Prologue

Prologue

Lilly's POV

Today is the day.

You know, the day.

The one I was waiting for since I accidentally opened an - ahem - a very restricted webpage. It was an accident. I swear. It's not like I was seven years old, searching on my iPad, "Where do babies come from?" after my dad told me that he picked me up from Walmart and is planning on returning me back.

It's not like my mother told me that babies come after you hug someone and I went around my school hugging every boy in sight but never got pregnant. It's not like that at all.

Okay. Maybe it was exactly like that.

What can I say, I was a curious kid. When I wanted answers, I went around searching everywhere till I found them.

My first thought was that babies came from a****n. I remember asking Alexa to order me a baby. I think my question confused her because right the next day, she broke down. I try to think of it as an accident, last thing I want is a machine-killing guilt on my conscious. Anyway, I knew I had to depend on myself after, so I secretly went on my dad's laptop, and ordered a bunch of -- what I thought were babies. Two days later, a package came with dolls. Lots of dolls.

That was my first disappointment ever, considering I was never a fan of dolls.

So, I threw them all in the trash to hide away the evidence of my crime.

Somehow, dad figured out that I spent a couple of thousand dollars from his account to buy a bunch of useless expensive dolls just to throw them away.

Yup, he was mad.

Not for too long though, considering my puppy eyes and tears always worked on him, which in its turn, drove my mother mad; she scolded him for being easy on me and gave me a three-hour long lecture about the less fortunate people who didn't even have money for food and all that...I don't even know how she ended up there. My mom talks a lot. Don't know where she gets it from.

Anyway, that's when the hug-theory emerged. Just like "Earth is flat," this theory too didn't pay out.

After some research, the kiss-theory demanded some testing. Unfortunately, that too ended up in failure. I remember when my little brother kissed me goodnight that day, I thought I was gonna have baby. I couldn't sleep all night. That was the scariest day of my life.

Now, you're wondering why I placed all that effort to get a baby. Well, I wanted a little sister. Having a male sibling is no fun. Not at all. I hated that annoying spoiled little shit. I wanted a female sibling so we can double team him.

I asked my dad to get me a sister, considering he never says no to anything I ask for, but that was a first and I recall his answer was literally that -- he didn't want another broken condom in his life.

That's when I searched, "What's a condom?"

And link after link, after link. I ended up on that special website.

Imagine my disappointment when I realized that -- that how babies are made. I was traumatized. I did not want a little sister anymore. Whenever my dad and mom would close the bedroom door, I'd go in and stop anything from happening. I didn't want a sister that would come out of something disgusting like that.

Thinking about it now, that gotta be the reason why my dad wanted to return me back to Walmart.

Anyway, that phase was bound to end. Teenage-hood arrived and for some reason, I started to...like boys. Like, like actually like them. I used to punch them whenever they annoyed me, I could no longer do that...or maybe I still could sometimes.

I used to tackle them to ground while playing soccer, I couldn't do that anymore, they'll be things touching.

Then, I came across few books, you know, some novels about....Okay, maybe I don't need to specify the genre. But that's when I realized that what I once saw is not as disgusting as it looked. Turns out, it's fun and pleasurable.

So yeah, that summarizes the journey of my life.

Wait, I mean the sixteen years of my life.

So, where was I, again?

Hold on, how did I end up here?

Oh yeah...like I was saying, today is the day.

Now, don't get your dirty minds worked up. No one is having sex today. Well, except my parents probably. Considering dad never shuts up about it.

Ugh, I know, Ewww.

But today is the day I will lose my lip's virginity. Yup, I'll be having my first kiss. On my sixteenth birthday, with the guy I've been crushing on since ever. Maybe...maybe that could lead to something more, maybe, who knows.

A weird tingling feeling rose in my stomach. I definitely won't mind that.

"Lilly, we're leaving!" Mom said loudly from downstairs, "Where are you?"

