47THEAI shivered at that voice and opened my eyes right away, only to find Benedict standing right next to me. His eyes were looking straight ahead, serious and focused. His hair was pushed back and he was still wearing that white colored sheer top that I loved from a while ago. He paired with his white sweater pants and he looked so manly even with such clothes. His long hands were inside the pockets of his sweater pants and as I examined him, he looked like he just woke up based from his adorable puffy eyes. But he's still so handsome, it's irritating.There was silence between us for a while and I guess both of us are still trying to gather our right thoughts and right words on whether what to say to each other. I didn't know why I was feeling this way with him around and it's becoming too unhealthy for me. He makes me feel things that I have been avoiding to feel again and he's the least man I thought of to make me feel this way again. I can't find any reasons why he affects me
48THEAIt has been almost a week since I had that talk with Benedict. I never saw him after that and I got myself busy with job hunting for my internship but I haven't been hired yet. None of those companies I applied for had called me back and I felt giving up already. But lately, I wasn't really worried about having a job or not, I was more bothered about Benedict and what happened that night. I wouldn't know how to act when I will see him again.I must admit that I made some mistakes beforehand when things were still okay for the two of us. Mistakes like pushing him away eversince I met him because of infinite reasons and dont's that I could think of. I was too scared to admit to myself that I was very much attracted to him even though I was denying it all along. The urge was long there, I just didn't bother it too much and now it's firing up.The following morning after that night, Bethany said that Benedict left for work very early and didn't even have breakfast. He just told he
49T H E AThe yacht is heading to an island nearby which was owned by Sebastian and they said we'll be arriving there tomorrow morning. Sebastian's father just finished building a 7-Star resort there and a lot of prominent people from very powerful families have been visiting. The only ways to get there was either by water or by air. Hence the guests can only go to the island either by ship or chopper.I don't know how insane these very rich people could easily spend their money on things like these. I find it unfair because they could waste money as long as they want while other poor people in this world has nothing to eat on their plate and are sleeping with hungry stomach.I sigh as I look out the window and I was anxious of tonight's party. The dress that Bethany let me borrow an hour ago didn't fit because I was too huge. But I wasn't worried about what to wear for tonight, I was more worried of how I will be acting in front of Benedict being with Lovemarie.Honestly, as I reali
50T H E AI sat next to Sebastian alongside the others. The moment I stepped inside this ballroom, everyone looked at me. I was nervous because all of their attention was on me and how these men admired me and said that I was gorgeous. But their words og appreciation didn't matter because I only wanted to know how Benedict thinks of me. Honestly I really wanted to know how Benedict thinks of me right now. I wanted to know how he thinks of how I look with my dress. I wanted to know if he thinks it's too much or just too revealing. I wanted to hear his opinion but he is too busy with Lovie. He probably thinks that she's much prettier than me."Thea, I can't believe how stunning you look right now." PJ complimented me for the fifth time and now his date looks at me as if she's ought to kill me.I smiled at PJ."You've said that for the nth time P." Troy grinsPJ chuckles, "It's because she truly is."PJ's date whose name is Ashley rolled her eyes."Now now PJ. Your date seems to be a li
51B E N E D I C TI waltz around the dancefloor with Bethany but I kept on stealing glances from Thea and Sebastian. I didn't want him to notice that I was looking at his date. I don't want him to doubt our friendship. I don't want him to think that I'm hiding something from him. It's already enough to see him happy. They're happy together anyways.But no matter how hard I try to keep myself unattach from her, it's just too impossible to happen."C'mon Benedict. You obviously have to agree and tell me the truth." I hear Bethany."About what?" I asked, trying to sound annoyed."That dress Thea's wearing." She points out.I look away."You were the one who bought it." Bethany adds."What did she say?" I asked."That Sebastian was the one who bought it for her. He was the one who delivered it to her suite a while ago." She explained.I nod. "Then that's it.""That's it? Don't you dare fool me Benedict. I saw that dress. I was the one who received it from the delivery man that day." She
52T H E AMy body felt weak in a second and I wanted to succumb to what he wants me to do. He makes me wanna stay here and dance with him. He makes me wanna forget about the whole other people inside the ballroom to be with him. He makes me forget that Sebastian is my date and Lovemarie's his tonight.But this isn't wrong, is it?He isn't officially seeing someone and I am available too. But why do I feel like I'm betraying Sebastian?I groan inwardly and wanted to pull myself away but he gently rubs my hand with his soft long fingers. My body melted and followed him as he placed my left arm around his neck and his right hand holding my free hand as he lazily pulled it up to our side. His other hand wraps around my waist and I loved how it stays there, as if he owned me tonight.Benedict, I hope you can read my mind. I hope you can read my mind so that things will be easier and that you'll know that I am already falling for you. No, I think I had been feeling this a few months ago bu
