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Both of them started screaming loudly and started pulling me back and forth as if I did something really great last night. They were happy for me. They were even happy that Hugo was the one who got my virginity. Well, it is something to be proud, I mean just of a little bit of it. because he is actually freaking Hugo fucking Saintclare from the freaking Satellite Patrol but there is still that shame since he met me in my drunken state. If he'll remember me, he will assume that I am that kind of woman and that I have always been an easy girl my whole life.
Seven years later.
"MOM!! MOMMY!! MOM MOM MOM MOM! I can not find my Ironman shirt!"
"Honey it's on the top drawer!" I yelled back.
"Mom I can't! It's not here! Moooom!!"
I grunt inwardly as I was quick enough to wipe my hands over my apron after washing the dishes. I pulled it off from my body and ran upstairs to see Benedict still wearing his black jeans with no shirt on him. All of his clothes from the top drawer were scattered on the floor.
"Ben look at how messy your room is." I sigh.
"Because I cannot find my Ironman shirt. Did you wash it mom?" He asks me, still pulling out all of his shirts from the drawer.
"Yes. I did." I answered with a great certainty. “Now stop getting all of them out.”
I sigh inwardly because he was not listening and he was still doing it.
"Ben, will you stop throwing your clothes everywhere?” I complained while searching for his favorite shirt. “And look at you, you're still on your socks!" I walked towards him and grabbed all the piles of clothes and placed it on top of his bed.
"Mom! My Ironman shirt. I'm not leaving if I'm not wearing it today. It's Monday today. Monday is Ironman shirt day." He seemed to start crying. Oh God, who ever told him Monday is Ironman shirt day.
I started opening the other drawers and looked for his favorite Ironman shirt. "Okay okay. I'll look for it." I say quickly, as fast as I could. I glance at him pouting, "Shoes up, baby. You'll be late for school."
"Okay mommy." Benedict obeys and sits on the foot of the bed as he lace his own shoes.
I kept looking for his all time favorite Ironman shirt and I'll be damned if I can't find it right away. After watching Ironman movies, it's always been something that he loves to wear since he has always idolized that hero.
"Found it." I pulled it out with a smile of relief and rushed towards him.
"YEY! You're the best mommy!" He chimes.
I knelt in front of him as I put on the shirt over his head and fixed his hair and then his shoelace. I kissed his temple and helped him grab his Ironman backpack. Of course, it also had to be Ironman. I stare at my son and I am amazed at how fast he grew up.
Before, I used to carry him in my arms and change his diapers or wake up in the middle of the night when he cries for milk or just cried for whatever baby reason he has. It was tough but now, he's already a first grader and I can't stop feeling all scared for him. Not that he is a naughty little boy because Ben’s smart and kind. Also, I get a little anxious thinking about his first day in school.
I mean, it’s good that he will meet new friends but there’s still that motherly fear I have.
"Are you ready baby?" I ask him.
Benny nods at me with a smile. "I'm a big boy now. I'm six." He pulls out seven fingers.
"Is that six?" I arched an eyebrow.
He giggles. "Ops! I mean... One, two, three, four, five, six. Six!" He counts carefully as he pulls one finger after the other.
"Six." He smiles widely.
I smiled and kissed his forehead, "Very good. Let's go. Time for me to drive you to school."
Both of us stumbled our way downstairs and grabbed his lunch bag for him. I opened the passenger door and he gets inside all by himself like a big little boy. He says he doesn't need my help getting inside the car anymore because he's already a big boy.
It’s adorable so I let him but I still assist when he needs help.
I'm proud of my son because he's been very understanding and incredibly sweet. Even though he still doesn't know who his father is and there are times that he asks me about his dad, he still tries to understand what I tell him despite his young age.
I'm not ready to tell him the truth yet and I don't want to set his hopes up when he'll know about his real father. I doubt if he would accept his own son in the first place.
