Hero Complex

Mila

When we sat down at the table, it was like old times almost immediately. Jerrod and Ben bantered back and forth, laughing about something that had happened after I had gone home last night. Skyler was being shameless with her interjections, as always. And I sat back and listened as I had always done. I wasn’t as shy as I used to be, but it was a dynamic that had been created years ago. It was hard to think that six years had passed.

We were such different people now. And yet, we were all the same in a way.

“I need a refill,” Skylar said when our cocktail glasses had been empty for a while.

“I’m getting this round,” Jerrod said to Ben, and he stood up. He accompanied Skylar to the bar, and suddenly, Ben and I were alone.

“It’s good to see you again, Mila,” Ben said and smiled at me. His smile was enough to push up my temperature.

“It’s good to have you back,” I said. “Jerrod missed you.” I would have said that I’d missed him, too, but that would have been too much.

“I can tell,” Ben said with a chuckle. “I hear you’re a nurse now.”

 I nodded. “It’s what I’ve always wanted to do.”

“I can appreciate that,” Ben said. “Besides, I bet you look pretty damn hot in that nurse’s outfit.”

My stomach did a little flip. His line was so blunt. He looked at me, completely at ease with what he said.

“You’ll have to judge for yourself sometime,” I said, and it was Ben’s turn to be surprised. I hadn’t been this comfortable around Ben when he’d seen me last.

He laughed. “We’ll have to make a date for that.”

“I guess you’ll just have to ask me,” I said.

Ben laughed. “You’ve grown up, Mila.”

“Yeah, I have,” I said and smiled. “You have no idea.”

“I’m beginning to see that.”

For a moment, we were silent. Ben glanced to the bar where Jerrod and Skylar were laughing about something.

“What are you doing now?” I asked.

“I’m starting at Fire and Rescue Station Nine,” he said. “On Monday.”

“Oh, wow. That’s quick. I didn’t know you still wanted to be a firefighter.”

“Once the hero complex grabs you, there’s no going back, you know?” Ben said and chuckled.

I could relate to that. In a way, firemen and nurses did the same thing. We went into the thick of things and helped people when they needed saving. It was hard work, long hours, and sometimes, we couldn’t save the day. But it was worth every minute of blood, sweat, and heartache to see the people we saved walk away alive and well.

A thrill went through me to think that Ben and I had so much in common. But I suppressed it almost immediately. Just because we thought alike didn’t mean we were soul mates. I was still being a silly girl with a crush.

“Jerrod said you have your own apartment now,” Ben said.

“Jerrod talks about me a lot, huh?” I replied.

Ben chuckled. “Yeah, just the basics. I left all the good stuff to ask you personally.”

“Like what?” I asked with a giggle.

“Things your brother has no business knowing about,” Ben said and winked at me.

I blushed. I couldn’t help it. My cheeks flamed red, and I looked down, feeling like an idiot. Ben chuckled, and when I looked up, those midnight blue eyes rested on me, the smile arrogant and so hot, I was struggling to think straight.

Ben was trouble. I’d had a crush on him for years, but it had been fine when he hadn’t noticed me at all. Now, it was a different story altogether. We were equals now, and he was flirting with me.

It was only going to make me like him that much more. I thought about what Skylar had said about it being an adult fantasy, and I decided she was right.

Ben was  very much an adult fantasy, and I could think of all kinds of dirty things about him, which was a bad idea. He was still Jerrod’s best friend, and I couldn’t be with him. Not in any way.

“So, how’s Rachel doing?” I asked, trying to change the topic. I felt like a moron the moment the words left my mouth. Why would he want to talk about his ex? Why would I bring up his ex when I wanted to get in there myself?

I scolded myself for thinking along those lines again.

“Rachel who?” he asked.

“You know,” I started before I realized his response had been an answer. He grinned at me, and the way he looked at me made me want to blush again.

“Sorry, I’m sure you don’t want to talk about her,” I said. I didn’t know how he’d handled their breakup. I’d only heard from Jerrod that she’d cheated on him and he’d dumped her. I had resented her for hurting the man I’d crushed on for so long back then.

“Why would I want to talk about her when I have someone as stunning as you in front of me?”

I blushed again. Dammit.

“You’re impossible.” I giggled, sounding like the schoolgirl with a crush that I evidently still was.

Ben shrugged. “I’ll tell you what’s impossible: how beautiful you’ve become since I left. Inside and out.”

“You’re only making it worse,” I said, feeling like my cheeks were on fire.

“You’re cute when you blush.”

“Did you know that when you blush, your stomach lining also turns red?” When I said it, I felt like a complete idiot. “I bet you didn’t come here to hear arbitrary medical facts.” I squeezed my eyes shut.

“That’s exactly why I came here,” Ben said. When I didn’t open my eyes, he nudged my knee with his under the table. “Seriously, you can never have too many arbitrary medical facts.”

I looked at him and laughed. He was who he had always been—kind, funny, and able to get me out of every awkward situation I got myself into. But he was different, too. Grown up, mature. Sadder, in a way. And happier. It was hard to figure out what I saw when I looked at him.

The one thing I did know was that if I’d thought I was going to struggle with a crush on him before, it was so much worse now.