2
"Miranda!"
Beth and Nina exclaims in unison as they rushed towards me once I entered our hotel room. Both of them hugged me tight and I tried to smile ruefully, keeping my tears to myself but I still feel so disgusted of what I did from last night.
Riding all the way back to my hotel, all I thought about inside the cab was the embarrassing things I did when I was drunk and of course how I ended up having sex with the Hugo Saintclare.
Moreover, it still has not sink in that I actually talked to Landon so casually inside an elevator without screaming at his face and busting his ears. But the traumatic part is the drunken sex with Hugo.
I still can't believe I gave him my virginity like a snap of a finger.
The bloodstain. The look on his face,
I sigh inwardly recalling about it again.
In the cab, I wanted to take a three-hour shower because I feel like I'm a dirty woman, not because I had sex with Hugo but because of that shameful things that I could have done last night that I don't remember. I could be doing embarrassing things being intoxicated and under the influence of alcohol.
Plus, I don't even remember how magical and/or painful it could have been. My first sex was not memorable at all because I don’t have any memories about it.
Right now, I'm having muscle pains every corner of my body. It must have been a wild night because I am completely sore. Hell, even though it was Hugo, I still couldn't believe that I've finally gave it up.
"Where were you?” Nina asks worriedly. “We were worried sick of you! I kept calling your phone but to no avail."
I breathe out heavily.
"Who was that man who asked you to go to the VIP?" Beth asked.
Man?
VIP?
I don’t remember any of that at all.
If that man was Hugo, they could remember something and they would have known that it was him.
"Where did he take you?" Nina added.
“We didn’t know where he took you after that and you were just gone so quick.” Beth adds.
I shake my head in disbelief, that didn’t happen. I didn’t just go with a random man in a club. I begin to cry again and the empty memories are hurting me so much. I don’t know anything that happened to me and what if I was actually taken advantage because I was drunk?
I begin to feel scared of what could have actually happened to me last night. I know he's Hugo, and he's the nicest guy the media shows him to be despite the issues about him being a womanizer but he is a man. He could not have possibly harassed me last night, right?
It hurts how I allowed myself to be in that kind of situation. Even though he is a famous celebrity, that does not mean he has access to my vagina.
What really happened last night? And, how drunk was I?
Since I was crying like there was no tomorrow without answering any of their questions, they lead me to the bed instead. I sit down in between them while they were trying to calm me..
"Oh my god what happened to you? Were you raped?" Beth asked with worried eyes.
"I don’t think so.” I answered while wiping my tears. “I don't know. I don't remember." My voice shakes. "I can't remember a thing." I add.
I pull both of my hands up and covered my face as I continued to cry again. I wanted to tell them what happened but I am in full doubts about it. I know they won't believe me and the story would be so hard to believe. But I remembered that I have proof. I was able to snag a photo of Hugo sleeping a while ago.
"We shouldn't have allowed that man to take you to the VIP." Nina says.
“What?” I gaped in shock.
"You were so persistent. You wanted to go with him.” Beth states.
I was taken aback with her words. I was the one who wanted to go with him. Did she mean Hugo?
“You were so drunk when you agreed to that man, that's why you couldn't remember a thing, I think." Beth adds.
She's right, I couldn't even remember how drunk I was that night. Hence, I don’t remember this man that they are talking about. If it was Hugo then they would be screaming at my face about it.
"You were so giddy last night when we saw Hugo, Ned and Zachary passing by our table." Beth blurts out.
The legendary lead guitarist of SatPat, Ned Hall and the incredible bassist Zachary Monroe were there too?
What a complete bad luck!
I take a pause for a few seconds and started remembering that part from last night. It all just sank in, Beth is right. We were in one club last night. I was acting all crazy when I saw the three of them in the same place as we did. I was too excited that I always took shots one after the other. Hell, I remember not declining to any shots offered.
Oh gosh the embarrassment is completely building up now.
"Where were you the entire night?” Nina interrogates. “Where did you sleep?"
"I was at...." I trailed off.
I look at their faces and there was silence as we were staring at each other. "Promise me you will believe me." I say.
They nod.
I carefully pulled my iPhone out and slowly opened to my gallery but secured the screen against my chest.
"What are you hiding?" Nina quizzes.
"I had sex last night." I blurted out, keeping my phone close to my breasts.
They gasped and covered their mouth at the same time, dramatically surprised. They looked at me in disbelief.
"You filmed the entire thing?!" Nina exclaimed with a smile.
My eyes widened, "What?! No!"
"Then what is it?" Beth asked.
I sigh inwardly, "I don't know how I ended up in his hotel room but I gave my virginity to this man." I began to say.
Both of them stared at each other eagerly with a confused look on their faces. I added, "I took a photo of him while he was asleep before I left so I have a proof. So that you'll believe me.”
