Grey

The deafening sound of nothingness loomed its way past every floating particle of air, an elegant breeze fondling Erin's sunken skin, and right there and then, he could've sworn he was the most at peace right now than he's ever been in years.

"It's already been so long." A sigh he didn't know he released reverberated in his ears. "Hm."

It's been a while since his hospitalisation. Since his own flesh and blood betrayed him, exhaling him like smoke in the air. It was that easy for them, and it hurt Erin a little less, day by day. No matter how little it shrunk to hurt, it would never reduce his hatred for even leaving Gihyun behind.

The Sun meets the Moon at all hours of the day, never missing the chance to beam at each other - we are all under the same stars, Moon, Sun; yet, we are all so vastly beyond the word different, so very unalike.

The inky moonlight commenced its grand return, cradling the sleepless figure that simply wordlessly gazed at it. Rae hopped atop Erin's stomach, patting it down as he got comfortable.

"Lucky you, Rae. Wish I had someone to lean on," Erin sadly smiled, sighing softly at the warmth the calico cat irradiated. He felt like a sine wave, crossing the borders of sanity and entering that to pathetically sad desperation, yet never crossing the line back up. He couldn't come back up; not in the finite region he's bound to. He felt so stuck, so eloquently silenced. "Mr Blue, you look grey, today. What happened to your bright glow? Is it because the stars aren't keeping you company right now?" he pondered, tracing a finger over the crown of the creature's head. "Grey can be interesting too, I guess. Being in-between black and white, like a midground. I think that should be something everyone strives for," he heartily spoke. "It feels as if I might be helping you for once. I hope, anyways."

A familiar pang of throbbing stamped unto his head, feeling all types of biliousness surging through the pits of his stomach.

"Rae, you shouldn't have pressed that damn button."

Huffing violently, he drowned the simmering bloodcurdling choke by guzzling down a bottle of water, hurriedly yanking the headset over his head. As if it were potent witchcraft, the pain dissipated from his once aching head, heart and soul now occupying the well-known virtual body he's grown to love. He'd like to believe it were magic, because his world had no room for the existence of it; believing in myths was the only thing that made reality a bit more bearable.

His eyes wavered open, as the world around him materialised, zoning him back into 'reality'. Flexing his fingers, he adjusted to the newfound agility, planting his feet before running out of the lobby and into the town square. Familiar faces were etched across every corner, for there were only about three thousand players in total. But, those familiar faces did not exude the same look of fear, awe, or shock it always held when looking at 'Blue'. They were faces of pure anger; unmistakably seething anger.

Erin being confused is one thing atop many emotions that swirled in his head, the dominant factor being fear. He has raided clans, and moved on, but never once have they gave such a dominating look upon him.

"Ain't he that hacker kid?"

"Of course the son of a bitch couldn't play fair, had to go and get daddy's help, huh?"

"Fag thought he'd get away with it too. What a joke."

What..?

Erin could only stammer a short nod of a no, all unease and nerves holding his body hostage. He walked up a bit further, praying they weren't talking about him, but alas, he was wrong. He barely reached the end of the street before a large group of players huddled around him, flicking their fingers starkly. In each hand appeared a weapon, ranging from swords, to baseball bats, all the way up to guns. He could barely stutter a sentence out, widening eyes brewing tears in each curve.

He's never been cornered like this, never once feeling the graze of a sword against his skin. Especially in a safe, peaceful zone like a little village. He's always been quick to kill and run, much too unbothered to stay around any longer. Except, this isn't like before.

Run, or kill?

He didn't have much time to think, as his hand oscillated up and down as he anxiously wondered what to do.

"Don't even think about it, you sorry excuse for a tester. I bet you felt so damn hard wipin' our asses, but you had the upper hand, hm? How miserable."

Erin tried his best to ignore it, but he couldn't. Cheater? Hacker? It almost felt childish. There was so much to Park Erin, but neither of these words met the standard. Where on earth did that idea come from? So many questions, so little answers. Thank god his mic was off, so at the very least he could pretend he wasn't about to break down.

"Please do not spread lies," he typed.

"Still actin' high and mighty, huh? Cry me a river, boy," a random man sneered. Oh, of course; Erin forgot you could see the beholder of all emotions, also known as his eyes. Despite him almost becoming addicted to virtual bloodshed, the initial feeling before an attack always haunts him; does he do it? After all, they can feel the pain. Of course, he continues; their pain is only physical, he assumes, so he continues despite the gnawing of regret bubbling in the pits of his gut. It's too terrifyingly similar to real life. Way too much, and he'll never stop simultaneously loving and hating it.

