Nag-aalala akong nakatingin sa TV nang makita ko ang balita tungkol kay Takeru. I know that he's a well-known businessman and that there are a lot of people watching his every move. However, right now, ngayon ko lang na-realize kung gaano siya kakilala. That realization makes me feel like sh*t.Napakagat na lang ako ng ibabang labi ko at pinigilan ang pagtulo ng luha ko. Ever since I came back here, I couldn’t control my emotions. Dahil doon pakiramdam ko ay parang mali ang pagbabalik ko. I thought I could finally face him without blinking or getting hurt, but I guess that was just wishful thinking.Ah, Aoi, what are you doing to yourself? Why do you love tormenting yourself?I shook my head. No, hindi ito ang time para sa mga negative thoughts.Napabalik ako sa reyalidad nang marinig ko ang pag-ring ng cellphone ko. When I saw who was calling, I unhurriedly answered."Goddamn it, Aoi. Kanina pa ako tumatawag!"I guess I was right. Kahit kelan talaga itong si Kenji, hindi pa rin maali
I stared at Takeru’s number. I felt like I wanted to give him a call, or at least I wanted to know how he was. I don’t want to torment myself, but I also don’t want to talk to him.‘Why have you always loved hurting yourself, Aoi? Kung hinahayaan mo na lang sana, hindi ka na sana masasaktan.’But I can’t bring myself to let him go.I stared outside my apartment in a daze. My mind seems to be going to explode from the headache, and up until now, my heart has not felt at ease. Siguro dahil alam ko na may nangyari kay Takeru at hindi ko pa magawang makausap siya. Still, I don’t know how to approach him. After all, I don’t have any reason to do so.I want to know if he’s okay, but I don’t have the courage to do so.Why do I have to suffer like this? Why do I have to be in pain? All I did was let him go. I let him go. Hindi ko na siya pinghawakan, hindi ko na siya pinaglaban. Hinayaan ko na siyang gawin ang gusto niya, pero bakit? Bakit ako ang nasasaktan? Bakit sa kaniya parang wala lang?
Since I didn’t get any reply from him, I did my best to busy myself. Nilagay ko pa sa drawer ng table ko ang cellphone ko, and I turned it silent. Pakiramdam ko wala akong ibang gusto na gawin kundi ang magtrabaho. I sighed.Umaga pa lamang ay pakiramdam ko ubos na ang energy ko. I just saw him once, but I feel like it drained all my energy. I wanted to hug him to make me feel better since his pheromones make me feel safe and relaxed. But I always reminded myself that there was nothing between us anymore. That everything was only a memory. Should I give up already?Even though I wanted to, I couldn’t. Hindi ko alam sa sarili ko. Ilang beses ko na ba sinabihan ang sarili ko na dapat mahalin ko rin ang sarili ko kahit konti? Ilang beses ko na rin ba sinabi sa sarili ko na kailangan ko rin naman pagpahingahin ang sarili ko sa sakit? Marami na. maraming beses na. Sa sobrang dami na sa loob ng limang taon ay hindi ko na mabilang. “Mr. Takeshi?” Napalingon naman ako at nakita ko si Do
Napatitig naman ako kay Takeru when he opened the window and looked at me. My heart is beating so fast, and it's as if it’s going to jump out of my chest. I stood by the side of the road, looking at him in a daze. My heart is racing, and my emotions are battling.Memories of our past started to flood into my mind, both sweet and painful memories we shared together before we ended everything between us. The car in front of me is the very same car he always used when we were going out or when he was picking me up. It gives me a lot of fear knowing that every part of this car in front of me has memories.I bit my lip, a nervous habit I developed after we broke up when I was uncertain about something. I didn’t reply first. I looked around, searching for a taxi that would pass by, trying to distract myself from the internal struggle I was facing inside me.I really wanted to decline. I looked at him, and he looked like he was hurt and wanted to cry. Ako ba ang may kasalanan kung bakit ako