"Hold on, I am coming." I said before I turned off my curling iron and placed it aside to cool off. I gently ran my fingers in my curls, untangling them a bit and giving them a more natural look. I stared at my reflection in the mirror and a satisfied smile curved my lips. I look ready to be kissed.

I tried not to exaggerate my makeup but somehow I ended up with a winged eyeliner, combined with a bit of mascara that made my already long lashes longer. Then I tried to brighten up my pale white skin with some blush and highlighter and lastly, not to forget the apologetically bright classic red lipstick. Yup, that was my favorite. I think that's a habit I took off my mom.

I applied last minutes touches before I rushed downstairs to catch them before leaving. Once I landed on the first floor, my eyes fell on Max, lazily slumped over the couch, air-pods in his ear and eyes on his phone.

"Hey, squirt!" I said loudly but no response came. I let out a frustrated sigh before I walked to his side and snatched the air-pods from his ear.

His green eyes shot up to me, "Hey!" He snapped, annoyed.

My eyebrow raised, "What do you think you're doing here?" I asked, "Get your ass off this couch and leave, my friends will be here soon."

He rolled his eyes, "I am not going anywhere." He mumbled and looked back at his phone, totally ignoring me.

Ugh. Told you he is an annoying little shit.

On cue, mom and dad walked into the room. I immediately turned on my heels and shot out, "Mom, tell Max, we already dealt that he won't be here tonight!"

My mother turned to my stupid excuse of a brother, "Max, come on," She said in her authoritative voice, "We'll drop you at your friend's house on our way."

"Why? Let him stay." Dad said making my eyes widen, he crossed his arms over his chest, "At least, he'll keep an eye on her." He added with a low voice but I heard him.

"Dad!" I whined. He just gave me an innocent shrug in return.

I huffed out a breath, "He will just keep hitting on all my friends," I turned to him and glared, "If he is not leaving, I am!" I added, my tone threatening.

"I like that." Max said, a smile spreading over his lips.

Dad's eyes narrowed at me, "Let the boy have some fun, he won't do anything."

Stay calm, Lilly. Stay calm.

He's your father and you love him. Stay calm.

Breathe in. Breathe out. Phew.

We already agreed that none of them will be here tonight, that was all I asked for as a birthday gift.

Dad and Mom will have a dinner date then they'll head to one of the bed and breakfast not so close by and I won't see them till tomorrow morning, while Max will spend his time at his friend's house and when the party finishes, he can get back. That was the deal until -

"Maybe we should stay too." Dad added again and I wanted to rip my hair off but I remembered how perfect it looked so I decided against that.

Worry clouded his eyes, "What if something happened?" He asked and I shook my head, "Nothing will happen."

He turned to mom, "Cupcakes, let's just stay here," He said, eyes begging her, "There will be boys and stuff.." he whispered the last part in disgust but his voice isn't as low as he thinks, "I mean like actual guys, all hormonal and with dicks and stuff.."

"Dad, I can hear you!" I said, my eyebrow arching as I crossed my arms over my chest.

He looked at me and announced, "That's it, I am staying."

Way to ruin my birthday.

I turned to my mom, my eyes pleading her to do something. She let out an exasperated breath before she gave me the I-got-it-look.

She turned to dad, "Alex," She said ever so sweetly before her hand rested over his back, her mouth beside his ear and she whispered something.

I don't know what it was but it made dad's face turn a hundred-eighty-degree. His lips parted in shock before he muttered a low, "Woah."

Then a very familiar smile crept its way to his lips. He turned to her, "No way I am missing out on that," He said ever so excitedly before he turned around, "Let's go." His hand wrapped around my mother's arm, dragging her along as he muttered loudly, "Have fun, you kids."

Mom gave me a wink before she muttered proudly, "Works like a charm."

I chuckled and went after them to the door to make sure they're actually leaving. Mom slipped into her heels and I took my time to gaze at her whole attire, she wore a really elegant nude dress, her hair all beautifully done, and a bit of makeup that completed her looks. She was so beautiful.

