"Tell me, Mr Blue. Was it worth it? Is it worth it? Will it be worth it?" It wasn't and it never will be. Not in Erin's eyes tinted blue. Not in the eyes of the hopeless young man doomed to the clutches of fate; doomed to eternal pain. Did beauty lie between the cracks of fate? Does the Moon know of the Sun who died every night to let the Moon breathe? Erin, a poor, hospital bound boy just wants to be like everyone else, to love someone. Every day, he escapes to the virtual world with his wings of freedom, creating his own reality where things goes the way he wants. That world gave him a real, painless body, with infinite possibilities. Life got that much harder when, Uriel, a rich boy enters this realm and steals Erin’s world. The man who says the ugliest of words with the smoothest of tones. Does he help Erin, or dig him deeper? OR Erin wanted love and got pain instead. Things changed, and so did Uriel. INCLUDES: futuristic virtual reality, Persian mythology (minor), romance, sci-fi, slow burn, enemies to friends to lovers, rich/poor dynamic, mythology, distance, cold families, battles, quests, stars and moon metaphor. WARNING: includes mentions of depression, swearing, and sexually explicit content.
View MoreThere's something.
Something that may be real, or nothing more than a fleeting fantasy made up in the figments of the human imagination. What's more powerful? That 'something' being real? Or the sheer power of the limitless, innovative necromancy that is our brain?
That 'something'..
It twists, tangles, stretches; but, it never breaks. For all the universe, the web of interconnected galaxies it's worth, two evergreen souls will endlessly interlace with each other's destiny.
A pretty string adorning the colour of blood.
A string immeasurably stronger than the fibres of steel, purer than the purest gold. Is it someone's pinnacle, or their downfall? To be oh so intertwined with the one you're destined to love, or to be doomed to the same person, no matter which era you enter. To never be apart, or to never escape? No one knows. Do you know? Is it beautiful, or is it hideous? Does this phantom string even exist, or did our hopelessly hopeful minds conjure it?
These thoughts leisurely strolled around in the frontmost area of Erin's bleak cognisance. The twisting and tangling of unattainable questions sat on him like an itch on his skin, only gnawing at the empty shell of his body more than any other disease would ever. Or, maybe, he could find an answer.
Just not his.
A small, frail cat stretched his hind legs, twitching gently. Soft paws delicately folded in, before the dainty creature pranced off the stiff bed and upon the large window frame. A bluish grey hue penetrated the room at all angles, illuminating the crumpled crease of Erin's thin blanket the vibrant colour of nothingness. The cerulean aura emitted prompted the wiry figure beneath the cotton blend to stir in his sleep, soft breathing growing into deep sighs. Sighs of discontent. With blurred, half-lidded eyes, he glanced across the small cube he has been refined to, shoulders relaxing slightly at the sight of his feline companion slumped against the window. A single, pearlescent tear slid down his unblemished cheek, almost glowing beneath the blue moonlight.
He didn't want to wake up in this porcelain excuse for a life. So brittle, so flimsy, and ever so unfair. He didn't want to walk, but fly instead. Why live when you're going to die anyway? Why make bonds you're going to break?
Why am I waking up to this same bland reality? Why bother trying when I'm destined to fail?
Why live and die at the same time?
So very many whys, so very few replies. Erin wants for no one but Mr Blue to hear his cries, and so he arose from his bed.
The single tear dissipated to the roaming particles of air, drying a thin streak of his sunken cheek. Small feet padded against the creaking floorboards, daintily strolling to the source of the almost magical moonlight. Lightly pressing against the window pane, a light breeze dusted against Erin's milky skin, tickling his spine like a feather in the wind. A small spark surged through his body, shivering under the wind's gaze. A fraction of a sound resonated through the raven-black haired male's ears, causing him to softly gaze over to the calico cat. Those wide feline doe eyes dilated, innocently snuggling his small head against his owner's smooth thigh. His plush lips twitched upwards marginally, tenderly holding his companion in the cool air before cradling it against his chest.
There the pair sat, as the furry creature basked in Erin's warmth, as he gently stroked the bridge of the cat's nose. He quivered once again, feeling tears stinging the puffed corners of his drooped eyes. Even then, his downturned eyes never fail to hold the glow of the pessimistic optimism of a thousand thriving people. With a deep inhale, Erin lifted his heavy head, cracking his mouth open, when the almost nonexistent plea of a whisper escaped the back of his throat.