I slowly showed them the screen and in a split second, I noticed their eyes getting bigger and their mouths opens wide. I think they paused for three seconds or five.
"Hugo Saintclare?!" They yelled.
"You had sex with him?!" Nina screams at my ear.
"Oh my god that's clearly Hugo! Look at the hair!" Beth adds.
2.5Both of them started screaming loudly and started pulling me back and forth as if I did something really great last night. They were happy for me. They were even happy that Hugo was the one who got my virginity. Well, it is something to be proud, I mean just of a little bit of it. because he is actually freaking Hugo fucking Saintclare from the freaking Satellite Patrol but there is still that shame since he met me in my drunken state. If he'll remember me, he will assume that I am that kind of woman and that I have always been an easy girl my whole life.Seven years later."MOM!! MOMMY!! MOM MOM MOM MOM! I can not find my Ironman shirt!""Honey it's on the top drawer!" I yelled back."Mom I can't! It's not here! Moooom!!"I grunt inwardly as I was quick enough to wipe my hands over my apron after washing the dishes. I pulled it off from my body and ran upstairs to see Benedict still wearing his black jeans with no shirt on him. All of his clothes from the top drawer were scatter
3"Nervous?" I asked Ben with a smile."I am." Ben nervously smiles back but with eagerness in his eyes."You'll be doing great on your first day baby. You always do."When we arrive at his school, I held his hand tight as we walk together to the building. I can tell he was nervous but he was trying his best not to freak out. I walk him to his classroom and to be honest, I feel like I was much more nervous than Ben when we reached his school. I know how it goes in schools and there are always going to be bullies which is one of the reasons why I am scared about. Ben’s a very nice kid and he’s too good that I am scared other kids will bully him because he doesn’t have a father.I squat down before him as I push his curly hair off from his forehead. He smiles at me sweetly and kisses my cheek then hugs me."Thank you for driving me to school for my first day mommy." He says too adorably that it’s warming my heart.I kissed his temple and pulled myself away from him as I smile back tryin
3.5When you’re a nurse, you're always needed in every part of the hospital. Everywhere. It's crazy tiring. But you know, it's a good feeling to be able to help to other people. Seeing them smiling at you and thanking you for things you do for them, it's such an amazing and extremely rewarding feeling. I love helping people just as how it also hurts me seeing a patient expire.Since high school, I wanted to be a nurse by choice because I know I can help my countrymen. I was inspired by the nurses on that movie Pearl Harbor which was really a brave thing for them to do. Ever since after I saw that movie, I wanted to be one someday.Look at me now, a licensed nurse.As the hours pass by, another tiring day came to an end and I hurriedly grabbed all of my stuff to fetch Ben. I got inside my car and drove my way to his school. When I got there, I was right on time when Ben was rushing out from his classroom. I squat down as he rushed into my arms with a smile on his face. He hugs me tight
4Hugo’s blue-green eyes were still staring at me, they look intense but at the same time calm. I think he is trying to figure out where he could have seen me or maybe he knows already about me. Did he already figure out who I am? No, it was seven years ago. There’s no way that he would remember me, that was seven years ago.Relax Miranda.Relax.Don't freak out.I'm sure he doesn't remember you. It has been seven years after what happened to the two of you. I'm sure he won't remember any of that night because I think both of us got insanely drunk.I smiled away my nervousness. "Good evening sir."Sir? I could barf at myself right now for how I address him that after having sex with him. Jesus Christ, my armpits are sweating.I guess we can actually call it as our first proper conversation because I can’t consider something that happened years ago as counted since I was intoxicated. Also, nothing comes to mind when it comes to that sinful night.I still don’t know how I acted.I clea
4.5I feel my pupils dilating after what he said but I quickly recovered from it the moment I realized that I seemed too shock. Miranda, remember he meets millions of people day by day and it’s something that you don’t have to worry about. But then hearing him say that I look familiar makes my heart leap out from my chest. I slightly pulled my arm away from him before he releases me."Sorry for grabbing you." He apologizes right away, while he puts back his hands into his pockets."It's not a big deal, sir." I answered and I still feel awkward addressing him sir.I gaze at my feet and his leather shoes were shiny as fuck that it’s too blinding. I pulled my head back up and stared at Hugo’s luring blue-green eyes which were still glued on mine."Have I seen you somewhere else before?" He asked while furrowing his eyebrows.He looks serious and I am sure he means that. Shit, he recognizes me. He freaking recognizes me!I clipped my opened mouth, "W-well... Some people always have mistak