Para akong timang na hindi alam ang gagawin. Nagmadali akong umuwi ng apartment ko nang matapos akong bumili ng mga kailangan ko sa convenience store. Up until now, sobrang lakas pa rin ng kabog ng dibdib ko. Hindi ko alam kung anon a ang dapat kong gawin dahil ang utak ko ay na-stuck up sa moment na magkasama kami kanina ni Takeru.Shit! I don’t know if I could handle this kind of stimulation.I mean, what if this triggered my heat again? Kahit na amoy na amoy ko ang pheromones ni Takeru kanina, kahit na gustong gusto ko na maghubad sah arapan niya, pinigilan ko ang sarili ko. I know I let him hold my hand, but I don’t want to do anything beyond that. After all, even though he took the initiative to hold my hand earlier, it was still considered cheating.He already has a fiancé. So, I am hesitating about whether I should run away or let him do what he wants. I want to run away since I don’t want to be the reason for him to lose all the things he built up, but I also want him to do w
Napatitig na lamang ako sa kisame ng apartment ko. I know that something is meant to happen sooner or later. But what happened earlier really caught me off guard. I mean, why did he do that? Was he the same? Unable to move forward, I mean.But I don’t think so. I don’t think that was the case for him.I closed my eyes, and my lips twitched a little when I remembered something. Right, there are only five weeks left before that so-called gland removal. Was it because of that that he did that?Hindi naman talaga ako magpapatanggal ng gland. It was just a spur of the moment since my circle and I saw him with his fiancé at the wedding boutique, picking a wedding suit. Sino ba naman ang baliw na magpapahalata na naapektuhan ka ‘di ba? Mabuti na lang talaga at super supportive ng mga kaibigan ko.And about Rayle’s words: I pondered about it, and his words still echoed in my mind as if he were keeping on repeating them to me. I closed my eyes and thought about why I should reveal my identity
Napaunat ako ng kamay at napatingin sa pinto ng office na bigla na lamang bumukas. And there, I saw Takeru. I didn’t speak; I only observed him, and I was confused when he hurriedly went inside. Bakit ngayon? Bakit ngayon kung kelan naman ako na lamang ang natitira rito and everyone left already?However, what piqued my curiosity was Takeru's expression of those kinds of emotions. He looked worried, and at the same time, he looked mad. Hindi ko alam kung anon a naman ba ang nagawa ko at narito siya.Siyempre alam ko naman na ako ang pakay niya. Bakit ba naman siya narito kung alam naman niya na ako na lamang ang natitira rito? After all, after our conversation last night, I never talked to him again. Not even when it was about work. Hindi ko talaga siya kinakausap. I sent my own people to go and talk to him. Bakit ba, wala naman akong balak na makipag-usap sa kaniya.Hindi naman sa galit ako sa kaniya. I just felt… embarrassed.However, why is he here? I am indeed very grateful to our
I dragged myself to the bathroom so I could get ready already. If I don’t move now, for sure, mahihirapan pa ako na gumalaw mamaya. This is what I hated about myself. It was hard for me to open my eyes when I slept too late.I sighed.Anyway, since this is the day wherein I should go to the place where I don’t want to go, I forced myself. Ayoko naman talaga na pumunta roon dahil pakiramdam ko, parang nanalo na si Lanie, pero hindi ko rin naman siya bibigyan ng satisfaction na masira niya ako kay Takeru.After all, I know that Takeru knows me too well at alam ko rin na alam niya na gagawin ko ito.Well, I just hope so. Dahil kung alam niya, siguradong mabibigyan niya ako ng chance na mabuhay and if not, mawawala na lamang ako sa mundo ng walang kaalam alam ang ibang tao lalo na ang pamilya at kaibigan ko.‘Goodness, Aoi. Ano ba itong mundo na napasok mo? Kung sabihin mo na lang kaya ang totoo?’Napailing naman ako. "No, hindi pa ito ang tamang oras," bulong ko sa sarili ko.Everything
