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Chapter 37
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2024-10-29 19:42:56Cassandra
My eyes keep shifting between my boyfriend and the ginger-haired woman standing in his apartment.
A beautiful, skinny, half-naked, ginger-haired woman.
Her full breasts fill the white laced bra she is sporting and those sweatpants ride low on her hips. Those dark, worn sweatpants that I would recognize anywhere, hang from her skinny waist. They are the same sweatpants Drew has worn on several occasions during nights I have stayed here with him. Sweatpants that I never wore. I never wore any of his clothes.My breath catches and I shoot Drew a flat look. My insides rip at the seams and I swallow the enormous lump that has formed in my throat."Drew, what is this? Who is she?" I ask, my voice is barely audible."No one. She is no one to me, babe. I swear." He shakes his head frantically, his blue eyes tearing up. Panic is laced in his tone."Did you-" I begin but the words are too painful to ask. My jaw clRelated chapters
Blinded By The Past Chapter 38
CrayvinThe Phoenix sun scorches my skin each time I have had to get out of the unit today. Dispatch has been calling us over the radio nonstop. An accident, theft, domestic violence... we have had one or more of each call so far and it is only 4:00 p.m.Cassandra and I cruise around the city in silence. It's the first silence we have experienced today without being radioed. The AC is on full blast but it doesn't help the sweat that I feel trickling down my torso. I glance over at Cassandra to make sure her face is still glued to the window, watching her surroundings, before I lift my hips and adjust myself real quick.Getting in and out of this 120° F weather with 95 percent humidity is taking its toll.I am literally sweating my balls off.I finish off the rest of my water bottle and put it back in the cup holder next to Cassandra's half-empty nut juice - okay, her shake - before making a right turn. I have noticed for the past
Blinded By The Past Chapter 39
Cassandra"Where's Patricia?" I ask when Crayvin walks back into the living room alone.I hold the remote in my hand and was ready to press play, but now it looks as if movie night may be over. Crayvin sets his glass of juice onto the black coffee table and sinks his large body into the love seat. When we had started watching the first movie, I thought I was going to feel awkward the entire time. But, once I moved to the floor to lay with Chunk, I pretty much forgot that Patricia and Crayvin were behind me on the couch, cuddling."She went home," Crayvin says, keeping his eyes focused on the screen."She left? Is everything okay?" I ask with a pointed look, holding my weight on one arm as I look back at him.Crayvin shrugs nonchalantly and nods. "Yeah, everything is fine. She has to work in the morning.""Oh okay. Well, I can go if-""No," Crayvin interrupts me. He clears his throat and rubs the back of his neck a
Blinded By The Past Chapter 40
Crayvin"I think the hairy one is my favorite character," I say. We finally finished watching the last Star Wars movie last night.I will never admit it to Cassandra, but I have actually really enjoyed the last few nights just hanging out. I have never had a movie night with a girl that was just a friend. If women in my past ever hit me up wanting to watch a movie, it was code for 'sex.'"Chewbacca?" Cassandra pulls her brows together and waves her finger at me teasingly with a smile. "Don't pretend like you didn't remember his name. You forget that during the past four nights we have had a movie night, I have seen how invested you have gotten. I fell asleep during the one, and woke up to you practically drooling over slave Leia.""Cassandra, I am a man. Of course, I was eye-fucking the half-naked woman on the screen. That outfit was... holy shit." I smirk, knowing that she is grossed out and looking at me. I rub my chin with my index f
Blinded By The Past Chapter 41
Cassandra"I almost relapsed yesterday," I admit. Although honest, the words practically burn my throat as I say them."Okay, let us focus on that. The keyword is almost. What made you stop yourself from making yourself vomit?" Loraine asks me.I have been seeing my therapist Loraine for a little over a year now. Ever since the night of my father and sister's intervention for me, I have ceased to make myself throw up again. Every Friday afternoon is Loraine's time under the deal I made with my dad.I haven't missed one appointment."To be honest, I am not sure. My mind was kind of everywhere. I just remember sitting there watching a movie after dinner and I felt bloated. The movie I was watching was about a girl that goes to prom and the guy she had a crush on finally sees how beautiful she is."I sigh as I fidget in my primitive outfit. The leather chair squeaks just slig
Blinded By The Past Chapter 42
CrayvinGorgeous, breathtakingly beautiful, elegant.These are some of the words that swarm through me the second she walks out of the room in that black dress. Yet, all that I could manage to say to her was that she looked great too; and even with that, I struggled. The air has been knocked out of me, not allowing me to speak. That has never happened to me before.Cassandra is a damn knockout.I wonder if it is just my man brain fucking with me. I am not used to being just friends with a woman. If they were my friends, then that title usually included with benefits. I also haven't been with anyone since Patricia, so maybe I'm just horny.When we arrived at the Japanese restaurant for dinner, we are escorted by the hostess to a separate room behind red curtains. Tarra had made reservations for Cassandra's birthday so we have a secluded teppan grill.Tarra and Miles sit down first, and before Cassandra could take a seat I pull ou
