Chapter 4 - Erin

Okay, this guy doesn’t give me red flags and warning sirens so far. You know the stuff I’ve ignored in all my past relationships. But I won’t get ahead of myself. If we matched, there has to be something wrong with him.

So far, he’s checking all the right boxes. He’s financially stable, my age, knows what it’s like to raise a kid solo, and is not only understanding but open-minded. Plus, he’s adorable with his answers. I won’t get my hopes up. I keep waiting for the other shoe to drop.

And there it is in his last message. So maybe him saying he’s a widower isn’t show dropping, run for the hills info. I need to approach this delicately. I don’t want to be rude or intrusive as this is our first interaction.

I want to know if it was recent and if he’s still hung up on his wife. I probably shouldn’t keep talking to him if he's still focused on his wife. If he’s still mourning for her, I don’t want to be that rebound, plus I don’t want to invest in a man who won’t invest in me.

It took me a few moments to decide how to approach this. Again discussing a deceased spouse or lover is a delicate conversation. And even if this means he should probably delete the app, or maybe we only talk as friends, I don’t want to put my foot in my mouth. I’m new to the area, so having a friend wouldn’t be the worst.

EMomma: I’m sorry for your loss.

EMomma: I don’t want to sound rude, and of course, you don’t have to answer. How long ago did your wife pass?

I held my breath as I watched the flashing dots indicating his typing. I can’t imagine how hard this probably is for him, especially if it was recently. But if it was recently, would his son have signed him up? I doubt a child would encourage a parent to move on from the death of their other parent too quickly.

MountHD: It’s been… eighteen going on nineteen years.

Wow! Okay, so that might be a good thing. It’s been nearly two decades, so he should have processed his grief, and maybe his son is trying to give him this nudge to get back into dating. Better than him saying it was last year or something. Now I’m wondering whether he hasn’t dated or just hasn’t dated online.

EMomma: I see. I’m sorry if I’m coming off weird. I don’t know what to say in this situation.

MountHD: It’s okay. No one does. I don’t even know what to say. Cause I don’t want to sit here and go on some long tangent talking about her. Because even if I’ve not done the dating scene stuff, I at least know talking at length and especially fondly of a previous relationship is how you have someone stop talking to you.

EMomma: Yeah, that’s probably true.

EMomma: But if you want to talk about her, you can. I won’t get offended. She was your wife, and even if it’s been a long time since she passed away, she was an essential part of your life.

MountHD: I probably shouldn’t. I doubt your kids signed you up on this app to listen to some random widower talk at length about his wife. I also know my son and daughter-in-law wouldn’t want me to focus on what I’ve lost when they try to get me to date.

EMomma: lol, fair. Just know you can if you want to. If this goes anywhere, discussing exes is an important step.

MountHD: exes would imply I’ve been with anyone but her.

EMomma: So your wife was your only relationship? No one before or after her?

MountHD: No. We met in high school and were married as soon as we were both old. And after her, I couldn’t bring myself even to consider it.

MountHD: I’m on here because my son urged me, and if he even thinks it’s time, maybe I should try. And now I’m here talking to you.

EMomma: :) Well, I’m glad we’re talking. I admire you; you knew she was the one, and while tragically she passed away young, you got to know that kind of real love.

MountHD: Um, thanks? I’m not sure how to take that. But thanks. However, you make it sound like you haven’t known that kind of love. What about your children’s father?

I wrinkled my nose as he mentioned my ex. Dane Blackburn is hands down the worst of every man I had ever been with. And it was just my luck that’s the one a condom breaks with.

EMomma: I attract the wrong kind of guys. I always ignored the toxic assholes with lots of red flags because they had the bad boy look, and I had some foolish notion they could be good inside, or I could change them.

MountHD: Ahh... so the father falls into that category. Not to pry, and you don’t have to answer, but is he involved in their lives?

EMomma: No, thank God. He was the worst of my exes. I was glad he ditched me before I told him I was pregnant. My kids don’t need a guy like him around. And as much as I hate him, he gave me my kids. And they are the best part of my life, even if they are like sour patch kids in human form, lol.

MountHD: Sour patch kids? Do you mean gummy candy with a sour coating but a sweet flavor?

EMomma: Exactly! Sometimes they are troublemakers, but they are the sweetest at other times. They’re on the wild side and do whatever comes to mind—giving me plenty of scares over the years.

MountHD: That might be all kids. My son was such a sweet boy but losing his mother took its toll, and he changed. It’s my fault that for so many years, he became an asshole.

EMomma: I doubt it was your fault. Everyone deals with grief in their way. And often, kids lash out.

MountHD: Yes, but I wasn’t present enough. I’d shut down those early years, and my parents stepped in to help raise him. So, it’s on me that he emulated my bigot father.

EMomma: You were grieving too. But I’m assuming your son came around later

MountHD: Yes, but at a cost.

EMomma: A cost?

I can’t imagine what cost there could be. But then again, something had to trigger his son’s change probably. No one changes because they woke up and decided not to be an asshole. It felt like forever watching those flashing dots. What’s MountHD writing a novel?

MountHD: My son had been preparing to join the army and several years ago went to Sicily with some others to something like a training camp. It was a way to physically and mentally prepare individuals to know what being a soldier and going to war could be like.

EMomma: That sounds odd, but I guess simulated war is better than real. What happened?

