001 - Her

BLADE.

A euphoric groan escaped from my throat as my hold on the female’s hips in front of me tightened. I was lying on my back while she was sitting on top of me, straddling my front with her hands on my chest, sending explosive sparks all over my body and drowning me in pleasure I had not experienced in a very long time.

This was pure bliss.

A smug smirk tugged on my mouth before I squinted my eyes, trying to have a clearer view of her because I couldn’t see her face at all.

Her long, dark plum hair was cascading over her, shadowing her face. But I was sure I had never encountered her before, yet she felt familiar.

But not knowing who she was was the least of my worries. I was more concerned about what we were doing. I couldn’t remember the last time I had a female in my arms, especially like this.

I knew I shouldn’t have anyone, yet I didn’t want to end this.

“Fuck!” I growled as my hips bucked faster, hitting her hard as she bounced on top of me.

I let my hand move, my fingers skimming over her naked skin. Her soft whimpers filled my ears, and just when I was reaching my peak, an earth-shattering scream ripped in the thin air, making my body rigid and all the hair in my skin rise.

I knew this scream.

I’d heard it for the last five years, and even after hearing it over and over again, the pain that came along with the scream never faded.

The female in front of me vanished instantly, and I fell with a loud thud before my body rolled over. I found myself lying on my stomach on the wet, muddy forest ground. My eyes roamed in the dark until they found what they were looking for.

“No!” I growled so loudly that I felt the earth shake underneath me.

My hand extended as the scene unfolded in my eyes.

I watched in horror as my mate’s body was flung in the air and landed on the ground with a deafening thud.

“No! No! No!” My grip on the dry leaves and twigs tightened as I scampered to raise my body and sprang to where Soledad was, snapping the necks of the wolves along the way until I reached her.

But I was too late.

Blood oozed out from her mouth and from the hole in her chest, pooling around her body.

My knees weakened as my whole world crumbled right before my very eyes.

They broke her.

“No! No! No! Please no…” My pleading echoed inside the forest as I kneeled beside her, not knowing which part of her I should touch first. I just wanted the bleeding to stop.

“Please, make the bleeding stop…” I kept pleading, but I had no idea who I was praying to.

Our gazes locked, and despite the tears in our eyes, I could see how her emerald eyes began to lose color. I took her hand and placed it on my chest before I rested my forehead against hers. I tried to stop my tears, but they kept coming.

The sparks and her scent were around me, but they were weakening. She was slipping away.

“Please, don’t leave me…” I mumbled softly, trying to breathe in the air she was breathing out.  “Not yet, please…”

And then everything about her faded — the sparks, the scent, and the breathing. She was gone.

“No!” I roared, and my body jerked up, awakening me from another bad, torturous dream. 

My eyes rounded as sweat trickled down my forehead and every part of my body. I kept staring blankly at the vast, dark forest in front of me.

Another nightmare. But it felt like it was real — like it had been for the last five years. 

I let my agony wash over me at the memory of her, but there were no more tears. I had run out of them. 

Soledad. She died five years ago.

Five years, but it never got easier.

Five years of having recurring nightmares about her death — a blatant reminder that I did nothing to save her. 

I was an Alpha — one of the strongest in the north — and yet I was not able to protect my own mate. 

They wanted me, but they went for her. They knew killing her would ruin me. And it did — knowing I was the cause of her death and that I was not able to stop them.

It was a burden I would carry for the rest of my life. 

After her death, I left my territory and hunted the pack of rogues that caused her demise. But even with their hearts in my hands, I felt incomplete.

I wanted more.

So I didn’t stop. I let the anger and the beast in me take over my life. 

I spent the last five years in the wilderness, raking in money from bastards who wanted to find and kill anyone. It didn’t matter anymore what the reason was behind the request for the kill. I just wanted blood in my hands. 

The more I kill, the more I go numb. The more my heart became cold. 

I welcomed the darkness, waiting for the day when my life would be taken so I could finally be freed from the guilt inside me. 

But death never came. Instead, I had to live with this pain every day of my life. Alive, but worse than dead.

I closed my eyes and let the cold air fill my lungs. I dropped my body to the cold ground, spreading my arms wide as I stared at the moonless sky above me.

I was sure I would not be able to go back to sleep, so I better get going. 

Rage, my wolf, growled in my head because I shoved the memory of Soledad again at the back of my mind, which I have been doing a lot lately. 

I’d been controlling myself when it came to her. The only time I couldn’t was during my sleep, when her death would always come back to haunt me.

But after I awoke, I would let myself be reminded of her for a moment, and then I would get up and do the things I needed to do for the rest of the day as if she did not exist at all.

Until the night comes, and I will have nightmares again, repeating the cycle of how I lived my days, night after night, day after day.

I grabbed the small, battered satchel that held the little belongings I had before I cast a look at the carcass of the elk Rage devoured last night. 

I had no appetite to eat, but my wolf needed one. I usually let him out to hunt for his food, but last night, I had to channel my misery into something. So I went for the hunt, and the elk was my victim.

I knew Rage wanted to eat what was left of his food, but I didn’t want to stay at this place anymore.

