"A few hours. Grant was there earlier and I stayed later to keep playing.""Did you..." Aspen waves her hand in the air. "You know... in the bedroom?""Did we have sex, Aspen? No." I roll my eyes at her continued refusal to say sex in public."Make out?" She leans forward in her chair waiting for my answer."Nope." It's an honest reply. Last night's kiss was definitely not a make out."Hmmm." She examines me, looking for a crack in my story I'm sure. "Did you fall asleep next to him while playing?""Um... no. I went home and slept in my own bed." I quirk an eyebrow at her knowing full well it drives her nuts because she can't do it.I circle the group with my eyes waiting for the next girl to shout out a question — Amanda's known for her random outbursts — but they're quiet. Someone should write this down. It's a first for us.Aspen turns her conspicuous look from me long enough to take a bite of her French toast and settles back on the couch all nonchalant, but I know
Scott opens the passenger door to his silver Accord and takes my single crutch, throwing it in the back seat. He's a native to the Bay Area, so the fifty-degree weather is cold but bearable as he wears a thick fleece. He eyes my jacket, hat, and gloves as we buckle in, but I only shrug. I'm not as bad as Aspen, but I'm still from southern California — fifty is chilly."Thanks for the ride today. The cab bill to Hunter's Point would have killed me."Once a year our company selects a week where various teams go out into the community and volunteer. This year my department picked the San Francisco Community Center for Youth all the way out in Hunter's Point. When I voted on the location, I lived in Oakland with a car. Now the distance feels astronomical."No problem, Marissa. I feel partially responsible for your ankle, so it's the least I can do." Scott turns into traffic, but I keep my head down and don't look at anyone on the sidewalk in fear I'll see Ryland.True to his word,
Soft music greets me as I step off Ryland's elevator later in the day. Classical if I had to guess, but I've never been into the finer arts and couldn't tell you who. Someone long dead probably.Halfway down his short hallway, the smell of cooking meat and sauce mixes in with the notes from a piano solo from speakers positioned throughout the condo."Beethoven?" I give it my best guess.He stands with his back turned in his kitchen. "No, Bach," he answers and I shrug. I know a limited number of dead composers.I toss my purse on the side table I've claimed as mine over the last few days and grab my mail. Ryland's started picking it up for me since it saves me a trip to the lobby. Don't give me any crap. It's no big deal. Just Ryland's way to make life easier on me. It's not like I've grown to enjoy the almost couple-ish routine we've found ourselves in the past few days. Not at all.This week's been calm. I haven't walked in on any more rowing, but on Tuesday I caught Ryland
A timer beeps from the side of the refrigerator and Ryland leans over to shut it off. "Okay, noodles are finished. Another ten minutes or so and we'll eat." He moves the pan to the other side of the stove and turns down the burner."You'll like Clare and she'll let you meet as much as you want with the kids. She said the whole program is yours." I try to sweeten the idea of volunteering with the scary teenagers.Back at his place on the counter, he grins. "Yes, I suppose. As long as you weren't planning to try and set me up with her.""No. Trust me I'd never set you up on a blind date." And not only because the idea of Ryland dating someone is my worst nightmare. "Blind dates are horrible. I'd never inflict that pain on anyone else.""Speaking from experience, huh?""Unfortunately, yes and I can't tell my friends because they think I'm too picky.""Well are you?" he questions."Of course not. The last one had nothing to do with me. He was terrible." I reposition my seat o
I am a genius. Pure genius.When I offered up Ryland's extensive soccer skills to Clare for the youth center, I wanted to help find him a hobby, a little motivation to get out of the house. Not once did I take in to account what this agreement could offer me. I didn't set out for payback, but pay back it did. In the form of a shirtless and sweaty Ryland. It's the best form of compensation possible.Twenty minutes into his hour-long session with the kids, he unzipped his fleece jacket and threw it on the ground beside the same folding chair I used last week. Being able to stare at him in the tight fitting shirt was enough to make me happy, but then ten minutes later he called a time out. On the side of the gym, he whipped his white t-shirt over his head exposing his chest and a set of wonderful ab muscles. Shiny grey basketball shorts and a pair of sneakers are the only clothing obstructing my view of his fine body. It makes me sit up straight and suck in my own small gut. I need to
I will not turn into a major dork with Ryland. I will keep my cool regardless of my feelings for the tall blue-eyed soccer forward. With a deep breath I walk to the front of Ryland's condo door. My chant on repeat with each step.It's been a few hours since we returned after his first session at the youth center, but I've spent most of my afternoon locked away in my apartment. With dinner looming I've decided to make the first move and invite myself over for what's become our Saturday evening ritual of video games and food. It's part of my act natural game plan.His door's unlocked as it's been since the first day I used his elevator, but I should still knock. A friend would knock, right? Of course I've never knocked before. If I start now, he might figure out something is off with my behavior. Shut up, Marissa. Don't overthink shit again. I'm going in... no knocking.I crack his door and slide in through the opening. When I lift my head ready to do my obligatory call out of h