He hadn't responded for a while, only angering the herd of players around him even more.

"Answer, you fuckin' brat, or I'll make you choke the words out!"

He was so nearly ready to attack, but the yellow glow of a player logging on caught his attention. A man with chestnut brown hair, sharp eyes, and a mole on his nose appeared. All too familiarly, he wore a condescending smirk. The player scanned the town, before locking eyes with 'Blue'. His eyes pierced Erin's knowingly, almost as if he had been up to something. He could only shake it off, nervously glancing at the circle of men, circle growing tighter and tighter.

He didn't know what to do, his hands were clammy, eyes were wavering, and feet were jittering. But, he did know, only too afraid to try. It's do or die, but he almost felt cowardly. One last glance at the smirking man was all he needed to feel furious, blood kicking up its speed a few notches. Throwing caution to the wind, he didn't care anymore.

Flinging his glistening sword out of his sheath, he leaped two metres into the air with the help of his agility skill, kicking two heads, one ahead, and one behind. They fell back, knocking into the bodies behind them, five men already on the floor. Not dead, but about to be. Before the flabby merchant could beat him, he kicked the bat out of his stout hand, smacking his rosy cheeks away, meeting the floor.

Uriel could only laugh, watching the scene unfold before him. Vindictive acts, to him, paralleled the likes of candy to children; sweet, irresistible, and ever so hard not to muse. He boisterously chuckled, clutching his stomach as he doubled over. Wiping a stray tear, he opened his messaging tab, twiddling his fingers and sending it off to the shorter man in battle. Gazing at the scene once more, he teleported away to his forest.

Erin was actively being overwhelmed, and knew he couldn't fight seven players to death, all at once. He readied a teleport crystal, jolting slightly at the notification skimming his vision.

Player status: stranger, has requested your presence!

A teleport message.

Not willing to stick around, he launched his index finger atop the 'accept' button, allowing the warm glow overtake him as he transported elsewhere, somewhere he hadn't yet found out. Only just processing it, he realised that this may have not been the smartest idea he's had. Accepting a mysterious teleport request from an unknown player? It could very well range from anything like a death trap to a thug. Hearing the furious screeches of the people fading out of his vision brought him eternal comfort, and that's all he knew. Reaching the location, he was immediately met with a taller man, barely three inches away from his face.

What the..?

Of course. How brilliant. It was his favourite person, said with no hint of sarcasm whatsoever. Though, it should've been obvious he sent the message, just from the way he leered alone.

"Tell me, how does it feel?" V lopsidedly grinned, smacking Erin's shoulder.

He resembled a child.

"What did you do, V?" Blue texted, heart racing at his antics at a million miles per hour, along with the extremely close proximity of their faces.

"Oh, nothing, really. Just some damage here and there," he innocently smiled, before it dropped into a snarl. His eyes tensed, pushing Erin backwards. "How dare a birdie like you get so close to me. Know your place, little boy," he spat.

Erin didn't even bother defending himself, for all he wanted was for this to be over as soon as possible. Someone who reeks such words has them internalised. There was no point arguing. His breath would go to waste if he even tried to ask him to not throw such atrocious words so carelessly.

"Ok."

"Ok? S'that it?"

Silence.

"Listen here, you midget. I've fucked your reputation once, and I'll do it again," V threatened, a snappish hand pointing in Blue's direction.

A few cogs in Erin's cognizance twisted and churned, a dangerous theory emerging from his mind.

"You..?"

"Money buys everything. I bought you a place with a lowly standard, and I've bought my way up, all the way to level ninety," he proudly grinned, hand confidently placed on the left side of his hip. Erin's mouth hung wide open, becoming a concoction of millions of emotions. Annoyed, angry, sad, unmotivated, discouraged, and everything in between. The level he had worked so hard for, fourteen hours a day for, building a new him, all blown away with a single puff of V's breath.

Buying levels? As far as Erin was aware, that had never ever been an option. He supposed you could make options though, if you had money to splurge.