So many things happened to me the past years all by myself.
"Buckle up sweetheart," I say as I drive out of the driveway.
Ben does what I told him and he kicks his feet mid air on his seat continuously and bites his fingernails at the same time, I know he only does that when he's scared or nervous about something. I do not do that, it's sort of his habit. Maybe he got it from his father.
Well, based on Ben's undeniably brown curly hair on top of his head, his bright blue-green eyes and that cheeky dimpled smile which is awfully too familiar, I know he got it all from Hugo.
Benedict looks like an exact copy of Hugo Saintclare and I could not even deny it.
That has nothing to be discussed.
He resembles like Hugo so much, it’s actually too scary.
Of course.
An obvious freaking yes.
A big fat freaking yes because well, he is actually Ben's father.
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3"Nervous?" I asked Ben with a smile."I am." Ben nervously smiles back but with eagerness in his eyes."You'll be doing great on your first day baby. You always do."When we arrive at his school, I held his hand tight as we walk together to the building. I can tell he was nervous but he was trying his best not to freak out. I walk him to his classroom and to be honest, I feel like I was much more nervous than Ben when we reached his school. I know how it goes in schools and there are always going to be bullies which is one of the reasons why I am scared about. Ben’s a very nice kid and he’s too good that I am scared other kids will bully him because he doesn’t have a father.I squat down before him as I push his curly hair off from his forehead. He smiles at me sweetly and kisses my cheek then hugs me."Thank you for driving me to school for my first day mommy." He says too adorably that it’s warming my heart.I kissed his temple and pulled myself away from him as I smile back tryin
Beautifully Unfinished 3.5
3.5When you’re a nurse, you're always needed in every part of the hospital. Everywhere. It's crazy tiring. But you know, it's a good feeling to be able to help to other people. Seeing them smiling at you and thanking you for things you do for them, it's such an amazing and extremely rewarding feeling. I love helping people just as how it also hurts me seeing a patient expire.Since high school, I wanted to be a nurse by choice because I know I can help my countrymen. I was inspired by the nurses on that movie Pearl Harbor which was really a brave thing for them to do. Ever since after I saw that movie, I wanted to be one someday.Look at me now, a licensed nurse.As the hours pass by, another tiring day came to an end and I hurriedly grabbed all of my stuff to fetch Ben. I got inside my car and drove my way to his school. When I got there, I was right on time when Ben was rushing out from his classroom. I squat down as he rushed into my arms with a smile on his face. He hugs me tight
Beautifully Unfinished 4
4Hugo’s blue-green eyes were still staring at me, they look intense but at the same time calm. I think he is trying to figure out where he could have seen me or maybe he knows already about me. Did he already figure out who I am? No, it was seven years ago. There’s no way that he would remember me, that was seven years ago.Relax Miranda.Relax.Don't freak out.I'm sure he doesn't remember you. It has been seven years after what happened to the two of you. I'm sure he won't remember any of that night because I think both of us got insanely drunk.I smiled away my nervousness. "Good evening sir."Sir? I could barf at myself right now for how I address him that after having sex with him. Jesus Christ, my armpits are sweating.I guess we can actually call it as our first proper conversation because I can’t consider something that happened years ago as counted since I was intoxicated. Also, nothing comes to mind when it comes to that sinful night.I still don’t know how I acted.I clea
Beautifully Unfinished 4.5
4.5I feel my pupils dilating after what he said but I quickly recovered from it the moment I realized that I seemed too shock. Miranda, remember he meets millions of people day by day and it’s something that you don’t have to worry about. But then hearing him say that I look familiar makes my heart leap out from my chest. I slightly pulled my arm away from him before he releases me."Sorry for grabbing you." He apologizes right away, while he puts back his hands into his pockets."It's not a big deal, sir." I answered and I still feel awkward addressing him sir.I gaze at my feet and his leather shoes were shiny as fuck that it’s too blinding. I pulled my head back up and stared at Hugo’s luring blue-green eyes which were still glued on mine."Have I seen you somewhere else before?" He asked while furrowing his eyebrows.He looks serious and I am sure he means that. Shit, he recognizes me. He freaking recognizes me!I clipped my opened mouth, "W-well... Some people always have mistak
