Life was slowly and steadily returning to normal. Did I cry alot after that phone call with Luka? Yes. Did I fight the urge to go to him and be sure he is okay concerning the pregnancy bombshell I dropped on him? Yes. Did I think he'll show up after that night and actually accept responsibility to apologize for the way every thing turned out? Again Yes. But he didn't. Somehow, whatever I said to him must have resounded with him because he stayed away just as I asked. And it took a while but I took a day at a time. I showed up to classes, I smiled when it was necessary and went to as much of the freshers parties I could go to while my therapist tried to make sure I didn't loose my mind. Day in day out, I told myself that now that I have confronted Luka with all the hurt and the pain, I didn't need to see him again and I was happy that he didn't show off so why was he here now and why did I feel the familiar warmth and twinge in my chest that was usually there whenever I was near h
The ride down to Luka's place was one of the most uncomfortable rides I've ever had to endure. My reference to his trysts with other girls was like an elephant in the room. It made me irritated and angry but he looked sad and kept giving me glances which I acted like I wasn't aware of. It was a different apartment from the last one which came to me as a suprise. But what I didn't expect was to see a fur covered, energetic dog launch at me. It did occur to me to go back to the shelter and ask about her wellbeinh after I got out of the hospital but I always assumed she would have been adopted or have moved on without remembering who I was. The moment she saw me she barked loudly and ran to me, wagging her tail. She remembered me, and that made me so warm and happy inside. I spent the next few minutes sitting there on the floor of Luka's studio apartment recieving her licks and hugs and reciprocating her love with my belly rubs and hugs. It took a while before she went on to greet Luk
"I'm really sorry for the part I played in this. Especially knowing that you saw everything that happened that night. We staged a ruse and didn't take you into consideration and for that I'm sorry. Luka is my friend, and all I want is for him to be happy. He means so much to me that's why I came here and I told you my side of the story, it's up to you now whether you believe it or not." Erica ended and got up to leave. I couldn't bring myself to nod or acknowledge her. She had shown me proof that she was after all in a relationship with someone then, who was a professor at their school and telling me this could put her in trouble but she had chosen to do it anyway. I don't know what I was expecting to feel when the 'proof' came, but I'm not sure it's this. If I don't have the usual anger or person to blame for all my predicament then where do I stand? What is this deflated feeling I have in my stomach? Like a balloon punctured at the far end. "Bella," Luka began after a whi
My hands trailed on the rough skin on Bella's thigh with so much concentration that I didn't miss it when she flinched away. The loving and tenderness that I have spent the last one hour coaxing into her skin was gone. In its place was the rigid straightening of her spine and shoulders, an indication of how tense she suddenly became, almost as if she knew what was coming.The last six months we have been living in a bubble. I had accepted that it was okay for her not to say those three magical words that used to make my heart soar back to me, but lately it's been getting to me. Or maybe it's the way she never wants to talk about the 2 year gap in our relationship, or the baby we didn't know we had but lost. I want to know if she still secretly blames me for what happened. If every single time she sees the scars she hates me the way I do myself. I didn't mean to but I sighed loudly, my shoulder drooping before I rolled her body away from mine and got up padding softly to the bathroom
"Stinky fat head," I cursed, slamming the door of my locker with as much strength as I could muster."Brainless ant."Every other person probably burst into tears when they were humiliated in class but not me. When I'm so angry, I curse and plan millions of ways to stab out the perpetrators eyes even though that was all I can do.My name is Bella and I hate school. Which isn't news, considering the fact that almost all teenagers do. But, I am not your regular teenager, not in the smart, genius way. Quite the opposite, this was my second year in this class, because I failed the grade.I hate school because I suck at it.This year I had to go to classes all alone. All my friends have moved on to the 12th grade.Class today consisted mainly of new students and Mr Charles kept calling me to answer questions since I was an old face in
I ran down the stairs, taking it two at a time. As usual I was late. I am that person that will probably show up late on my wedding day because I can't find my underwear or something.The living room slash kitchen area was empty. My mother must have left already. I didn't even see her last night either. In the past week we have spent the majority of the time apart.She must have left already with Anne-Marie, my little sister. The only school that was willing to accept her was far away when we moved to this town last year. So, my mother usually had to wake earlier to get her to school. She was just six years old.Whose fault is that?Mine.I was the reason why Anne-Marie had to pack up and leave so much.I was the sole reason why mom had to leave a good job in a big city and move to a place where she had to work night and
"Mystery Cafeteria Boy!" He stopped at first then whirred around, facing me full on. His eyes were blazing red. "You're my ticket back to basketball. I need you to go to class and show up on all school days." I said with a false bravado. In all honesty, I was scared shitless. He looked intimidating, standing there, staring down at me with mean eyes and tightly drawn lips. First, he put his hands in his ears to remove the airpods, which means he had them on the whole time we were in the Principal's office. This was not good at all. This means he wasn't really listening to what she said and his 'yes' was performative at best. "Shoo away," his hands waving in the air to indicate that he needed me to be gone. Shoo away. Like I was a bird or a little kid he could dismiss. I swallowed every single complaint I could think of choosing instead to say, "You promised the Principal in there that you will come to class and assist me this year?" For the second time in the space of an hour h
I see the accusatory glances people shot my way throughout the rest of the day.The questions in their eyes and the hostility. Just last week I was Bella, the girl that failed a class yet no one really cared enough to make me the whole subject of the school.Did you see Bella making out with Luka in the hallway with his hands wrapped around her neck in that possessive fifty shades of grey way?I wanted to puke when I heard that in the restroom.The source of all my unwanted attention had somehow returned to class not sparing me even a single glance throughout. I couldn't help but to stare at him.I hated him. With his brown eyes and rich dad that could buy a building for his son. I hated the fact that he had it so easy.Immediately the bell rang I packed up and left. I was going to walk today. I needed the tim