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Chapter 30
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2024-10-29 19:42:56Cassandra
High school is never easy, especially if you're sitting low on the social totem pole, which I am. I always was. Since starting my sophomore year, I have successfully dropped two pant sizes and was regularly working out with a good diet that mainly consisted of meat, vegetables, and fruit.
One morning, I stepped on the scale and was ecstatic to see that I was now under two hundred pounds; which was a great contrast to my whopping two-fifty pounds.
Suck on that, Crayvin Smith. Wherever he may be now, he can suck it. Last I had heard, he's attending a university. No doubt, playing football.After I finish my studies for the day, I open Dad's bedroom door and pop my head in, letting him know I was going out for a walk. In a sluggish response, he replies with a simple okay and to be safe before he falls back to a deep slumber.I shut the door and began walking towards the local lRelated chapters
Blinded By The Past Chapter 31
CassandraMy phone buzzes and the vibration against my flesh wakes me up, startling me. I groan, trying to pry my heavy eyes open. I'm so exhausted that my eyes feel as if they have been sealed shut. Sunlight streams in from the crack in the curtain or a nearby window, whose warmth reflects on my legs.I open my eyes and find that I am still on the couch, leaning against the end with my legs curled up. Tarra's head rests on my legs, her lengthy body stretched out onto our white couch. Her dark brown hair is fanned out over my legs, making me sweat from the body heat radiating from her bare neck on my legs.I slide my hand under my thigh where my phone is buzzing, being careful not to wake Tarra. It's a text from Crayvin.Crayvin: Where you at, Peanut?I scroll down, realizing he has sent another.Crayvin: Peanut, you better not be bailing today.And another after that.Crayvin: Get dressed. I got your fucking n
Blinded By The Past Chapter 32
CrayvinI dig in my pocket to fish out my phone when it vibrates again and open the text from Cassandra.Cassandra: Hey, am I able to grab a water bottle? Also, I can't find Piggy's favorite chew toy.I let out a small chuckle as I shook my head and reply to her. This is the fourth time she has texted me. Each time she asks for simple things, if she can get the dog food out of the closet or if she can turn the TV on.Me: You don't listen, Peanut. I told you, make yourself at home. There are waters in my refrigerator and I think his chew toy is upstairs in my bedroom. He has been sleeping in my bed with me. I told you that the dog bed you bought him was a waste of money.Instantly, the little dots appear on my phone and I hold it up, waiting for her text to come through.Cassandra: The names Cassandra, not Peanut! And Piggy and I will manage without his chew toy. I'm not going into your lair.Me: My lair? Really? I'm not som
Blinded By The Past Chapter 33
Cassandra"Mmm, good morning," Drew says sweetly."Morning," I reply. He leans in and brushes his lips against mine. His lips are warm to the touch; probably from his coffee.He gets off of the bed, already dressed in his uniform, and walks around to my side of the bed, extending his hand out towards me.Damn, he looks good in that uniform.I think to myself as I admire the way his uniform pants hug his ass."Time to get up," he says, giving a chortle.I groan as I take his hand and sit up, still tired from last night. After I left Crayvin's, I came here to hang out for a little while. And after having a bunch of foreplay, I fell asleep. I'd be lying if I said it wasn't great though; waking up in Drew's embrace."Thanks for letting me come over last night."Drew grins at the double meaning, knowing that I had reached that high when he had gone down on me, bringing my body to a satisfied exhaustion."Y
Blinded By The Past Chapter 34
CassandraCrayvin and I reach the house on Dysart and my stomach turns. People and cars flood the street. A swarm of echoes whirls around, the hushed voices of people standing by, trying to catch a glimpse of the action. Sirens are continuously booming as I hear the medical team calling demands, and loud, hysterical sobbing. We park between the ambulance and Drew's patrol unit, blocking some of the view to the nosy folks across the street.My eyes scan the area and my chest squeezes when I don't spot Drew. My eyes land on his partner Bobby and an investigator rolling out the yellow caution tape and surrounding the area. Not waiting for Crayvin to get out, I dash towards Bobby, practically barreling through anything and anyone in my path."Bobby!" I yell out, making him nearly jump out of his boots. He turns around to face me, his hands still holding the tape. "Where is Drew?"He frowns and points a finger towards the ambulance and
Blinded By The Past Chapter 35
Crayvin"It's alright, sir. Just make sure to follow the speed limit next time and always keep proof of insurance on you while driving." Cassandra waves the male driver off, we walk back to the unit, and hop in.After she buckles up, she pulls her phone out and sighs.Again. This must be the hundredth time she has done that today."Okay, what's up, Peanut? I have watched you look at your phone all day today and you look like my Grams when the nursing home tries to feed her applesauce. Which she despises, by the way."She slides her phone back into her pocket, her eyes lingering over her hands that she laid against her thighs. "Has..." she begins, but stops herself for some reason. "Have you talked to Drew?" She asks.I shake my head, "No, not really. A few texts here and there. He has been busy with therapy, and then with everything that happened, he just wanted to be alone. Why?"She sighs and shrugs her narrow shoulders.
