Even though it's a story that's been told to me a thousand times, I
cannot deny the swell in my throat when I think of my mother. It'san unquenchable inferno of pain, and agony, and memories, that Iblock off with a fractured wall. No weakness. Strength, only."Fight me," I say aloud, eager for a reprieve from this torturouswait. Sage furrows his eyebrows in hesitance."Go on, fight me," I repeat when Sage doesn't move. My fingerslatch onto his jacket as I tug him from the ground forcefully. Sincehis own Change two months ago, Sage has been wary to spar withme. It takes time after the Change to know your own strength, andI see his fear in injuring me."We've been through this. I'm not a pane of fragile glass, ready toshatter when I do fall. Besides, now fighting you is finallysomewhat of a challenge," I tease. His lips curve into a reluctantsmile as I guide him to a larger patch of grass."Fine. As you wish, princess."A low growl rumbles in the base of my throat, I hate when he callsme that. And he knows it too, but it provides enough fuel toempower my strength as I take stance - my right knee bent justslightly as my left holds my weight, fists clenched and mind ready.Sage has the advantage of sight amidst darkness, but I don't letthat intimidate me.Searching for strengths in your opponent only highlights your ownweaknesses.I know his body well; his broad shoulders and protruding musclesgive him the strength to crush me beneath his fingers if he somuch as decided it, but the extra mass only slows him down.He charges at me, kicking his legs in the air one after another in atornado-formation as his boot looms toward my temple. His bodysoars high, and I crane my entire body backward to dodge theoncoming kick. Thrusting the palm of my hand against the base ofhis throat, Sage falls to the ground heavily, gripping onto his neckas the breath leaves his lungs and catches in his windpipe.As a child I realised I wouldn't be able to defeat my opponents onstrength alone. And as a woman, I would always be viewed as lessthan threatening to the other Lupina brutes. My interest in humananatomy burgeoned. As well as weaknesses which I couldphysically see, I wanted to learn those vulnerabilities that laybeneath the skin."Fighting dirty, as always. You know it's cheating, Kade," he chokesout through a playful smile. I wink, before throwing my foottowards the base of his stomach. He rolls away from my kicksuddenly. My eyes widen once he latches his fingers onto myankle, pulling me down to earth. I feel my body smack against thedirt and I crawl backwards from Sage—who now has the upper-hand. He throws himself towards me, eager to trap me beneath hisweight, but I bring my knees to my chest and place my feet againsthis shoulders before thrusting outward, and Sage, off of me. Hestaggers backwards from my blow, and I quickly advance on hismomentary pain and pin him under my own bodyweight."Do you think the Pantera will play nice when you're faced withthem on a battlefield?" I question lightly.My weight alone can't trap Sage, so I dig my forefinger into theskin by his ribs at another pressure point. If he tries to rise, he'llexperience an excruciating pain. Details that would make mymethods sound a little gory.He throws his head back in realization and laughs, he knows mymove well. The heat of his body beneath mine makes me forget allabout the wind's bitterness, the way the tendrils of its chill wrapsitself around my spine. I tighten my legs around his waist, leaningforward and whispering into his ear, "I win."Sage chuckles and, whilst still remaining on his back, brushes theback of my knee with his fingertips lightly, causing me to squealand release him as the tickle of his feather-light touch leaves meweak to the overthrow. And now he's the one on top of me, hislegs on either side of my body, looking down into my eyes as hislips form a merciless smile. My heart sinks when he encloses mywrists with his deathly grasp and I cannot move."Sorry, princess. I'm afraid I win this time."