"Please, don't look so discouraged. You told me to remember your name. I gotta say, I put it to real good use there, didn't I?" Uriel fondly sniggered, as if reminiscing about a loved one. "Mhm, oh yeah, might be worth you listening here. You have about fourteen days left with this game. That is, unless, you have more money than me, or if you don't play in the Battle Royale and give me all your stats. S'up to you."

To say he was dumbfounded would be an understatement. Whatever happens, he can not lose this game. He worked way too much for it, god, far too much for it. He didn't care about him feeling more pain, he needed the money desperately, and only God knew. Scratch that - if the supposed God knew, he'd help. Only Mr Blue knew. His trusty friend that always lit up the darkest hours.

V logged off, leaving Erin to feel heavy on his feet. The Battle Royale is in two days, meaning he only had twelve days afterwards, to earn as much money as he possibly could. Only now, Erin was a notorious hacker who no one would dare be near, let alone team up with. Whatever the case may be, Erin can not afford to give his stats; and he won't.

Heaven or Hell; which place is worse? Eternal life in the clouds, where anything slightly wrong is looked down upon, where every detail is so disgustingly perfect, or eternal life in the pits of fire, where anything good is mocked. In fact, neither. Neither of these places can ever be as nightmarish as the place humans call home. Earth, where both Heaven and Hell co-exists, in utter chaos. Bad is looked down on, but no single kind soul exists. The nothingness that is earth was neither light nor dark, just grey.

It was foolish of him to think grey was a mid-ground. It was everything but harmonious.

A day had passed.

What a sultry, pristine voice he had. Pure, untainted, and clear. No single baritone voice hummed any tone quite as melodically as him. It can lull you to a deep slumber, deeper than anyone has ever delved, deeper than the blue of the twilight zone; but, it could leave you restless, wet body trickling with beads of unrelenting sweat. It's a fatal combination; the syrupiest of voices used to speak the omen of hatred.

Erin hated it.

He hated every gram attached to V's body, he hated his silken voice, his silken, venomous voice. He had so much hate in his heart, with more to give for the world he deemed wretched. Especially the person who was near him. He had to be near; this game was only released in Korea, Japan, and China, and the thought of a man like him anywhere near him made him sick to the core of his stomach.

Even worse, the only people playing this game publicly are testers like Erin, or those rich enough to have early access. It's safe to assume which category the man fell into.

"Erin, why d'you look so mad? You need to take your antidepressants," Gihyun popped through the door, picking up Rae and placing him on the bed. Gihyun turned the TV on to play a news channel, all sorts of reports playing through the speaker. It irritated Erin a bit.

"Hello, to you too, brother," Erin weakly smiled, opening his arms as Rae approached him.

"Here, I bought it this morning," Gihyun chirped, shoving the bottle of pills in his elder brother's face.

"Gihyun. These pills are pointless. I, as your elder, forbid you from paying for such things any longer."

"But-"

"No buts. You paying for my treatment is already much more than enough," the elder firmly stated, watching his brother's face drop. Sighing, he forced a weary smile on, not wanting to see his brother upset. "Look, I'm beyond grateful. I'm happy, see?" he beamed forcedly. "So, don't be sad. I'm doing this for you." Erin probed Rae to hop off his lap, opening his arms to welcome his quivering brother's body.

He whined aloud, leaping into Erin's frail body. He clutched unto the elder's cotton hospital button up, heaving out wet tears as he collapsed atop him. Erin could only watch, stunned. He felt as if his weightless body was being crushed, air barely able to suck into his lungs, but he didn't care. No pain or discomfort is greater than that of watching his beloved brother cry. He combed a hand through Gihyun's overgrown hair, feeling himself frown at the realisation that he hasn't gotten a haircut in over a year.

"I just- I-I-" he sucked in a shaky breath. "I really, really can't bear seeing you like this. I love you so much, and, I, you're all I have, just tell me you'll be okay? Please?" he barely breathed, soaking Erin's top with his dripping tears.

Erin's ears ached. The TV reported a car crash nearby.

"I...Gihyun, you kn-"

"No. I don't know. I don't know anything apart from the fact that you'll make it, so just swear on it!"

"Hyunnie.. "

"Swear on it!" he bawled raucously, pulling Erin up by the shirt.

"I-I promise, but please, can you loosen your grip a bit..?" Erin whispered, lungs unable to keep up. Gihyun's brows furrowed, as his blurred vision scraped the sight of Erin. Erin, who's skin was tinted a more prominent grey. Eyebrows raised to the roof, he gasped, releasing his grip causing the elder to lightly fall on his back and choke.