53B E N E D I C TEverything that was surrounding me was quiet and calm now.Me and Thea were both quiet now after two hours and half of having sex. I'm tired but I've never been this satisfied. I lay on her bed with nothing on me and with Thea lying down next to me. Thea lays her head over my chest and she's been awfully quiet for twenty minutes now. It made me feel as if I did something terribly wrong. I wonder if I even satisfied her. I mean, don't get it wrong but I'm the best in bed and I've been told. Not only once but always.I have noticed that Thea has been avoiding to look me in the eye and I guess she just doesn't know how to speak to me after what we unexpectedly did. We were quiet but we were okay. All of a sudden I see Thea pulling her forefinger out and started drawing circles around my left chest. She scribbled some words against my skin but I couldn't understand what it was.I gently placed my hand over the back of her head and started running my fingers through her
54T H E AThea,I have left while you were asleep. You looked beautiful and you slept peacefully so I couldn't wake you up. About what happened, don't worry a thing about it. Nothing will change between us and if it makes you comfortable I'll act like nothing happened. Rest well. I'll see you in the morning.Benedict.I sigh as I slip the small note into my bag and kept inside a secret pocket. The yacht has now arrived the island and I wasn't too excited to be here. Honestly, I wanted to go home now. I don't feel like something good will happen here in this island.I gave out a heavier sigh.Someone suddenly knocks on my door and I see the view of Sebastian entering my room. He smiles at me and gave me a quick hug."I was worried about you last night and where you went to." He says, rubbing my back.I smiled at him. "I wasn't well last night. Seasick."My eyes travelled to the ground. He rubs the top of my hand and said, "Well I'm glad you're all right now."I smiled at him and pulle
87 T H E A Sebastian committed suicide. He ended his own life with a gun in his head. No one even knew how he had a gun in the first place and no one had any idea he was going to do that. He was supposed to meet Ben and the others tomorrow for a reunion. He was supposed to live a new life after being sentenced in prison for seven years. He was supposed to live in a tropical place and start a new life for himself. He was supposed to live a life filled with dreams now that he is out in prison. Sebastian was supposed to live. I was supposed to forgive him. The autopsy report stated that it happened around twelve midnight which means just a few hours after he left our home. I have never felt so depressed in my entire life that I wasn't even able to tell him a lot of things that I wanted to say. I didnt know what I was exactly feeling, completely lost in my thoughts and emotions after Sebastian's passing. I knew that there was something wrong in his eyes when he talked to me becaus
86T H E A"How have you been?" He asks.Sebastian wore blue, white and light pink plaided top, a pair of faded jeans and a dirty white sneakers. He looked older than the last time I saw him and his hair has gotten longer too. He looked different, but those eyes still frightens me.Those merciless eyes.I couldn't stare at him longer and I had to look away from his gaze. I clear my throat, "I have been well." I answered."I'm really glad that you are." Sebastian tells me."Um, do you want to drink something Sebastian? Tea?" Ben offers.I quickly held his wrist, stopping him from leaving me alone in here and stared into his eyes as I said to him. "Please don't leave me here."Ben stares intently at me before he turns to Sebastian who speaks, "You dont really have to offer me anything."I bite my inner cheek and breathe in some confidence before I faced Sebastian. "What are you doing here?"Sebastian stares at me eagerly."What do you want?" I asked firmly."I came here to see if you ha
85T H E AI couldn't sleep the entire night as I was bothered about Sebastian's release happening in just a few hours.Thoughts were filling and piling inside my head one over the other and I don't know if this was going to let me sleep at all.So I slipped out of the bed where Ben was sleeping soundly and headed out of bedroom to get myself a glass of wine from downstairs. I hate myself when I turn to alcohol every time my thoughts are fogged up and fucked up. I hate when there are questions left unanswered and my solution is alcohol.I hated it.I hated it so much I hate myself too.I finished two glasses of wine and spent almost thirty minutes just sitting on a chair where I tried to drown and sort my troubled thoughts. I finally pulled myself up and headed back to my bedroom only until I saw Xavier heading out of his room, crying. I rushed to his side and wished that he wouldn't smell the stingy scent of alcohol from my breath."Xavier." I cooed. "What happened?""Mommy I had a n