"You're awful bright tonight; you woke me up, Mr Blue." A shaky, drawn out exhale puffed out of his downturned lips, as he began pouring out everything he had in his heart to the trusty Moon. The Moon that never failed to appear in his darkest hours.
"You're so lucky, you know? I would give anything to be as bright and lending as you." He propped his chin up against the cuddled creature, flickering his eyes across the glittery stars, landing atop the spherical rock known as the Moon. "But, I'm dull and selfish. You are always there for everyone when it all looks dark. Tell me, how do you do it? How do you die and breathe over and over again?" A small gust of air brushed against the cream curtains, tickling Erin's thin arms as he pondered deeper.
"Tell me, Mr Blue. How many times have I died, and breathed again? Why can't I just breathe fresh air, far away from this time and place? I feel as if I'm being drowned in a murky blue pond, for every day I've been stuck here. I want to be someone free, someone alive. Tell me. Tell me, how many times have I fallen in love? Was it with the same person? You've existed longer than any other creature to walk this sad planet, so tell me, is it real..? I wonder how many times I've held the same hands, met the same eyes, embraced the same chest."
One tear turned into two, three, six. "Or maybe, none at all. Maybe I was never loved in any life. Or maybe, this is my first and last life. S'the same hurt every day. Apart from you, Rae, hm," he fondly smiled, stroking his cat. "You and my brother might be the only good thing Mr Blue has gave me, you know? Thank you." Erin silently allowed tears to slip past his wondrous, desperate orbs, hugging Rae even tighter in his warm embrace. "Should we sleep, shouldn't we Rae? It's past the witching hour." The small being's jaw elongated briefly, yawning out a cloud of air, licking his nose. The corner of his lips rose slightly, as his heart sweltered at the beyond endearing sight.
"Goodnight, Mr Blue. If I breathe, I'll see you tomorrow."
He skidded away from the open window, curling into a tiny ball, Rae mimicking his actions beside him. The soft rise and fall of his chest grew even softer, as the shadow of sleep dawned upon his figure.
Here he laid beneath the burning stars against the hospital bed, moonlight ever so blue, tinting his skin a deathly grey. Silent, soundless tears held his clear sight captive, wanting nothing more than the invisible red string to slither smoothly around his thin neck, and tighten beyond his ability to loosen.
Nothing is worth it.
A week before Erin's birthday."At least I could say that I tried," he played with Rae's paws. "I really did, you know? It's not like I wanted this."He gnawed at his lip, a twisted red. "I...I mean I did want it. Of course I did, but I tried not to, Mr Blue. I really did." he wistfully looked out the window. "I didn't want to love him, because now I'm stuck up here," he jabbed a finger at his skull."God damnit, I'm stuck here. God damnit!"Fingers knotted deeply into his hair, pulling at his roots. "I don't want him alone, please, please," he silently pleaded to no one in particular.His cacophanous whispers were carried by the breeze and crumbled into ashes.Because, from the very beginning, Erin knew he shouldn't. Shouldn't get involved and create something only to leave it unfinished, forever. He knew, and yet
Uriel was blue, too. As blue as the poem Erin wrote months and months ago. As blue as Gihyun's quivering lips when he read it to him aloud. He wished he could reach beyond the glass barrier and warm his small hands up.-Blue, blue like the moonlight,Bluer than every blue,I'm speaking of your eyes,those blue mendacities,Oceans of restlessness.Blue is my heart,The sea that is held captive,This is destiny's visage,That takes its colour from you.When I stare at the depth of the tiled pond,I feel like I'm staring into you,Even though you are absent.I see your eyes in the color of the universe,I genuflect to you.Blue, blue like the moonlight,Bluer than every blue,I'm speaking of your eyes;those blue mendacities,Oceans of restle
"Several news reports have amassed over the last eight months regarding the virtual headset. It has broken all barriers humanity had believed could never be broken, but has some extremely grave consequences. A total of 52 patients have developed psychotic symptoms after extensive use of the headset, and even catalysing brain malfuction and death in one young patient named Park Erin. Park Erin passed away upon turning 20, and post-mortems show extreme levels of plasticity in his brain, as his parts of his somatosensory cortex severely decreased in volume." "Thank you, Ms Byun. For what reason were the reports delayed?" "In all actuality, speculation was always made regarding the headset as more and more cases of psychosis, and even neurosis, emerged. Officials deemed it too early to take this case to court and further examine the reports. However, as of two days ago, data regarding the origins and maintenance of the
