Well, now we know more about Dane. A rogue turned Alpha to the same pack that had shunned his mother. And now he's losing his mind after losing his mate.
I don’t even know where to begin with processing all of this. I knew there would be a lot about Dane I didn’t know. I didn’t know he was a werewolf when we dated, so I’m sure there was a lot related to that he kept from me. I just wasn’t fully prepared to hear all this. I knew Dane was different, more aggressive, and unstable than the man I knew. Now that I know he’s that way because he lost his mate, I’m unsure how to feel about it. Do I feel bad for him? I mean, in a way, I do. His soulmate died. The thing is, Hale lost his soulmate too and isn’t deranged and aggressive. He lost his wolf, staying alive for his son’s sake. Dane isn’t clinging to life for River and Sage. He’s clinging to life rather than following his soulmate because he got a taste of power and wants to keep it. He didn’t even know about them without looking for me. And when I think that he’s here because he wants to use my kids, it pisses me off. All the sympathy I had for his loss goes out the window. I don’t car
I took my time going room by room to ensure all windows and doors were locked. I saved checking the windows in River and Sage’s rooms for last. Something told me going into either of their rooms wasn’t going to be an easy in-and-out experience. And since I’m dealing with teenagers, I didn’t just walk in. I knocked. Goddess knows how many times after he turned ten, I got screamed at for not knocking by Austin. “Come in, Daddy Hale.” River taunted me when I knocked at their door. Her kids will give me a migraine. I can feel it. If anything more serious develops between Erin and me, I fear for our sanities putting her twins with my son and his mate in the same space. It was scary enough to have them and Austin in the same room earlier. Then add Suzie, who is closer to River and Sage’s age, and it’s a new level of headache. “Just ensuring your windows are locked before I set the alarm.” I explained as I made my way over to their windows. Thankfully they were both already firmly locked.
Okay, I’m going to wake up any minute now. There is no way any of this is real. Men like Hale are not real. They are more fairy tales than werewolves. He’s kind and patient with my kids and treats them like anyone else. He doesn’t talk down to them and has never once misgendered them. I don’t think anyone outside of me has ever treated them that way, and even I might baby them a little because they are my babies. And if his way with my kids isn’t enough to make me believe I’m in a dream, he finds me attractive. I saw how he looked at me when he entered my room. I also saw the subtle movement in his pants. Have I mentioned I like Hale in those sweatpants? This is another reason this has to be a dream. I’m having some weird fantasy dream about my boss; he’s too hot to be into me. That’s the only explanation. For him being into me, kissing me, and saying he wants to date me. But also for this whole craziness about werewolves. Only my imagination would put me in a fantasy world where wer
I had hoped that maybe Dane wouldn’t come back. I know it was a foolish hope and not at all logical. I don’t know his personality, but that doesn’t matter; whoever he was when Erin knew him isn’t who he is now. Hell, it might not have been who he was then, either. He would have hidden a lot from Erin. His genuine personality could’ve been one of those things. If I use Siegfried as a base of what happens to a wolf’s mind after losing its mate, not only is Dane dangerous, but he’s going to strike the first chance he finds. He went through all this effort to find Erin. To find River and Sage, then there is no way he will walk away because she says so. He won’t know I’m here or Erin has any connection to the pack. So coming back at night when everyone would be in bed makes the most sense. He would believe this would make Erin and the twins vulnerable. And he would be right if I wasn’t here. I can only hope I can hold him off if/when he shows up until others from my pack can get here.
When I moved to Portland, I thought it couldn’t be worse than home. We’ve been here around a month, and my neighbors are all nice. None of them have misgendered my kids. None of them have gone off the deep end and tried to attack my kids. Everything has been chill. I was so happy living in a chill neighborhood with no drama. Little did I know I would be the one that brought drama to the neighborhood. Honestly, I may be more shocked that none of my neighbors, especially the one living in the other half of my duplex, have rushed outside. I know I’d want to investigate the sounds of snarls, growls, yelling, and the EARTH shaking. Yet not a peep. Not even a light flicked on for someone to peer through their blinds. Does Portland not have nosey people? That seems impossible. It is statistically impossible that I moved to the one place in the world where people don’t give into natural curiosity. Why am I thinking about all this when I have multiple naked people in my yard? Including the C
Having Jason back as me thrown for a loop. Feeling him come back was like awakening him all over again, and shifting hurt just as badly as it did when I was sixteen. But I suppose eighteen years of not shifting will do that. I couldn’t believe it. I’m still not sure I think this is real. Not just that, Jason is back. But when the dust had settled, so to speak, I took that breath, and it was there. Rich and musky jasmine blended with warm honey, with a bright background of heady orange blossom, filled my senses, overpowering any others. The moment the scent hit me, I knew. Not just that it was Erin but what it meant. Erin is my mate. Second chance mates are fairy tales in the werewolf community. They are rarer than having a human mate. Yet my second chance is a human. It defies logic. The chances of this happening are so slim it’s barely worth calculating. I’m not special. I’m just a nobody in our pack, white wolf or not, so how or rather why would the Goddess give me a second chance?
I know earlier, when we were going to bed, I said I’d be okay with just cuddling and that I could accept just being in Hale’s arms. I would never push Hale into doing something he’s not comfortable with. And him getting his wolf back shouldn’t change that, but I don’t know if I can do that. I mean, I will. I will if he’s not ready. Something has changed, not just about him but me, since I touched him after he got Jason back. That spark triggered something in me, like a release of hormones that had me feeling like some horny teenager. But this is better than when I was just a horny teenager. For once, I know what I’m doing and like. For another, Hale is more mature and better looking than those boys from my youth. I was feeling bold. It’s the only excuse I have for what I said. I should be blushing that I just suggested Hale undress me. I worried I might have gone too far but saw the silver ring on his iris and how his eyes darkened. There was little question about what Jason wanted.
So much has happened in the last four months that it’s still hard for me to wrap my head around it. I’m still adjusting to having Jason back, let alone to the other changes to my daily life. The weekend with Erin, the issue of her ex aside, was a good time. We were able to get to know each other more. And no, I’m not strictly speaking sexually. River and Sage enjoyed their visit to the pack house. They met several of the pack’s youths that are near their age and were able to participate in training sessions. They weren’t on the same level as their peers, but that was expected. Our pack starts training children as young as ten. So the others had years of training experience. But they are catching up quickly. Returning to the office Monday morning was interesting. Erin and I are still watercooler gossip; we’ve been together for months. And I suppose I can understand why. Human mates are rare, and second chance mates are even more uncommon. But getting my wolf back after eighteen years