Thud, thud, thud.
"Yes. William. Oh god. Yes, yes." If the rhythmic banging against the wall between mine and my parents room hadn't woken me up, then the feminine voice screeching at the top of her lungs almost certainly would have.
"That's it, oh god yeah, right there, yes, harder." When my dad's own grunts join the cacophony, I squeeze my pillow over my head but somehow the woman's voice still manages to reach my ears.
Fuck, why?
Scowling at the wall as though I could see them going at it, I contemplate my options.
The choice would be so much simpler if I didn't know mum had been away for the weekend visiting my gran.
I knew dad was screwing around, but it's as though her being away gave him the greenlight to bang his whores night and day without worrying about being caught out. I mean, she could be home at any point today the stupid selfish fucker!
I hate that he's putting me in this position, so I bang my fist on the wall and thankfully the noises stop, the hushed voices actually sound a little panicked and I can't hold back a snort of laughter, as if they're only now realising they might be found out.
The groans start up again, muffled this time, so I stick my headphones in, hoping to get another couple of hours of sleep in before I have to get up for school.
"Bill lad, I'm sorry if we disturbed you this morning." My dad slides a plate of toast towards me when I enter the kitchen, he's freshly showered but wearing only his pajama bottoms, as though he's not ashamed of the fresh scratches and tiny bite marks all over his body and I hate him for it. I notice two other plates on the side and when I look at my dad again, I see he's looking past me.
He wouldn't?
A chill run down my spine and I almost don't want to be right, but when I turn my head, there she is.
Long blonde hair, messy from their activities, a barely-there nighty which does nothing to hide her body from me. From the smug look on her face, I'm pretty sure that was her intention.
She sits one leg crossed over the other at my kitchen table, sipping coffee as relaxed as if she's in her own home. The fucking nerve of this woman makes my blood boil and I spin around to glare at my dad, my fists clenched to stop myself launching the toast at his head. He pales slightly, but then his eyes harden and he lifts his chin, staring back at me.
"What the fuck's she doing here?" I turn to the woman, my lips curl into a sneer as she bats her eyelashes at me, as if she could charm me like she clearly has my dad. "Shouldn't you have skulked off already? Get the walk of shame done before the neighbours see. Not sat here showing your disgusting body off to anyone unfortunate enough to look, you fucking slag."
"Billy, that's enough. You don't understand..." My dad starts but I hold up my hand to stop him.
"I don't want to hear about it dad, take it up with mum when she gets home and just leave me the fuck alone." The woman doesn't react at all, confirming my suspicion that she knows full well my dad is married.
She reaches out a hand and squeezes my dad's arm, as though I'm being irrational and she needs to support and comfort him.
Absolute fucking slut!
My dad's talking to me, but I don't hear a word as I stride out of the front door, letting it slam behind me and leaving the toast untouched.
I hop onto my bike, revving the engine to wake any neighbours who might be sleeping, with any luck they'll be complaining to my dad in minutes and he'll have to hide the slag or risk someone else telling my mum before I get to speak to her. Thinking it through, I might actually prefer that, so I double back and do a couple of doughnuts outside the house, making sure to make as much noise as possible, only leaving when gossipy Old Barbara from next door opens her front door and marches across her lawn towards my house.
Shane and Aurora are wrapped around one another in the back of his car when I pull up next to them and it's too much after this morning, I slam my hand onto the roof, plastering a pervy smile on my face as they both turn towards me.
"You two are getting me all hard and horny, can I join in?" Shane kicks the door open so it knocks into me and I feel my temper flare up. I need a good fight, I can't remember the last time it happened, ever since Shane brought Aurora into our lives, even Luke's toned it down because she doesn't approve, but I need it now.
"Morning Billy, are you ok?" Aurora squints at me from behind Shane's shoulder as she does up the buttons on her shirt. "You look upset, what's happened?"