Beautifully Unfinished 5
5Being in one room with Hugo Saintclare again is very unhealthy for a woman like me who has been trying to keep my composure together.After all those years that have happened to me, I could still remember how I woke up that morning and how I got startled when I saw him on top of his own bed, naked with our clothes scattered everywhere on his hotel room floor.And God, of course his goddamn penis. I could never forget the size of that freaking thing not erected.I walked away from Anne's Presidential Suite with a heavy heart and finally felt happy now that my shift is over. I walked to the nurse's lounge to grab my stuff before leaving and tried to shake the thoughts off my head.Maybe this was a sign and chance that I should finally tell Hugo about the whole thing now?I shook the thought out of my head and decided that I shouldn’t do it.He is freaking Hugo Saintclare.Finally, I placed my hair down past my shoulders and tried to finger-comb it. Our hospital’s protocol is to always
Beautifully Unfinished 5.5
5.5Later then I realized that I had no time for fixing my hair back up again. We rushed out of the elevator and noticed that I'm back on the floor where the Presidential suites were found."What are we doing here?" I asked as I try to catch my breath but she was still pulling me."Hurry up or else we're dead." She rushes."There would be someone else who would take care of it right? My shift is over and I don’t think I have more time to stay.” I say like I was rapping.“We need to hurry it’s a VIP!”She claims.“A what?” I gaped. “I thought there's code zero? Wait, you mean a VIP just died and--""We'll be in code zero if I can't bring you with me." She clarifies.."What?" I gaped."Come on!"My hair was completely everywhere. She opens a door right away without me noticing the second we stopped. I looked like a complete shit. Even before I can say anything, she opens a door without even asking me if I agreed to this or not.“Let--”I stiffened the second I saw Hugo standing by the si
Beautifully Unfinished 6
6I kept my eyes glued on Mrs. Anne sleeping on her bed, all covered up with the blanket, while I was freezing to death on my wooden seat that I have been sitting on for an hour now because the room is insanely cold. I haven't brought my sweater with me and it is damn freezing in here. I would wish to make the temperature higher but I'm too shy to say anything.We have been quiet for an hour now and I wouldn't want to talk to Hugo because I don't know how to start a conversation with him and he is actually busy too. I wouldn't want to disturb him as well because he looks so focused on his seat. He is really a busy man now as what I've read on the news. He's busy making music, producing music with his own well-known record label and that infamous company of his.But seeing a busy thirty-year-old Hugo working on his laptop makes me think that he has finally matured. He has finally grown up so as his fans. He wasn't the Satellite Patrol lead vocalist who used to sing songs for his fans,
Beautifully Unfinished 7
7"I'm not going. That's final." I say."Oh come on Miranda. Don't be such a baby! Maybe fate has led you back to him."I roll my eyes at no one, "Well fate is definitely wrong about this.""No. It's not." She argues.I arched an eyebrow at Vivian who was busy looking for my outfit to wear tonight. "Really. After seven years? And why on earth would that be?" I asked."I don't know. Maybe it's time you need to tell him the truth? That he got you pregnant? That he's the father to Ben?""Shhh, Ben might hear you." I shushed right away.She sighs. "Miranda, I'm your friend for better or for worst."I know where this conversation is going.She continues, “But what and why are you so afraid?”I didn’t answer.“Ben needs a dad." She states and emphasizes on the second word. I know that. "He needs a father's love. And I'm not saying you can't give it to him but it's different when a man is around." She adds."Okay I know that Vivian.” I stare on my hand trying to look for the words to say. “I
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Beautifully Unfinished 87