The hollow feeling in the pit of my heart isn't from losing the battle,but from the acknowledgement that as of tomorrow, Sage mightnot be in my life anymore. He, too, is a constant in my life I'venever imagined living without, never even considered it apossibility. As if sensing my thoughts, he rolls off of me andflashes me a piteous look."Hey, don't worry. I'm sure after tomorrow you'll be kicking my assagain in no time. You're still the strongest human I've ever fought,"he offers. I force a smile and know it's a weak attempt at easingmy nerves.But those thoughts are malignant, and should I search for them,they're all I'll ever see.My body stills hums with the adrenaline of our fight, it movesalong my body like an electric current and ignites my soul. We bothstare up at the moon which now has reached the point at which itwill begin to sink beneath the horizon line and dip back into the sea—that half-way mark that unfolds the sky as another day passes.Sage's blonde hairs shimmer beneath the glow of night, and theglint of his teeth flash as he smiles at me. My own hair swallowsthe light hole, traps it in the clench of dull darkness. I wonder ifthat too will change as I Change."Happy birthday, Kadence," Sage says. My heart twists and tightensin my chest as nerves maliciously claw away at me. My eighteenthbirthday. When the moon rises once more, that is when I'll knowwhether or not I will finally become the one thing I've trained to bemy entire life, whose history I've studied since I first learned toread, whose world I've grown to love. My world. The only world I'veever imagined living in.A human life is not for me, but if I don't Change, that's the onlyoption I'll have. To become an outcast, to forget my entire family,to forget their secrets and the magic of Skinwalkers. If I even somuch as whisper a word of what I've seen, I will be killedimmediately—daughter or no daughter of Aaron Riley."Kadence!" I hear from behind me, suddenly jolting me from mythoughts. I turn to see my younger sister, Clara, running up the hillto the View. The 'View' isn't a very original name for the cliff meand Sage often sneak off to, but it's something that began fromthe breath-taking sight once you'd stand at its edge. I always preferit at night. The sky becomes a purple glow for a canvas, littlespecks of stars and street lights scattered across the horizon. It'sa constant reminder that even in darkness, light will always rise tomeet it."K-Kadence," Clara mutters breathlessly as she nears us. Sage andI rise to our feet as my sister grips onto her chest, as if she's atthe finishing line of a triathlon."Breathe, Clara. What is it?" I question, noticing the panic etched inthe creases of her forehead. All humour of the night suddenlybecomes extinguished."Must...come home...Pantera sightings," she splutters out. I look toSage, whose face darkens from her words. Last time the Panteraventured onto wolf territory, my mother was killed—a ploy toweaken my father. I remember the oozing, sticky substance, themetallic and sickeningly sweet smell of blood, the dark strands ofhuman hair mixed with wolf as they caught her mid-change, theblankness in her eyes as I found her lying in the woods. In thespan of seconds, they stole the light from her and replaced it witha fog of nothingness; her soul tossed to oblivion.I shake the images away. I won't think of the dead when I have theliving to worry about."Let's go," I say to Sage. He nods, and I run as fast as I can untilmy lungs are burning and the human weaknesses infiltrate mybody, telling it to stop pushing so hard.My sister trails behind as we dodge through the branches andtwigs scathing our path, so I grip onto her wrist and pull her withthe strength I have. We jump, duck, and trudge through theremnants of trees. I listen to the rhythmic pace of our feetcrunching against the barren leaves. My sister's protests soundfrom behind me, the harsh breath of forced air from the lungs.Crunch.
The sound is foreign to our steady rhythm, that extra little beatalien to our track —an injection of something that does not belong.I grasp onto Sage's shoulders and stop both him and my sisteruntil we're frozen, and silence both consumes and spits us out.Sage's eyes meet mine, and I know he has heard an extrafootstep. My sister's uneasiness heightens once we've stopped,fear crawling across her face. She knows as well as I howprecarious life is for those who share a leader's blood.My heart is out of my control now, throbbing wildly like an animalreleased from its cage. My ears twitch when I listen for that extracrunch once more. It could be something far less menacing thanPantera, perhaps a rabbit or a bird, but can I risk it? Sage shakeshis head at me to say there's nothing there, and I know I shouldtrust his post-Change hearing above mine, but I can taste thebitterness of danger on my tongue. He wasn't there when mymother's body was found. He couldn't sense the cold scar ofdanger in the surroundings. I can taste something reminiscent ofthat in the air now."We have to get out of here," Sage's voice breaks through thesilence. I pause for a