"Is that so?" he questions with sarcasm. "She needs to exercise caution. I've heard her landlord's a real asshole.""Eh, turns out she thinks he's not as bad as people make him out to be." I roll with it excited Ryland's playing along with my banter."Probably because she's so cute and cuddly..." I squint at him, but he continues on down his dangerous path. "Like a... kitten."I smack my lips together to accept his challenge, the sound bouncing off the kitchen appliances, but it only causes his grin to widen. "Actually Simone's the cute and cuddly one. I'm more known for my claws."He snorts in answer and then speaks under his breath. "Yeah like a kitten's claws, maybe." If I could be one of those sharks with laser eyes, he'd be in trouble. As it is, my death glare only makes him smile, his white teeth on full display. "You don't frighten me, Marissa."I place a hand on my hip and pop it out the best I can while sitting on a stool. "Maybe you don't know me well enough.""Do
A woman laughs down the hall and the high horse-like sound rips my attention from the sales spreadsheets laid out on my desk. Sheila, a second-floor secretary neighs again, the sound distinguishable as only her. Its carnival day. The office's reward for the work in the community last week. I should be out laughing with my coworkers but instead I'm feigning work for a few quiet moments alone with my thoughts. Quiet being relative when Sheila's in the vicinity.The problem isn't Sheila or her horse laugh. The problem is me.I had sex with Ryland.Soccer super star Ryland Bates.It didn't start out as sex, but after an hour of heavy petting, we couldn't stop the progression. I didn't want to. The sex isn't the problem. I enjoyed that... immensely, but what do I do now? Do we do it again? Start a relationship? Act like it never happened? Why is this being an adult shit so hard?I snicker at my own innuendo and then hit my head on my desktop without enough force to do any damage.
Six months later"I thought you were painting this room silver?" Hudson asks dropping his half of the couch inside of our brand-new tiny living room. That's not fair. It's bigger than the apartment when I lived with Marissa. Living here will be like me having my own special mansion. Except this time the rent is higher.I put my end of the couch down and then promptly sit at the end of it. I've done my part of moving. This is why we hired movers. I don't know what it is about men wanting to lift heavy objects. Plus, it's not like there's much furniture to move. The old apartment came furnished. This stuff is new.I look at the wall, which shimmers in the bright light from our large open window in the new living room. "I did. It's Silver Fox.""This color is gray.""No, it's Silver Fox.""It looks gray to me."I shake my head in dismay. "Gray is darker."He nods slowly. "Uh-huh. Whatever you say."Hudson and I have been living together since he made the permanent move t
A few weeks later"Wow, Finn hooked you up." My eyes blink a few times trying to adjust to the overpowering glare of so many television screens in one room.Hudson laughs as he steps behind me. "Ridge taught me you can never have too many cameras.""Well, you definitely put his words into practice." No less than thirty flat screen TVs line a wall in the room Finn and Hudson started calling the war room. I'm pretty sure Finn has a camera everywhere Aspen may go in San Francisco. There is even one in the comic shop. The transition has gone well for the most part. Finn and Aspen had a heated debate over her bodyguard situation.Once Hudson accepted the position, he didn't waste time. It's been less than three weeks and he has a war room set up and is spying on half the residents of the city. My man gets shit done."Are you happy?" I ask turning around so we are face to face.Hudson rolls his eyes and says something silently to the ceiling of the room. He's recently taken up pr
The glass automatic door at the airport entrance slides open and I saunter in with a purpose. No woman has ever been as determined as I am to put a man in his place. Full Marissa style.And then maybe win him back. It depends on his response. I've been through tons of shit the last few weeks. I need someone who can handle me and won't chicken out.Aspen and Finn checked me out of the hospital and then took me back to my apartment making me promise I wouldn't leave when I asked to be alone. My mother even listened when I told her it was a great time to visit my brother in Washington. He'll love it.Besides my shattered heart, I'm medically fine. There's no reason for people to be stuck hovering around me. Hurt or not, I've still peopled too much these last few days, so it wasn't hard to press that I needed quiet time. I promised to head right into bed and sleep for a few more days.But I've broken many promises lately. And kept secrets. I am not the same girl I was last year. An