87 T H E A Sebastian committed suicide. He ended his own life with a gun in his head. No one even knew how he had a gun in the first place and no one had any idea he was going to do that. He was supposed to meet Ben and the others tomorrow for a reunion. He was supposed to live a new life after being sentenced in prison for seven years. He was supposed to live in a tropical place and start a new life for himself. He was supposed to live a life filled with dreams now that he is out in prison. Sebastian was supposed to live. I was supposed to forgive him. The autopsy report stated that it happened around twelve midnight which means just a few hours after he left our home. I have never felt so depressed in my entire life that I wasn't even able to tell him a lot of things that I wanted to say. I didnt know what I was exactly feeling, completely lost in my thoughts and emotions after Sebastian's passing. I knew that there was something wrong in his eyes when he talked to me becaus
Beautifully Unfinished 86
86T H E A"How have you been?" He asks.Sebastian wore blue, white and light pink plaided top, a pair of faded jeans and a dirty white sneakers. He looked older than the last time I saw him and his hair has gotten longer too. He looked different, but those eyes still frightens me.Those merciless eyes.I couldn't stare at him longer and I had to look away from his gaze. I clear my throat, "I have been well." I answered."I'm really glad that you are." Sebastian tells me."Um, do you want to drink something Sebastian? Tea?" Ben offers.I quickly held his wrist, stopping him from leaving me alone in here and stared into his eyes as I said to him. "Please don't leave me here."Ben stares intently at me before he turns to Sebastian who speaks, "You dont really have to offer me anything."I bite my inner cheek and breathe in some confidence before I faced Sebastian. "What are you doing here?"Sebastian stares at me eagerly."What do you want?" I asked firmly."I came here to see if you ha
Beautifully Unfinished 85
85T H E AI couldn't sleep the entire night as I was bothered about Sebastian's release happening in just a few hours.Thoughts were filling and piling inside my head one over the other and I don't know if this was going to let me sleep at all.So I slipped out of the bed where Ben was sleeping soundly and headed out of bedroom to get myself a glass of wine from downstairs. I hate myself when I turn to alcohol every time my thoughts are fogged up and fucked up. I hate when there are questions left unanswered and my solution is alcohol.I hated it.I hated it so much I hate myself too.I finished two glasses of wine and spent almost thirty minutes just sitting on a chair where I tried to drown and sort my troubled thoughts. I finally pulled myself up and headed back to my bedroom only until I saw Xavier heading out of his room, crying. I rushed to his side and wished that he wouldn't smell the stingy scent of alcohol from my breath."Xavier." I cooed. "What happened?""Mommy I had a n
Beautifully Unfinished 84
84T H E A“Why didn’t you tell him?”Benedict's question still lingers in my mind.Why didn't I tell Sebastian back in the day?I have been asking myself that same question over and over again for the past couple of years. I used to tell myself that I wasn't ready and I know I wasn't ready. I lied to myself when I said I was ready to confess to him about our child but I was absentmindedly denying the fact that my mind was filled with so many thoughts as soon as I faced Sebastian.When I saw him, I was reminded of how he raped me mercilessly. When I saw him, I was reminded of how dirty of a woman I was. When I saw him, I was reminded of how I didn't want this baby to be born if only it hadn't been for Ben.Ben has always been my rock and my strength after everything that happened to me. All these years, he accepted me no matter what and I have been beyond blessed to have a man like that in my life.That kind of love and care he showed me is going to be something I didn't want to waste
Beautifully Unfinished 83
83T H E AI stare at my own reflection in front of the mirror, I gained weight but I look different compared to the old me a few weeks ago. My eyes travelled down to my baby bump and as I turn to my side, I feel more anxiety building in the back of my head. I am not confident enough that I will be a good mother to this baby once it’s out when I know this baby came from a man who I trusted so much but just raped me. My bump is starting to show now and I know I have a lifelong responsibility waiting ahead of me. I just hope I will be responsible enough.I rub my hand over my small tummy then smiled at myself.“You will be fine.” I told my baby.Ben is here for me and for us. He always has. He made everything feel better. He made me better and happier without asking too much in return. He is a very selfless man and I owe him my life. My everything and all that I have left.I breathe out heavily and tucked my hair behind my ears as I stare at myself wearing this white dress and white ba
