Chapter 4 - Sage

I’ve been called flighty and easily distracted. I have ADHD. What do people expect? However, I’m not that way about everything. When someone is truly important, I hang onto that thought like a dog… er… wolf with a bone. Nothing, not even my ADHD, could or would distract me from this topic. Auðr is my mate, even if he won’t admit it.

My mission is to make him see and accept me as his. It might sound needy and desperate, but I am. I am needy and desperate for him to acknowledge what we are. I’m needy and desperate for him to want this, to want me. I don’t care that it sounds pathetic or toxic. I’m a werewolf, and the mere thought of him not wanting me as his mate breaks my heart.

I may regret this later, but there was no going back. I challenged Auðr. I wanted him to look me in my eyes and tell me he felt nothing. If he does, either means he’s a damn good liar, or he truly felt nothing, and being a vampire somehow makes him immune to the bond. All the humans I know mated to wolves felt the pull of the bond at first touch. I’m just banking that his vampirism doesn’t dull that.

I already knew his eyes were brown. I’m a fan. Of course, I know those things. It’s not like I’d have fantasies about him. I mean, yes, I thought he was hot, but please refer to when I previously said I’m demisexual. I can find someone attractive without having a physical desire to fuck them.

‘That was before you knew he was our mate. Whole different ball game now, Sage.’ Eclipse chuckled, aware I was distracted and lost in Auðr’s eyes.

It’s not my fault his eyes are as mesmerizing as his songs. There was so much depth to his brown eyes. They were some bland puppy, chocolate, or worse shit brown. They were more like a cognac with the flecks of gold. His pupils were fluctuating as he stared back at me. Was he trying to control his expression to lie to me?

I could hear the club beyond the door. There were no patrons yet, but employees were getting ready for opening, and I could pick up tidbits of Leo and River talking to Léonel. I could hear my heart beating faster than normal as I awaited his response.

Of all the things I could hear, the one thing I couldn’t was him. He had no heartbeat. He wasn’t even breathing. Was that normal? I mean, as he’s pointed out, he’s the undead.

“I felt nothing,” Auðr said with no emotion, yet his pupils couldn’t hold steady.

‘He’s lying!’ Eclipse growled. ‘How dare our mate lie to us.’

“You’re lying. Your voice and general demeanor don’t give it away, but your eyes do. Your pupils keep changing.” I called him out on his bullshit.

“I’m not lying.” He rolled his eyes, pupils still unable to hold a size.

“If you’re not lying, you’re on drugs or something. Because that’s not normal, even for a vampire, for your pupils to do that.” I said, shaking my head.

“Let’s get a base. What’s your name? What’s your band called? What city are we in?” I asked.

“You’re being ridiculous.” He sighed.

“Answer the questions,” I said.

“Fine. My name is Auðr. My band is Immortal Eclipse, and we are in Portland. Happy?” He asked his pupils unchanging.

“Yes. Now, let’s have you tell me a lie. Say my hair is green, and you’re straight.” I instructed.

“This is beyond stupid.” Auðr sighed. “Fine. Your hair is green. I’m straight.”

“AHAH!” I exclaimed. “Your pupils did that thing again! That’s your tell. Never play poker.” I said, triumphant.

“You felt the bond when we touched. And I bet my Jason headdress you’re going to feel the fuck out of this.” I said before closing the distance from my lips to his and kissing him.

Was that forward? Probably. Do I care? Nope. WORTH IT!

He tasted as delicious as he smelled. For all his bravado of not feeling anything when we touched, Auðr was kissing back. I’m not talking like a dead fish kiss or an absent-minded get-it-over-with kiss.

No, this man was using his tongue. I had a piece of Trident strawberry kiwi gum in my mouth. Guess what? It’s in his mouth now. That’s right, people. It was our first kiss, and he stole my gum.

He groaned. I groaned. Our tongues danced. His hands were in my hair, pulling just hard enough to still feel good. My hands were all over the place. I didn’t know what to do with them. Where do I put them? I wanted to touch so many places they couldn’t decide. My hands went from his sides to his chest to his belt.

Whoa. The belt was moving too fast.

‘Slow your roll, Eclipse.’ I blamed my wolf.

