Chapter 8 - Erin

Fuck my life! Seriously, this is the story of my life—same song, different tempo but still the same song on an infinite loop. I knew there would be some issues with MountHD and that there was no way Mr. Shelton could be as friendly as he presents himself. And bam, he drops the hammer, revealing he’s an asshole, and so is MountHD.

The worst part is that I went from having at least the start of a friendship, one person to talk to that isn’t my kids, to having an annoyed boss that knows I’m attracted to. A boss that I’ve told personal things to. A boss who has told me private things. And we are supposed to act like its business as usual.

DAMN IT!

I frowned, pushing away my lunch, no longer hungry. The man soured my stomach; worse, he did that in front of everyone here. Okay, neither of us spoke loudly, so they probably didn’t hear what was being said. Yet I felt people looking at me like they knew and listened to every word of his business-like breakup with me.

What’s wrong with me? It wasn’t a breakup. A breakup implied there was a relationship. I’d talked to him twice on that app. Did I enjoy talking to him? Of course. Did I hope I could have found a friend and, at best, a lover? Hell yes. Am I disappointed? You bet. Am I going to wallow? Hell No!

I hate the feeling that people are gossiping about me. I know I’m just paranoid as it’s loud in there, and it’s almost impossible that people would have heard us. Yet I can’t shake the feeling that the people glancing at me are whispering about me, that they know. Gathering my dignity, I dumped my lunch and left the cafeteria.

I tried to put the thought out of my head and do my job. As Mr. Shelton said, I had an email from him when I returned to my desk. I can do this. I can be a fucking professional. I didn’t balance my kids, work, and college to waste my degree and ruin this chance at a new start for my family.

If Mr. Shelton can manage to be professional in the office, so can I. And putting aside his somewhat cold and dismissive words about our Kindred Spirits connection, his suggestions about the campaign are good. He knows what he’s doing. Of course, he does. I’m sure he has plenty of credentials to be the director of this department. So I kept my head down and focused on work as much as possible.

I’ve never been the type who can focus for long, mainly if something else is weighing on me. So despite my best efforts, and trust me, I was trying hard, my mind kept returning to MountHD, or I suppose Mr. Shelton. I still don’t even know his first name. Everyone in the office calls him Mr. Shelton.

Okay, I’m hitting stalker vibes, but I pulled up the company’s employee roster. It shows all the departments and who is in each department— a way to put faces to names and know who to email for specific issues. I opened my department's page, and his handsome face was at the top of our department hierarchy—Hale D. Shelton, Director of Marketing.

I wonder if that’s what the HD stands for in his screen name, Hale D. Mount Hale D. Not knowing what the D stands for is sending my mind spiraling into inappropriate places for what the D could mean in his screen name. Mount Hale’s Dick? I suppose that’s better than the ones I’d thought before I knew who MountHD was.

Mount His Dick, Mount Her Daddy, Mount Hard Daddy, Mount Hard Dick. I’m a perv and probably among the many women who made such conclusions about his screen name. I was smart enough not to bring them up, especially after he said those comments were a turn-off.

I really shouldn’t be thinking about what turns Hale off or on. He made his stance clear. He wants no contact with me that is not work-related. I don’t know the policies here, but I’m sure most companies discourage relationships between supervisors and employees. I’m sure he had his reasons.

So professionally speaking, he was doing the right thing. I moved across the country for this job. And while the possibility that something could come of my connection with him on the app sounded great, it wouldn’t be worth the risk of my job. I have to put my kids’ stability first, and risking my job is the opposite. I don’t care how good-looking Hale is.

I can and will keep things professional. That’s what I told myself the rest of the week. While at work, I was perfectly professional, focused on my job, and only communicating with Hale, I mean with Mr. Shelton, via email. At work, things were the same as before. He didn’t directly talk to me; all emails Mr. Andrews was cc’d on were always business.

It was at home that things weren’t the same. I was itching to talk to MountHD about the various things happening in my life. Not work stuff but general life. Like I wanted to tell him, I told my kids about the Macleay Trail he recommended, and we had plans to go there Saturday. I wanted to talk about some of the funny messages other guys have sent so we could laugh at the ridiculous pick-up lines.

“Mom? What’s got you all blue?” Sage asked as they flopped onto the sofa, leaning on my shoulder to peer at my phone.

“Yeah, you’ve been glum all week. Some dill weed on the app ghost you?” River questioned, lowering their tablet to peer at me over their glasses.