He couldn't. He couldn't help himself, couldn't resist the urge, couldn't silence the lust-coated pleas dripping from his mouth, couldn't deny his body from curving and rolling up inches higher just to meet Erin. He couldn't resist, and no deity would be able to either.He has never been so glad to be so useless at something. He was so glad his pitiful efforts poured into resisting was all but futile.He chanted and chanted his name, shuddering breaths lacing and weavings its way into every tenebroussyllable, begging for his beautiful name to be etched into the air and ceaselessly lingering. He wants to always feel Erin."I want you to love me. But I don't just want to know it. I want to feel it. I want to feel your love filling me up and splitting me wide open at the seam, I want to feel it drag across my walls and paint me crystalline white. Let me feel it, Uri, I'm begging you. ple
The red almost drowned Uriel in its drunken tang of delusion, and Dionysus could only slur scraps of a sentence Uriel longed to hear.His limbs ached so terribly. And oddly enough, all he can begin to remember is being slumped against a tree with the redness of raw meat thrown at him. Could almostfeelthe glimmer of something that shouldn't have a physical sensation, the greenish glimmer, tingling and healing.It took the scrape of something against the balcony floor to snap him back to the present. He scoffed, shook his head, and walked up.His steps were quiet, feathery, almost as if he wasn't there: walked as if he entered a room full of nails with no shoes. He didn't know why he was being so mute, but figured it had something to do with the fact that this person could be armed. He couldn't help the nth scoff he released at his own stupidity."Hey, the fuck do you think you're doing in my pent
"Uriel, please just straighten your tie. You shan't ruin this business meeting with such a haggard countenance," his father bellowed, his mother nodding in agreement behind him, lips stained red. Uriel's suit was ill-fitting, just barely sitting at his hips. All this money and they still didn't know how to mould it upon Uriel; if it wasn't something that made his heart rip, it would almost be comical. No one cared as much as he did. He even measured him to make sure the clothes fit well.They had reached a ridiculously lavish, costly five-star restaurant, owned by some of the most well-known Persian chefs to reside in Japan. Of course, the restaurant had to be Persian. Fate was so damn cruel.At first, Uriel used to love that Erin shared so much of himself with him. Now, it only picked at scars.After the twinge in his heart settled, Uriel's steps increased once more. Heading in, he was faced with a grand hallway, carpet
Uriel's father's voice resonated loud and clear through his ears, but he felt as if he couldn't hear, ending the call with an empty mind. They were spewed like a foreign language, which he's never been more elated he didn't understand. He turned his phone off and faced the TV."...urge utmost caution. Reports of another casualty with similar symptoms has appeared within the central hospital-"Uriel turned the TV off.Mind wandering back to his other half, he began to wonder if he was doing okay. Was he eating well? Sleeping well? Making new friends? Looking down on him? It shattered his very being knowing that the first touch was his last. He wanted to eat mochi with him, tell him he started liking it a lot. Wanted to visit Angel Falls, and chuck him in the same way he chucked Uriel into a lake, he wanted to go to university together, visit the Japanese caves and witness the dazzling quartz caves in person. Abov
Its vivacious rhythms and beats and off-key notes keep the spring in your steps alive. It's finite, but feels endlessly long at the same time.It's a beautiful song that plays from the moment you bloom, to the day you die. The song that puts one at ease, that reminds you of your existence, that proves you're alive. It's a song stained red, pulsing through your veins at a million miles per hour. It's a song that works hard to keep you uplifted, and moving. The song of life, the song that would play until the universe itself ceases to exist.It was Uriel's favourite song. The song he grew to love with a bit of time, and a bit of patience. Or, as Erin put it, he always loved it. He just didn't know it yet.The more you hear it, the more you can't be without it.To be is being, and he is not so sure he can continue being anymore.The song he loved with every fibre of his being, with
The dangerous combination of his voice, the beautifully gentle lilt to it,his countenance, and enchanting words ascended Uriel's heart into an unreachable altitude, thumping away on a cloud of longing.Eyes clouded by this unfamiliar emotion, Uriel complied to Erin's request. Yearned for it. He captured Erin's lips between his. It was safe to say that the younger was moonstruck. Totally, utterly drowning in the deep blue sea that was Erin, yet soaring in the sky that was his mere touch. He was everything with Erin, and nothing without him. Nostrils flaring, Uriel breathed in Erin's sweet rosy aroma, wanting nothing more than to get drenched in his scent.He can see it in Erin's eyes. They're full of wonder, they razzle and dazzle under the blanket of twilight, they smile without prompt. He could see the haze that used to coat his irises when he was smiling or crying or both, he could see the light in them when the two of them got into
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