Ilang araw lang din ang nakalipas matapos na hatulan ng pagkabilanggo ang mgakakapatid na Orries, sumundo naman si Margaret. Hindi nagkamayaw ang buong bansa nang marinig nila ito ang nagpa-kidnap kay Aoi. Hindi lamang iyon, napag-alaman din ng lahat na hindi nito gusto si Aoi noong college pa lamang ito dahil ang akala niya ay wala itong background.Nalaman din ng lahat na siya rin ang dahilan kung bakit naghiwalay si Aoi at Takeru despite being mated and bonded. Mayroong lumabas na recorder at ang laman nito ay ang ginawang pananakot ni Margaret sa kaniyang anak na si Takeru na isa lamang college student noong mga panahong iyon.Mas lalo pang umani ng galit mula sa tao nang malaman nila na kasabwat nito ay ang magulang ni Shion Robert ang kaniyang dating fiancé. Dahil doon, pati na rin ang pamilya ni Shion ay nadamay sa gulo at nakatanggap ng galit.Sanay ang nanay ni Shion na pinag-uusapan siya ngunit sa hindi ganitong paraan. Nasa isa siyang party nang mapagtanto niya na ang kaniy
In Aoi’s family house, Aoi is sitting on the couch in their living room with his family. Mayroong kausap ang kaniyang ama at alam nilang lahat na iyon ay tungkol sa trial ng mga kapatid ni Takeru.Nakausap na ni Aoi si Takeru tungkol dito at dahil na rin sa nakakaramdam siya ng guilt, hindi niya maiwasan na sisihin niya ang sarili niya. Hindi nga lang akalain ni Aoi na wala na pala ang pakiramdam na ‘pamilya’ na gusto ni Takeru maramdaman sa totoo niyang pamilya.“At first, when I was young, talagang gusto ko na pansinin ako ng magulang ko. However, as I grow up, I find it funny and silly. Doon ko na-realize na ang pagmamahal ni lolo, sapat na. Mas lalo rin Nawala ang pagnanais ko na mapansin nila nang makilala kita. Kaya naman huwag kang mag-alala, hinding hindi ako nakakaramdam ng kahit na anong lungkot sa mga nangyayari sa kanila. Sa dinami dami ng kasalanan na ginawa nila, hindi lamang sa ‘yo, nararapat lamang sa kanila ito.”Nang sabihin iyon ni Takeru sa kaniya, nakahinga siya n
Nang magising si Aoi, siya lamang mag-isa sa kwarto niya. Hindi niya alam kung nasaan si Takeru o ang kaniyang magulang at tanging ang nag-aalaga at nagbabantay lamang sa kaniya ang naroon. Nakita rin niya na mayroong mga guwardiya sa labas ng pinto.Because of what happened to him, somehow, he felt traumatized. He doesn’t want them to know that he is awake, but he also wants them to know and let his parents and lover know about his situation. He wanted to call Takeru himself, but his phone couldn’t be found. Thus, he only sat at the edge of the bed, staring at nothing.‘What should I do? I don’t have my phone.'He pondered for a while before he sighed.‘Whatever. They are surely going to visit me. Let’s just wait.’He turned the TV on, and the news about Takeru’s siblings immediately flashed in front of him. This made him worried about Takeru’s mental health. No matter how much his family did to him, he knows that he still longed for them to notice him. Thus, this news made him shock
Nang makauwi si Margaret ay kaagad naman siyang nagtungo sa kaniyang kwarto upang maligo. Habang naliligo, hindi niya maiwasan ang hindi mapamura at isumpa ang babaeng nagtapon sa kaniya ng mabahong tubig.‘That bitch! Huwag lang siyang magpapakitang muli sa akin dahil sisiguraduhin ko na mahihirapan ang buhay niya!’ she said as she rubbed the soap in her body. ‘Fuck! The smell didn’t even reduce a bit! Anong klaseng tubig ba iyon at hindi man lang nababawasan ang baho sa akin! These peasants really piss me off!’After Margaret got rid of the smell, she immediately went to their bed. She was pissed off. She spent an hour in the bathroom just to get rid of the smell from that smelly water. No matter how much she rubbed the soap, it couldn’t get rid of itself as soon as possible. Thus, she spent an hour getting rid of the smell.Not long after she sat down on the bed, the door opened. She saw her husband, and he looked not so accommodating. Thus, she knows that he isn’t in a good mood.