5Being in one room with Hugo Saintclare again is very unhealthy for a woman like me who has been trying to keep my composure together.After all those years that have happened to me, I could still remember how I woke up that morning and how I got startled when I saw him on top of his own bed, naked with our clothes scattered everywhere on his hotel room floor.And God, of course his goddamn penis. I could never forget the size of that freaking thing not erected.I walked away from Anne's Presidential Suite with a heavy heart and finally felt happy now that my shift is over. I walked to the nurse's lounge to grab my stuff before leaving and tried to shake the thoughts off my head.Maybe this was a sign and chance that I should finally tell Hugo about the whole thing now?I shook the thought out of my head and decided that I shouldn’t do it.He is freaking Hugo Saintclare.Finally, I placed my hair down past my shoulders and tried to finger-comb it. Our hospital’s protocol is to always
5.5Later then I realized that I had no time for fixing my hair back up again. We rushed out of the elevator and noticed that I'm back on the floor where the Presidential suites were found."What are we doing here?" I asked as I try to catch my breath but she was still pulling me."Hurry up or else we're dead." She rushes."There would be someone else who would take care of it right? My shift is over and I don’t think I have more time to stay.” I say like I was rapping.“We need to hurry it’s a VIP!”She claims.“A what?” I gaped. “I thought there's code zero? Wait, you mean a VIP just died and--""We'll be in code zero if I can't bring you with me." She clarifies.."What?" I gaped."Come on!"My hair was completely everywhere. She opens a door right away without me noticing the second we stopped. I looked like a complete shit. Even before I can say anything, she opens a door without even asking me if I agreed to this or not.“Let--”I stiffened the second I saw Hugo standing by the si
6I kept my eyes glued on Mrs. Anne sleeping on her bed, all covered up with the blanket, while I was freezing to death on my wooden seat that I have been sitting on for an hour now because the room is insanely cold. I haven't brought my sweater with me and it is damn freezing in here. I would wish to make the temperature higher but I'm too shy to say anything.We have been quiet for an hour now and I wouldn't want to talk to Hugo because I don't know how to start a conversation with him and he is actually busy too. I wouldn't want to disturb him as well because he looks so focused on his seat. He is really a busy man now as what I've read on the news. He's busy making music, producing music with his own well-known record label and that infamous company of his.But seeing a busy thirty-year-old Hugo working on his laptop makes me think that he has finally matured. He has finally grown up so as his fans. He wasn't the Satellite Patrol lead vocalist who used to sing songs for his fans,
87 T H E A Sebastian committed suicide. He ended his own life with a gun in his head. No one even knew how he had a gun in the first place and no one had any idea he was going to do that. He was supposed to meet Ben and the others tomorrow for a reunion. He was supposed to live a new life after being sentenced in prison for seven years. He was supposed to live in a tropical place and start a new life for himself. He was supposed to live a life filled with dreams now that he is out in prison. Sebastian was supposed to live. I was supposed to forgive him. The autopsy report stated that it happened around twelve midnight which means just a few hours after he left our home. I have never felt so depressed in my entire life that I wasn't even able to tell him a lot of things that I wanted to say. I didnt know what I was exactly feeling, completely lost in my thoughts and emotions after Sebastian's passing. I knew that there was something wrong in his eyes when he talked to me becaus
86T H E A"How have you been?" He asks.Sebastian wore blue, white and light pink plaided top, a pair of faded jeans and a dirty white sneakers. He looked older than the last time I saw him and his hair has gotten longer too. He looked different, but those eyes still frightens me.Those merciless eyes.I couldn't stare at him longer and I had to look away from his gaze. I clear my throat, "I have been well." I answered."I'm really glad that you are." Sebastian tells me."Um, do you want to drink something Sebastian? Tea?" Ben offers.I quickly held his wrist, stopping him from leaving me alone in here and stared into his eyes as I said to him. "Please don't leave me here."Ben stares intently at me before he turns to Sebastian who speaks, "You dont really have to offer me anything."I bite my inner cheek and breathe in some confidence before I faced Sebastian. "What are you doing here?"Sebastian stares at me eagerly."What do you want?" I asked firmly."I came here to see if you ha
85T H E AI couldn't sleep the entire night as I was bothered about Sebastian's release happening in just a few hours.Thoughts were filling and piling inside my head one over the other and I don't know if this was going to let me sleep at all.So I slipped out of the bed where Ben was sleeping soundly and headed out of bedroom to get myself a glass of wine from downstairs. I hate myself when I turn to alcohol every time my thoughts are fogged up and fucked up. I hate when there are questions left unanswered and my solution is alcohol.I hated it.I hated it so much I hate myself too.I finished two glasses of wine and spent almost thirty minutes just sitting on a chair where I tried to drown and sort my troubled thoughts. I finally pulled myself up and headed back to my bedroom only until I saw Xavier heading out of his room, crying. I rushed to his side and wished that he wouldn't smell the stingy scent of alcohol from my breath."Xavier." I cooed. "What happened?""Mommy I had a n