"Fucking peachy." I growl out, beyond irritated that she can see right through me.
"Easy, Bill." Shane's eyes flash a warning and he only steps aside when Aurora pats his side to let him know she's ready, he plants himself between us and I know I'll never hear the end of it unless I apologise to her.
"Sorry Rory, I'm in a shit fucking mood." I say and she gives me a sympathetic smile.
"Can I help with anything? Is it Stacey? I heard she got herself a boyfriend on holiday."
"Nah, just need a good sleep." I give her a wink and continue. "Stace and I are fine, we both knew what we were and I did Carrie on Friday night, told her I'd put a good word in for her with Shane here, just in case he fancies a go. She's alright, not the best but absolutely fucking nutso over you mate, said she'd keep it quiet from Aurora too, just FYI."
He gives a pained groan, slinging his arm over Aurora's shoulders and running his hand down his face.
"It's too early for this, I just had breakfast, I don't want to think about Carrie, at all, but definitely not Carrie and sex. It turns my stomach, I can't believe you went there, seriously."
"There was a lot of alcohol involved mate and I was abandoned by my guys who were off with their women, I didn't have time to be too picky, so really, it's your fault." I chuckle to myself as they roll their eyes at me. "It won't be happening again though, she really is a psycho. The things she wanted me to do to her, she kept calling me by your name too…"
"I need to not be here for this conversation, please. Let me get a head start." Aurora gives Shane a quick kiss and jogs ahead of us towards her friends, sticking her finger up at me when I call her a prude.
Shane perches on a bench and lights up his cigarette before offering the lighter over to me and then my phone rings. I pinch the bridge of my nose and sigh deeply before hitting the answer button.
"Hi Mum, how's Gran?"
"She was at the house? I'm so sorry love, I'm on my way home, I'll sort it before you finish school." She sounds tired, exhausted actually, but not surprised or upset.
Maybe she's known for a while too?
"Are you ok, Mum?"
"I'm fine sweetheart, I'm sorry he got you involved in this, I'll never forgive him for that. I love you so much, you know that, right?"
"Yeah course, love you too." Luke strolls over and snickers, ready to take the piss when I'm off the phone, but Shane shakes his head and then both are looking at me with concern. I hear my grans voice in the background and my mum sighs through the phone.
"I'll see you tonight sweetheart, try not to think about it, everything will be fine." Suddenly, I know what she means and my heart breaks for her.
"Mum wait…"
"Yes?"
"Don't forgive him, please, he had her down for breakfast when I got up. He doesn't give a shit about anyone but himself…"
"Bill, he's your dad."
"I don't care, I'm eighteen, I've nearly finished school and then I can fuck off wherever. Think about yourself for a change. Do you really want to be married to that asshole for the rest of your life? Knowing what he's been up to, that tramp this morning probably had all-sorts up her vag that she's passed on to him." She stays quiet for a few minutes and I wait, pacing and ignoring the confused looks Luke and Shane are giving one another.
"Ok, I hear you baby, I do. Don't think about it any more. I'll sort it, I promise you that. I'll see you tonight." I nod even though she can't see it and pocket my phone when she's hung up.
"Your dad's having an affair?" Shane says, but it's more of a statement than a question, so I nod again and he makes a disgusted sound. "What's your mum said?"
"Just that she'll sort it. I think she already knew, I fucking hate that she might have known and kept it quiet. My dad's a fucking asshole."
"Join the club mate." Luke says quietly, patting me on the shoulder and offering me a cigarette. I don't even know what I did with mine but it's nowhere to be seen so I must have chucked it during the phonecall. "You can always stay at mine if you need to get away."
"Thanks mate." We stroll towards the school. My head's not in the right place to work, but I don't want to go home, so I stick it out, ignoring the teachers and not writing anything down the whole day, my mind too focused on what might be happening at home.
*****
I expected there to be screaming and shouting when I got home, but it's eerily quiet and if both their cars weren't in the drive I'd have thought no one was home.
