Chapter 16 - Erin

I know I was the one that sent my kids to their rooms, but now that it’s just Hale and me, I’m feeling nervous. The last time we were alone was the first time we met in person, back when neither of us knew the other was who we’d been talking to on Kindred Spirits. I don’t count him sitting at my table in the office cafeteria as being alone, given we were in a room full of people, many of whom were werewolves, and heard every embarrassing word.

Remembering that conversation, if you could call it a conversation, brought up some questions, I’d like to have answered. I will not let any residual embarrassment about this situation stop me. This is my house, damn it, and I’m not going to sit here awkwardly pondering all the possible answers when I can ask and get answers from him directly.

“I’m sure you probably have more questions. Ones that River and Sage didn’t think to ask. I can’t imagine how you must feel learning all this. So if you have any questions, I’ll answer to the best of my abilities.” Hale offered.

I know his offer was more about the revelation that my dumbass ex is a werewolf and my kids are hybrids that may end up awakening wolf spirits in a few months. And I’ll admit I have some questions about that, but the questions that weigh heaviest on my mind aren’t about werewolves or my kids’ futures. It’s about the man sitting on my sofa in dangerously tight sweatpants.

What is it about sweatpants on a man that is so hot? As he adjusts how he’s sitting and my eyes unconsciously look to his crotch, I get my answer. I’d only dared a glance earlier, so sue me that I’m taking a long time gawking at the outline of his cock. This is exceptionally unfair. As my kids have liked to point out, I haven’t gotten laid in a long time, and now I’m sitting here with a handsome man whose dick is unintentionally on display wanting to take it for a ride when I know I can’t or at least shouldn’t.

“Erin? He’s not going to talk back. It’s just a dick. Should I use one of the blankets to cover up?” Hale offered, bringing me out of the trance I was in.

“Sorry. I’m fine. And I wasn’t expecting answers from your cock.” I sighed, covering my embarrassment at being caught gawking. I don’t want his cock to answer questions. I want it for something very different.

“You are right. I have questions. But they aren’t about werewolves, my ex, or my kids. And that may make me a bad mom, or I don’t know. Maybe I’m still processing that, so I’m focused on something more grounded in what I used to call reality.” I shrugged.

“That makes sense. I don’t think it makes you a bad mom. You haven’t run. You haven’t rejected them. You aren’t curled into a ball of denial in the safe bubble that most humans live in, where they believe they are the only intelligent beings around. So what is the other topic you had questions about?” He nodded.

“What happens now? By that, I mean between us. At the start of the week, you said we needed to keep things professional.” I jumped right into it. “Coming here blurred that line, and kissing me pretty much blew that line to pieces.”

“Erin…” Hale sighed. “The kiss… I…” I could see a mix of emotions on his face, and maybe I misinterpreted, but one might have been regret. Oh fuck, he’s going to apologize.

“Don’t apologize. I’m not looking for one. I’m just trying to understand this. Understand where I stand when it comes to you. Because I’m getting dizzy trying to keep up.” I cut him off, not willing to hear any apologies.

“Well, that’s good because I wasn’t going to apologize. I’m sorry if everything is getting confusing, but you aren’t the only one feeling that way. I’m just as confused. And it’s not simply because of our job titles.” Hale sighed, rubbing a hand over his face.

“I told you before, Jen was it for me. She was my one and only. Even before we were old enough to know we were mates, Jen was the only girl I looked at with desire. She was the only one that made me feel anything like that. So sitting here with you and having these feelings makes me confused.” Hale frowned.

Well, that’s a gut punch of a reminder. Of course, he’s going to feel conflicted. His wife was his literal soulmate, and he’s lived the last eighteen years without her. Now I show up in his life, and sure, when we started talking, he might not have seen it as more than someone to talk to, but that’s changed this week. And now everything is a muddled mess.

“I won’t say I understand how you feel because I’ve never been in the situation you are. I’ve never loved someone the way you loved and still love Jen.” I sighed. “On that note, I will understand if you would rather keep this platonic. That we forget the kiss even happened. It won’t be easy to forget the best kiss of my life, but I can try.”

It hurt for me to suggest, but I’d try. I don’t want to put Hale through more pain. He lost his soulmate. How long, if ever, does it take to move on from something like that? His son thinks it’s been long enough, but that’s not for Austin to judge. The only one that knows when Hale is ready is Hale.

