Chapter 6 - Love Bennett

The knock echoes softly through the hallway, Christian’s hand hovers over the doorknob, but he doesn’t turn it right away. After a long pause, he sighs and pushes the door open.

“Sebastian,” Christian calls out softly, his voice laced with a tenderness I hadn't expected. “I brought someone to meet you.”

The room is dark. The heavy curtains are drawn tight, blocking out any light, and the air feels thick with stillness. I can make out a faint outline of a person sitting in the corner chair. It felt sad.

“Who is it now?” The tone is sharp, but there’s a vulnerability that cuts through. “Another one of your... helpers?” Sebastian shifts in his chair as Christia<n gently nudges me to step forward, my chin held high in this darkness we might as well all be blind.

Christian hesitates, his hand tightening around the doorframe. “She’s not here to help. Not in the way you think. She’s just here to... meet you.”

I take a deep breath, trying to steady myself, keeping my voice steady and gentle. "My name is Love Bennett. I’m here because I’d like to get to know you.” I think I can hear him let out a low smirk at the mention of my name. It's not like I was able to pick it.

There’s a long pause before Sebastian responds. “Why? So you can try to fix me, too?” I take a few steps forward, and the sound of the cane hitting the wooden floor fills the room.

"I don’t think you need fixing. I think you need someone to listen, someone who can understand." I say as Christian comes closer, he looks at me briefly and I have to pretend I dont notice.

“You think I care about talking?” Sebastian asks. I can’t see his face clearly but I can feel the anxiety in her voice.

“I know it’s hard,” I say softly. "But..."

"And how would you know how hard I have it? Are you blind?" Sebastian bursts out and my chest gets tight as I'm about to say my lie out loud.

"Yes," I say as I make my cane tap the floor.

The room falls into silence and I can feel Christian's eyes on me but I have to push past it. "I know what it’s like to feel like everything has changed. To have the world look different like it doesn’t belong to you anymore. But that doesn't mean you can't find a different perspective, to try and focus on the things you used to take for granted." Sebastian doesn’t speak right away, but I can hear him shift in his chair.

"Like what?" He asks and I let my eyes search the dark when I let my head turn a bit sideways to Christian.

"Open the curtains." The words left my mouth sounding sharper than I intended, almost like an order but at least that got a reaction from Sebastian.

“Why?” The question is simple, but its weight makes my chest tighten. “Why bother? What’s the point of any of this?”

"Open them," I repeat to Christian and he walks over to where Sebastian is sitting and pulls the thick curtains apart letting the sun fill the room.

"Why did you do that, that changes nothing for me," Sebastian asks mad as I try to take a few steps forward Christian comes to me and I pretend to let him guide me toward his brother.

"Dosn't it..." I say as I stupidly wave my hand in the air pretending to find his when Christian steps in again placing my hand onto Sebastian's as I pull it into the sunlight. "Maybe you can't see it, but dont tell me you can't feel how warm the sun feels against your skin."

Sebastian jerks his hand away at first, startled by the sudden contact, his fingers curling in reflex. Now in the light, I could see he was definitely Christian's brother, despite his hair being black he had the same broad shoulders and a strong, well-defined physique although his eyes were dark brown, almost black in color that seemed to have nothing but emptiness behind them.

"I’ve always found comfort in things like the warmth of the sun, the breeze... little things." That was true, growing up I liked nothing more than to go lie down in my grandmother's archer and stare into the day sky or night stars alongside the smell of the end of blooming apple trees. "Maybe you can’t see them now, but you can feel them. And that's not nothing, Sebastian. That's something." Fuck, see, may not be the right choice of words right now.

"Christian, is she for real?" Sebastian asks, his voice filled with snarkiness while the rest of his body hangs tense.

Christian’s jaw tightens, but he stays quiet for a moment. His presence beside me feels like he's ready to catch me if I fall, but I refuse to fall.

“I’m serious,” I say, my voice unwavering. "Giving it a try won't make you lose anything... it can only help you find a purpose, to feel better."

“You don’t get it, do you? I don’t want to feel anything." But that is a lie. No matter how much one tries to get rid of the burden of having feelings there isn't such a switch one can turn off that magically makes you go into nothingness. Whether the feelings are good, or bad... they demand to be felt.

"But you feel... whether it is helplessness or fear, or rage... it's still within you, but you can change that. And I can help you escape that prison you built inside your head." Because helping you is something that can save both of us, if you give me a chance that is.

"And how do you know? How do you know it gets better?" he spits, the words sharp like shards of glass.

"Because I’m still here. Still standing. And I think you can be too."

Sebastian’s chair scrapes as he gets up and it takes Christian by surprise as he takes a step back as my hand wraps harder around my cane.

"I don’t know if I’m ready or how willing I am," he admits. "But... maybe I could try." I smile at his words.

"I don’t trust easily," he says after a beat, his voice rough, like he’s battling something inside. "I’ve been let down before."

"Dont think about that now, Sebastian. Please, just give her a chance." Christin cut in as if he wanted to chase away the bad memory that suddenly came rushing into Sebastian's head. I dont know what it is and it won't matter to me. My job here is to help him make new, good memories.

Sebastian remains still for a long moment. I imagine his mind racing, torn between the resistance built up over time and the flicker of possibility I'm offering before he offers me his hand, luckily I dont make the mistake of flinching for it. It's like every two seconds I have to remind myself that Hey, you are blind now.

Christian, who now seems to be breathing for the first time since he entered the room takes my hand off the cane and guides it to Sebastian.

"So, when can you start bothering me?" He asks as we shake hands.

"Well I exposed you to the sunlight today, and I dont want to push my luck... so tomorrow morning," I say smiling as he realizes my hand.

"What did you say your name was?" Sebastian asks.

"Love Bennett."

"Were you named by hippies?" Oh please, no one can hate my name more than me.

"Not exactly. Actually, the total opposite. How my parents settled on that name is still a mystery." My aunt once joked that my father was smoking some funky stuff around that time so my name could just be a result of some weird spiked brownie.

"I think it's lovely," Christian says all of a sudden. "The name, I think is... why dont I walk you out?" He asks.

“Tomorrow, huh?” Sebastian asks while I turn around, Christian helping me walk back when I stop.

“Yes. Same time. Same sunlight.”

Sebastian snorts quietly, but there’s a hint of amusement there. “Don’t get your hopes up too high.”

“I won't, but perhaps you’ll surprise me.”

“Maybe.” He says as he sits back down into his chair, his face now turned to the sunlight and I take that as a first small victory as Christian guides me out the door.