second and listen, intently, for that isolate.My eyes dart throughout the forest, through the twigs and bark,and I feel blind when my search turns up nothing. Silence. Never-ending silence, but our ragged breaths and wild, beating hearts.There are eyes on me; it's an irritation I cannot shake. The longerwe stay the more I feel drawn into madness by it.We trudge through earth again until light cracks through the otherside of the forest and we're in my backyard. I can see some of theclan inside through the window, along with my father. We burstthrough the kitchen-door, my lungs ablaze and sweat sticking tomy forehead, along with my sister who looks like she mightcollapse."Kadence," my father breathes out in relief as he wraps me in anembrace. My body remains frozen and rigid as I inhale the scent ofmy father, the familiar smell of musk and pine wrapping aroundme. I'm glad to see him unharmed, but at least if he was hurt thatmight explain why he sent my little sister out to come and get mewhile the Pantera are on our territory. My human, fourteen year old,vulnerable sister."Clara, can you go up to your room, please?" I flash her a weaksmile, and she plants her best frown before running up the stairs.Pushing the guilt away, I glare at my father, then to the other clanmembers. Tarin is here, my father's right-hand man who acts aswell as an advisor and long-time friend, along with three othermen: Lorcan, Samuel and Alan."Couldn't have come to get me yourself? Or at least one of them?"I ask as I nod to the other four members in the room. My fathersighs as he readies his hands in the air, a mannerism of his whenhe's about to explain himself. An elaborate explanation no doubt,with concrete points and solid evidence. And he'll somehowconvince me that it's okay to put his other daughter at risk,because she's not the one who will take over his leadershipsomeday, and she's not a warrior. Though he'd never directly usethe word 'expendable' I often see it flickering on the surface of histongue."Save it, just tell me what's going on," I bite back. Tarin stepsforward, a middle-aged man with greying hair and aged skin. Stillan excellent fighter nonetheless. Older Skinwalkers are few and farbetween nowadays. He brushes his stubbly chin with the back ofhis hand, as if he's about to break some bad news."Samuel and Lorcan caught sight of Pantera on the westernoutskirts of the ravine only a half hour ago. I've sent some men tosurvey the area again but it seems they couldn't find anything,which means either they've turned around or are just too good athiding. I'm betting on the latter," Tarin's mutters, practicallyspitting his distaste."The Pantera wouldn't cross our territory without an importantpurpose, and they wouldn't be scared off by a couple of Lupina togo abandoning that task," Alan adds, running a strong handthrough his carrot-red hair."How many were spotted? Were you attacked?" I turn to Lorcanand Samuel whose faces represent the epitome of hatred. It's saideven the scent of the panthers can drive the wolves into amaddened bloodlust, desperate to tear the flesh from their skin.Both men's primal, animalistic instincts are raging and spreadinglike wildfire."There were two of 'em. Ran away too quickly before we couldChange, the bastards didn't even bother to confront us," Lorcanchokes out through his disgust, his Irish lilt only stronger with hisrage. His fingernails dig into our counter-top in frustration as hestruggles to grasp onto control, so instead he finds the nearesttangible thing."They didn't come to confront us," my father says. He steps infront of the men, concreting his leadership on the matter. Ofcourse, he's right. If they came to attack, then they would'veattacked without a single hesitation or doubt. No, there wassomething on the tip of my father's tongue."What do you think they want?" I demand.Now everyone in the room is looking at me, and finally, it hits melike the descent of a torrential wave."You think they want me," I mutter in realization, followed by agrunt of annoyance. Just brilliant, I almost say. My father nods,and I look back at Sage and Clara. Both of them give me a gravelook, as if they're already mourning me. I huff, I won't let thePantera get to me."It is your eighteenth birthday, and you will lead the Lupina whenI'm gone. Makes sense that they would go after you before youChange, while you're at your most vulnerable," he replies. It doesn'tgo without my notice that my father seems so certain I'll Change,the possibility that I could merely be a human isn'tcomprehensible. Especially for our bloodline. Throughout theyears, the Rileys have had to marry those with an untainted familytree. It was something that seemed very old-fashioned, if not a bitancient, but it was one of the most important rules a Riley had tofollow. There was uproar when he wed my mother, someone whocould possess a recessive gene, someone who could completelycorrupt the bloodline. But my father wanted her, and there wasnothing my father would not have.If the Pantera did manage to get to me, then that could potentiallyweaken the Lupina in the