She sweetly kissed my cheek, "Be careful, okay?" She stressed on for the hundredth time today.

I sighed as she fixed the loosened strands of my hair, "Don't do anything I wouldn't do," She warned, her eyebrow raised, "And don't do anything your father would do."

My dad let out an annoyed breath, "Come on, we're getting late." He whined. I wonder what she told him that made him this excited to leave. Actually, knowing my parents, I'd rather not know what.

They bid their goodbye and finally dragged Max out of the living room before they left the house. The door was still opened so I saw my best friend, Aylin, talking with my parents in the driveway before she scurried toward me.

Her eyes twinkled mischievously once she landed on my doorstep, "Gosh, your father is so hot!" She sighed dreamily.

I shuddered at her comment but she carried on, "If he and your mother ever break up, I am so ready to be your new mommy!" She said, ever so normally before she nudged me aside and went into the house.

"Aylin, I'd really hate to kick you out before the party starts!" I threatened, shooting her my murderous glare.

She shrugged innocently and looked around the house before her gaze settled back at me, "Tonight is gonna be so much fun!" She squealed, clapping her hands excitedly.

"Decorations are ready," She commented as she moved around, gazing at everything we arranged today's noon, "Food is ready," She added as she grabbed one of the small burgers and ate it in one bite, "Also," She chewed on her food, "Conner is bringing the alcohol!"

"Forget that now, are you sure they actually broke up?" I asked, my stomach twisting into about fifteen knots.

She nodded, "Yup, everyone is talking about it!" Her grin grew wider, "Also you know how Conner has a major crush on me," She added proudly, flipping her blonde hair in the process, "I asked him and he immediately spilled the beans."

My pulse escalated and I bit my lip nervously. I tried to ease my nerves but couldn't help the way my stomach knotted in anticipation.

Today is the day.

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I walked around the room, smiling at the many guests as they wished me happy birthday, and tried to make small talks here and there.

"You know you are just walking around in circles!" Aylin hissed in my ear, her hand gripping at my arm, dragging me with her toward the foyer.

A scowl slipped onto my face and I sighed in annoyance, "Where is he?" I hissed back, "Almost everyone is here!"

She mumbled something in return but her words blocked out when my gaze drifted to the main door. At his sight, I breathed out a satisfied sigh and my legs scurried toward him so fast.

My hand landed on his arm, grabbing his attention to me. His blue eyes snapped to mine and I immediately shot for my question, "Where is he?"

"Well, hello to you too." Chase answered, his lips curling up in annoyance.

I rolled my eyes, "You know I only invited you so you'd bring him, right?"

His breath washed over my face in a frustrated huff as he edged back a fraction, letting my hand slip away from over his arm, "Sure." He nodded his head to outside, "He's just parking the car."

A fever of nerves raced through me, my senses keening when I realized he's actually here. Oh shit. Oh shit.

I ran my hand in my hair, fixing it, "Okay, how do I look?" I asked Chase and he smiled so brightly, "Ugly as usual."

I shot him a glare and contemplated whether I should kick him out or not. You'd think because we practically grew up together, I'd actually tolerate this guy. But No, Chase was my life-long enemy who I couldn't stand with every fiber in my being.

The feeling was mutual.

He couldn't stand me either. Since our childhood times, he'd always break my things and I'd always punch him on his handsome face in return. Those good old days.

Our parents told me that when I first met him as a child, I slapped him. Seems fitting.

But along the way, I had to try and be civil to him in a way. Reason number one, he was my parent's godchild. Ugh.

"Hey there, birthday girl!" At his voice, every other thought disappeared into thin air and my nerves flared in a way I didn't quite understand. I didn't think I have ever felt so comfortably uncomfortable, like I wanted to bolt and sink into it all at once.

My gaze went to him and a smile spread over my lips, his sight was enough to knock the breath from my lungs, "Hey, Zack!" I said, my voice taking a whole different tone.

