Chapter 3 - Hale

After sending that initial message to EMomma, I’d put my phone aside. I finished work while my phone buzzed with new notifications for this Kindred Spirits app. It was getting annoying.

It’s one of the rare moments I can be relieved I don’t have Jason. He never liked the notification sounds from my cell or my computer. He called it nails on a chalkboard and would say he’d rather have someone blowing a dog whistle in his ear. He’d have crushed the phone after the second notification.

I know Jason. If I still had Jason, he would be against this dating idea. He’d probably have growled and snarled at Austin and Suzanne for signing me up. He would have seen this as an insult to Jennifer and our undying love.

And while I don’t entirely disagree with that line of thinking, I also know Jen wouldn’t have wanted me to spend my life alone and waiting for the time I could finally join her. She’d have called it morbid.

If I’m going, to be honest, I considered it several times in the first couple of years after her death. I tried to kill myself, wanting to be with her. But then I’d look at one of her photos with Austin and knew I couldn’t. I knew I couldn’t leave Austin. She’d not want our son to become an orphan.

So I’ve stuck it out. And now Austin has a mate, but I can’t leave him yet. He may not need me the same as he did as a boy, but there are still milestones I can’t miss, for my sake and Jennifer's. I have to be here to tell our grandchildren about her.

I need to stop thinking about her. Austin and Suzie signed me up on this app to help me move forward, possibly seeing there is still a chance for love even if the Goddess does not design it.

“Goddess, guide me. You too, Jen. Cause this…” I frowned, opening the app to find numerous messages. “Is terrifying and new territory.”

I cringed as I started going through the messages. I always knew the internet was a deranged place. And I am counting my blessings that this app doesn’t allow sharing of images until the third day of interactions.

These human women are bold with their messages. And all the innuendos about my screen name. MountHD? Why do they have to take a shorthand of where I live, Mount Hood, and turn it into a sexual thing? I’m not looking to get mounted.

I shuddered as I deleted yet another message suggesting a meet-up for some ‘nookie’ in the woods. Do people still say nookie? I thought that died forever ago. Did it make a resurgence, or is the woman just showing her age? I don’t know or care either. I am not on this app to get laid.

I thought to delete this and apologize to Austin and Suzie later. I’m sure they would understand that I do not want to be on an app where I’ll be bombarded with messages like these. And if they don’t understand too bad, it is, after all, my life.

I thought I’d deleted and blocked all the cringe-worthy messages, but my phone buzzed FIVE times. Groaning, I opened the app, fearful of five new messages. To my relief, it wasn’t five messages from different women, but one.

It was EMomma responding to my message. Not sure why she responded five times. Perhaps she hit the send key too many times by mistake? I furrowed my brow as I realized the messages were different, so not an error, and each one got a little further off the rails.

And while her kids signing her up for the app to go ‘Daddy Shopping’ sounds weird, it means she’s in the same boat as me of having the account created for her. And her trying to explain what she said was awkward and adorable. I just wasn’t sure how to respond.

MountHD: It’s okay. I get it. I’m in the same boat. Well, regarding how I got on this app. My son and his fiancée signed me up.

EMomma: Phew, well, I’m glad I didn’t manage to scare you off with my rambling. At least I’m not the only single parent here whose kids are meddling in their non-existent love life.

MountHD: So it seems. Though I wish I’d gotten a warning. It’s challenging to be thrown to the sharks.

MountHD: Not saying you’re a shark. It’s just dating apps, and the like isn’t something I’m used to. And people here are rather forward.

EMomma: Yeah, I don’t think of myself as a shark. You’re the first guy I’ve connected with that didn’t start with a pickup line and/or sex proposition. So I understand completely.

MountHD: *cringe emoji*

MountHD: On behalf of the male population that doesn’t do that, my sincerest apologies.

EMomma: lol, and on behalf of the female population, my apologies.

EMomma: Based on the minimal profile, I saw you’re a single father, have lived in Oregon your whole life, and enjoy nature. So guess time for twenty questions.

EMomma: Have you ever wanted to live somewhere else?

EMomma: How old are you? You said your son is engaged, but that doesn’t narrow it down.

EMomma: What do you do for a living?