long-run. Leadership is obtained throughblood in our clan, and if I was suddenly out of the picture thenClara would be forced to lead. I love my sister, but she's neitherthe fighting nor the leading type."They won't strike during the day, they know we'll have theadvantage if they do, and they definitely won't attack in theClearing. That'd be suicidal, every single wolf will be there towitness my Change."Everyone in the room contemplates my words. Samuel andLorcan's jaws clench tightly as a muscle in their neck throbs inanger. They need to kill something, anything, to release the tide ofrage bubbling fiercely inside of them."I'll protect her," Sage offers, stepping forward to be heard."Good. Alan and Sage will be by your side until there is no longerany danger, Kadence."I can protect my own god damned self, I want to say. But I bite mytongue, because there's no use in protesting my father's wordswhen he's probably right. I won't be a fool out of pride orstubbornness, even the best of my father's men would struggleagainst Pantera. Alan nods and remains quiet, as he usually tendsto do.I'm being followed around for a day while vicious Pantera threatenmy life to prevent a Change that, if doesn't occur, will outcast meto an empty existence as a silenced human. How joyous."Oh, and Kadence," my father begins, resting a heavy hand on myshoulder. I feel his cold breath on my neck as he speaks, wordsbuilt on a tower of expectations."Happy Birthday, my little wolf."I see who I am.I'm looking in a reflection, staring back at a turbulent, obstinateheart. I know who it is that faces me, but that is not what matters.It is paramount in the minds of my world exactly what you are,because what ties the bond between blood and water is not loyaltynor the falsity of words, but the beast within our heart.Everything will change tonight; for the good, the bad, or the worst.I cup a pool of water in my palms, throwing whatever droplets thatdon't slip through my fingers against my face. I'm washing awaythe final remnants of present Kadence, because no matter theoutcome of tonight's endeavours, I will be leaving behind afragment of myself. When the full moon rises, it will rot andblacken until it is no longer mine.There's a knock at the bathroom door, and I grunt in annoyance.Can I have just one minute to myself? Sage and Alan have beenshadowing me the entire day, trailing
Chaos.Bones crack and sizzle all around me, those instincts to killunravelling at the scent of their enemy. Ravenous and overcomewith bloodlust, the wolves snap their jaws together with an ache intheir gums I now know only too well.My heart is an allegro rhythm that palpitates deep in the furrow ofmy chest. There's no time to wrap my head around this horrificnightmare, or exert myself in spending a single second immersedin the confusion. I can't think, I can't think, I can't think. If I do, Iwill die.I may die anyway.The world is filled with noise, a cacophony of growls and voicesmerged into one single buzz inside my mind. My father's eyes areilluminated with panic and a thousand questions I cannot answer,like how I have become an eight-foot long panther. It's unheard of,incomprehensible. It is impossible. I'm staring at my family, thepeople I've grown to love my entire life, but all I wa
My eyes open unwieldily, and for a single second I can pretendthat none of this has happened. I feel my heart release its tightclench inside my chest because in that space of time, I am home.In just a moment, I will break through the forestry and bewelcomed by my father, laugh with Sage as I tell him about themost absurd dream. The nightmare in which I became a panther.An enemy. Hunted.But then I see that scars of all those memories surrounding me.Imprints of history, actions, life. The rotten smell of death smacksme in the chest; a pungent, foul odour that has bile rising in mythroat. Bloody remnants of small animals surround my bare, nakedbody. Light shines through the cracks between overhangingbranches, and I know morning has risen.There's a terrible sensation crawling along my spine. That instinctwithin that tells me there are eyes watching me with a scrutinisingheaviness I cannot shake. One step, one crunch of dead lea
The body can prepare itself for many battles during its lifetime. It isa fighter's malleable tool which endures the fractures of bone, theblood of cuts and the blackened skin. It heals, and your bodyforgets. But the mind holds onto those scars, it does not let go andin truth, perhaps it can never be prepared for the ordeal of war.It is easy for your body to become strong, but the mind must breaktime and time again before it can truly know the strength it takesto fight for its life.As I'm dragged by my bare feet in nothing but damp, sulliedclothing, a throbbing head and a swollen jaw, I begin to questionmyself. My life is no longer one that can be lived precariously, andI may have dug my own grave by challenging Raegan, but Sagewas right. The Pantera may be savage brutes with little to nomorals, but they are opportunists. If I can prove that I am moreuse to them alive than dead, I could be spared.
