31M I R A N D AIt's been two months since I have seen or talked to Hugo.I think I just confessed to him that I fell for him and it was such a bad way of confession. Recalling all those times I spent with him, I did fall for Hugo Saintclare and I blame him for unknowingly doing it.I hate myself for falling for him, for expecting something from him just because of his stupid words and stupid actions. I hate myself for thinking that he was actually into me but he wasn't. I knew that he has a fiancee and I should have stopped myself from falling. No matter how he explains that he did not intentionally do, his motive was still the same. He used me. He used Ben. Those words still run through my head until now."You okay?" Vivian catches my attention."Yeah.""You look like you need to talk it out. Is it about Hugo again?"I sigh heavily as I answer, "Aside from the fact that I told him to stay away from me, now I keep on thinking about that day when he was still here in New York and I
31.5All those times, I've expected too much from Hugo but it just absolutely meant nothing to him because he was taken. Two months of not seeing Hugo Saintclare or his shadow or anything about him, I got back on my track with the help of Landon. I got better. I'm still living my life.That's right Miranda, you don't need a half-assed lying Hugo.Dating Landon for months now, I've eventually learned to like Landon too. I mean who am I kidding? I have longed for him since I was a teenager but getting to know the real him, made me feel so glad that he allowed me to see the other side of him that he does not show other people. He loves Ben and that's the most important thing for me from a suitor.“Look at this cookie.” Landon shows Ben the halved cookie while I watch them in secret as they lounge inn the living room. “There’s one half of it and here’s the other.”Ben nods.“If this is the last cookie in the entire world, who would you give this half and the other one?” Landon asks.Ben
32M I R A N D A"Mom! Hurry up! Uncle Landon and I are ready." Ben knocks the bathroom door."Let your mom take her time, cookie ear." I hear Landon’s muffled voice as he tells Ben. "C’mon sit with me, let's watch some good ole TV."I've been staring at myself in front of the mirror, wearing this red skimpy bikini that Vivian bought me. I haven't tried it on not until today and God this is too sexy for me. I stare at my bum and it looks alright. I stare at my tummy and it looks okay too. I pulled my hair up into a ponytail using my hand and then I put it down again. .I hear three soft knocks."Miranda?" It's Landon"Uh, yeah?""Ben's been whining about going now.""Oh! Uhhh, yeah. You go ahead. I'll... I'll call you once I'm done here.""Are you okay in there?""Yeah! I'm fine. I just can't find my..... phone." I lied."Okay. So you'll catch with us downstairs?"I take a deep breath in and watch my own reflection wearing this very daring bikini. Don't I look too slutty on this one?
33M I R A N D AWeeks passed by after spending some great time at Villa Roma, we went back to reality and went back home feeling all relaxed, relieved and in love. Well, for me that is.I spent busy days working in Alfonso's and things have been going well, Ben's busy with his school and he is really getting good with his studies and my sweet loving boyfriend Landon has also been pretty busy making new music for his artist. I have been really happy that the lyric change made it to the album and Landon had been more ecstatic for it.Vivian has been happy for me and when she knew about Landon and I making it official, she was far too rhapsodic finding out. She has been thrilled about the fact that my first boyfriend is Landon Thompson and I am ultimately proud of it too.Even until now, it has been hard to sink everything in with Landon but he made everything seem so easy being with him. He has been spending time with us and everything felt really chill with him. He didn’t make it feel
33.5I take his hands to mine and slowly placed it under my shirt moving it up from my stomach up to my bare breasts. His hands over my nipples and taking a handful of my size but his eyes widens and his eyebrows raised in surprise.His eyes travels up to me, “What…” He trails off.I smile at him, “I want it…. with you.”He blinks at me, “Are you sure?”I nod. “Yes Landon. I am.”“I will be careful. Please tel me if--”“I trust you.” I cut his words and he smiles at me.I lean over to him as I begin to kiss his cheeks while his hands were clasping my breasts causing me to moan against his mouth. He slides his tongue inside my mouth, invading my gums, teeth and tongue with his skillful tongue.He begins to pull my shirt off of me, leaving me with my underwear on as his hands were all over my thighs. Our kiss begins to grows deeper as he starts to moan a little louder in my mouth. I begin to rub myself against his bulge and felt really nervous because I haven't had sober sex before.Lan
34M I R A N D A"I am seriously nervous." I say as soon as the car parked right outside their home. I stare at the mansion and my heart is beating louder than I thought it would just seeing the entire huge house.Shit, I can’t even hear anything else. I can only hear my own heart beat pounding like a loud drum.“Nervous of what?” He chuckles.“Of meeting your family.” I answer.Landon laughs softly, “Love, you don’t have to worry about a thing.”I sigh nervously, “I just… I don’t… I…”He reaches for my hand and encourages me with his sweet smile, “You'll do great. I'm sure they'll love you. Relax.”I nod as I force a smile on my face. "But do they know about..." I gaze at Ben before I look back to Landon.Landon exhales as he rubs my arm, "Yes and my mom said they're excited to meet Ben too. Just take it easy. You’re just thinking too much."“Okay.” I answer as I force another smile on my face.Deep inside me, I have a feeling that this would turn out not good.Landon stares at Ben a