Bile rises in my throat when I open the door and see my mum's suitcases standing against the wall. I don't know how long I stare at them, but then my mum's in front of me, wrapping her arms around me, her head pressing against my chest as she holds me in a tight grip.
She's leaving him.
I know I told her to and I know it's the best thing for her, so why do I feel so sick? Somehow she's guided me into the living room and my dad puts cups of tea on the table for each of us, they're speaking but it's as though my brain can't figure out what they're saying, it's just sounds.
"Billy love? Sweetheart?" My mum turns my head so I'm looking at her. Watching her mouth, I finally start to hear the words, although they don't make sense. "Is that ok love?"
I don't know what she's asking me, so I just nod and she kisses my forehead, standing up and giving me a sad smile.
"I love you so much sweetheart. Never forget that, ok?" I nod again and she turns to my dad, saying something that I can't hear because my heart is pounding in my ears so loudly and then she pulls me up for a hug, a tear runs down her cheek and she palms it away before stepping back and leaving the room.
The sound of her car driving away brings me to my senses and I turn to my dad, who's watching me carefully.
"What happened?" I ask and he winces.
"I knew you weren't listening, fuck, I told her not to just leave but she wouldn't have it, said you'd be fine." He slams his tea onto the table. "Your little stunt this morning with the bike had half the neighbours at the front door, someone saw Carly and called your mum and now she's left us. Are you happy?"
"What the fuck? Are you actually blaming me for this?" I choke out a laugh. My throat feels raw, so I grab the tea and drink down a huge gulp, thankful it's already gone cold and doesn't burn. That would probably send me over the edge the way I feel right now.
"If you'd just kept your tantrum indoors it would have been fine. So yeah, I'm blaming you." My dad's glaring at me as though I've messed everything up and I can feel a headache coming on from the stress.
"You were fucking someone else." I shout, throwing the cup into the wall opposite. "In your bed. Mum's bed. What did you expect?"
"Loyalty Bill. I expected some fucking loyalty from my own fucking son, is that too much to ask?"
"Do you know what? I can't do this with you right now, I can't fucking do this." I stride to the front door, wrenching it open to come face to face with the blonde whore from this morning, her fist raised as though she was about to knock.
She quickly masks the look of surprise into a smug smile, stepping past me into the hallway.
"Thank you Billy." She says over her shoulder and I've got the distinct feeling she isn't talking about opening the door for her.
Grabbing my phone, I dial Luke's number as I head to my bike.
"Mate, I'm coming over, I want to get fucked up." I say to his answerphone and jump on my bike.
The new girl, Chloe or something, is leaving his house when I get there, but I'm too angry to respond when she says hello, instead I push past Luke and grab the first bottle to hand, undoing the lid and grimacing as it goes down.
"I called Shane too, what's going on? Please don't tell me Carrie's preggers or something?" He laughs, grabbing a beer for himself.
"My mum's finally left that asshole and to top it all off, he's fucking blaming me." I take another swig from the bottle and this time it doesn't burn as much, so I take another, longer one.
"Mate, that sucks, but he's not worth killing yourself over." I turn to look at him and bark out a laugh, his hairs all over the place, his cheeks are flushed.
"Does Aurora know you're banging her new friend?" I ask and he rolls his eyes.
"I'm not banging her, idiot. We just got back from a run."
"Yeah whatever you say." I snort, taking another swig of the drink. He picks up his phone and taps at it, obviously messaging someone. "That your girlfriend?"
"I'm telling Shane to pick up pizza's, I think you're going to need it if you're drinking vodka down straight like that." He locks his phone and puts it on the side of the chair, glancing briefly at the reply but not opening it. "You wanna stay here for a few days, give you time to cool off before you face your old man."
"You're a good mate, Luke." I nod. Feeling myself getting tearful, I take another drink and the room spins a little.