The body can prepare itself for many battles during its lifetime. It isa fighter's malleable tool which endures the fractures of bone, theblood of cuts and the blackened skin. It heals, and your bodyforgets. But the mind holds onto those scars, it does not let go andin truth, perhaps it can never be prepared for the ordeal of war.It is easy for your body to become strong, but the mind must breaktime and time again before it can truly know the strength it takesto fight for its life.As I'm dragged by my bare feet in nothing but damp, sulliedclothing, a throbbing head and a swollen jaw, I begin to questionmyself. My life is no longer one that can be lived precariously, andI may have dug my own grave by challenging Raegan, but Sagewas right. The Pantera may be savage brutes with little to nomorals, but they are opportunists. If I can prove that I am moreuse to them alive than dead, I could be spared.
My eyes open unwieldily, and for a single second I can pretendthat none of this has happened. I feel my heart release its tightclench inside my chest because in that space of time, I am home.In just a moment, I will break through the forestry and bewelcomed by my father, laugh with Sage as I tell him about themost absurd dream. The nightmare in which I became a panther.An enemy. Hunted.But then I see that scars of all those memories surrounding me.Imprints of history, actions, life. The rotten smell of death smacksme in the chest; a pungent, foul odour that has bile rising in mythroat. Bloody remnants of small animals surround my bare, nakedbody. Light shines through the cracks between overhangingbranches, and I know morning has risen.There's a terrible sensation crawling along my spine. That instinctwithin that tells me there are eyes watching me with a scrutinisingheaviness I cannot shake. One step, one crunch of dead lea
Chaos.Bones crack and sizzle all around me, those instincts to killunravelling at the scent of their enemy. Ravenous and overcomewith bloodlust, the wolves snap their jaws together with an ache intheir gums I now know only too well.My heart is an allegro rhythm that palpitates deep in the furrow ofmy chest. There's no time to wrap my head around this horrificnightmare, or exert myself in spending a single second immersedin the confusion. I can't think, I can't think, I can't think. If I do, Iwill die.I may die anyway.The world is filled with noise, a cacophony of growls and voicesmerged into one single buzz inside my mind. My father's eyes areilluminated with panic and a thousand questions I cannot answer,like how I have become an eight-foot long panther. It's unheard of,incomprehensible. It is impossible. I'm staring at my family, thepeople I've grown to love my entire life, but all I wa
I see who I am.I'm looking in a reflection, staring back at a turbulent, obstinateheart. I know who it is that faces me, but that is not what matters.It is paramount in the minds of my world exactly what you are,because what ties the bond between blood and water is not loyaltynor the falsity of words, but the beast within our heart.Everything will change tonight; for the good, the bad, or the worst.I cup a pool of water in my palms, throwing whatever droplets thatdon't slip through my fingers against my face. I'm washing awaythe final remnants of present Kadence, because no matter theoutcome of tonight's endeavours, I will be leaving behind afragment of myself. When the full moon rises, it will rot andblacken until it is no longer mine.There's a knock at the bathroom door, and I grunt in annoyance.Can I have just one minute to myself? Sage and Alan have beenshadowing me the entire day, trailing
Even though it's a story that's been told to me a thousand times, Icannot deny the swell in my throat when I think of my mother. It'san unquenchable inferno of pain, and agony, and memories, that Iblock off with a fractured wall. No weakness. Strength, only."Fight me," I say aloud, eager for a reprieve from this torturouswait. Sage furrows his eyebrows in hesitance."Go on, fight me," I repeat when Sage doesn't move. My fingerslatch onto his jacket as I tug him from the ground forcefully. Sincehis own Change two months ago, Sage has been wary to spar withme. It takes time after the Change to know your own strength, andI see his fear in injuring me."We've been through this. I'm not a pane of fragile glass, ready toshatter when I do fall. Besides, now fighting you is finallysomewhat of a challenge," I tease. His lips curve into a reluctantsmile as I guide him to a larger patch of grass."Fine. As y