EMomma: Favorite place in the area to go on a nature hike? I ask since I just moved and want to know where the good sites are.

EMomma: And it might be bold, but how are you a single father? You don’t have to go into detail if you don’t want to. It’s just not often the dad is the one raising the kid.

I sucked in a sharp breath at her last question. The others are so much easier to answer. She certainly doesn’t waste time—one thing at a time, Hale. Just tackle one question at a time. I knew people would ask eventually.

MountHD: Well, that was some rapid-fire questions. I’ll answer one at a time then.

EMomma: Sorry to bombard you. Online dating is strange, and I’d prefer to learn some basics to decide if I should keep talking to you.

EMomma: Sorry if that came out mean.

MountHD: No worries. I’ve never done online dating.

MountHD: I don’t know. I’ve never really considered living somewhere else. This is where my family and friends are. I have heard excellent things about Sicily, and maybe someday I’ll visit as my future daughter-in-law’s brother moved there.

EMomma: Oh, Italy does sound nice. I love Italian food. :)

MountHD: They do have good cuisine.

MountHD: Where are you from? Your profile said you recently moved. Is Oregon where you wanted to be, or is there a dream location to live?

EMomma: I’ve lived in a few places but moved here from Massachusetts. I moved here for a new job. It’s nice so far, the work and Oregon. As for my dream place to live, it’s less of a set location but more of somewhere that meets my requirements.

MountHD: And what are your requirements for the perfect place to live?

EMomma: I would want to be somewhere with a great arts community, plenty of nature to get out and enjoy, and a must-have is a community that is LGBTQ+ supportive and accepting.

MountHD: Well, we have plenty of all that here. My company does a lot of events year-round in support of the LGBTQ+, and many events happen around Portland and other cities during June.

EMomma: It’s a significant factor in why I took this job. That’s cool about your company. Mine does that too, and my kids can’t wait to participate in all the events.

MountHD: I don’t want to be rude, but where under the umbrella of the LGBTQ+ do your kids fall?

EMomma: It’s not rude. They are both non-binary. One is pansexual, and the other is demi-sexual. Is that going to be an issue for you? I mean, if this goes anywhere?

MountHD: Not a problem at all. My hometown is very open and accepting of everyone, no matter their differences. A bigot may have raised me, but I didn’t turn out to be one.

EMomma: Okay, good. Because that’s a deal breaker for me, my kids always come first.

MountHD: On the same page. While my son is an adult, I don’t think I could get involved with anyone who wouldn’t accept him.

MountHD: Now, back to your questions. What was next? Right age. I’m 45. I’ll be 46 in May. I would ask you, but my mother said you don’t ask a lady their age.

EMomma: I don’t mind. We’re the same age, though my birthday is in October.

MountHD: Then I don’t have to worry about a generation gap. Some messages I received had slang and shorthand that I think I’m too old to have received the translator for, lol.

EMomma: LOL. I’ve stayed up to date on it all, but my kids are fifteen, so I need to know these things.

MountHD: That makes sense. My son is 24 going on 25, so I never learned it all *shrug*

MountHD: Let’s see next question. I’m a Marketing Director. You said you moved for a job. What do you do?

EMomma: We’re in the same field! I got hired as a social media marketing administrator. So it looks like we have more than just nature and being single parents in common :)

MountHD: So it appears. Let’s see hiking recommendations.

Of course, most of my preferred areas I can’t recommend to her. I can’t tell a human about the trails around the pack. That would put everyone in danger, especially her. So I had to search my brain for hiking areas I’ve enjoyed outside the pack.

MountHD: Well, if you are closer to Portland and can handle a five-mile hike, I would say the Macleay Trail. It runs from Lower Macleay Park to Pittock Mansion. And there is a detour from that trail to the Portland Audubon Society, a wildlife rehabilitation center.

EMomma: Oh, that sounds cool. I’ll have to take my kids and check it out. Thanks.

Now came the dreaded question. I mean, I have to say something, right? I can’t and don’t want to pretend like Jennifer didn’t exist or that she abandoned me with Austin.

MountHD: As for your last question. Well, that’s a harder one to discuss. But I suppose the most straightforward answer is that I’m a widower.

There, I said it. It’s out there. And now I hold my breath to see how EMomma reacts.