Chapter two - Elsie

When I get home from school, the house is empty and I blow out a deep breath, thankful I don't have to make idle chit chat with my mother's latest boyfriend. 

Bringing up YouTube, I choose a playlist and listen to music while quickly tidying up the house. By the looks of it, my mum hasn't been home since yesterday and I wonder whether she'll be home tonight either.

As if she knows I'm thinking about her, my phone bleeps a text.

Mum: Am at William's, staying the night again but will be home to chat tomorrow straight after school. Big news baby girl! Really big news! X

I don't reply, she won't expect it either, but I can't help wondering what the big news can be.

God I hope she isn't pregnant? Can she even still get pregnant at her age? She's certainly active enough to be. Urgh, why am I thinking about that!

Turning the volume up, I try to drown out the noise of my own thoughts and when that doesn't work, I grab my homework, spreading out on the kitchen table, enjoying the peace and quiet of being completely alone.

The homework plan worked and by the time I finish, my stomach is rumbling and embracing the joy of being able to do what I want. I decide to order pizza and sit watching a film on the TV, stretched across our small sofa.

This is the life! If the big news is her staying at the new boyfriend's more, I wholeheartedly support it! 

******

I wake up in the best mood I've been in months, practically skipping to the shower and singing to the music blaring out of my shower speakers.

I get a few weird looks on my walk to school before I realise I'm singing quite loudly along to my playlist and when my best and only friend Laura jumps out of her dad's car, she squints at me before asking what's going on.

"Nothing, I'm just in a good mood." I say, unable to stop smiling.

"It's creeping me out. Why're you so happy?" We walk side by side to class and she stops in the corridor. "Do you know you're humming? Seriously, has something happened? I wanna know."

"No, I've just had the house to myself for two whole nights, it was so peaceful." Her eyes open wide in understanding, she stopped staying over a few years ago, after the third time she heard my mum and her boyfriend at the time, enjoying themselves incredibly loudly for most of the night.

"Now I get it, where is she? When's she coming back?" 

"I'm not sure where, some guy's I'm guessing, but she says she's coming home tonight with big news." That makes her ears perk up even more.

"What ne… ow." She cries out after Billy Watkins knocks her against the doorframe, he keeps going as though he didn't even notice and Luke Thomas and Shane Woodson grab his arms, dragging him past us and back out the door he just came through. The stench of alcohol lingers for a minute or so after they've all gone.

I'm about to ask if she's ok, but someone hollers "fight" and suddenly chaos erupts. Everyone pushing each other out of the way in their haste to get outside and Laura and I are swept along in the crowd.

I feel her hand grip mine and we fight our way to safety, but not before seeing Luke Thomas and Shane Woodson, standing protectively in front of Billy Watkins, facing off against Aaron Cutler, Liam Jenkins and Callum and Logan Harris.

Billy Watkins looks like he's struggling to stay standing, but he's shouting incoherently at the other four boys, and despite being outnumbered, Luke Thomas and Shane Woodson are managing to keep them away from him.

"Look." Laura points to a red haired girl, who pushes her way through the crowd, grabbing Billy's arm and dragging him behind her, he stumbles but doesn't fight her and I'm amazed at her bravery.

As soon as she's out of the way, Shane Woodson raises his arm and punches Aaron Cutler in the face, Luke Thomas grinning at his friend before following suit and the crowd cheers them on.

"We need to go." I tell Laura and she nods, gripping my hand in hers as we maneuver through the crowd and back inside. 

The fight is all anyone talks about all day, various rumours fly around school, including Billy Watkins walking into Aaron Cutler and refusing to apologise, which is the most believable, to more elaborate ones including Billy sleeping with Aaron's mum/sister or both, or Aaron pulling the girl Billy had been sleeping with. No one really knows what actually went on and I couldn't care less. The closer we're getting to the end of the day, the more I'm focused on what my mum's 'big news' might be and whether or not I'll be as happy as she is about it all.

My guts telling me I won't, but I'm hoping that's just the nerves.

Mum's car is in the driveway when I get home and the aroma of cooking makes my stomach rumble the second I open the front door.

