BenOn Friday, Mila was almost back to her old self. She had taken the wound dressing off and decided that it was healed enough to not have to wear it anymore. The skin was pink, tracing the outline of the cut, and it was an ugly reminder that someone had hurt her, but it would heal perfectly in a matter of time. Everything was like that, wasn’t it?Her eyes were bright again, she ate well, and she smiled again. It was beautiful to see how Mila crawled back out of her shell, and it was wonderful to know that I had helped her. She had done so much for me in my difficult times, it was great to be able to return the favor. But this wasn’t about owing her something. I had wanted to do this for her because it was Mila Castle, the only woman I had ever loved.No matter what I had done for her, Mila had done most of her bouncing back on her own. She was strong, and she had managed to pick up the pieces herself. She barely needed me. It was so attractive that a woman didn’t need a man. Becaus
BenBut first I needed to make sure she arrived home safely.“I think I’ll come back to Portland with you for a while,” I said, not sure where the fucking comment came from. I felt wishy-washy, which I hated with a passion. Mila looked up at me. “Don’t do this to me again, Ben.”I shook my head. “I’m not doing anything to you again. I’m going to visit my mom for a while. I’m not going back with any pretenses to stay.”Mila nodded and closed her eyes, turning her face toward the window like a cat basking in the sun. It hurt when she told me straight up not to do it to her again. I had hurt her badly, I knew that. I should have been open about it. But it had been hard to be open when I had so many secrets. It was all different, now.My reason for going back to Portland was still multidimensional, but it wasn’t to deceive anyone or to pretend that I was back for good. I wanted to be sure that everyone else was safe. I wanted to see that my mother was still living and breathing, that no
MilaI opened my eyes to my childhood room. The feeling of warmth and safety that came with it was overwhelming. I sat up in bed and rubbed my eyes.After my parents had picked me up from the airport, we had come home. My mom had taken off from the restaurant even though Fridays were the busiest over dinner time. She had cooked me pasta with pesto sauce, and we had spent time watching movies and eating chips like we used to when I was still a teenager in the house. My mom hadn’t asked about the kidnapping at all, other than if I was safe and if I had any other medical issues besides the cut on my face.I had been terrified to come back home to a ton of questions, but my family seemed to understand what I needed.I rolled over in bed and stretched. It was hard to think that just a few days ago I had been in that basement, stiff and cold and hungry. So much had happened in the last few weeks it felt like a lifetime ago.When I thought about sitting on that cold concrete floor again, I s
MilaWhen my phone rang, I jumped. I was still sitting on the bath mat on the floor, tears running down my cheeks. I wasn’t sure if it was only my eyes watering from throwing up or if I was really crying. Either way, it felt like my world was ending.“I heard you were back in town,” Skylar said in a joking tone. She was trying to keep things light for my sake. How sweet of her.“Yeah,” I said in a husky voice.Skylar’s voice was serious immediately.“Are you okay?”“I’m not,” I said. Tears were already rolling down my cheeks again. This was too much for me. I had been strong until now, able to handle it all. But being pregnant on top of everything else that was fucked up in my life was too much.“Do you want me to come over?”I agreed, and we ended the call. Skylar was there in no time at all, knocking on my parents’ front door. When I opened the door, Skylar looked worried. She hugged me.“This is all so horrible,” she said. “I can’t believe this happened to you.”“It’s not the half
BenAfter Mila was safe with her parents at the airport on Friday, they all left. I felt like Mila was being ripped away from me when they took her home. I’d had her with me since the moment I had rescued her, and she had been in my care. It had been my mission to keep her safe.With her walking away from me, I was harshly reminded again that Mila wasn’t mine. It didn’t matter that I’d looked after her, saved her, cared for her. I had also pushed her away, and that was where we stood.But she was home safe with her parents, and safe was all I had wanted her to be. It was why I had done all of this in the first place.So, after they’d left, I had booked a rental car and had driven to my mom’s place. When she had opened the door to find me standing there, she had been ecstatic, throwing her arms around me and hugging me like I was the prodigal son returned.“Every time you leave, you end up back on my doorstep,” she’d said. I had smiled and let her fuss over me the way I knew she wanted
BenMy mom finished the pancakes and put the plate down on the kitchen table. She took a seat before we dished up, each of us taking pancakes and adding syrup to them. I bit into it, tasting the heavenly flavor.After breakfast, I decided to head out. I had to get out of the house. My thoughts were driving me crazy, and I had no idea what to do about them.I drove to the fire station. One of the fire engines was missing, and the only person around was the lieutenant, Ted.“Where are the guys?” I asked. When there was an emergency, Ted was usually with them.“They’re at a training course today,” Ted said. He opened the fridge and offered me a soda. I took it from him, and we each cracked open our bottles. “How are you doing?”“I’m doing okay,” I said. “Working hard, but that’s life.”“Are you ready to come back to work?” Ted asked.I chuckled. “I wish.”It had been my dream since I could remember to be a firefighter. It was still what I would have wanted to do with my life, but I had p
MilaOn Monday, I planned to go back to work. I had the afternoon shift so I had my morning free. I was with Skylar because I didn’t want to be alone. Last night had been the first night alone in my apartment. It hadn’t been nearly as bad as I’d thought it would be, but I hadn’t been taken from my apartment when I had been kidnapped.I had been taken from the hospital. Which was where I was going, next.When I had come back home, I had convinced myself that I was over it all, that I would be able to deal with it without any help from a therapist for the trauma. Maybe I had been hasty in my decision to be a big girl. The truth was I was scared.“It’s going to be okay,” Skylar said. “I’ll drop you off and pick you up again after your shift tomorrow morning.”“I’m finishing very early.”“I don’t mind. I know you need this, and I’d rather have you safe.”Skylar was being a good friend through all of this. We were in my living room, drinking coffee and eating grilled cheese sandwiches so t
MilaI was starting to get pissed off. I felt like the four walls of the room were closing in on me. My skin was hot as if on fire. I had never gotten angry this quickly, but I was about at the end of my line, here.“I asked you to let it go, Sky,” I snapped. “Stop pushing me, okay? It’s not your life, it’s mine. And no matter what you think, I can still make my own decisions. I’ve just been to hell and back, and you’re not making this shit any easier.”Skylar’s eyes widened as I spoke and by the time I finished my little speech, she was angry, too.“You were the one that said you didn’t know what to do. You asked me for my advice so don’t have a shit fit when I give it to you. But you’re right, it’s not my life. I’ve just been involved in your shit for years because it’s what friends do. So, you can push me away all you like, but I didn’t do any of this to you.”“Stop it,” I shouted at Skylar.“No. I’m not going to stop. I didn’t break your heart, and I didn’t kidnap you, and I didn’