The police arrived, and they immediately subdued Rage’s raging temper. He was half conscious, but his pheromones were still blazing and making people around him suffocate. If he is a dominant alpha, then everyone around him will be having a hard time. Lucky enough, he isn’t.The police investigated, and they saw a lot of evidence in the abandoned villa. The villa has no owner. However, it was used as a hideout or transaction place for some people doing shady and illegal things.Habang abala ang mga police sa kanilang pag-iimbestiga, si Rage naman ay nakaupo na sa isang espesiyal na police car kung saan iyon ang ginagamit kapag isang alpha ang kanilang inaaresto. Dahil sa nahuli sa akto si Rage sa crime scene, hindi siya maaring makawala.“Ilabas niyo ako rito! Isa akong Orries! Kung hindi ninyo ako ilalabas, makikita ninyo!”Napabuntong hininga na lamang ang isang pulis na nagbabantay sa kaniya. Hindi maiwasan ng pulis na iyon na hindi mapakunot ang kaniyang noo. Rage is too noisy. Si
Aoi winced as he struggled to get a hold of himself. When Rage left him in the room of darkness, all his senses were enhanced. After the beating, Aoi couldn’t help but frown as he felt all of the painful punches and kicks he took from Rage.Even though his body was painful, he still laid down on a cold floor to calm himself. Alam ni Aoi na hindi niya kaya si Rage kalabanin. Unang una, isa itong alpha. All omegas are far inferior to alphas. Kahit na marunong pang lumaban si Aoi ay hinding hindi pa rin niya magagawang matalo si Rage. Pangalawa, kung lalaban siya ay siguradong mas lalala lamang ang mga mangyayari.Bukod sa pagsipa at pagsuntok sa kaniya ni Rage, nagwala rin ito sa paligid. His eyes were full of calmness, but his heart was beating for fear of getting hit by the things he threw and destroyed. The silence in the abandoned place where he was made him calm down. At least he knows that in the place where he was, there was only him and no one else. At least for now, he felt saf
Nag-aalalang lumapit si Margaret sa kaniyang nakakatandang anak nang marinig niya ang balita tungkol sa pagkawala ni Aoi. It was all over the news. Everyone in the Parella family is doing their best to track him, and if it was her son’s doing, it would be over for his son’s life.The Parella family may be an omega, but their connections and power far exceed those of the alphas prominent in their own industries. There’s still a lot of alphas who seek marriage from the Parella family. It was because they raised their omegas not to be breeding tools, and their education is on par with the education of alphas at home.Margaret confronted her son, and her voice was filled with anger and concern. “Rage, do you have him?”Rage smirked. His eyes were filled with hate. “So what if I had him?” His brow is raising.Margaret's eyes widened. “Rage!” she screamed. “What on earth is happening to you? Hindi ka ba masaya na nakauwi ka na sa amin? Rage! Hindi mo ba alam na hindi lang ikaw ang mapapaham
As Aoi walked down a busy street, the pair of eyes that had been eyeing him disappeared. It was as if there weren't any eyes watching him at all. Noong una ay nag-aalala pa si Aoi ngunit ngayon, mas lalo pa siyang nag-aalala. Kung bigla na lamang itong nawawala ay isa lamang ang ibig nitong sabihin kay Aoi, may mangyayaring hindi maganda.For a person involved in underground society, the benefits of doubts aren't small. Thus, Aoi knew that even though he couldn’t feel it, there was still an eye watching him. He never erased the fact that there are still people out there who have a lot of malicious intent watching him. Kaya naman mas pinagpapatibay pa ni Aoi ang kaniyang seguridad.‘Hindi ko alam kung tam aba itong desisyon ko.’Hindi sinabi ni Aoi sa kaniyang pamilya na mayroon siyang nararamdaman dahil alam niya na mag-aalala ang mga ito. Ganoon pa man, hindi niya magawang ilihim ito kay Takeru. He wanted him to know about his situation so he wouldn't be blamed for it. Aoi knows his
Aoi didn’t leave the coffee shop when Haru left. He stayed there until it was late. The shop is open twenty-four hours a day. Thus, he doesn’t need to worry about the shop closing late because of him. He only stayed where he was and looked at his phone. He is waiting for Takeru’s call.For some reason, his lover didn’t call him, not even once. This made him feel the metallic taste in his mouth.‘So, you learn how to not call, huh.’Aoi calmed himself. He tried to justify what Takeru just did. Ever since they got together, Takeru hasn’t missed calling him. However, right now, to his surprise, he hasn’t called him all afternoon.‘Did something happen? ’Worries and anxiety started to surge in his heart. He doesn’t want something bad to happen to his lover, but knowing the things in his family, he couldn’t help but think that something bad really happened.‘No, Aoi, calm down. Hindi porque hindi ka niya tinawagan ay may nangyari nang hindi maganda.’Huminga nang malalim si Aoi at saka si