Blinded By The Past Chapter 36
CrayvinDrew's eyes widen in feigned shock as I yell at him. Hastily, he pulls up his jeans and buttons them up. He looks over at the redhead and whispers, "Go tell Janet we are leaving. We can drop her off."Dana, the redhead, nods her head and struts back towards the bar to get her friend. Wobbling in her high heels against the gravel parking lot, I frown when she reaches the door without eating shit first. I also notice how Drew's lust filled eyes follow her the entire way."Drew, what the hell are you doing!?""What does it look like?" He asks as he pulls out another cigarette from his back pocket and lights it."It looks like you're being an ass and cheating on your girlfriend. Come on, Drew, this isn't who you are. Don't go home with her."Drew takes a deep inhale and blows the smoke in my face. With an angry hand, I fan the smoke out of my face and furrow my brows with a scowl.He knows I hate that shit.His f
Blinded By The Past Chapter 37
CassandraMy eyes keep shifting between my boyfriend and the ginger-haired woman standing in his apartment.A beautiful, skinny, half-naked, ginger-haired woman.Her full breasts fill the white laced bra she is sporting and those sweatpants ride low on her hips. Those dark, worn sweatpants that I would recognize anywhere, hang from her skinny waist. They are the same sweatpants Drew has worn on several occasions during nights I have stayed here with him. Sweatpants that I never wore. I never wore any of his clothes.My breath catches and I shoot Drew a flat look. My insides rip at the seams and I swallow the enormous lump that has formed in my throat."Drew, what is this? Who is she?" I ask, my voice is barely audible."No one. She is no one to me, babe. I swear." He shakes his head frantically, his blue eyes tearing up. Panic is laced in his tone."Did you-" I begin but the words are too painful to ask. My jaw cl
Blinded By The Past Chapter 38
CrayvinThe Phoenix sun scorches my skin each time I have had to get out of the unit today. Dispatch has been calling us over the radio nonstop. An accident, theft, domestic violence... we have had one or more of each call so far and it is only 4:00 p.m.Cassandra and I cruise around the city in silence. It's the first silence we have experienced today without being radioed. The AC is on full blast but it doesn't help the sweat that I feel trickling down my torso. I glance over at Cassandra to make sure her face is still glued to the window, watching her surroundings, before I lift my hips and adjust myself real quick.Getting in and out of this 120° F weather with 95 percent humidity is taking its toll.I am literally sweating my balls off.I finish off the rest of my water bottle and put it back in the cup holder next to Cassandra's half-empty nut juice - okay, her shake - before making a right turn. I have noticed for the past
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Blinded By The Past Chapter 75
CassandraThe last time I sat in a therapist's lobby for the first time, I was full of disbelief, destruction, doubt, and anger. My father brought me to Dr. Loraine, so I felt forced, trapped almost. Now, I see how therapy truly works if you open yourself up to it.One year since my last therapy session with Loraine, I sit in another therapist's lobby office. While again I am here not out of personal choice, my perspective is to just finish this so that I can go back on duty."Cassandra Porsse?" I rise from the chair I had been sitting in for almost twenty minutes when a tall woman calls me."That's me," I admit nervously.With a small, genuine smile, the woman tucks a piece of her toffee blonde hair that fell from her messy bun behind her ear and extends her hand. Her clothes are sleek and professional. A huge contrast to the colorful Lorraine, she wears a black conservative two-piece suit. The skirt is knee-
Blinded By The Past Chapter 74
CassandraFat ass. Short ass. Miss Piggy. Ugly piece of lard. Fat piece of shit. Oompa Loompa.These are only some of the names my peers would call me at school. Though now homeschooled, even the distance from my tormentors wasn't enough to ease all of the damage. While leaving was some relief, the memory of how I was treated also left with me like mental scars.I hate that place. I hated it so much that I nearly made Tarra late every morning as I dragged my feet every step. Up to the point before I left, I'm surprised she didn't place Dad's cuffs around my wrists to force my ass there. But she knows why I hate it. The constant bullying, the ear-deafening cackles, skinny bitches, and asshole guys are everyday torture that I succumbed to.My weakness, my attachment to the hateful comments and treatment, is what brought me here, to Loraine's office. Last night, Tarra and Dad dropped the bomb on me tha
Blinded By The Past Chapter 73
CassandraI remember when my Dad would watch UFC fights and the loud sound of fists hitting faces and crunching bones would make me cringe.None of those fights compared to the sound Tarra made when her palm connected with Drew's cheek. The echo practically radiates through our apartment and I am eternally grateful it didn't cause Crayvin -who is still tending to the burning sauce- to come running out.Tarra's fiery gaze was enough to make me want to bunker down and cower, and I wasn't even the one on the receiving end of that glare."In case that slap across your face didn't knock some sense into your dense, Marshmallow ass, I'll repeat myself. What the fuck do you want?" Tarra spits.Drew releases a tear as he brings the palm of his hand over his now reddened cheek.Pretty sure the tear isn't from the slap though."I deserved that but look, I don't want to fight. I was hoping to have a word with Cassandra," he says and th