“I will let you hunt again later,” I told him as I walked in the direction I was heading.

He growled at me, still annoyed that I disregarded our mate again and refused to let him eat. But, like always, I ignored my wolf. 

I took a deep breath and set my goal for the day. I’d been doing well at blocking off Sol’s memory in my head whenever I was awake, if I wanted to. It shouldn’t be a problem today. 

I should find the witch that Alpha Stone of the Mystic Pack asked me to find. The witch of the Red Mountain was the only known witch who was able to escape the underworld alive. 

Aside from the money that Stone gave me, I accepted this offer because I had an agenda of my own. I wanted the witch to help me reach Soledad. 

I wanted to speak to her one more time and ask forgiveness for being the reason she was dead and for not being able to save her. 

Maybe only then could I finally free myself from the guilt.

Or maybe the witch could bring her back from the afterlife. 

Or maybe she could take my life and take me where Soledad's soul was.

I just wanted everything to end. I was tired of life. I couldn’t find any happiness anymore. 

The only satisfaction I felt was the presence of blood in my hands. 

I shook my head at my own thoughts. I grunted and kept walking. A part of me was hoping the witch was powerful enough to do what I wanted.

Another ten kilometers before I reached the place where they had seen the witch. Ten kilometers and I would get my answer. 

My mind was already blank, and I was just letting my feet do all the work when another thought slipped into my head. 

There was another female at the beginning of my nightmare. It had never happened before.

Who is she?

I was sure she was not Soledad. My mate was slim and tall, while the female giving me pleasure was too small for my frame.

I couldn’t see her face, but I remember her long, straight hair being dark plum in color. She felt so real, and I would not deny that I enjoyed the spark and the pleasure she gave me, even if it was just a dream.

But no matter how hard I tried to rummage through the memories in my head — even memories before Sol came into my life — I was sure I had never met this female. Or I would have remembered her because there was something in here that piqued my interest, but I couldn’t pinpoint. 

My heart clenched in pain. This was wrong. I shouldn’t be disrespecting the memory of my mate by thinking of another one. 

I shook my head to remove her image from my mind as I continued walking, treading the deep forest, and making my way uphill up this mountain. 

The sun was already up when I finally heard another sound aside from the birds chirping and the twigs snapping as I stepped on them.

Running water. 

It had been days since I took a bath, and although the dirt and my smell never bothered me, I knew I needed a cold bath this morning. Because no matter how many times I kept shoving the thoughts of the purple-haired female away from my head, she kept coming back. 

Her moans kept filling my ears, and even if I didn’t want to, she was making my cock hard. 

I needed to cool down. I had never lusted after another woman in the last five years. This was a first for me, and I was convinced I was already on the border of being delusional and feral. 

The sound of a waterfall heightened, and I began walking faster, pulling off my shirt as I did, leaving me bare-chested.

It was already autumn, but the crisp, cold air of the north did nothing to hurt my skin. I was accustomed to it. Even when I was deep in the snow during the winter, the cold never bothered me. 

Rage began pancing and growling inside my head, but he was not communicating what was upsetting him. My wolf was uncontrollable at times, but he never kept his mind shut at me. He would always tell if I was being dick or lame, and it annoyed me that he couldn’t tell why he was agitated.

I kept snapping at him to communicate until the smell of the frosted forest and cinnamon swirled around me, and it began to calm my senses.

And it calmed my wolf, too. 

It wasn’t winter yet, so it was amusing that it smelled like this at this part of the mountain. I didn’t know I liked the scent of the forest during the winter, but at this moment, I reveled in it.

The body of water finally came into view. A waterfall.

It was small compared to others I had seen, but it was magnificent. I knew the water should be cold, but for some reason, the smoke from the lagoon looked warm. 

It might be that the water source was from a hot spring, but it shouldn’t be this warm when it flows here, given the chilly weather.

But regardless of whether it was warm or cold, I would still go for it. My body was aching for a swim.

I threw my satchel on the top of a big boulder, together with my shirt, before I pulled down my pants, leaving me fully naked. 

It was when I was already in front of the small lagoon below the waterfall that I realized the scent of frosted forest and cinnamon heightened and was more concentrated on where I stood. 

But before I could understand why it was making me salivate, a small form emerged from beneath the water and began screaming with a terrified expression on her face.

And for a moment, I thought I was seeing a nymph come to life.

Time stopped as our eyes locked, and I felt a bond snap within me. And slowly, all my senses came back to life as I stared at the female with the dark plum hair.

She was naked and looked like a fucking goddess in the middle of the water. And even if I didn’t see her face in my dream, I knew it was her.

Everything began to make sense — the agitation of my wolf, the intoxicating smell of frosted forest that I used to ignore, and my cock getting harder just by looking at her small face.

The Goddess gave me another mate. My second chance mate.

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AUTHOR'S NOTE: *Please be advised that Blade's wolf name has been changed from Buck/Hawk to RAGE. I am trying to find a wolf's name that I feel is suitable for him, and the first two I used didn't really grow on me, so I'm changing it to Rage. So please don’t be confused. It's the same wolf. I started editing his wolf's name in the first two books, so it will be the same across the whole saga. TY*