Blinded By The Past Chapter 43
Cassandra"What's up, Sissy? Why have you been so quiet today?" Tarra asks as she takes a seat next to me in the open bow part of the boat.Miles and Crayvin continue to talk as Miles drives the boat on the open lake. The weather is hot as usual, but my hair feels amazing as it flies back in the wind, whipping my thoughts around and around. I didn't realize I was being so quiet as my sister claims. I managed to jump out of the boat today and into the lake a few times. This meant I removed my bikini cover, something that I did not do yesterday.But, now that she points it out, I guess I really haven't said much today.How could I, though?All that has been on my mind since the moment Crayvin admitted it, is that at one point in my life, Crayvin Smith thought I was cute.Me... Cassandra Juliet Porsse. And at the time he liked me, I was fat.What he told me is a large pill to swallow, and I can't quite wrap my head aro
Blinded By The Past Chapter 44
CassandraWhen I woke up this morning, I wasn't in my comfortable bed. I was on a couch, and not in my hotel room. Sitting up, I lean back and groan, pressing my hand to the side of my banging head.Seriously, it is as if someone is up there playing the drums.I look down and notice I am still wearing my clothes from last night. To my relief, my sister walks out of the hotel bedroom, ridding any worries I had that I may have been in a stranger's room."Tarra?" My voice is as dry as the desert."Good morning, sunshine. We are packing up and getting ready to go in about thirty minutes."I rise from the couch slowly, feeling nauseous beyond comprehension. "What happened last night? Why did I sleep in here?""You got drunk and said you didn't want to go up to motorboat dude's room, and Crayvin left early with your key card, so Miles and I just took you back here," she explains.I remember Crayvin leaving, but the d
Blinded By The Past Chapter 45
CassandraWe loaded all of our stuff in Miles' truck and began driving. Since no one was all that hungry, we decided to just stop at a local coffee joint, and the guys went in to get the drinks. Keeping the tinted windows up and my shades on, trying anything and everything to keep this sun out of my face, I lie down and take my phone out of my pocket. It was dead all morning, so when I turn the power on, my heart twists in my chest as soon as I read a text from Crayvin.Crayvin: Cassandra we can't. No matter how much I may or may not want to. You are drunk and don't mean what you are saying. I am getting dropped off at the hotel now, please be careful.I shoot straight up and frantically begin scanning all the messages. My heart pounds rapidly against my ribcage as I read all of my drunken words that I said to him. Once I find my solicitation to him, I toss my phone to the floor of the truck and arch my head b
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Blinded By The Past Chapter 75
CassandraThe last time I sat in a therapist's lobby for the first time, I was full of disbelief, destruction, doubt, and anger. My father brought me to Dr. Loraine, so I felt forced, trapped almost. Now, I see how therapy truly works if you open yourself up to it.One year since my last therapy session with Loraine, I sit in another therapist's lobby office. While again I am here not out of personal choice, my perspective is to just finish this so that I can go back on duty."Cassandra Porsse?" I rise from the chair I had been sitting in for almost twenty minutes when a tall woman calls me."That's me," I admit nervously.With a small, genuine smile, the woman tucks a piece of her toffee blonde hair that fell from her messy bun behind her ear and extends her hand. Her clothes are sleek and professional. A huge contrast to the colorful Lorraine, she wears a black conservative two-piece suit. The skirt is knee-
Blinded By The Past Chapter 74
CassandraFat ass. Short ass. Miss Piggy. Ugly piece of lard. Fat piece of shit. Oompa Loompa.These are only some of the names my peers would call me at school. Though now homeschooled, even the distance from my tormentors wasn't enough to ease all of the damage. While leaving was some relief, the memory of how I was treated also left with me like mental scars.I hate that place. I hated it so much that I nearly made Tarra late every morning as I dragged my feet every step. Up to the point before I left, I'm surprised she didn't place Dad's cuffs around my wrists to force my ass there. But she knows why I hate it. The constant bullying, the ear-deafening cackles, skinny bitches, and asshole guys are everyday torture that I succumbed to.My weakness, my attachment to the hateful comments and treatment, is what brought me here, to Loraine's office. Last night, Tarra and Dad dropped the bomb on me tha
Blinded By The Past Chapter 73
CassandraI remember when my Dad would watch UFC fights and the loud sound of fists hitting faces and crunching bones would make me cringe.None of those fights compared to the sound Tarra made when her palm connected with Drew's cheek. The echo practically radiates through our apartment and I am eternally grateful it didn't cause Crayvin -who is still tending to the burning sauce- to come running out.Tarra's fiery gaze was enough to make me want to bunker down and cower, and I wasn't even the one on the receiving end of that glare."In case that slap across your face didn't knock some sense into your dense, Marshmallow ass, I'll repeat myself. What the fuck do you want?" Tarra spits.Drew releases a tear as he brings the palm of his hand over his now reddened cheek.Pretty sure the tear isn't from the slap though."I deserved that but look, I don't want to fight. I was hoping to have a word with Cassandra," he says and th