I'm vaguely aware of Shane coming into the room, propping me up with a pillow and feeding me pizza. One of them must swap out my alcohol with water because when I reach down, my hands wrap around a plastic bottle, but I don't care anymore. I just want to sleep, so that's what I do, shifting on the sofa and kicking off my shoes to get comfy.
When I get home from school, the house is empty and I blow out a deep breath, thankful I don't have to make idle chit chat with my mother's latest boyfriend. Bringing up YouTube, I choose a playlist and listen to music while quickly tidying up the house. By the looks of it, my mum hasn't been home since yesterday and I wonder whether she'll be home tonight either. As if she knows I'm thinking about her, my phone bleeps a text. Mum: Am at William's, staying the night again but will be home to chat tomorrow straight after school. Big news baby girl! Really big news! X I don't reply, she won't expect it either, but I can't help wondering what the big news can be. God I hope she isn't pregnan
I've been at Luke's most of this week, he and Shane refused to let me drink anymore after my run in with Aaron, but they did stay home with me that day and we ate a shit ton of food, barely moving from his living room until they forced me to shower and get ready for school the next day. I thought Aurora would be pissed with me after I got Shane into a fight and gave her a mouthful when she dragged me away from the action, but the next day she told me she understood, forgave me and warned me not to make a habit out of it. Then, she started talking about the camping trip we're planning over half term and everyone acted as though I wasn't a drunken mess the day before. If Shane wasn't my mate, I'd consider banging her, just to show her my appreciation. Anyway, it's been a few days and I've calmed down enough to go home. Lu
I'm still watching my film when Billy strolls through the living room again, this time he's gotten rid of his top, his PJ bottoms hanging intentionally low on his hips.I've got to admit, despite him having a generally awful and repulsive personality, his body looks like it's been sculpted by a very talented artist. He's got clearly defined muscles where I didn't even know muscles could be, he crosses the room in front of me and even though I force my eyes to stay on the screen, I'm fairly sure I glimpsed an eight pack on his stomach. Eight? Everyone goes on about a six pack, so how has he managed to get an extra two?My thoughts are cut short when he waltz back through the room with two girls from school. Carrie Lawson and her best friend, Alison Cargreaves.They're both beautiful, complimenting each other pe
My dad is so predictable, all Carrie had to do was bat her eyelids his way and whisper a few compliments and he was hooked. Lining her up to be his next fling, while the current one was busy trying to play his wife. I tell the girls to hang around in the kitchen and flirt with my dad, right in view of where I'm standing by his car, waiting for the whore. "Billy, are you coming shopping?" Her voice is laced with venom and I smile, knowing she's annoyed, whether by my behaviour last night or because the girls were downstairs at breakfast, I'm not sure, but whatever the reason, the reaction is just what I want. "No, just thought I'd help you out with something." I nod towards the kitchen window where my dad is now talking to the girls, a massive grin on his face. She follows my gaze and her lips press into a thin li
My mum's good mood disappeared with whatever conversation she was having with Billy just now, but she's refusing to speak, her jaw twitching as she drives, her eyes not moving from the road ahead of us."Mum, what's the matter?" I ask and her jaw twitches again but she doesn't reply. Indicating right, she turns into the car park of the big shopping mall in the centre of time and I wait until she parks and switches off the engine before speaking to her again. "Mum?""Stay away from Billy." She blurts out, her eyes burning into me. "He's going to be your brother, it's not incest, but it still wouldn't look good for us. William wouldn't like it, it would ruin everything I've worked so hard for.""Excuse me?" My mouth drops open at her words. "Shouldn't you be more concerned about the way he was flirting with Carrie Lawson this morning, not the non existent relationship between me and Billy?"She sighs heavily, twisting her body so she's facing me fully, she