Beautifully Unfinished 82
82B E N E D I C TShe stands by the balcony sliding door, staring at an empty space wearing my shirt and some pajamas. Standing here afar from Thea, looking at her, I can see and I can feel that her mind is full. It’s full of endless thoughts and worries. I wish I could take some from her restless bothered thoughts and I wish I could help her with what she is going through.Thea is strong but I don’t want her to have another breakdown. I hope I can share the pain and confusions she is going through right now. I wish, at least I could make her happy despite of what has happened lately.But I don’t know what to do as well.I am bothered too, restless, anxious, troubled and angry. I still have this growing hate in me and unwillingness to befriend Sebastian.I hate him.I walk towards Thea and wrapped my arms around her. She didn’t budge but still sets her eyes out the window. “There are no stars tonight.” I say.She sighs heavily.“Aren’t you hungry sweetheart?” I ask.She didn’t answer
Beautifully Unfinished 81
81B E N E D I C T“The CEO of Saintclare Enterprises , finally off the market!!”I read mentally the newspaper’s headlines as soon as I got into my office. I scan through the magazines which were also over my desk, and the headlines were also all about me.I sigh. “I knew this was gonna come out first thing in the morning.”The phone on top of my desk rings, I quickly picked it up, “Yes.”“Mr. Saintclare everyone is calling in for an interview with you. They’re all asking if you have any available time.” I can hear telephones ringing from my secretary’s background.“Cancel all interviews. Tell them I have a busy schedule up until next week.” I hung up.Suddenly the phone in my pocket rings. I stare at the screen and it was Mrs. Brown, my PR.I sigh as I answer, “I know what you’re going to say.”“It’s everywhere. My phone has been ringing since six o’clock this morning. I don’t know what to answer them.”“Did you say anything about Thea?”“No. Not unless you tell me to. I’m only wait
Beautifully Unfinished 80
80BENEDICTI stare at Thea, and she has been looking out of the window for minutes now. I know she still has a lot of things in mind with what has happened lately and I’m sure she’s tired of thinking about it too. She has talked to Khaleel and I have had talked to him too. Despite her past, we wanted to keep it to ourselves than letting the others know about it. They wouldn’t understand what she went through to survive and it isn’t our story to tell.I have asked myself a couple of times why she had to choose such job but then I didn’t have the courage to ask her. I don’t want her to feel bad about herself and the more I ask about her past, the more she would think it bothers me.Honestly, it has been in the past and we all have had done crazy shit a thing or two. All of us deserves a second chance and women like Thea who strives hard to change herself to become a better woman deserves more than that. I am proud of her and she knows it.A smile creeps on her face as soon as I rubbed
Beautifully Unfinished 79
79THEASometimes, in our lives there are instances when you just want to disappear because of awkward situations or embarrassing moments. And right now, that’s what I want to happen. I want to teleport to another place far from here.It feels like everything inside my system malfunctioned and brain feels dead. I have never felt more disgusted of myself and my past than how Sebastian is embarrassing me right now in front of Ben. No one has ever made me feel so little of myself, only Sebastian.This bastard. This one of a hell man. I wish he dies.My tears were just flowing from my closed eyes and I feel this growing pain against my chest. I try to breathe in but the pain grows as I exhale so I remained quiet. I don’t want to face anyone or see how they look at me with disgust and filth. I just want to disappear like one pop of a bubble or run out of this house and never look back.But I cant, I know I have to face them now. I have to face Khaleel. I have to face Benedict even if it’s
