Chapter 4

"Hmm, this tastes better." I commented as I chewed the strawberry.

"What time will you go home?" He asked out of the blue.

"Why?" I asked back and turned to him, who was browsing my social media account. "Are you sick of my face?" I joked.

"Not that much," he curtly said, making me glare at him. Then he turned to me with his teasing smile.

"Okay. So that explains why you don't want me to leave your room." I scoffed and he looked away. I noticed his ears turned red. He was blushing! Ha! And I find it adorable.

"Seems like you're friendly, aren't you?" He diverted from the topic.

"It's good to be friendly. Just so you know." I stated and then rolled my eyes. I continued eating strawberries. I wondered where did they buy it because they really tasted good.

"Not all the time, just so you know." He mocked then turned to me with his piercing coffee eyes. "That explains why you fall too easy."

"What "fall too easy"?" I scrunched my brows and pouted, confused.

"You've been interracting with Gero?" He knotted his brows together.

"Nope." I plopped the 'p', emphasizing I disagreed with him.

"Then why are you chatting with him recently?"

I scorned and stood up to walk towards him. I saw a hint of confusion in his eyes but quickly disappeared as he recovered.

"He invited me to his pool party." I stated.

"Then?" He quickly replied back.

"I... rejected it. I'm busy. Besides, I would just get hurt if I'll be there knowingly he'll be with his girlfriend Saera." I frowned and shrugged.

He sighed in relief.

"That's good to know, baby. I don't want you to get hurt again for same reason. You can have your pool party here if you want to. We can invite Desirque if she's not busy with her life."

I sighed in pain. I suddenly remembered Desirque. Where was she right now? It had been what? Three to four years since she left me. I could not blame her though. She needed time and space for everything. How I wished I was there to cheer her up but I was such a worthless bestfriend.

"It's okay, Alpha." Whispered by Royal as he held my hand and gently tugged me down to his lap. "She'll be fine soon. If only I know her situation, I should have protected her."

I smiled bitterly. Tears pooled over my eyes. I missed my bestfriend so much. She was a good friend, a sister and a mother to me. She was always there whenever I needed her. But in times of her trouble, I wasn't there to make her feel like she was not alone in life.

Later that night, I had my dinner with Mocetti family. They all looked good together. How I wished I had a family like Royal had. But I knew it was too impossible to happen. I could not put things back like they were before. Everything had changed when Omega died.

"Klare told me she'll be back soon, Raphaela," Graciana, Royal's mother, informed in the middle of our meal. "But I don't know when is that."

"With Dad?" I asked.

"I guess so? But don't worry, you don't have to stay here because your parents will arrive soon."

I nodded as a response. I wanted to protest but for what? Whether my parents were around or not, nothing would change. I could still feel the emptiness and the gap between them.

After the dinner, I decided to lock myself in Royal's room. Royal, on the other hand, was talking to his girlfriend. I suddenly envied Ria for having Royal. What if I was her? What if Royal and I loved each other more than just a friend or best friend? Like, we did not see each other as brothers and sisters but as lovers? What would I do then? What would be the feeling of being loved by Rourke Yalenati Mocetti?

I was stargazing when I heard the door slid. I ignored it first because I enjoyed watching stars. Desirque loved watching stars because she said they reminded her about Matthias' eyes that shone like them. And about that thing, despite of having a tragic story, she was still lucky 'cause she found an unconditional love.

But what about me? When would I find someone who would love me better than I did to him? That someone would stay no matter what happened?

But then again, I was still young for this. I was too young and naïve. In fact, I was beguiled by Gero's moves. Tsk.

"Is it really your mannerism to get lost with your thoughts?"

I was brought back to my sanity when I heard Royal's voice. Slightly startled, I whirled around to face him. His coffee eyes welcomed me with a hint of intense feeling. Or maybe I was just too assuming that I ended up with that idea.

"Hi," I whispered with a smile.

He snapped his tongue and shook his head. I laughed because I found it funny.

"You can sleep in my bed if you want to. Guess you don't have any plan of going home." He commented.

I hummed as I scanned his whole body. He's wearing tight v neck shirt, revealing his collarbone, sweat shorts and a pair of slippers. He's simple yet, strikingly gorgeous with that perfect jaw with stubbles on it.

"I know what you're thinking, Alpha," he declared, sounded bragging. Then his lips curled into a smirk. "Gorgeous, am I not?" He wiggled his brows between a smile.

"You wish, fratello." I rolled my eyes playfully and he pouted in disappointment. I bursted into a laugh maybe because I was crazy. I was crazy because lately, I had been feeling weird things for him like sometimes, if heaven would allow me, I would kiss his goddamn lips.

He smirked with a low sound.

"Anyway, tomorrow's Monday. You should get going. You're not yet good with Janrez. I hope you haven't forgotten about it yet."

I looked away and faced my back at him. About that thing, I guessed it was my fault. I meant, I should have listened to her that I must move on from Gero. I could find a better man than him if I wanted to. Royal's much better than him, to be honest. And I believed someone could be better than him as well.

"Do you think... I should move on from Gero?" I asked out of the blue then I heard footsteps towards me.

"What do you think? What can you benefit from loving that dick?"