"Bill lad, I need a favour." My dad walks into my room without knocking, sitting down on my bed and by the serious look on his face, I know I'm not going to like whatever he's about to ask me. "I'm worried about Elsie, she barely leaves her room except to go to school. Has she got any friends at all?" "How should I know dad? I don't know her." I tug at the quilt, trying to pull it over my head. The girl I was with last night was insatiable, she only left a few hours ago, so I need some decent sleep before I go out again tonight to find another girl. Since I've decided not to go after the daughter, parading half naked girls in front of my dad the morning after making them scream in pleasure is the only thing I've found that really annoys the whore. "That's
Oh balls!I wake up in Billy's room after not meaning to fall asleep. He's snoring softly beside me, his arm resting on my hip and a quick scan of the room shows he hasn't got an alarm clock or even a clock on the wall to give me any idea of what time it is.Where's my phone?My clothes are on the floor, scattered between the bed and the door, but when I go to move, Billy's hand tightens its grip on my hip and he groans. I freeze in place, hoping he stays asleep. I know I'll have to face him at some point but I'd rather do it wearing clothes and when I'm sure there's no one else to overhear.It takes forever to inch away from him and when I finally get close enough to the edge of the bed to slip out from u
I woke up this morning ready to go again, just to find she'd already snuck out of my bed while I was still asleep. To add to the insult, she'd obviously not wanted me to wake up because she'd left me hugging a pillow. I mean, I think she had a good time too? The whore knocked on the door trying to play happy families and the only reason I agreed was to see Elsie and try to gauge what she was thinking after last night, but then she ran out of the house to go fuck knows where and she hasn't been back all day. "Bill lad, Carly and I are off out for dinner, do you want to come with us?" My dad comes into the living room where I'm lying on the sofa watching TV. "Nah, I'm just going to chill here." My dad perches on the
Billy and I stand on the porch, waving goodbye to our daughter and her husband, our three beautiful grandchildren fast asleep already in the back of their car. He takes my hand once they're out of sight and guides me to the back garden, sitting together on the swinging chair he forced me to love when he bought it five years ago. It wasn't a hard sell, anything that let me snuggle close to him was welcome in our home, because despite my mother's warning, after nearly fifty years of marriage and four beautiful but feral children, there hasn't been a single day where I doubted that he was the only man I could ever want. As if sensing my thoughts, he turns to me and kisses me and just like every time our lips meet, I'm eighteen again, butterflies erupting in my stomach as I kiss the love of my life, but now it's even
After the shitstorm that went down at my dad's I'm ready to climb into bed and leave the whole day behind, but the Whore - yes, after what she said we're back to that name - has made Elsie, my beautiful wife, doubt herself and I can't let that fester. As if my girl could be anything like that nasty bitch.It's gone midnight by the time we climb into bed and the house is surprisingly quiet, a quick text to Luke lets me know they've all gone to some late night film and won't be back for a few hours yet which works out perfectly, because I'm going to take my time making love to my wife, hitting all the new spots I found on her in Vegas and reminding her why she won't ever consider going anywhere else.~*~We didn't bother turning any lights on when we came in last night, just went straight t
We creep into our room at around three in the morning, exhausted and greasy from a long, warm flight, so we both quickly shower and fall into bed. "And where the fuck have you two been all week?" I bolt upright at the sound of someone's voice so close to the bed. "Fuck off Luke, I'm too tired." Billy groans, rolling over and clamping his pillow onto his head. "You don't call, you don't write. How do you expect us to react? We were so worried." Shane adds, grinning from ear to ear as he shakes Billy by the shoulder. "Are you naked? Together?" Luke wags his finger at the both of us. "I hope you haven't been having intercourse under my roof. I knew it was a mistake letting the two of you share a room. I told you Shane, but you said we could trust them."