MountHD: Yeah. Well, it wasn’t stimulated enough. My son was in an incident of his fault for not following orders, resulting in his injury. He lost his left leg from the knee down.

EMomma: *gif of Barbie covering her mouth in a gasp* Wow! That’s intense. You said it was several years ago, but still. Is he okay?

MountHD: Yes, he’s doing fine now. But while he was in the hospital, one of the men in charge gave him some advice after witnessing my son’s behavior throughout the camp. And when he returned home, he’d pondered that advice and decided the man was right and chose to change.

MountHD: He let go of the backward mindset my father instilled in him. He took charge of his life and made a plan he wanted, rather than what my father wanted. After recovering from the injury, he went to college and is currently a physical therapist. It was a good thing, too, as it was through his job that he re-met his now fiancé and the sparks first started.

EMomma: Oh wow! That must have been some advice. And wait, re-met? So, he knew her before?

MountHD: Yes, she’s the daughter of a friend of mine. He even grew up as friends with her older brother. It had just been years since he’d last seen her. It’s all rather cute. And her parents and I are thrilled they are together.

“MOM!!!” River shouted, coming out to the living room and rubbing their eyes.

“You don’t need to shout. I’m not deaf.” I rolled my eyes. “What’s wrong?” I questioned, turning my head to look at them.

“It’s midnight, and you’ve still got all these lights on, and it’s keeping me awake. What’s so interesting on your phone? Don’t tell me you already found a daddy.” River taunted, trying to look at my phone.

I quickly pressed my phone to my chest to block them. I don’t need them reading my messages. I hadn’t realized I’d been talking to MountHD for so long. It doesn’t feel like it’s been hours.

“I’ll turn off the lights and go to bed shortly. So go back to bed and don’t worry about my social life.” I waved a hand at them.

“Uh-huh. Don’t stay up too late sexting.” River snickered, dashing away.

“I’M NOT SEXTING!” I yelled.

“WHATEVER YOU SAY, MOM!” The chores of River and Sage shouted back.

Ugh, I was right to call them sour patch kid—little turds. I love them, though. Sighing, I take my phone from my chest to message MountHD.

EMomma: Well, I’m glad he turned his life around and was able to find happiness with a girl he probably hadn’t considered before.

EMomma: Not to cut this short, my kid just came out to scold me for being up at midnight. *eye roll emoji* So I’m going to sign off. I have work in the morning.

MountHD: Is it really that late? Shit. Well, have a goodnight EMomma. Like you, I should sleep so I can function at work tomorrow.

EMomma: Night, MountHD.

I smiled as I turned off the lights and checked the locks as I headed for my room. I’m not still undecided about MountHD and his potential to be more than just someone to talk to. I hope he wants to continue talking. But for now, I had a good time talking to him.

I was in a rush as we got a late start. Of course, my kids taunted me the whole morning, from when we woke up to when I dropped them off at school. They think I stayed up too late sexting someone on the app. They didn’t listen when I said I was only talking and nothing sexual with a match.

I wished I had worn flats as I was trying to run in my red leather three-inch heels, and I’m sure the pencil bottom of my gray ruched, cross-over shift dress was making running any easier. I cannot be late even by a few seconds today. I have a meeting with Mr. Shelton bright and early.

I need to make the right impression on this guy. I’m new here and have to prove I was worth not just hiring but moving all the way here. I just made it to my desk, out of breath, but damn it, I made it. I’d just booted up my computer and punched in when Mr. Andrews stopped at my desk.

“Morning, Erin. Ready for the meeting with Mr. Shelton?” Mr. Andrews smiled.

I don’t have any issues with my boss, but does he have to be so chipper in the morning while reminding me I’m meeting with his boss in five minutes. As if I wasn’t nervous enough. It’ll be my first sit down with Mr. Shelton, and while I’m sure he’s some douchebag like most men I find attractive, he is still handsome.

“Yes, sir. I’m prepared.” I assured him, holding up my company tablet with multiple ideas ready to present.

“Good. Mr. Shelton isn’t easily impressed, but I’ve looked over your ideas, and I’m sure he’ll like them.” Mr. Andrews nodded as he walked away.

I did a triple-check of my presentations before heading to Mr. Shelton’s office at the other end of the department. Taking a deep breath, I knocked on the office door.

“Enter.” The rich voice of Mr. Shelton called out.

Damn, even his voice is hot. Stop thinking about him that way. Remember, there must be a huge character flaw that would take all that sexiness and make him hideous.

Yeah, that’s what I keep telling myself as I step into his office. He’s even better-looking up close, sitting at his desk, blonde hair neatly combed with a touch of gray on the sides. His blue eyes focused on his laptop, brow furrowed slightly, his hand holding his chin in thought.

He was the clean-cut man I generally avoided with his black suit jacket and dark red sweater over a crisp white dress shirt. I don’t care how good he looks. I know that appearances can be deceiving.

I cleared my throat, unsure what to do. I didn’t want to assume I should sit but standing here was also getting awkward.

“Please take a seat, Miss Carlisle. I’ll be with you in just a moment.” He didn’t even look away from his computer as he gestured with his free hand to a chair.

“Of course, Mr. Shelton.” I nodded, trying not to let the dismissive gesture annoy me.

I’m calling it now; this meeting will not go well.