Reason number two why I had to tolerate Chase. His cousin. His dangerously hot, older cousin. The one I've been crushing on since as long as I remember.

Why? You may ask. Well, imagine this, he looks like sex dipped in candy and chocolate, sweet as sin, rich and yummy. And I am so gonna taste him tonight.

Chase rolled his eyes at me, totally not interested. I pinched his arm secretly and settled my gaze on Zack. He ran his fingers through his blonde locks and my heart beat even faster. God, he is so hot, I think I am already wet, "How are you?" He asked, his panty-dropping smile flashing across his handsome face.

"I am great actually," I replied, "Glad you could make it."

His eyebrow arched playfully, "Not a one to miss a party."

Chase hefted out an annoyed breath, "I am gonna go get a drink." He mumbled and started to walk away, "Oh wait, me too." Zack said and followed right after.

I let out an annoyed sigh. Way to go.

Fucking Chase.

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"Have you seen Zack?" I whisper-shouted in Aylin's ear, my hand on her arm, stopping her crazy dancing moves.

She was panting, considering she didn't sit down since the party started. She tucked her hair behind her ear, "Nope, hold on." She breathed out.

She looked around searching for someone, before she walked forward and grabbed Conner's arm, making him spill his drink all over the floor at her abrupt action. Great.

Seconds later and she jogged back toward me, "He's in the kitchen," Her smile widened, "It's a chance in a lifetime, you'll finally be alone," She added, excitement twinkled in the green of her eyes and she set her hands on my shoulders, turning me around, "Give it your best shot!"

Determination coursed through my body and I headed toward the kitchen. It's finally the time to get what I want.

A hand on my wrist made me pause in my steps. My flustered eyes flickered to the intruder and met a set of blue eyes. He shook his head, "Don't go in there," He said, more like ordered. His tone was hard but a flash of softness clouded his eyes.

My eyebrows pulled together and I snatched my hand out of his grip, "Stay out of this!" I snapped, bothered by his interference before I turned around and headed back.

One step.

Two steps.

Three steps...and I halted to an abrupt stop by the kitchen's door. The sight that beheld me was like a punch to the stomach.

Zack's hands gripped Chloe's face, his lips on hers, kissing her...in my house.

What the-

My chest tightened, and I fisted my hands on the side as the anger raged. Anger at myself mostly. Aggression curled and coiled my stomach and I squeezed my eyes closed.

A twisted feeling rose up to my throat, scratching. I bit it back and held it in.

It's okay. It's okay. I mumbled to myself.

Without giving them a second look, I turned around and walked back into the room. I pushed between the crowd, the music mixed with everyone's voice and a war lit up in my brain. I pressed my palms over the table and finally, gulped down a breath of air.

I need...I need a distraction. My hand reached out for the nearest alcohols' bottle. Logic and sense fled right out of my brain as I placed the tip to my lips and gulped down the burning liquid.

My stomach twisted at the foreign feeling. My eyebrows scrunched together. It was disgusting

But I needed it.

I desperately needed the distraction.

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"You've had enough, don't you think?" I heard someone's voice and all I felt was the bottle being snatched away from my hand.

"Hey!" I snapped.

Gulping down the acrid taste in my throat, I struggled to my feet, trying to stand up, "Give it...back!" The world around me went hazy for a second and I felt like I was...flying.

Woah...I am flying. The alcohol gave me wings.

I giggled at the thought before a strong arm wrapped around my waist and pulled me away. What the hell. I was flying! What happened. I blinked through all the dizziness and tipped my head up.

I blinked again. Dashed lines blurred until they became a solid one.

I smiled at the sight of his eyes, "Your eyes are so beautiful," The words slurred out, "Did I ever tell you that?"

His eyebrows pulled together, "Okay, you're definitely wasted," He said and it wasn't till then that I saw the bit of worry in those beautiful eyes, "Let me take you to your room."

I shook my head, "NO!" Did I shout? Why?