Oh great, just what I need an inquisition from my kids. “No one ghosted me, technically. He at least told me he wouldn’t be messaging me anymore.” I lamented. People may underestimate my kids since they ‘act out,’ but they are bright and notice things—no point hiding it from them.

“Rude. Did he say why? Was it that guy you were talking to late that first night?” River furrowed their brow.

“Yes, it was that guy. And yes, he told me why. It turned out MountHD is my director Hale Shelton at work. So it would be an HR violation for anything unprofessional to take place.” I frowned, shrugging. Nothing I could do about it, but that doesn’t mean it didn’t suck.

“Who cares about HR policies?” Sage scoffed. “Rules are meant to be broken.” They grinned. “You should message him. Ask to meet outside of the office. I bet there is a way to work it out.”

“That is assuming he would want it to work out. And he had a valid point. If we had become anything, we would have to inform HR, and if our relationship was deemed inappropriate due to our positions in the company, one of us could get transferred or, worse, fired. And given he’s the senior staff member, I’d be the one getting the short end of the stick.” I tried to reason.

“Well, we can hope Mount Hale Daddy doesn’t have a short stick.” River laughed. I rolled my eyes as Sage joined in laughing. I would ask how my kids got such dirty minds, but then I remember I’m their mother.

I was about to make a witty reply when my thoughts were interrupted by the doorbell. I can’t imagine who it would be. I’m not expecting a package or any delivery. “We aren’t done. I’ll eventually remember what I was going to say.” I pointed my index finger at them as I set my phone down to check the door.

I glanced back at them, narrowing my eyes as they feigned innocence. I don’t know what they are up to, but it will have to wait. Whoever is at the door is an impatient cunt who thinks they must lean on the doorbell. “I’m coming. Hold your horses!” I shouted as I pulled the door open.

All color drained from my face when I saw a ghost from my past. A ghost I wished had stayed there. Dane Blackburn, asshole extraordinaire and deadbeat father. Though I guess it’s not fair to call him a deadbeat father. He’d have to be told about my kids to be a deadbeat and not paying child support.

I never contacted him about being pregnant. So why is he here? Better question: how did he find me? We haven’t seen or been in any contact in sixteen years. What kind of creepy ass stalker shit did he pull to find my address?

I went to slam the door in his face because while I have a million questions, I remember the kind of man he was, and I don’t want that near my kids or me. Before I could shut the door, his big boot stopped it as he grabbed the door with a scowl.

“Aren’t you going to invite me in?” Dane questioned that too familiar menacing expression on his face.

“Fuck no! Get the hell away from me.” I shouted, trying to shove the door closed. “You have no business here, stalker prick. I don’t know how you found me, but you can forget my address.”

“I’m not here for you, cow. Been there, done that. I didn’t want more. I’m here for my sons. Hand them over.” Dane demanded, starting to push at the door. My bare feet began to slip as he was stronger.

“Then you have no business here. If you have sons, they aren’t here. I don’t have sons. Now go away before I scream so loud my neighbor hears and calls the cops!” I threatened. I’m hoping it doesn’t come to that. If the cops get involved, it could result in a custody battle and Dane getting to see my kids. I won’t let that happen.

“Don’t lie to me. It took a lot of digging to find you, and I know you gave birth to twin boys several months after I left your ass. I have a right to them, and you can’t keep me from them. So call the cops. I’ll tell them you’ve been hiding my sons from me. So don’t go threatening me, Erin. I can make your life hell and take them from you.” Dane sneered.

Each time he misgendered my kids, I felt my left eye twitch. I hate when people do that. I hate it even more because Dane is calling them his sons. As if he has some claim to them. I’ve raised my kids. I’m the one that loves them and accepts them for them. He knows nothing about them and hasn’t wanted to know anything about them.

“SHE SAID TO GO AWAY!” River shouted as they and Sage rushed forward and helped get the door shut and locked. This is not how I wanted them to meet their sperm donor. I never wanted them to meet him. And now they have, and worse, he’s seen them.

Dane pounded at the door, making it quake with each hit. I swore if he hit it much more, it would break. When did Dane get this strong? What drugs is he on that are making him this strong!?

“I know where you are. I know you have my sons. I will be back, Erin. And I will take back what is mine.” Dane threatened. My heart was pounding out of my chest as I reached out to pull my kids to me. Dane stomped away, and I heard a car door slam and the engine rev before the tires squealed as he peeled away from the curb.

What the hell am I going to do now? If I go to the police, they might side with him. They might force me to let him near my kids. I don’t care what kind of claim he thinks he has. River and Sage are my kids and will be staying with me.