I settled for his sides, slipping my hands under his jacket. I wondered if it would be too forward to untuck or unbutton his shirt to touch his skin. If grabbing his belt was too much, I bet undressing him in any manner would be too. One kiss and I was turning into a sexual deviant like my twin.

The mate bond. I blame the mate bond. I have been told what feels like a million times by everyone in my family that a mate bond will make anyone into a horny mother fucker. And the only cure is to complete the bond.

I groaned as the kiss deepened, and his grip on my hair tightened while I got backed into furniture—a sofa. The back of my legs collided with the rolled arm of the couch, and the next thing either of us knew, I was toppling backward, bringing Auðr down with me.

While I could’ve done without the surprise sofa trust fall part, I could easily get used to the Auðr on top of me part of this situation. The only downside to this change in orientation was that Auðr pulled back from the kiss.

At that moment, as we looked at each other, his walls were down, and I saw the surprise, concern, and attraction for me. There was no stopping the smile that spread across my lips. He could show emotions. And those emotions gave away everything.

He felt the bond. Maybe he didn’t understand why or how it was possible, but he fucking felt it. And that’s okay. I don’t know why or how we’re mates, but I don’t care about why or how. I only care that he’s mine.

“Still feel nothing?” I cockily asked.

The wall was back. I could see the moment it went up, and I hated Auðr’s change in demeanor. Why is he doing that? Decades of practice at keeping people at arm’s length. I suppose being vulnerable isn’t an easy thing for a vampire. I don’t know what the number looks like for vampires having mates.

Sure, I only know five vampires with mates. Two of whom are a couple. That doesn’t give me a good base for the average number of mated vampires worldwide. We also only met, so letting me in can’t be easy. If not for the bond, I’d likely be shy, too. Being super forward, sexually speaking, is a River thing. I generally only tease and talk sexually to people I’m close to, like my family.

“I have a gig to get ready for,” Auðr said, quickly moving off me to stand.

“So? The concert doesn’t start for another….” I dug my phone out to check the time. “Hour.”

“And in that hour, I have to feed and do a sound check.” Auðr rationalized.

“Is that what you were doing when we met? Looking for someone to feed on? Is that why you approached me? For a snack?” I asked, sitting up.

My brain was struggling to rationalize everything while my emotions were in chaos. I know Auðr drinks blood. Vampire, duh. Drinking blood comes with the territory. I know Albert only drinks from blood bags because of Hana. Dani, I don’t know if she’s a blood bag or a fresh blood drinker. I think both. I mean, I know I have heard about her mate having bite marks from where she’s fed on him. I believe all the vampires in the clan are fresh blood drinkers but will settle for a blood bag if their hunt doesn’t go well.

That’s, however, OTHER vampires. It’s different. I don’t consider how the vampires in the area feed. Auðr is my mate. How would I feel about him drinking from some random person? How personal is a vampire’s feed? Movies make it sound either super violent or super intimate.

The territorial wolf in me, Eclipse, growled at the thought of Auðr’s fangs in someone else. That growl was something I’d expect if it was the mental image of Auðr fucking someone else. I am NOT a sharer.

Most werewolves aren’t into sharing unless they are one of those rare few who get more than one mate. I am not one of them. Auðr is my only mate, and Eclipse and I are in total agreement in disemboweling anyone who even hits on him.

“It’s what all of us do before a gig. We need to feed to have the energy to play for hours.” Auðr shrugged. “Are you going to be one of those people that get all squeamish about blood and that, as a vampire, I drink it?”

“So, yes,” he said. “I was looking for a pre-show snack, and you were originally on the menu.”

“Originally on the menu? Am I now off the menu?” I asked, feeling offended.

“You’re a werewolf, Sage. So, you’re off the menu. It’s not technically personal. It’s just that werewolf blood doesn’t taste good.” Auðr pinched the bridge of his nose and sighed.

“Rude. Maybe being mates will make a difference. You could feed on me if you need to feed and don’t have a blood bag.” I offered.

I wasn’t sure if I would regret offering. I knew Eclipse and I didn’t like the idea of Auðr’s fangs in someone else. It doesn’t matter that it might be about as intimate to him as eating a steak is to me.