I hate to be a bad friend — who am I kidding, I'm always the bad friend — but Aspen could not have picked a worse time to make her visit. And I love her. She was here all day yesterday. Getting water, refilling water, fluffing my pillow and accidentally pulling on my IV before doing it again while apologizing for pulling on the IV. Hudson and I haven't had two minutes to ourselves. I tried to fake sleep yesterday afternoon, but then they stood around the bed looking and me and whispering."Do you need your pillow fluffed?" she asks for the thousandth time. It's become her filler question. What she asks me if she doesn't know what else to ask.I shake my head, giving Finn my best "calm her down" look, but he doesn't notice. He's so madly in love with Aspen he thinks everything she does is adorable. "I'm fine, Aspen. Relax."My best friend is definitely more put together than Hudson in the last two days, but not by much. Her hair is flat on one side, a little curly on the other, an
A STEADY STREAM of beeps wakes me up to a stream of light.A hospital. It's the place I've woken up the last two days. I can't complain. It's one hundred times better than a concrete floor in an abandoned factory in Oakland. Even still I fight the panic as my brain comes into consciousness. The hospital therapist says eventually there will come a day when I don't wake up ready to flee, but I'm not sure I believe her.My awake body is heavy and sluggish. Yesterday I spent most the day sleeping as my conscious mind worked around what happened after I was taken from the sidewalk in front of Cosmo's.Hudson was shot. I watched it with my own eyes. What I didn't know at the time was the bullet grazed the side of his body and most of his injury was due to the shock of being shot. Even though my mind didn't want to believe it at the time, he led the charge to rescue me. And yes, he absolutely shot Jimmy in the head — a scene I never ever want to see again, but one that plays on repeat e
Breathe. I hit reality with a start. Tears form as I blink my eyes to open them. My shoulder hurts, a tingling stiff sensation like I slept on it wrong. At one point I must have broken out in a cold sweat and my skin is clammy, moist yet chilled. My knuckle scrapes the hard ground underneath my body as I sit up and the events of what happened flood back. It wasn't a bad dream. I've been taken right from the front of Cosmo's. Kidnapped.They shot Hudson.I have no idea how long I slept or where I am. No longer in the van, the room is dark around me and it takes longer than I want for my eyes to adjust. Of course, there's no positive to be found when they do. Sawdust and dirt smells permeate the air. On the ground there's not only cold hard concrete but sharp pieces of wood. I wipe a few from my pants legs only to have them stick to the skin of my fingers.As I try to stand, there's a clink of metal. I tug my foot to find it doesn't move. My leg is bolted to the ground with thick m
"Are you sure you won't walk in there and start crying?" Hudson asks as we stop in front of Cosmo's Comics and Café.I take a deep breath and check myself before I answer because frankly he's probably right to be worried. It's been two days since we met with Drew at the restaurant in Oakland and I spent most of that night crying. I haven't talked to anyone since then. More than likely they think I've been taking this time to apologize to Hudson. He promises he's forgiven and forgotten and even understands why it took so long.Hudson spent the last few days consoling me as I came to terms with finally admitting what happened that night and saying goodbye to Drew if only in my own mind. He's been perfect. He didn't push or yell at me to do it faster or tell me I was being ridiculous. He listened and held me when I needed him. I couldn't ask for a better man.Hudson is everything I've ever wanted in a guy. Sensitive enough to figure out when I'm hurting, but strong enough to tell me
"That's your answer?" Hudson's eyebrows lift.I hit my knee against his. "Hudson."He sighs in agitation."Well, Drew, the way I look at it Amanda doesn't have much to tell. It sounds to me as if in her story you were a friend who was there to help her out. Who didn't want to get involved in a police investigation. But before I can trust her opinion that you're a nice guy, I need proof."Drew laughs even though it's inappropriate for the time. "I don't think I'm a nice guy, but thanks, Amanda.""Um, you're welcome?""I started working construction jobs part time when Clare and I were in foster care." He stops talking right as the story gets good."But you don't do construction work now, do you?" Hudson asks the exact question I've been thinking.It's like pulling teeth to get facts out of Drew, but what he doesn't understand is Hudson will have no qualms telling Ben if he's not satisfied with his answers."Yes and no. From time to time my boss asks me for extra favors
"Sorry, Dean, I've got to get home. Lots of Christmas prep to do."There's no time to chase another raid with so much work to do for Aspen's Christmas celebration. They overdo it for most holidays, but the big ones are the worst.He nods, accepting the answer. I rarely take him up on offers for more raiding or the hundred times he's asked me out for coffee. "Okay, see you next time." He waves, following a large group of people making their way to cars and bikes before heading toward the wharf.I step onto the sidewalk outside the baseball stadium to look for a cab. The road is eerily quiet since there isn't baseball in December and the people from the raid snatched up the cabs. Even though Grant, Clare's boyfriend would kill me, I scroll through my phone and find the Uber app. If I have to call for a ride anyway, I should at least make it a cheap one. He'd be pissed over how close I am to his neighborhood without someone here with me, but it's too late to worry about that now.