84T H E A“Why didn’t you tell him?”Benedict's question still lingers in my mind.Why didn't I tell Sebastian back in the day?I have been asking myself that same question over and over again for the past couple of years. I used to tell myself that I wasn't ready and I know I wasn't ready. I lied to myself when I said I was ready to confess to him about our child but I was absentmindedly denying the fact that my mind was filled with so many thoughts as soon as I faced Sebastian.When I saw him, I was reminded of how he raped me mercilessly. When I saw him, I was reminded of how dirty of a woman I was. When I saw him, I was reminded of how I didn't want this baby to be born if only it hadn't been for Ben.Ben has always been my rock and my strength after everything that happened to me. All these years, he accepted me no matter what and I have been beyond blessed to have a man like that in my life.That kind of love and care he showed me is going to be something I didn't want to waste
83T H E AI stare at my own reflection in front of the mirror, I gained weight but I look different compared to the old me a few weeks ago. My eyes travelled down to my baby bump and as I turn to my side, I feel more anxiety building in the back of my head. I am not confident enough that I will be a good mother to this baby once it’s out when I know this baby came from a man who I trusted so much but just raped me. My bump is starting to show now and I know I have a lifelong responsibility waiting ahead of me. I just hope I will be responsible enough.I rub my hand over my small tummy then smiled at myself.“You will be fine.” I told my baby.Ben is here for me and for us. He always has. He made everything feel better. He made me better and happier without asking too much in return. He is a very selfless man and I owe him my life. My everything and all that I have left.I breathe out heavily and tucked my hair behind my ears as I stare at myself wearing this white dress and white ba
82B E N E D I C TShe stands by the balcony sliding door, staring at an empty space wearing my shirt and some pajamas. Standing here afar from Thea, looking at her, I can see and I can feel that her mind is full. It’s full of endless thoughts and worries. I wish I could take some from her restless bothered thoughts and I wish I could help her with what she is going through.Thea is strong but I don’t want her to have another breakdown. I hope I can share the pain and confusions she is going through right now. I wish, at least I could make her happy despite of what has happened lately.But I don’t know what to do as well.I am bothered too, restless, anxious, troubled and angry. I still have this growing hate in me and unwillingness to befriend Sebastian.I hate him.I walk towards Thea and wrapped my arms around her. She didn’t budge but still sets her eyes out the window. “There are no stars tonight.” I say.She sighs heavily.“Aren’t you hungry sweetheart?” I ask.She didn’t answer
81B E N E D I C T“The CEO of Saintclare Enterprises , finally off the market!!”I read mentally the newspaper’s headlines as soon as I got into my office. I scan through the magazines which were also over my desk, and the headlines were also all about me.I sigh. “I knew this was gonna come out first thing in the morning.”The phone on top of my desk rings, I quickly picked it up, “Yes.”“Mr. Saintclare everyone is calling in for an interview with you. They’re all asking if you have any available time.” I can hear telephones ringing from my secretary’s background.“Cancel all interviews. Tell them I have a busy schedule up until next week.” I hung up.Suddenly the phone in my pocket rings. I stare at the screen and it was Mrs. Brown, my PR.I sigh as I answer, “I know what you’re going to say.”“It’s everywhere. My phone has been ringing since six o’clock this morning. I don’t know what to answer them.”“Did you say anything about Thea?”“No. Not unless you tell me to. I’m only wait
80BENEDICTI stare at Thea, and she has been looking out of the window for minutes now. I know she still has a lot of things in mind with what has happened lately and I’m sure she’s tired of thinking about it too. She has talked to Khaleel and I have had talked to him too. Despite her past, we wanted to keep it to ourselves than letting the others know about it. They wouldn’t understand what she went through to survive and it isn’t our story to tell.I have asked myself a couple of times why she had to choose such job but then I didn’t have the courage to ask her. I don’t want her to feel bad about herself and the more I ask about her past, the more she would think it bothers me.Honestly, it has been in the past and we all have had done crazy shit a thing or two. All of us deserves a second chance and women like Thea who strives hard to change herself to become a better woman deserves more than that. I am proud of her and she knows it.A smile creeps on her face as soon as I rubbed
79THEASometimes, in our lives there are instances when you just want to disappear because of awkward situations or embarrassing moments. And right now, that’s what I want to happen. I want to teleport to another place far from here.It feels like everything inside my system malfunctioned and brain feels dead. I have never felt more disgusted of myself and my past than how Sebastian is embarrassing me right now in front of Ben. No one has ever made me feel so little of myself, only Sebastian.This bastard. This one of a hell man. I wish he dies.My tears were just flowing from my closed eyes and I feel this growing pain against my chest. I try to breathe in but the pain grows as I exhale so I remained quiet. I don’t want to face anyone or see how they look at me with disgust and filth. I just want to disappear like one pop of a bubble or run out of this house and never look back.But I cant, I know I have to face them now. I have to face Khaleel. I have to face Benedict even if it’s