The TV sounded louder. "..New reports of a drug suggests that.."

Too loud. Too real.

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry - let me get your oxygen mask on!" he scrambled, limbs flailing as he scuttled to his ECG machine. A stable hand dominated its grip unto his arm, causing him to cease his actions.

"I'm fine, I promise you. Come lay down next to me, I have ten more minutes before I need to log on," Erin suggested, lifting his blanket as he made room for his sibling. His crystalline tears glowed over his smile as his face lit up, immediately scrabbling to cuddle his brother. As soon as Gihyun embraced his body, he sighed in delight, humming at the newfound affection his elder brother was giving to him; this rarely happened, not even once in a blue Moon.

Erin said it was because he didn't want Gihyun to hug a bag of sorry bones, but there were scarce occasions where Erin just didn't care. He was human after all, an affectionate, touchy one at that. Minutes later, Erin couldn't help but amuse the questions itching at him restlessly; giving in, he exhaled, opening his mouth to speak.

"So.. You trying out a new hairstyle?"

"I, uh, yes? You like it?" Gihyun visibly shifted, self-consciously flicking through his hair.

"Gihyun, you always said you hated long hair because it made you look like that girl from The Ring," he raised a brow.

"Well, opinions can change, you know."

"Don't try lying to your elder, you are only sixteen and foolish."

"And you're only three years older."

"Exactly."

"What? Just you wait 'til you're unconscious. I'll draw a moustache on your face in Sharpy. Make you look as old as you think you are." Gihyun huffed, causing Erin to heartily chuckle. Gihyun couldn't help but smile after seeing his brother's eyes crease into little crescents after so long, causing him to inevitably chuckle too.

"Remember when you were younger and you stole Nana's wine, and you got drunk off your face?" Erin reminisced, smiling wider than he ever had in the past four months.

"Oh, I remember that, unfortunately. I literally skinny dipped in the sink when all the guest's came round," Gihyun bashfully blushed, hiding into his elder brother's chest.

"Don't you dare forget how you henna-ed a bloody penis on my face, I couldn't get it off for two weeks!" Erin faked his anger, ruffling the younger's warm brown hair.

"Then you had to wear Nana's cheap foundation that was way too orange for you," Gihyun relished everything happening in this moment. He was in a nirvana so unreachable, yet so fragile. Pure bliss would be the phrase to describe his euphoric state. They were going down memory lane in each other's arms, snorting in a sticky warm embrace. This was all he ever wanted, and all he will ever wish for.

"At least you were apologetic. You made me mochi every day until it fully erased, which was quite impressive for a kid," Erin smiled, before it began to decline a falter. "I guess you always took care of me, didn't you, Hyunnie..?" his sentence trailed off, face unmistakeably resembling his distant, empty countenance like every other day.

TV. Loud. Too loud.

"Don't even suggest that. You took way more care of me. Since our parents were never round, you spoiled me, took me to school, cooked for me, and loved me. You still do. So, just this once, let me help you out too. It'll all be over soon, I promise," Gihyun wavered, too wary to continue any longer.

"Yeah, it'll be over soon," Erin warmly spoke, Gihyun not quite catching what he meant by that. A series of questionable undercurrents gushed under the thick layer of tension in his words, going unnoticed by the euphoric younger.

"That's the spirit!"

"Speaking of over, I don't know much yet, but I don't think I want to play anymore after the end of this month."

"Oh? How come? You love that game, Erinie," Gihyun pondered aloud.

"I.. I just want to be more in touch with reality," Erin stuttered out. This time round, Gihyun knew that that simply wasn't the case, but didn't want to push it. He knew better than to diminish the light mood they hadn't had in months. "You should get in touch with reality too, Gi. Get a haircut, I'll get some money as soon as you leave; it should arrive in your account by the time you reach the barbers."

"I really like my hair long. I don't want to cut it. I'm not cutting it."

"Go cut your hair, and buy some new clothes. The internet says plaid is very trendy these days," Erin asserted, knowing the effect that this particular tone has on his brother.

"I- Are you sure? It will get pricey.." he looked down guiltily.

"You think I don't see eyeing those shirts? Go treat yourself, my baby," Erin ushered, pinching his cheek.

"How did you even know about that?"

"Let's just say, brothers know best."

