I drove to Mila’s apartment just before noon. She had texted me her address this morning, and I wanted to pick her up instead of meeting her at a restaurant. I was only being a gentleman. I knew I couldn’t pursue Mila the way I would have liked. With Jerrod being as protective as he was and with him as my best friend, Mila wasn’t exactly available for me to go after.
But we were friends. We had spent a lot of time together before I had left for New York. She was my best friend’s little sister, after all. We’d had lunch together plenty of times.
Sure, it had never just been the two of us, and it had usually been at the Castle residence where Mila had still lived back then. But for us to hang out as friends wasn’t strange, and I wasn’t stepping on anyone’s toes by taking Mila out to lunch. We were just going to hang out together like we used to.
The moment Mila stepped out of her apartment building door after I buzzed up to let her know I was waiting for her, I knew I was wrong. This wouldn’t be like old times, hanging out with nothing between us.
I wasn’t the same person I had been back then. I had learned a lot about who I was and about the life I wanted to live. I had more money in the bank than I ever dreamed of having, and I knew where I was headed.
Mila had changed even more. She had grown up. Gone was the high school girl who used to tag along when Jerrod and I would go somewhere under-twenty-ones were allowed. In her place was a mature, confident young woman.
And my god, she was beautiful. Every time I saw her, I was stunned by how much more beautiful she was than I could imagine. She had an elegance about her that I hadn’t noticed before. Maybe it was something that had come with her maturity. Or maybe, now that she was at an age where I could see her as a dating prospect, I looked at her differently.
Her shoulder-length brown hair was pulled back in a short ponytail which made her big brown eyes stand out. They were hazel, changing color with what she wore. Today, she wore a mint-colored tank top with jeans, and her eyes looked almost green. Her jeans were tight enough that they looked painted on, and she wore ballet flats with it.
“You look beautiful,” I said when I hugged her.
“Thanks,” she said with a shy smile. She seemed a little more closed off than when we’d been at The Cottage together, but she’d been drinking then.
“It feels good to wear normal clothes for a change and not my scrubs.”
I opened the car door for her before walking around to the driver’s side.
“Where are we going?” I asked.
“I was thinking of driving to a seaside restaurant. To get away from our neck of the woods a little, clear our heads.”
“That sounds amazing,” Mila said, and I pulled into the road.
Mila and I were together in the car for about half an hour to get to the coast. Being in a car together was strangely intimate. With little eye contact because we were seated side-by-side, it made it easier to talk about things that would have been awkward when facing each other. I enjoyed talking while driving.
“How is your first week at the station going?” Mila asked.
I nodded. “It’s been hard. I have a lot to get used to, but I love it. It’s exactly what I wanted to do my whole life.”
“I guess you can say that with certainty now because you tried corporate. What was that like? Horrible?”
I shook my head. “Not horrible. Just different. I wasn’t cut out to be in an office all day. It bothered me because I didn’t get out as much as I would have liked. And to be responsible for that many people working beneath me … it wasn’t hard, but I didn’t enjoy it.”
“I think you did the right thing,” Mila said.
I glanced at her. “I don’t know. My dad wanted me to follow in his footsteps, and with him gone, I feel obligated, in a way, to realize his dreams.”
Mila hesitated for a second. “I’m sorry your dad passed away. I know that has to be hard. But can I be insensitive?”
I chuckled. “I don’t know if I’ll get offended, but asking it that way makes me curious about what you’re going to say.”
Mila flashed me a gorgeous smile. “What I want to say is that even though I understand you want to honor your dad and his legacy, he had his chance to live out his dreams. Now, it’s your turn to chase yours. Otherwise, you’ll end up feeling unfulfilled, and nothing else would have changed.”
“You mean despite trying so hard to impress him, my dad will still be dead,” I said.
“I didn’t mean it so straightforward.”
“No, you’re right. Nothing will change, and I won’t be happy at the end of it. I’ve never looked at it so plainly.”
“It’s not easy to distance yourself from something when you’re emotionally involved,” Mila said.
I glanced at her again. Her eyes were on the road where mine should have been too. But she surprised me with her wisdom. When she looked at me, her eyes were deep, and she smiled at me.
I turned my eyes back to the road. Mila and I clicked on a level I hadn’t expected. I liked spending time with her. We got along perfectly, and she was so sage, it was refreshing.