I chortled and faced him but he scrunched his brows at my reaction.

"Since when do you hate that man?" I asked, laughing.

"The moment you laid your eyes on him." He curtly said. My laugh ceased as I heard his answer. I became stolid at him.

I tilted my head at him.

"You are not joking, are you?" I clarified out.

"Do I look like?" He asked back in his stern voice.

I gulped once as he stepped forward. I stepped backward as I could feel my heart thumping inside my chest. The environment became course and I got no oxygen to breathe.

What was happening in this world?

"Let me ask you something..." he started, staring into my eyes. His eyes were screaming devotion and I could not help but to twitch my breathing.

"W-What is it?" I stammered. I bit my lower lip as I felt his soft hand against my skin. I did it harder as he moved his face closer to mine then moved sideward to whisper.

"Do you really see me as your older brother?" He asked huskily. It sent shivers down my spine, radiating like tidal waves.

"W-What k-kind of question is that?" I asked back, stammering.

I swallowed hard as I felt my knees wanting to collapse. I could hardly breathe because of my wild heart.

"Nothing." He curtly said and moved away from me. He faced his back at me and took a step forward. "Good night... Raphaela." He said in cold voice and walked out, not minding of what would be my reply.

I huffed and puffed as soon as he disappeared out of my sight. I grabbed the chance of taking a deep breath the moment the environment became light.

No, Raphaela. No. This was very bad. You could not fall in love with him. He could not fall in love with you because you two were siblings! You two were brother and sister. You two should keep it that way. Your parents trusted him so much. He could not defy them by loving you more than anything else. Besides, he had a girlfriend. Never let yourself to be the third party.

Late at night when I decided to go home because I could no longer bear his presence. I suddenly felt awkward every time I saw him. I had to build a wall between us. There should be a gap that would block me from coming closer to him.

The following morning, I woke up late because I slept late as well. I couldn't sleep knowing that Royal's last question was bothering me. Like, what the hell was that for? Of all the questions he wanted me to answer, it's about seeing him as a brother? Of course I saw him as a brother! And I assumed he saw me as his younger sister as well. He only saw me that way.

"Come on, Raphaela! It's just a party!" Jane blurted out, trying to convince me that it's just a simple pool party.

"Do you think I love pool party?" I asked in dismay and shook my head in disbelief.

We're inside our room. It's break time. My friends went outside to buy some foods for themselves. While me, I preferred to stay here then Jane came into me, inviting me for their pool party. And speaking of friends, Janrez and I were still not in a good term.

"What?! Don't tell me you don't know how to swim?"

I mocked at her. "You really think I don't know how to swim? For God's sake, Jane! I just... don't appreciate any pool party." I whispered my last line then looked away.

Tears pooled over my eyes. My heart was sinking. I remembered the tragic moment when I was eight years old. I invited my little sister to join with me while soaking ourselves in the pool. She was eager and I was too confident that she knew how to swim. I told her I would just get some foods to eat but when I came back, I found her floating, lifeless.

"Raphaela?" Jane called out, making me back to my sanity.

I wiped my cheeks using my bare hands. This was not the right time to look back.

"I-I'm fine." I said as I eyed her. I sniffed and smiled a bit, assuring her that I was okay.

"You sure? You look not." Her eyes were worried, so as her voice.

"Yeah. Where are we again?" I asked, shifting the topic.

She heaved a long sigh. "It's okay if you're not going with us. I mean... okay," she gulped once. "I quit arguing with you."

Before I could respond, my friends came into view with their rowdy gossips.

"Raphaela!" Called Angelika with her wide smile.

"Oh, Alpha! You won't believe with the news!" Via giggled.

My friends took the seats in front and beside me. They all looked happy, except Janrez who was cold. They brought some chips and softdrinks with them.

"What do you mean?" I asked, confused.

Trixie gave me her food. Absent-mindedly, I took it from her hand.

"Mr. Sandoval invited us for his pool party this Saturday!" Via shrieked, excited.

I shot my brows up, failed to process her words.

"It's Gero's idea to have a pool party, Raphaela," Jane butted in. I then turned to her, whose lips were curled into a smirk.

"What's with the pool party?" I asked in furrowed brows.

"It's just a bonding moment with us," Trixie replied. I eyed her and caught her red cheeks.

"Bonding moment?" I mouthed, puzzled.

"Are you coming with us or not?" Angelika gave me an odd look.

"I'm not going with you."

"Everyone is invited, Alpha," Via informed. "It means, we will be there."

"Except me." I objected. "I won't be there because I'm busy."

"No way, A." Angelika smirked. "You can't convince us with your nasty excuses. You'll be with us by hook or by crook."

"My parents won't allow me." I elucidated. "You know they won't allow me to join any activities out from our school."

It's true. The day when my little sister died, they changed their treatment towards me. They were blaming me for being an irresponsible sister. They were accusing me for killing her which would never happen because I loved Omega. She's my sister. We shared the same bloodline. Killing her never past by in my mind.

They pouted in dismay. Angelika and Via shook their heads off. As I turned to Janrez, I caught her looking at me but quickly looked away. I heaved a sigh, tired of everything. My life's a mess.