"Mum?" 

"In the kitchen, Elsie." I chuck my bag inside my bedroom, toeing off my shoes and kicking them after the bag. I'm nervous about whatever it is mum's got to tell me and I stand in the hallway, staring at the doorway to the kitchen, torn between wanting to get it over with and not wanting to know at all. "Elsie, come in here and try this."

"Coming. One sec." I call back, but dart into my room, putting my shoes on their shelf and changing out of my school uniform. 

When I can't put it off any longer, I force myself towards the kitchen, one foot in front of the other like I'm walking to my execution of something else equally as ridiculous.

Maybe I have inherited some of my mother's melodrama.

She's by the oven, her frilly pink apron tied over her jean shorts and cropped top, her blonde hair shining loose and perfectly straight down her back and yes, she's got her high heeled sandals on while she stirs something in a pan.

"Smells good, what are you making?" I ask and grimace at how the nerves make my voice strained.

"Oh baby you're here, finally. What on earth are you wearing?" She frowns down at my comfy joggers and hooded jumper as though it personally offends her. "Elsie, sweetheart, you could try a little, you're such a beautiful girl, you look just like I did at your age and I had all the boys after me."

"I'm not interested in having the boys after me." I roll my eyes, sliding onto the nearest stool. 

"You're wasting your youth, you'll regret dressing like a dowdy old man when you're my age." We lock eyes and I know she's disappointed I'm not more like her, she used to love the shopping trips we went on when I was little, dressing me like her own personal mini me. 

That was before dad died though, before a string of random men started appearing in our home, men that ignored my existence completely until I hit my teens and then their sudden interest in me made me feel uncomfortable.

I can't explain that to her though, I can't tell her that the idea of dressing like she does, for the purposes she does, makes my skin crawl, so instead, I play the sullen teenager, hiding away in my bedroom, blasting loud music whenever she brings someone home and focusing on my schoolwork so I can leave for university as soon as possible.

"Anyway, you said you had news?" I shake my head to banish the thoughts and her frown transforms into a dazzling smile.

"Oh yes, my news, big, big news." She clicks her fingers and turns to switch the gas off under the pan. Sliding into the seat opposite me, she grabs both my hands in hers and squeezes as she squeals like a little girl. "I've met someone."

I wasn't expecting that, although I'm not sure why not, she's always got a new boyfriend although it's never been big news before.

"What happened to that last one, William wasn't it? Did his wife find out?" 

"Oh ok, I forgot I'd told you about him, yes it's him." She grins again, nodding excitedly. "And yes, the old hag of a woman he married found out and he's left her, for me. For us I should say, he wants us to move in as soon as possible. You'll love the house, it's huge and there's a beautiful back garden, you'll have a bigger bedroom, not like this crappy little place. He's rich baby, I've finally done it baby, I've landed on my feet."

"Hang on, what? When? What's wrong with this place? I love this place, dad loved this place." She ignores that and squeals again, jumping up to stir the pan again.

"Dad would want us to be happy and William will make sure that happens. I've already handed in our notice to the landlords, but we're moving this weekend, so don't make any plans." 

"This weekend? Mum this is too soon, I've not even met the guy." I grip the table as the room feels like it's spinning. It's too soon, all of this is happening too fast.

"You'll love him I promise, he's very kind and he makes me happy. Fantastic in bed too." She winks and I fight the urge to vomit. "There's boxes in the living room, take as many as you need. Go and start now, I'll shout when tea's ready."

And with that, she dismisses me, I somehow manage to make it to my room, although I don't remember getting there. Dropping down onto the window seat my dad made for me when I was eight and looking into the garden. Everything I see reminds me of dad, it's all I've got left of him. Tears prick behind my eyes, I bite my lip to try to stop them but images of my dad force them out. I turn my music up loud to drown out the sound of my tears and my mum doesn't bother me until later when she tells me she's going out to see William. My tea is in the fridge waiting for me since I didn't hear her when she called earlier and then with a happy giggle, she's gone, leaving me alone to crawl into bed and sob myself to sleep.