".. As a result of extensive use. Three cases of schizophrenia and even malignant cancer developed after using the gear over 10 hours a-"

"Off. Off, Gi, please turn it off. It's way too loud, I don't-"

"Okay, okay. I will," Gihyun switched the TV off. "I thought you wanted to get in touch with reality?"

"No."

"But it's kind of important? Some of the stuff could impact us. Like the car crash or that random gear-"

"I'll see you soon, okay? I can't wait 'til I can finally see your eyes beneath the mop on your head," Erin teased, reaching for his headset.

"Bu- Agh, okay. Thank you so much, big brother. I love you lots, don't forget!" Gihyun beamed excitedly packing his bag, ecstatic to be changing his appearance.

"Big brother loves you more.." Erin waved Gihyun off, voice descending into a whisper as he watched his sibling dash out the door, looking brighter than any star could dream of being.

This room already feels colder, without you, baby brother.

Glancing at the clock, he saw that he only had six minutes left before the Battle Royale. Staring at the headset, he debated one last time. Does he go, or should he stay? But, ten million Korean Won is the prize for the battle alone, not forgetting the fact that he earns money additionally; his earnings could sky rocket, easily earning more than he ever could within the next year. He could either earn everything he possibly can in two weeks, or make a decent amount of money over the year; but. But, the headset took away his pain. He'll be in constant, agonising physical pain for the rest of his life. Even then, he chose not to care. His darling brother was far more important than measly pain.

He had to choose between the phantom pain of virtual reality, or the physical pain of the real world.

He made his choice.

His eyes hardened, smacking the headset over his head, ready to enter his once pristine world.

The familiar moonlight glistened and glimmered, hugging Erin's opulent features. His skin glowed a pink colour, pink and alive. Flexing his arms, he adjusted to his new body before dashing to the forest the battle was taking place in. Teams hunt, shelter, and fight in this forest, able to take anywhere between one and twenty hours, depending on how well everyone plays. You can die of hyperthermia, hypothermia, starvation; you name it. It was as similar as you could get to reality but worse, except of course, you don't actually die. It'll feel like it due to the increased sensitivity, granted, but you'll leave the game well and alive.

If you don't count the potential bruises formed by the potential in-game wounds.

The forest silenced clocks, for this place of root and branch is the dominion of eternal soul. From the rich brown earthen hues of the forest ground, up to the inkiness of the blue-black sky, this place served as a three dimensional wonder- land for the suicidal. Land far too dangerous looking to even glance at. It was almost tempting and mocking others to enter, knowing no soul can escape its clasp.

Craning his neck up higher, he saw his beloved Moon cheering him on, glowing ever so brightly.

"Hello, Mr Blue. You're a full Moon today; I'm happy for you. Does this mean that even more of your existence will be cheering me on..? I hope so. I have a plan, and I only have you by my side," Erin nervously rambled, turning his mic on for a short moment, so unsure and insecure of his ability to combat. V robbed it, single handedly. If, by some miracle, he wins, the next twelve days will be difficult- he will be deemed as the hacker who inevitably won. If he loses, he barely gets enough money, and rots in this world until he's kicked off.

V.

One letter, one syllable. Enough to send him into a frenzy. Win or lose, the beautiful world constructed from tears and hardship will shatter like a mirror, reflecting broken pieces of himself. Win or lose, V will always be the one who truly triumphs.

In the tribe of wood and leaf, the sound of twigs breaking beneath the weight of a player brought him back to life, thus triggering him to wear the mask of nonchalance.

"Well. Nice to see you here," V simpered, walking to face the familiar player. Blue did not reply - it would get him nowhere, he decided. "Cat got your tongue?" he falsely waited for a reply, only causing him to frown sarcastically. "Nah. You never spoke to begin with," he sighed. Shifting his head, the smirk that he wore on his face dropped. "I guess you have twelve days left," he lowly murmured, voice reaching the pits of the deepest oceans. He delicately stood beside Erin's ear, whispering dangerously low. "I saw you talking to the Moon, freak. You really don't move from that chair, do you, you damn cripple?"

"I wish you luck." Erin ended with a simple text, refusing to get worked up before the match.

"I don't need it. I'm V for Victory, for a good reason too," Uriel spat, storming off to his position.

Erin sighed gently, eyes glazed with adoration adorning the sight of the Moon.

"And I'm Blue for you, Mr Blue."