nahimigan ko ang sariling gulat sa boses ko.He didn't speak, nagpumiglas ako para mabitiwan, but a car suddenly parked in front of us. The same driver I saw last time got out of that car."Ano ba? Ano ba 'to?" Nagtatakang tanong ko sa kanya at patuloy na tinatanggal ang kamay niya sa palapulsuan ko."Pumasok ka," mariin na sambit niya."N-No! What is this, Mr. Luenco? You think it's nice to pull someone like this? And you think sasama ako sayo? Makakarating ito kay President!" Iritang sambit ko. "Let's talk," seryoso nitong sambit na ikinatawa ko."Bakit kailangan ako? You had a girl beside you a while ago! Kung gusto mo ng kausap, pwede naman siya! Bakit kailangan mo pa akong hilahin!" "I said let's talk, Ryha!" Bulyaw niya na nagpatigil sa'kin.Pareho kaming natahinik sa biglaang tinuran niya. Napapikit siya at bumuntong hininga."Please, let's talk," mas malumanay na sambit na niya.Ayokong paasahin ang sarili kon
42I did what he said. Right in front of him, I called Van and told him that he didn't have to pick me up, but Van said he would still come. He said that I would go with James and the president to the place, but we would go home together. Doon na raw kami magkikita.Tudo tingin ako sa side mirror, malinaw ko kasing nakikita ang kotse ni Leo na nakasunod sa amin."Really, mom? That's good, so we can be able to have our photoshoot in there hotel," I just glanced at James when I heard his happy words to the President."I was really shocked why he suddenly offered his hotels in the Philippines, but well, business is business, and he will have benefits if he lends us his hotels," sambit naman ni President.Philippines? Mukhang napansin ni James ang pagtataka ko sa usapan nila nang sulyapan niya ako sa front mirror ng kotse."This is the project that will be held in the Philippines, and we're lucky that Mr. Luenco offered his hotel. If you don't know, Mr. Luenco is a billionaire. His hotel
41"Daryha, let's go." I heard a serious voice. James diverted his attention to Van, as did Leo and Levi, who both glanced at Van.Hindi na ako nagdalawang isip. Tumayo ako at pilit na ngumiti kila James at Levi. It was hard for me to look straight into his eyes, but I did my best to do that. I smiled at him. He just stared at me blankly, na para bang ni minsan ay hindi niya sinabing mahal niya ako.Nanikip ang dibdib ko at pinigilan ang nagbabadyang luha sa mata ko. Nag-iwas ako ng tingin at naglakad para malapitan si Van. "We go first, James. I'm sorry," paumanhin ni Van kila James."Stay a little bit, Van," sinubukan pang kumbinsihin ni Levi si Van, pero pakoramdam ko ay gusto na rin talagang umalis ni Van.Tumayo naman si James at niyakap ako and say his goodbye. Aalis na sana kami, pero mabilis kaming pinigilan ni James."Oh, I'm sorry. By the way, before you two go, I want to introduce Mr. Leozardo Luenco to you, Van. Mr. Luenco, this is Vanzeus Guevera," pakilala nito."Oh. I