34.5"I chose this room because I know how you love reading so much." He says.I smile at him. "Thank you."Landon begins to put our stuff inside the closet while I walk near bookshelves and found tons of great novels worth the read."You wanna bring some with you when we go back to New York?" Landon calls out."Can we?" I ask as I stare at the novels.“Yeah, of course.”“That would be amazing. Who owns these books? Some are classics."I feel Landon standing behind me when he begin to place his arms around my waist, "My mum.” He answers. “She loves reading as well."I nod before I quickly turn to face him as I place my arms around his neck. I stare into his eyes,"Aren't you tired?" I ask."A little." He answers. “Let's go grab something to eat. I'm sure mum prepared some foods for us. C'mon."Landon holds my hand and we begin to head out of the bedroom together as we continued talking about his mother’s fond of books. I felt so happy that his mom welcomed me and Ben like we were part
M I R A N D A I still haven’t gotten over about the fact that Hugo nose my full name. And to make it worse, now was really the time for me to ditch my contact lenses and ruin all my cover. While the foods were served one after another, all of us started eating and while I was doing so, I still feel Hugo's eyes glancing at me from time to time. I have been trying so hard not to meet his gaze because I don’t really want Audrey to be starting a fit in here, not in front of Landon and the others. I slowly pull my head up, trying to take a peek from Hugo but as soon as I did so, he is already staring at me while he feeds himself. Every action he does, he stares at me, when he takes a sip from his drink, when he wipes his cheek with the table napkin or when someone is talking, his damned glue-green eyes were on me. It was so hard not to feel distracted because I came here with Landon and I don’t want him to think of anything and I don’t want him to suspect anything too. I tell myself I
87 T H E A Sebastian committed suicide. He ended his own life with a gun in his head. No one even knew how he had a gun in the first place and no one had any idea he was going to do that. He was supposed to meet Ben and the others tomorrow for a reunion. He was supposed to live a new life after being sentenced in prison for seven years. He was supposed to live in a tropical place and start a new life for himself. He was supposed to live a life filled with dreams now that he is out in prison. Sebastian was supposed to live. I was supposed to forgive him. The autopsy report stated that it happened around twelve midnight which means just a few hours after he left our home. I have never felt so depressed in my entire life that I wasn't even able to tell him a lot of things that I wanted to say. I didnt know what I was exactly feeling, completely lost in my thoughts and emotions after Sebastian's passing. I knew that there was something wrong in his eyes when he talked to me becaus
86T H E A"How have you been?" He asks.Sebastian wore blue, white and light pink plaided top, a pair of faded jeans and a dirty white sneakers. He looked older than the last time I saw him and his hair has gotten longer too. He looked different, but those eyes still frightens me.Those merciless eyes.I couldn't stare at him longer and I had to look away from his gaze. I clear my throat, "I have been well." I answered."I'm really glad that you are." Sebastian tells me."Um, do you want to drink something Sebastian? Tea?" Ben offers.I quickly held his wrist, stopping him from leaving me alone in here and stared into his eyes as I said to him. "Please don't leave me here."Ben stares intently at me before he turns to Sebastian who speaks, "You dont really have to offer me anything."I bite my inner cheek and breathe in some confidence before I faced Sebastian. "What are you doing here?"Sebastian stares at me eagerly."What do you want?" I asked firmly."I came here to see if you ha
85T H E AI couldn't sleep the entire night as I was bothered about Sebastian's release happening in just a few hours.Thoughts were filling and piling inside my head one over the other and I don't know if this was going to let me sleep at all.So I slipped out of the bed where Ben was sleeping soundly and headed out of bedroom to get myself a glass of wine from downstairs. I hate myself when I turn to alcohol every time my thoughts are fogged up and fucked up. I hate when there are questions left unanswered and my solution is alcohol.I hated it.I hated it so much I hate myself too.I finished two glasses of wine and spent almost thirty minutes just sitting on a chair where I tried to drown and sort my troubled thoughts. I finally pulled myself up and headed back to my bedroom only until I saw Xavier heading out of his room, crying. I rushed to his side and wished that he wouldn't smell the stingy scent of alcohol from my breath."Xavier." I cooed. "What happened?""Mommy I had a n