84T H E A“Why didn’t you tell him?”Benedict's question still lingers in my mind.Why didn't I tell Sebastian back in the day?I have been asking myself that same question over and over again for the past couple of years. I used to tell myself that I wasn't ready and I know I wasn't ready. I lied to myself when I said I was ready to confess to him about our child but I was absentmindedly denying the fact that my mind was filled with so many thoughts as soon as I faced Sebastian.When I saw him, I was reminded of how he raped me mercilessly. When I saw him, I was reminded of how dirty of a woman I was. When I saw him, I was reminded of how I didn't want this baby to be born if only it hadn't been for Ben.Ben has always been my rock and my strength after everything that happened to me. All these years, he accepted me no matter what and I have been beyond blessed to have a man like that in my life.That kind of love and care he showed me is going to be something I didn't want to waste
83T H E AI stare at my own reflection in front of the mirror, I gained weight but I look different compared to the old me a few weeks ago. My eyes travelled down to my baby bump and as I turn to my side, I feel more anxiety building in the back of my head. I am not confident enough that I will be a good mother to this baby once it’s out when I know this baby came from a man who I trusted so much but just raped me. My bump is starting to show now and I know I have a lifelong responsibility waiting ahead of me. I just hope I will be responsible enough.I rub my hand over my small tummy then smiled at myself.“You will be fine.” I told my baby.Ben is here for me and for us. He always has. He made everything feel better. He made me better and happier without asking too much in return. He is a very selfless man and I owe him my life. My everything and all that I have left.I breathe out heavily and tucked my hair behind my ears as I stare at myself wearing this white dress and white ba
82B E N E D I C TShe stands by the balcony sliding door, staring at an empty space wearing my shirt and some pajamas. Standing here afar from Thea, looking at her, I can see and I can feel that her mind is full. It’s full of endless thoughts and worries. I wish I could take some from her restless bothered thoughts and I wish I could help her with what she is going through.Thea is strong but I don’t want her to have another breakdown. I hope I can share the pain and confusions she is going through right now. I wish, at least I could make her happy despite of what has happened lately.But I don’t know what to do as well.I am bothered too, restless, anxious, troubled and angry. I still have this growing hate in me and unwillingness to befriend Sebastian.I hate him.I walk towards Thea and wrapped my arms around her. She didn’t budge but still sets her eyes out the window. “There are no stars tonight.” I say.She sighs heavily.“Aren’t you hungry sweetheart?” I ask.She didn’t answer
81B E N E D I C T“The CEO of Saintclare Enterprises , finally off the market!!”I read mentally the newspaper’s headlines as soon as I got into my office. I scan through the magazines which were also over my desk, and the headlines were also all about me.I sigh. “I knew this was gonna come out first thing in the morning.”The phone on top of my desk rings, I quickly picked it up, “Yes.”“Mr. Saintclare everyone is calling in for an interview with you. They’re all asking if you have any available time.” I can hear telephones ringing from my secretary’s background.“Cancel all interviews. Tell them I have a busy schedule up until next week.” I hung up.Suddenly the phone in my pocket rings. I stare at the screen and it was Mrs. Brown, my PR.I sigh as I answer, “I know what you’re going to say.”“It’s everywhere. My phone has been ringing since six o’clock this morning. I don’t know what to answer them.”“Did you say anything about Thea?”“No. Not unless you tell me to. I’m only wait
80BENEDICTI stare at Thea, and she has been looking out of the window for minutes now. I know she still has a lot of things in mind with what has happened lately and I’m sure she’s tired of thinking about it too. She has talked to Khaleel and I have had talked to him too. Despite her past, we wanted to keep it to ourselves than letting the others know about it. They wouldn’t understand what she went through to survive and it isn’t our story to tell.I have asked myself a couple of times why she had to choose such job but then I didn’t have the courage to ask her. I don’t want her to feel bad about herself and the more I ask about her past, the more she would think it bothers me.Honestly, it has been in the past and we all have had done crazy shit a thing or two. All of us deserves a second chance and women like Thea who strives hard to change herself to become a better woman deserves more than that. I am proud of her and she knows it.A smile creeps on her face as soon as I rubbed
79THEASometimes, in our lives there are instances when you just want to disappear because of awkward situations or embarrassing moments. And right now, that’s what I want to happen. I want to teleport to another place far from here.It feels like everything inside my system malfunctioned and brain feels dead. I have never felt more disgusted of myself and my past than how Sebastian is embarrassing me right now in front of Ben. No one has ever made me feel so little of myself, only Sebastian.This bastard. This one of a hell man. I wish he dies.My tears were just flowing from my closed eyes and I feel this growing pain against my chest. I try to breathe in but the pain grows as I exhale so I remained quiet. I don’t want to face anyone or see how they look at me with disgust and filth. I just want to disappear like one pop of a bubble or run out of this house and never look back.But I cant, I know I have to face them now. I have to face Khaleel. I have to face Benedict even if it’s