The first thing I notice when I wake up is the silver ring on my finger, the blue diamonds reflecting light across the ceiling as I move it side to side with my thumb.Elsie is still sleeping like a baby beside me, so I carefully slip out of bed into the living room area, dialing the number for room service and quietly ordering us both breakfast. Opening the door slightly and waiting patiently for it to arrive so the knocking doesn't wake her up.I want to be the one who wakes her this morning.The guy looks surprised when I pull the door open before he's even reached it, I'd heard his footsteps and whistling coming down the corridor from the moment he got off the lift.Thanking him, I take the tray and make my way to the bedroom, sliding it on the bedside ta
We're on a plane to Las Vegas to go and get married. This might be the most spontaneous thing in my entire life so far, or even in the future, because seriously, what's more spontaneous than hopping on an eleven hour flight to get married after one brief conversation?Am I making a mistake?I'm eighteen, I've not even been legally an adult for a full year yet. I should be freaking out, I should be having major second thoughts especially now enough time has passed that we're no longer caught up in whatever romantic moment we were having, but I can feel Billy's hand holding mine as he dozes beside me and I can't bring myself to feel anything but excitement about tying myself to him for the rest of my life, so I guess the answer is a resounding no. No way, this is going to be wonderful!
Elsie's quiet all the way to my Grandmother's house, which is where my mum decided we should meet so she can make us a proper home cooked meal. I'm so excited to show Elsie off, I know if my mum can get past the fact that she's Carly's daughter, she'll realise they're nothing alike and will really like her. My grandmother will adore her anyway, since she never liked my dad and I know she's glad he and my mum have split up. "You ok?" I ask Elsie for what feels like the fifth time during the journey to my grandmother's. "Yeah, just nervous." She gives me a weak smile, so I squeeze her hand in the hopes it will reassure her a little. My mum greets us at the door, a big smile appears on her face when she sees me. "My boy." She pulls me into a hug, then pushes me back and hits me around the back of the head. "How could you move away without telling your mother? I don't even know what university you've chosen." She hits me again, then turns to walk into the house, tugging me behind her
This week has been a rollercoaster to say the least.I know they're Billy's friends, but I'm not sure I'll ever feel really comfortable with Luke Thomas and Shane Woodson. Even after seeing the way they dote on the tiny terror that is Shane's niece.I think I'm the only one though, because Jenny, one of Aurora's friends, has woken me up three times already this week screaming at Luke for waking her up with his singing and even Priya, Jenny's sister and the quietest girl I've ever met other than Laura, seems perfectly comfortable hanging out with them.Aside from the slight nerves around two of my new housemates, it feels like being on holiday.We spend the week swimming, watching films and exploring the area. The sun hasn't stopped shining and it peers thro
I fucking hate moving house! Somehow in the brief few months we've lived in the rental we've managed to accumulate enough crap for an entire moving van plus filling the back of my car. How? We're not even taking most of the furniture! The beds, sofa and fridge freezer are all part of the rental so they're staying here. I don't really even know what's filling all the boxes, but Elsie and I have spent the week popping back to my dad's whenever they're not home so we can pick up the rest of our stuff and add in the stuff we've bought since moving in together, well, it's taken half the day just to fill the vehicles. It's only been that quick because we spent our evenings boxing up everything except the things we use daily. "I'm really going to miss this place." Elsie says, leaning into my side to try to hide the fact that she's crying. "Come on, wait until you get to the new place. It's going to be amazing." I make sure my smile is huge and reassuring, but secretly, I'm already missi
Apparently there are things that happen during your life that can make you re-evaluate everything you've ever done and from the moment Billy tells me my mum has tried to kill herself, my mind has replayed every cruel thing I've ever said or done to her, especially recently.I might not have been the pretty, outgoing, fashionable daughter that she really wanted, but I worked hard at school, kept my room tidy, I didn't go out to parties or take drugs, she never had to worry that I wouldn't come home or would be in a dangerous situation.I figured if I couldn't be the daughter she wanted, I could at least try to make her happy and proud of me. I was a good girl.Liar!Immediately the memory of the night I lost my virginity is thrown into