84T H E A“Why didn’t you tell him?”Benedict's question still lingers in my mind.Why didn't I tell Sebastian back in the day?I have been asking myself that same question over and over again for the past couple of years. I used to tell myself that I wasn't ready and I know I wasn't ready. I lied to myself when I said I was ready to confess to him about our child but I was absentmindedly denying the fact that my mind was filled with so many thoughts as soon as I faced Sebastian.When I saw him, I was reminded of how he raped me mercilessly. When I saw him, I was reminded of how dirty of a woman I was. When I saw him, I was reminded of how I didn't want this baby to be born if only it hadn't been for Ben.Ben has always been my rock and my strength after everything that happened to me. All these years, he accepted me no matter what and I have been beyond blessed to have a man like that in my life.That kind of love and care he showed me is going to be something I didn't want to waste
83T H E AI stare at my own reflection in front of the mirror, I gained weight but I look different compared to the old me a few weeks ago. My eyes travelled down to my baby bump and as I turn to my side, I feel more anxiety building in the back of my head. I am not confident enough that I will be a good mother to this baby once it’s out when I know this baby came from a man who I trusted so much but just raped me. My bump is starting to show now and I know I have a lifelong responsibility waiting ahead of me. I just hope I will be responsible enough.I rub my hand over my small tummy then smiled at myself.“You will be fine.” I told my baby.Ben is here for me and for us. He always has. He made everything feel better. He made me better and happier without asking too much in return. He is a very selfless man and I owe him my life. My everything and all that I have left.I breathe out heavily and tucked my hair behind my ears as I stare at myself wearing this white dress and white ba
82B E N E D I C TShe stands by the balcony sliding door, staring at an empty space wearing my shirt and some pajamas. Standing here afar from Thea, looking at her, I can see and I can feel that her mind is full. It’s full of endless thoughts and worries. I wish I could take some from her restless bothered thoughts and I wish I could help her with what she is going through.Thea is strong but I don’t want her to have another breakdown. I hope I can share the pain and confusions she is going through right now. I wish, at least I could make her happy despite of what has happened lately.But I don’t know what to do as well.I am bothered too, restless, anxious, troubled and angry. I still have this growing hate in me and unwillingness to befriend Sebastian.I hate him.I walk towards Thea and wrapped my arms around her. She didn’t budge but still sets her eyes out the window. “There are no stars tonight.” I say.She sighs heavily.“Aren’t you hungry sweetheart?” I ask.She didn’t answer
81B E N E D I C T“The CEO of Saintclare Enterprises , finally off the market!!”I read mentally the newspaper’s headlines as soon as I got into my office. I scan through the magazines which were also over my desk, and the headlines were also all about me.I sigh. “I knew this was gonna come out first thing in the morning.”The phone on top of my desk rings, I quickly picked it up, “Yes.”“Mr. Saintclare everyone is calling in for an interview with you. They’re all asking if you have any available time.” I can hear telephones ringing from my secretary’s background.“Cancel all interviews. Tell them I have a busy schedule up until next week.” I hung up.Suddenly the phone in my pocket rings. I stare at the screen and it was Mrs. Brown, my PR.I sigh as I answer, “I know what you’re going to say.”“It’s everywhere. My phone has been ringing since six o’clock this morning. I don’t know what to answer them.”“Did you say anything about Thea?”“No. Not unless you tell me to. I’m only wait
80BENEDICTI stare at Thea, and she has been looking out of the window for minutes now. I know she still has a lot of things in mind with what has happened lately and I’m sure she’s tired of thinking about it too. She has talked to Khaleel and I have had talked to him too. Despite her past, we wanted to keep it to ourselves than letting the others know about it. They wouldn’t understand what she went through to survive and it isn’t our story to tell.I have asked myself a couple of times why she had to choose such job but then I didn’t have the courage to ask her. I don’t want her to feel bad about herself and the more I ask about her past, the more she would think it bothers me.Honestly, it has been in the past and we all have had done crazy shit a thing or two. All of us deserves a second chance and women like Thea who strives hard to change herself to become a better woman deserves more than that. I am proud of her and she knows it.A smile creeps on her face as soon as I rubbed
79THEASometimes, in our lives there are instances when you just want to disappear because of awkward situations or embarrassing moments. And right now, that’s what I want to happen. I want to teleport to another place far from here.It feels like everything inside my system malfunctioned and brain feels dead. I have never felt more disgusted of myself and my past than how Sebastian is embarrassing me right now in front of Ben. No one has ever made me feel so little of myself, only Sebastian.This bastard. This one of a hell man. I wish he dies.My tears were just flowing from my closed eyes and I feel this growing pain against my chest. I try to breathe in but the pain grows as I exhale so I remained quiet. I don’t want to face anyone or see how they look at me with disgust and filth. I just want to disappear like one pop of a bubble or run out of this house and never look back.But I cant, I know I have to face them now. I have to face Khaleel. I have to face Benedict even if it’s