Blinded By The Past Chapter 72
CassandraDeath is on its own clock and I could have sworn I heard the ticking stop when the bullet struck me. I will not forget the feeling of leaving everything and everyone I love. Scared shitless, I remember frantically pulling at the hem of Crayvin's shirt as I continued to bleed out, begging for him to save me. The look he gave me still shatters me to my very core, the look that reminds me of how my near-death experience nearly broke the man that I love.Though, if given the chance to save his life, I would do it all over again.When my sister rushes to the hospital, a strong sense of guilt hits me like a tidal wave when she smacks my arm after smothering me in hugs and tears. "You sissy swore we would always be there for one another. How the fuck did you expect to stand by that promise by jumping in front of a bullet? Never. Never do that to me again, Cassandra Juliet Porsse," she demands.Tarra is eerily quiet as I am finally leav
Blinded By The Past Chapter 71
CrayvinAs a police officer, I've seen a lot of shit in the past four years. I've seen the worst in some people, a lot of bad accidents and circumstances, pure evil monstrosities where bodies were involved in a pool of blood. While some days are harder than others, four years on the force hardened me against the harsh realities, like an emotional set of armor.All those years of hardened resolve were shattered the instant two bullets pierced through the body of the woman I love.My mind is going crazy from what little sleep I don't get. A recurring nightmare makes me feel as if I am stuck on a carousel, going round and round on the highest frequency. The same dream resurfaces when I close my eyes; it's never-ending. Each time the carousel circles, I see red... blotches and blotches of red.The same red that had stained Cassandra's white top when she was shot. The same blood red that coated my hands.When we get to the hospital, Cassa
Blinded By The Past Chapter 70
Tarra"Tarra, come here my love so I can get a good look at you," my mother says in an unrecognizably brittle voice, crooking her pale finger at me and motioning for me to approach.I look at my father, who gives me a weak smile and an encouraging nod. Sucking in a sharp breath of air, smelling the sterile, nearly choking environment of my mother's confined hospital room, I rise from my chair and shuffle small strides to stand by her side. Cassandra, her eyes glossy and red, kisses Mom on the cheek, then walks away. She takes my previous seat next to Dad, burying her head into him."Mom," I croak at her bedside. "Are you going to get better?"I stare at my mother's small body and dark eyes. Her beautiful features resemble my little sister so much that the comparison hurts to acknowledge.Our mother was always beautiful, full of laughter and light. Looking at her now, I don't recognize her. Wher
Blinded By The Past Chapter 69
CassandraHave you ever wanted something so badly in your life, that when you finally get it, it's taken from you just as fast? Leaving your heart completely and utterly broken. You were happy one moment, and then fucking destroyed and shattered the next.Well, me too. That's exactly how I feel now. Finally landing the guy that I have always wanted, just to lose him the second I do.Two shots were fired and there was no taking them back. Once the two bullets were released from the barrel, they had to go somewhere, right?It was like the world decided I looked too happy and in one moment the reason for my happiness was removed from my life."Crayvin!" I shriek.I drop to my knees, hitting the gravel parking lot. My pants are immediately pebbled with debris and dirt. My eyes quickly avert to Drew who charges towards Stormy. He yanks the gun from her grasp and takes her to the ground, holding her wrists behind he
Blinded By The Past Chapter 68
Cassandra"Tarra!" I call out, scrunching my nose. "Mommy and Daddy are kissing again!" I whine, deliberately forcing myself to look into the contents of my cereal bowl, rather than my disgusting, groping parents.Tarra giggles as she joins us at the table, excitement in her eyes. "I can't wait to be in love," she coos.I stick my tongue out. "Eww, gross. Boys are nasty.""You say that now because you're only ten. Wait until you grow up, you will have a whole different outlook," Tarra argues.I shake my head, dismissing that thought, because... no. All the boys in my school are gross. I have seen some pick their nose and eat their boogies, scratch their booties while at recess, and the other ones are mean. They never leave me alone. My mother and sister say it's because they have a crush on me since they act like that, but I beg to differ.If you like someone, why would you be m
Blinded By The Past Chapter 67
CrayvinWhen I manage to drag myself off of the pavement and into my house, Piggy is sitting in the foyer with droopy, sad eyes. A rush of guilt hits me like a damned truck, causing me to not be able to see clearly. A sea of thoughts floods my mind.I want approval.Acceptance.Forgiveness.I want her to see that I can, in fact, be a good guy. I don't want her to think I am some kind of monster that she has to starve herself to be with."I don't deserve you in any way, do I?" I say quietly more to myself than anything.I rake my hands through my hair, exhaling as I avert my stare to the floor.What the fuck is wrong with me?I bury myself into willing women's bodies who let me fuck my cares away. Any trauma or shit that I see at work, is gone and replaced by unchained pleasure. Uncommitted fun, no loyalties.But, then I look at Cassandra, and it's like someone releases the chains around my heart. I want to er