Blinded By The Past Chapter 72
CassandraDeath is on its own clock and I could have sworn I heard the ticking stop when the bullet struck me. I will not forget the feeling of leaving everything and everyone I love. Scared shitless, I remember frantically pulling at the hem of Crayvin's shirt as I continued to bleed out, begging for him to save me. The look he gave me still shatters me to my very core, the look that reminds me of how my near-death experience nearly broke the man that I love.Though, if given the chance to save his life, I would do it all over again.When my sister rushes to the hospital, a strong sense of guilt hits me like a tidal wave when she smacks my arm after smothering me in hugs and tears. "You sissy swore we would always be there for one another. How the fuck did you expect to stand by that promise by jumping in front of a bullet? Never. Never do that to me again, Cassandra Juliet Porsse," she demands.Tarra is eerily quiet as I am finally leav
Blinded By The Past Chapter 71
CrayvinAs a police officer, I've seen a lot of shit in the past four years. I've seen the worst in some people, a lot of bad accidents and circumstances, pure evil monstrosities where bodies were involved in a pool of blood. While some days are harder than others, four years on the force hardened me against the harsh realities, like an emotional set of armor.All those years of hardened resolve were shattered the instant two bullets pierced through the body of the woman I love.My mind is going crazy from what little sleep I don't get. A recurring nightmare makes me feel as if I am stuck on a carousel, going round and round on the highest frequency. The same dream resurfaces when I close my eyes; it's never-ending. Each time the carousel circles, I see red... blotches and blotches of red.The same red that had stained Cassandra's white top when she was shot. The same blood red that coated my hands.When we get to the hospital, Cassa
Blinded By The Past Chapter 70
Tarra"Tarra, come here my love so I can get a good look at you," my mother says in an unrecognizably brittle voice, crooking her pale finger at me and motioning for me to approach.I look at my father, who gives me a weak smile and an encouraging nod. Sucking in a sharp breath of air, smelling the sterile, nearly choking environment of my mother's confined hospital room, I rise from my chair and shuffle small strides to stand by her side. Cassandra, her eyes glossy and red, kisses Mom on the cheek, then walks away. She takes my previous seat next to Dad, burying her head into him."Mom," I croak at her bedside. "Are you going to get better?"I stare at my mother's small body and dark eyes. Her beautiful features resemble my little sister so much that the comparison hurts to acknowledge.Our mother was always beautiful, full of laughter and light. Looking at her now, I don't recognize her. Wher
Blinded By The Past Chapter 69
CassandraHave you ever wanted something so badly in your life, that when you finally get it, it's taken from you just as fast? Leaving your heart completely and utterly broken. You were happy one moment, and then fucking destroyed and shattered the next.Well, me too. That's exactly how I feel now. Finally landing the guy that I have always wanted, just to lose him the second I do.Two shots were fired and there was no taking them back. Once the two bullets were released from the barrel, they had to go somewhere, right?It was like the world decided I looked too happy and in one moment the reason for my happiness was removed from my life."Crayvin!" I shriek.I drop to my knees, hitting the gravel parking lot. My pants are immediately pebbled with debris and dirt. My eyes quickly avert to Drew who charges towards Stormy. He yanks the gun from her grasp and takes her to the ground, holding her wrists behind he
Blinded By The Past Chapter 68
Cassandra"Tarra!" I call out, scrunching my nose. "Mommy and Daddy are kissing again!" I whine, deliberately forcing myself to look into the contents of my cereal bowl, rather than my disgusting, groping parents.Tarra giggles as she joins us at the table, excitement in her eyes. "I can't wait to be in love," she coos.I stick my tongue out. "Eww, gross. Boys are nasty.""You say that now because you're only ten. Wait until you grow up, you will have a whole different outlook," Tarra argues.I shake my head, dismissing that thought, because... no. All the boys in my school are gross. I have seen some pick their nose and eat their boogies, scratch their booties while at recess, and the other ones are mean. They never leave me alone. My mother and sister say it's because they have a crush on me since they act like that, but I beg to differ.If you like someone, why would you be m
Blinded By The Past Chapter 67
CrayvinWhen I manage to drag myself off of the pavement and into my house, Piggy is sitting in the foyer with droopy, sad eyes. A rush of guilt hits me like a damned truck, causing me to not be able to see clearly. A sea of thoughts floods my mind.I want approval.Acceptance.Forgiveness.I want her to see that I can, in fact, be a good guy. I don't want her to think I am some kind of monster that she has to starve herself to be with."I don't deserve you in any way, do I?" I say quietly more to myself than anything.I rake my hands through my hair, exhaling as I avert my stare to the floor.What the fuck is wrong with me?I bury myself into willing women's bodies who let me fuck my cares away. Any trauma or shit that I see at work, is gone and replaced by unchained pleasure. Uncommitted fun, no loyalties.But, then I look at Cassandra, and it's like someone releases the chains around my heart. I want to er
