My child is dead

FAEDRA's  POV.

I turned slowly in bed, remained silent for a moment while my eyes darted around, and eased up my shoulders as memories of the previous events seeped in through my mind.

A smile formed on my face as I picked up a note left by Alanis by the lamp table. He was out getting things and would not return late. 

I yawned lazily, stretching to my full length before glancing about. My tummy growled, and I realized I had not eaten all through. Back at home, I spent all my time in panic, scared, and planning my escape to no end, but at least things were better.

Lazily, I walked across the halls down the stairs towards the kitchen, pulled out a bowl, and made myself cereal. To my surprise, a rattling sound rang in your ears, and you went silent immediately. 

I tilted my head slowly as a smile formed on my face. Was he back already? 

I pushed slowly further towards the door, but I turned stiff, atone closed, as chill ran down my spine. The rattling sound couldn't come from down the hall; it was from the second floor. Someone was home.

The clanking of the metal spoon I ate towards the floor sent hours of electricity down my spine as I realized people were in the house. Without second thought, I sprinted across the hallway, as fast as my legs could, heading for the door. I looked at the knob, but it had not unfastened; Alanis probably bolted it locked from outside.

. I pulled hard and threw my body against it. I screamed loudly as I felt a handful.

“Ahut, the hell up! And come with us!.” A man yelled, his voice hoarse. I recognised it as one of the men.

“Let me go!” I yelled even louder.

“Tell her to fucking shut up; she's going to get us in trouble!.” Another yelled as a blindfold was placed over my face.

“Somebody help!.” I yelled again.

“Bitch, shut up!.” Another yelled, and a shot was fired.

“oh shit! What the fuck have you done?.” Another screamed, the bag was lifted off my face, and just as I glanced down and caught sight of the blood dripping from my belly, did I realize... I had been shot.

“Fucking her up into the car!.” He yelled, and I fell with a loud thud as my body collided with a heavy impact against the floor.

“I'm not taking her along with me! She is doing it, man; I'm getting the fuck outta here!.” they yelled. My sight get blurry as I saw them, one after the other, as they all ran past me.

Warm  oozed from my belly; the pain was so intense, but my senses were way too jumbled up to make out anything.

“Alanis,” I muttered as it drizzled off, my eyes closing shut as I slipped out of consciousness completely.

***********

“Are you awake, mam?.” The voice called out to me and tried to open my eyes. I swallowed hard as I glanced around slowly. The lights were out, but I accommodated the lighting slowly.

“Alanis,” I muttered again. My voice sounded foreign as I parted my lips; it sounded more like a screech.

“Mam, please, you need rest. Is it advice that you don't say a thing about how to rest up in bed, okay? I'll get you the doctor.” She added in, as it registered to me that I had been admitted.

“No doctor, Alanis, g. Get me, Alanis." I added in hastily, saying that I had never spoken as slowly as I had done. With each word I said, I felt my king's corpse together and tugged at my gut.

My baby, 

“I'm here, Faedra. I'm sorry, I went out for a drink. I'm here now.” Alanis responded by wrapping his palms over mine. A smile formed on my lips as I glanced at him. He was around, and I felt safer.

“My baby Alanis, what happened to my baby... I don't feel it.” I panicked when I spoke; my hand slid towards my belly; it felt empty; it couldn't be as hard; and the bump seemed to be gone.

“You are fine, Faedra. You are alive. I'm sorry I left you alone. I went to get groceries. I didn't mean to let you get just. I'm sorry, Faedra. I had started you badly. What would I have done without you?.” He asked and leaned closer to me. His grip on my palms tightened, and he kissed slowly against my palms. A tear slid down from his left eye.

“Don't feel bad; I'm fine now, am I not? But the baby, how is it?.” I asked again, getting worried that he was stalling.

He pulled away from me. Lines of worry formed on his head as he started dormant. I saw pity and pain in his eyes. A gasp escaped my lips as I thought of the worst; I knew the truth about it already.

“I'm sorry, I should have done better.” Alanis added, I'm again.

“Don't say things like that. I'm fine, but, baby, I'm not feeling it. What's wrong?.” I asked, trying to keep calm and complete the task in the easiest way I could.

“You lost the baby, Faedra; it was only by a little that your life was saved.” He responded, but I swallowed. I stared at him blankly, at a loss for words.

“It's not possible... It was just a bullet. I'm alive, am I not? I don't like jokes in this manner, Alanis. Is my baby alive? Is it safe? Get me a ducking doctor!.” I yelled at the top of my lungs.

“You need to calm down, Faedra! You can't keep being this way, the baby; it's dead, gone, the bullet pierced through it, and I feel very terrible, but I can't let you harm yourself; you barely escaped death!.” Alanis yelled; he was worried.

But it dawned on me—the actual reality of it all—that my child, my baby, and I lost the pregnancy, and it was all my fault.