BenAfter Mila was safe with her parents at the airport on Friday, they all left. I felt like Mila was being ripped away from me when they took her home. I’d had her with me since the moment I had rescued her, and she had been in my care. It had been my mission to keep her safe.With her walking away from me, I was harshly reminded again that Mila wasn’t mine. It didn’t matter that I’d looked after her, saved her, cared for her. I had also pushed her away, and that was where we stood.But she was home safe with her parents, and safe was all I had wanted her to be. It was why I had done all of this in the first place.So, after they’d left, I had booked a rental car and had driven to my mom’s place. When she had opened the door to find me standing there, she had been ecstatic, throwing her arms around me and hugging me like I was the prodigal son returned.“Every time you leave, you end up back on my doorstep,” she’d said. I had smiled and let her fuss over me the way I knew she wanted
BenMy mom finished the pancakes and put the plate down on the kitchen table. She took a seat before we dished up, each of us taking pancakes and adding syrup to them. I bit into it, tasting the heavenly flavor.After breakfast, I decided to head out. I had to get out of the house. My thoughts were driving me crazy, and I had no idea what to do about them.I drove to the fire station. One of the fire engines was missing, and the only person around was the lieutenant, Ted.“Where are the guys?” I asked. When there was an emergency, Ted was usually with them.“They’re at a training course today,” Ted said. He opened the fridge and offered me a soda. I took it from him, and we each cracked open our bottles. “How are you doing?”“I’m doing okay,” I said. “Working hard, but that’s life.”“Are you ready to come back to work?” Ted asked.I chuckled. “I wish.”It had been my dream since I could remember to be a firefighter. It was still what I would have wanted to do with my life, but I had p
MilaOn Monday, I planned to go back to work. I had the afternoon shift so I had my morning free. I was with Skylar because I didn’t want to be alone. Last night had been the first night alone in my apartment. It hadn’t been nearly as bad as I’d thought it would be, but I hadn’t been taken from my apartment when I had been kidnapped.I had been taken from the hospital. Which was where I was going, next.When I had come back home, I had convinced myself that I was over it all, that I would be able to deal with it without any help from a therapist for the trauma. Maybe I had been hasty in my decision to be a big girl. The truth was I was scared.“It’s going to be okay,” Skylar said. “I’ll drop you off and pick you up again after your shift tomorrow morning.”“I’m finishing very early.”“I don’t mind. I know you need this, and I’d rather have you safe.”Skylar was being a good friend through all of this. We were in my living room, drinking coffee and eating grilled cheese sandwiches so t
MilaI was starting to get pissed off. I felt like the four walls of the room were closing in on me. My skin was hot as if on fire. I had never gotten angry this quickly, but I was about at the end of my line, here.“I asked you to let it go, Sky,” I snapped. “Stop pushing me, okay? It’s not your life, it’s mine. And no matter what you think, I can still make my own decisions. I’ve just been to hell and back, and you’re not making this shit any easier.”Skylar’s eyes widened as I spoke and by the time I finished my little speech, she was angry, too.“You were the one that said you didn’t know what to do. You asked me for my advice so don’t have a shit fit when I give it to you. But you’re right, it’s not my life. I’ve just been involved in your shit for years because it’s what friends do. So, you can push me away all you like, but I didn’t do any of this to you.”“Stop it,” I shouted at Skylar.“No. I’m not going to stop. I didn’t break your heart, and I didn’t kidnap you, and I didn’
BenOn Tuesday, the Investors wanted to talk. A handful of wealthy people were invested in my company, pumping in money when we needed it. Their returns were worth their while, and I had always had a good working relationship with them, despite how many times the company had changed hands.Everything was up in the air, now. They weren’t as happy with me as they were before. Now that everything had come out on the news, they weren’t happy at all.“How credible are these rumors about the mafia?” one of them asked.“We’re losing money over this,” another said. “It doesn’t matter if it’s true or not. It’s affected the company horribly.”“Gentleman,” I said, stopping the conversation. “I know you’re worried. You have every right to be.”“How are we to know what’s going on?” another one of them said before I could say anything else. “You just took off without an explanation.”“Nothing like this ever happened while Lambert was involved. This looks bad for all of us.”When he talked about Unc
BenWhen I got off the phone, I was drained. The shit with this company was just never-ending. When it had been all about business, I hadn’t minded it so much, but it had bled over into my personal life, and I hated that.“Honey, can you help me with something?” my mom asked, coming into the room.I nodded. “Sure, what?”“I want to paint a few rooms. Paul will be away on a business trip this week – he’s leaving in the morning. Do you think you can help me? It will take a few days, so if you need to go back sooner, it’s okay.”I thought about it. When I had been younger, before Paul had come into the picture, my mom and I had done all sorts of things together to bond. We had built things, rearranged the house, taken on any kind of project we could think of. It had been a distraction for both of us after Dad had left, and it had been good for us to open up to each other instead of shutting down and moving on without talking.“I’d love to,” I said. “I can stay a few more days, I’m sure.
MilaBy Wednesday, it had been three days since I had been back at work. All I had wanted when I went back to work was to fall back into my normal routine and do what I did best – help others without thinking too much about myself.Unfortunately, it didn’t work that way.Everyone had been worried about me. I was flattered that so many people had panicked when I had disappeared. It was great to know that I meant something to so many people. But I didn’t want to remember anything about the kidnapping or why it had happened, and it was hard to forget when everyone was asking me questions about it.By this time, the questions had started dwindling, but they didn’t treat me the way they always had. They were still treating me as if something might be wrong– as if I needed special treatment. They were coddling me. I hated being coddled. I didn’t like it when all the attention was on me and not on the people that really needed it. There were patients in the hospital that needed all the atten
MilaI could have taken my break, of course. But it was difficult for me to carry on with life as usual when a man was fighting for his life and looking like he was going to lose. I couldn’t worry about the patient making it the one moment and have lunch in the cafeteria like nothing was wrong, the next. I would take my break when I could stomach the idea that sometimes we lost patients.Before the kidnapping, I had struggled with the concept of losing a patient, but it wasn’t this bad. Now, I felt like throwing up, like I was going to break apart if this old man didn’t make it. I had always been strong in situations like this even though it had affected me badly. What had changed? Why was I so much more emotionally involved than before?Maybe it was because I had been through a difficult time. When I had thought that my own death was around the corner. Maybe I wasn’t emotionally as alright as I thought I was. For the first time since the incident, I considered going to see someone ab