8. Destined

KERRIENNE

He dropped the shirt on the floor, and took a step closer to the tub.  His chest was huge, easily twice the width of mine, if not more.  He reached out and tucked a strand of hair behind my ear, trailing a finger down my cheek.  

He stepped back, and dropped his kilt on the floor, his eyes never leaving mine as he approached the tub.  My heart was beating so fast and so loud, I was sure that everyone in the entire keep could hear it.  My gaze swept his body from head to toe and back again.  Every inch of him was covered in muscles.  

His chest was smooth and tanned.  I couldn’t help but look down, his stomach was hard and cut up into squares.  My gaze continued down, taking in his belly button.  It was covered with a fine dusting of hair that got thicker the further down it went.  He had a perfect V at his waist.  His legs looked like hairy tree trunks corded with muscles...  And he was hard as a rock.  Tan had to be his natural skin color because his entire body was tan. 

For the first time that I could remember, I wanted to give myself to a man.  This wanting, this desire, I've felt it before.  Not as myself but as someone else.  Someone other than me but who is also me…  I shook my head, trying to clear away the confusion I was feeling.  And watched in a daze as Emrick/Johan got into the tub and sat down, sloshing water onto the floor. 

He reached towards the floor, into a bowl for a bar of soap, lathered up his hands and reached for me.  He grabbed me by the waist.  His move was so unexpected, I fell forward and ended up between his knees, my hands braced against his chest. 

He reached his soapy hands towards my neck, and I scurried back and fell.  My bruised body screaming at the sudden movement, my head hitting…  his hand?  I opened my eyes and looked straight into his.  He was crouched over me, one hand cradling my neck as the other held on to the side of the tub, his face inches from mine.  His blood red eyes flashed with intelligence and arcane power. 

He leaned in and kissed me breathless.  He growled into the kiss and I responded with a moan of my own, opening my mouth, giving him access to my tongue.  He fell back, taking me with him.  I wound my fingers into his hair and kissed him back, giving in to the desire I was feeling for him.  I could feel his manhood twitching against my buttocks as I straddled his thighs.  I should stop this before it goes any further.  Stop him from going any further.  But his hands moved up and down my back kneading my aching muscles and I sighed more deeply into the kiss, bringing my body closer to his.  I continued kissing him as one hand gently held me against his chest while the other snaked in between our bodies. 

He was touching me where no one has dared touch me before.  I was about to stop him when his fingers found the nub and I threw my head back in a silent scream.  He cupped me and ground his hand against me.  I clutched his shoulders with shaking fingers as he inserted a finger in my body.  

I seemed to have no control over my body as all thoughts flew out of my head.  His finger began making a flicking motion, concentrating on one sweet spot.  I grabbed his head and brought his lips back to mine, screaming into the kiss as my body trembled and shook from the pleasure I was experiencing.  He withdrew his finger as my body continued to shake and spasm from this newfound discovery.  He grabbed my hips and I felt myself being lifted.  There was a questioning look in his red eyes as he started to lower me onto his lap, but I just couldn’t seem to think straight.

Awareness slammed  back into my body and at the last minute, I grabbed  his shoulders, barely holding myself up above his body.  I shook my head no, inches from being impaled on his shaft.  He cursed under his breath as his eyes changed back to blue.  He released me slowly and I scurried to the other side of the huge tub.  I wrapped my arms around my shaking body, breathing haggardly. 

I watched from my corner of the tub as he washed himself, his eyes downcast.  He lathered himself up and stood, reached for a clean bucket of water and poured it over his head, still avoiding my gaze.  I crouched in the corner, watching him suspiciously, still shaking from the tremors going through my body.   He got out and with one hand, stood me upright and started washing my body.  I was shocked, aroused and mortified all at the same time.  So many emotions running through me, I could barely discern one from the other.  My legs felt like jelly.  My senses returned as he moved his soapy hand up my inner thigh.  I squeezed my legs together, trapping his hand, stopping him just before he reached my sex. 

He looked up at me, a look of confusion on his face.  I could feel myself blushing.  He shrugged and handed me the soap.  I lathered up my hands and gave him back the soap.  He dropped it back into the bowl and picked up another bucket of clean water and looked at me questioningly. 

“Turn around.”  I said, suddenly feeling shy. 

He smirked and turned his back.  I quickly soaped myself and said  “ok”

He turned back to me and slowly poured the bucket of water over my head.  After pouring a second bucket, he lifted me out of the tub and placed me down gently.  He handed me a towel to dry myself.  I watched from under my lashes as he dried himself and got dressed.  I stood with the towel tightly wrapped around me, unsure of what to do next.  

He approached me with the black dress draped over one arm.  I took a step back.   I'm not afraid of him.  I told myself.  I'm just confused by all the emotions going through me right now.  How can I know someone I've only just met?  Or better yet, how can I love someone I've only just met. 

The old midwife that delivered me was a soothsayer. She told my parents that I was destined for great things.  I thought that meant becoming a warrior and leading my people into a new era. 

My clan had no concept of male and female separation.  As long as you could hold your own, you could hold any status within the clan.  Your anatomy didn't matter.  I'd sworn to remain untouched and lead my clan into the future.  A future only I could see. 

But I almost laid with him.  Now here I stood, memories of this life and another playing in my head side by side.  I looked at his beautiful face, and I could see Johan and I could see Emrick. 

I looked into his eyes, and before I could stop myself, the words came tumbling out, “This is not my body. This flesh I'm in… it’s….  it's all wrong.” 

Emrick cocked his head to the side and stared at me silently, intently, like he was trying to see inside my head.  I shook my head, took the dress from him and hugged it to my chest.

“Come to the hall when you're done.”  He said gently.