“I won’t lie. I’m always going to love Jen. I can’t stop. She’s forever right here.” Hale touched his heart. “But that’s the thing about the heart. It’s boundless. There is always room for new people to care about and possibly love.” He sighed.

“I agreed to try Kindred Spirits because my son was right. A rare occurrence, but nonetheless, he was right. This whole being alone and miserable going through the motions of living but not living. I’ve lived the last eighteen years basically on autopilot. I don’t want to do that anymore.” He admitted. “So I don’t want to forget the kiss. I’m not sure I could if I tried.”

“You don’t?” I blinked, trying to hold in the excitement his words elicited. He doesn’t want to pretend the kiss didn’t happen. I don’t want to get ahead of myself, but everything he’s saying, it’s all adding up to this, not just a lapse in his professional demeanor that this could be more.

“Then… with what you’re saying, where does that leave us?” I dared to ask. I dared to hope this could leave us on the other side of that professional line. If neither of us wants to forget the kiss, maybe something more can happen.

“I’m not sure. I do know I enjoyed talking to you on the app. And when you walked into my office, before I knew you were EMomma, I thought you were beautiful and then scolded myself since you’re an employee in my department. So to find out you were EMomma, professionally speaking, put me in a bad situation.” Hale sighed.

“Which is why you told me Monday things had to remain professional.” I nodded. “But now? We’ve kissed. You’re sitting on my sofa in my kid’s sweatpants and are staying the night.” I arched an eyebrow.

“We’re still probably an HR infraction. I know the company makes exceptions for mates. But we aren’t that, so I don’t know what will happen to either of us professionally. Ultimately the only people who can overrule an HR policy are the Kinsley brothers.” Hale shrugged.

“Meaning your Alpha and Beta.” I nodded. “The same Alpha who gave the order that you should stay here. I don’t know how close you are with him, but it sounds like he has a plan with that order. He could have made your son stay or sent someone else.”

“I’m not sure how much of a plan he has. He does have a history of somehow putting people in the right place at the right time. Including putting my son in the right place at the right time for him to connect with his mate.” Hale conceded.

“So maybe, you’re in the right place at the right time.” I suggested taking the initiative to move from my chair, and before I could let myself second guess, I straddled his lap.

This was a risk; for a moment, I thought I’d moved too fast as he looked startled. But then his hands held my hips, keeping me in place on his lap. I smiled that he wasn’t rejecting my advance as I rested my hands on his shoulders.

“Because I believe it. With everything going on right now, you’re the best person to be here for my kids and me. You’re kind to a fault and so damn patient with my kids. I can’t imagine anyone being able to calmly answer their questions and help them and me through this new revelation.” I explained, leaning in closer.

“Even if all this craziness wasn’t happening… you’re exactly the person I need in my life.” I confessed as my lips brushed against his, initiating our second kiss. It was just as good, maybe better than the first, as this time, there was no hesitation from either of us as our lips moved in sync.

I don’t know how long we have. I love my kids, but I can’t trust how long they’ll stay in their rooms. For all I know, they are already sneaking out here to see if anything is happening. And if they saw me on Hale’s lap with us kissing, they’d probably go into a fit of giggles that would take us out of the moment. I pushed aside the possible pending child interruption as Hale deepened the kiss with a groan.

I don’t know how long we were kissing, it could have been an hour, but it wasn’t long enough as I felt something rubbing at my thigh. Initially, I thought it was something else until I realized it was Hale’s phone buzzing. Regrettably, he pulled back from our kiss.

“I should check that. It might be someone from the pack.” Hale sighed, taking a hand from my hip to reach between us for his phone. His expression changed as he saw whoever was calling him. It wasn’t just his expression; his whole demeanor changed as he answered.

“Yes, Delta.” Hale formally greeted. That must be the Delta he mentioned earlier. The genius. “Understood. Send me the intel, and I’ll review it. If he reappears, I will report immediately.” Hale nodded. “Thank you.” He sighed, hanging up and putting the phone aside as it started to buzz from an email or something.

“What’s going on?” I furrowed my brow. “What did your Delta say?”

“From your security footage above the front door, they got your ex’s name, address, pack, everything.” Hale explained.

“I could’ve told you his name. But I guess I wouldn’t know the rest of that. What did they find? Is it relevant somehow?” I cocked my head, trying to understand.

“They are sending me the information. We’ll know in a moment why getting to your kids was so important he tracked you down.” Hale assured. I’m not sure how reassured I feel. Knowing Dane’s reason is essential, but the look on Hale’s face, whatever his Delta told him, couldn’t have been good.