45 - Felicity

I want Shawn. I want him not just as my boss or my lover but as my boyfriend, my husband. I want to be by his side not just at work. I want to fall asleep on his shoulder after a long

conversation every night and wake up next to him every morning.

I want him in my life.

That's why I couldn't help but ask if he was fine. I couldn't stop myself from talking to him even though I said I wasn't ready for the chats we used to have. And when he gave me that unexpected compliment, when he looked at me like he wanted to fuck me, I nearly threw myself at him.

I slap my forehead as I lie down on my bed.

"Oh, Felicity, what are you going to do?"

Seriously, I don't know. I don't know what I can do. But I know this: I can't keep crying every night.

I sit up and pull out a few sheets of tissue from the box on the nightstand. As I blow my nose, my gaze falls on the box of chocolates from that shop in Zurich.

I wasn't lying when I said I haven't eaten all of them. In fact, I've only been eating one pi