I giggled again before my arms sneaked around his waist, my palms pressed against his hard back and I leaned forward into his warmth.

My hands moved down his back and I smiled as they landed on his - hehe - ass, "Your ass is nice too!"

"Okay, stop touching my ass," Amusement flared in his words before he removed my arms from around him, "Come on, let's go inside," His arm went around my back, holding me closely.

I raised my shoulders like a little kid and kept my feet frozen in their spot.

I pointed my finger at him, "You know," I swallowed down, "I wanted it to be special," I said, "I wanted him to be my first kiss, that's why...why I waited." I shook my head, "But..but why do I like him?" I shrugged, "I mean, I could get any guy," A frown pulled between my eyebrows, "Except him."

That's why I like him, maybe.

"You wouldn't know how much it sucks to like someone who doesn't like you back." My chest hurt and I rubbed at it.

Chase's eyes were focused on me as I talked. Something flashed across them before he shook his head and looked away, his words a mere whisper, "You're right," The muscles of his jaw tightened, "I wouldn't know."

A low breathe left him and he looked back at me, "Come on, let's get you to bed, you drank way too much."

"Wait," I mumbled and tilted my head up, looking at him. This time, actually looking.

His hair was in usual disarray, like he ran his hand in it a thousand time. His baby blue eyes staring down at me, they were so warm, so beautiful, and even though he was only a year-ish older than me, he was taller and had some stubble over his jaw.

"Lilly," He said, carefully.

"Hmm." I mumbled as my eyes slid down his chest, his blue buttoned up shirt matched his eyes, the sleeves rolled up to his elbows, and the first few buttons were left unbuttoned with a tie hanging loosely around the collar.

Lastly, my eyes flicked up and settled at his lips. They looked so kissable.

He was about to say something but I didn't hear it. I will never know why I did what I did next, but at the moment, it felt strangely right. Logic left me again as I grabbed his tie and pulled him down, only to press my lips against his.

Maybe it was the alcohol or the many novels I've read, but once my lips met his, they moved on their own accord, an instinct, or a bond.

Chase was way too shocked to react as I kissed his soft lips, but it wasn't long before his male instinct kicked in and soon, his hands were around my face and his lips moved against mine...hungrily.

I pressed my body against him. My stomach flipped and turned, pooled with a twisted desire I didn't know I had.

He kissed me deeper. Hard and demanding. I opened up to him as his tongue dipped in and I swept mine across his. I didn't know how I was doing this but...I was doing it.

My fingers wrapped around the back of his hair while his got lost in the mass of mine before they stroked down my spine.

Heat surged into the confines of my chest, drowning me into his arms.

His kiss came urgent, so did mine, like I was falling and he is the only one who could save me. My fingers dug into his shoulders, raked down his back and gripped at is neck, doing everything to bring him closer.

This is my first kiss, so I shouldn't judge, but I don't think it could get any better than this.

Soon enough, much to my dismay, logic and reason took a hit on me, crashed against my thoughts and pushed me away from him.

Frantically, I pulled away, breaking the kiss even when every cell in my being was crying, and trying to reach out for him again.

No.

He looked down at me, lust darkened his eyes, his lips red and a bit swallowed from our kiss. The moonlight reflected off his face and I don't think I've seen anything more beautiful.

No.

I shook my head, "This...I..this was a mistake." I mumbled as I pushed my body from his, my heart beat a thousand feeling against my chest, "It...it didn't happen, okay?"

I didn't wait to see his reaction. I immediately turned around and ran back into the house.

I don't know if the kiss sobered me up or it just got me more drunk. I was still in a daze, my mind a tangled up mess, my nerves spiked and my heart went out of control.

I slammed the door behind me and pressed my back against it. My hand clutched into my chest, trying to calm down the little muscle thundering against my ribcage.

I shook my head. It didn't happen. It didn't happen.

I will never speak a word of it. He never will.

And that's how it all started.