BenIt was a pity she was Jerrod’s sister. I would have liked to court her in the true sense of the word, to take her out and spoil her and to spend time with her, exploring every part of who she’d become. But that wasn’t going to happen. I knew how Jerrod felt about keeping her safe, and it would be wrong on so many levels for me to go after Mila. But I could fall in love with this woman if I wasn’t careful. Something about her was intoxicating.“Here we are,” I said, pulling into the parking lot of a beachside restaurant. When we climbed out of the car, the air was filled with the smell of the ocean, and a light breeze tugged at our clothes. It was a beautiful day, perfect to spend time away from our respective jobs and forget about what it meant to take care of everyone else.We walked in and got a table next to a large window so we could admire the view while we ate.“This place is amazing,” Mila said.“You’ve never been here before?”She shook her head. “When your parents own a r
MilaOn Friday, I arrived at the hospital for my afternoon shift to find Mr. Norton awake. He looked a little drowsy after being in a coma, but he was smiling, and Mrs. Norton looked relieved and happy that her husband was back.“Well, this is a wonderful surprise,” I said when I walked in.“Honey, this is Nurse Mila. She was so good to me while you were … you know.”Mr. Norton looked at me. “Thank you, Nurse Mila.”I nodded. “I’m so glad to see you’re awake and feeling better. You had us worried when you came in.” I moved around the room, taking care of my duties. I checked his vitals, put the food tray close to the door, and made sure the pillows were comfortable.Mr. Norton offered a bashful smile. Mrs. Norton held his hand, and I was pretty sure she wasn’t going to let go of him for the foreseeable future.“We also received good news,” Mrs. Norton said, looking lovingly at her husband. “He’s not paralyzed.”“Oh, that is wonderful news,” I said. “Not a lot of people bounce back fro
MilaA lump rose in my throat, but I swallowed it down. I hoped the men had had a chance to say goodbye.When I left the room, I walked to the nurse’s station and recorded the time of death and the cause. I logged the file, and I excused myself.In the restroom, I closed myself into a cubicle and finally let myself fall apart. Sobs racked my chest, and I doubled over, wrapping my arms around myself as if I could keep it together if I did it physically. I’d known this was going to happen. I didn’t know how, but I’d known.Those men would never be the same. I had been lucky enough never to lose a parent, but I knew from what I had seen that the loss of a loved one changed you forever. I had even seen it in Ben, although he’d barely known his dad. Those three men, once they handled their grief in their own way, wouldn’t ever look at life the same.Maybe they would become bitter. Maybe they would blame themselves. Or maybe, they would celebrate the long life of the woman they’d lost, reme
BenOn Saturday, Jerrod and I went into town and found a bar that was hopping with patrons and loud music. I wanted something to draw me away from everyday life. And Jerrod didn’t want to get hammered at his parents’ place. We all needed a break sometimes.“We’re going all-out, tonight,” Jerrod said. “You’re going to have to suffer at work tomorrow.”I shook my head. “I have two days off in a row. Usually, I have twenty-four hours on, twenty-four hours off. But this weekend I have all to myself.”“Even better,” Jerrod said, and we clinked our beer bottles against each other.“So, how’s it going at the station?” Jerrod asked. “I bet you could pick up any woman in this room. A man in uniform and all that.” I laughed. “I guess I could.” But I didn’t want just any woman. Only one had been on my mind lately, a woman I wasn’t allowed to have.“I love my job,” I continued, talking about work rather than having to avoid talking about Mila because Jerrod asked the right questions. “I enjoy th
Ben“I’m not your girl,” Skylar said, pulling a face, and I laughed. Skylar obviously hated it when Jerrod hit on her, and for exactly that reason, he would keep doing it.Mila turned to me, and her smile softened. She looked beautiful, as always. Her hair was down around her face, the tips brushing her shoulders, and she wore a smoky type of eyeshadow that was so popular these days, and it made her look sexy and smoldering. She wore a little black dress that showed off her long legs and heels. I hadn’t seen her from behind, but I was sure it made her ass look great.Despite how hot she looked, there was something about her that was sad. She wasn’t moping, per se, but there was something about her that seemed a little defeated. I had the feeling it had something to do with work. If she wanted to talk about it, I would listen. If she wanted to forget, I would help. I wanted to be there for her. The feeling was so sudden, it caught me off guard. I hadn’t ever wanted to be there for some
MilaWhen I woke up later on Sunday, the sun was already high in the sky, and it fell right on my face through the curtains I had forgotten to close. I turned around and groaned. My head pounded something fierce, and I felt sick to my stomach.It was all the alcohol I had consumed with Ben. It was easy to keep drinking, especially if the company was good. The music played all night long, and the more I drank, the better I felt. Now that it was in the light of a new day—or later the same day—I regretted it all. Why did I drink? It made me feel like shit for a lot longer than it had made me feel good, and it was expensive. Although, the latter didn’t count this time because Ben had paid for my drinks.Which had been very sweet of him. I wondered if he suffered as much as I did today. He’d told me he had to be in great physical condition to be a firefighter and he’d trained for years to keep up his fitness. I had to admit, it made him look fantastic too. Muscular and delicious. But fitne
MilaWe were all on high alert. The woman’s heart stopped twice. We managed to bring her back with a crash cart, but I was terrified she wouldn’t make it through the night. The driver was losing blood so fast, it didn’t have a chance to clot. We had to give him extra blood, and thankfully, he had a common blood type and we had more than enough in the blood bank. When they needed something like O-negative, it got harder.By the time I could tear away for something as simple as a bathroom break, I had been running around for four hours, and there was still no sign of slowing down. I hadn’t paid attention to my hangover. There hadn’t been time. Now that I stopped to take a breath, my head thudded dully and I felt nauseous. I hadn’t had a chance to eat anything. The only thing I’d had all day was the tomato juice.After I finished in the bathroom, I bought a bottle of water and a cereal bar from a vending machine and forced it down even though I didn’t feel like eating.And it helped.Ben
BenSunday had been a fuckup. I had been so hungover, I hadn’t been able to function. My head had felt like it was going to explode, and I had spent half the day hugging the toilet, vomiting out everything my stomach contained even after there was nothing left to get rid of. It was a lesson in self-control if I’d ever had one.Moderation. I should have tried some.I had texted Mila in the morning, but she hadn’t replied. That kiss had been bouncing around in my mind since the moment I had woken up, and I had felt like a bastard for doing that to her when we obviously couldn’t be more.I didn’t even know if she felt anything for me. The passionate response I had gotten from her could very well have been the alcohol speaking. God knows she’d had as much as I’d had.And if she was in any kind of physical shape as I was, she would have suffered as much too. Judging by her spectacular body, she was in great shape, which meant we had both been suffering.I had been such an idiot drinking so