"It doesn't matter to me." I speak up, turning around to face him after Ingrid basically ditches me.
" Ah and she speaks." His lips twitch into a grin. "It's good to have you back, thought I'd lost you there for a second."He says, taking a step towards me.
"Don't you dare come any closer, stay away." I warn with my hand up, stepping back and making him stop.
He sighs. "How long will you keep running?"
Until you leave me the heck alone.
"You just couldn't stay away could you?" I say.
"And how could I?" He steps closer." After that night...." He trails off.
My eyes search his own for any kind of knowledge, and with the emotion flickering in them, I know it's true.
He was there.
How was he there?
" Were you there that night?" I softly ask, feeling desperate to know.
" Sweet" I heard the voice call me.
A look of confusion takes over his face. " What night - What are you talking about?"
Oh gosh, I was wrong, he doesn't know. He doesn't know and that's good. He doesn't have to know anything about that night.
" Hazel ?" He tries take another step towards me.
" Just leave me alone okay." I warn, walking past him.
"When will you stop running?"
I stop in my tracks just as Danny blocks my path." And when will you stop bothering my girlfriend?"
Oh no.
Danny pulls me close and I don't resist, glancing between the two guys. Danny stands tall and intimidating, eyes narrowed as they stare at Roman. Roman on the other hand looks calm and collected, face blank and unreadable with his hands tucked into his pockets.
"Who's the kid Hazel Grace?" Roman says, his eyes now focused on me.
I shoot him a look, but his expression doesn't change.
" Kid? - yeah...very funny." Danny laughs a single humourless laugh." Where did you learn that from, in Juvie?"
Why does everyone seem to know this apart from me?
We've now earned ourselves an audience, even after the bell rings, indicating the end of break, a few don't move.
" Danny- ."
"Oh wait, no, maybe your psychotic family did?.....Better yet your- ."
" Danny let's go!" I pull him away from there, just when I notice a change in Roman's demeanor.
Something far dark and brooding passing his eyes, though many may miss it because of his blank face.
Roman and I's relationship might be complicated, but I won't let Danny or anyone pass judgement on his family. You don't get to choose your family and background, so I won't be cruel to be part of that. Roman might be a lot of infuriating things but he doesn't deserve this.
" What the hell Danny?! " I whisper yell, the minute we are out of view.
" What?" He says.
"How could you do that back there?"
"What does it matter to you?" I don't know how many times I've heard this question and honestly, I'm fed up with hearing it.
"What you did was wrong and you, better then anyone else knows that." I say, giving him a look to remind him of his own family.
"I was simply sorting out a bother for my girlfriend. Besides, I was telling the truth and everyone knows it. They're just too scared to say it in his face."
I shake my head at him." I can't believe you." I say in disbelief, walking away from him.
I can't believe Danny sometimes, he can be someone I don't recognize when he acts this way, he had no business getting involved.
He might as well have signed himself up for his first enemy of the year, for I know how touchy the topic of family is for Roman. He doesn't take kindly to anyone messing with his family or people he cares about.
And I know this very well.
*****
I wait patiently after school, right by the fountain, waiting for any sign of Roman.
It had been eating at me for the rest of the day, I just wanted to talk to him, even though I promised myself that I wouldn't dare to. I don't know, but maybe I wanted to see how he was doing and that he wasn't still affected deeply, by what Danny had said.
I know from when we were young, on what he went through with his family, especially his mother. What he went through became the root cause of his problem with love. Though years may have passed , having not seen each other but today, I could still see it flicker in his eyes. The same emotions from when he was just a small boy.
We might not be in speaking terms but just this once, I want to know that he's alright. I know I might be sounding selfish, wanting him to say something to me whilst I dare not respond to him, I just can't help but want to see for myself if he is.
There must be something seriously wrong with me, but even so, I won't stop.
Student after student leave the premises and that's when I see them, his friends but not him. He's yet to make an appearance.
Just like before, it's the two guys and the one girl, who is surely hot by the way, the whole crew is.
I wonder if she could be his girlfriend. No, I can't simply assume.
But he neither denied nor confirmed, he just asked what it mattered to me.
Roman's business is his, so I should stay out of it. Speaking of him, where could he be?
I look around, feeling a bit impatient now, I've been waiting here for over 10 minutes and he's yet to make an appearance.
I wonder what could be keeping him for so long?
"Looking for someone?" I jump at the sound of a voice close to my ear.
"Don't sneak up on me like that." I say, giving Sam a look.
"You never answered my question." He says, totally ignoring me.
"No, I'm not looking for anyone, now what are you doing here - Can't you go bother someone else?" I wave him off.
" And miss out on watching the drama between you and Roman unfold, nah." He shakes his head, stretching out his legs in front of him.
I roll my eyes at that, looking ahead in expectation of finally spotting him.
" I thought you weren't in speaking terms."
" We aren't." I say, trying to discreetly look around.
"Then what do you call this?"
" What?" I finally look at him.
I sigh when he gestures to what I'm doing, clearly telling me that I'm busted, but I won't admit anything to him.
He might as well go and tell Roman. I mean the two spoke so casually with each other today, as if they had always been talking.
"You know with one look at him, it's enough to bring him over here." He says.
" I don't want him here, I just want to see if he's okay."
" I'm pretty sure we can all see him all the way from here, and question. Why wouldn't he be okay?"
"Uh, lets just say things might not have ended well between him and Danny." He frowns in confusion, forcing me to continue." First encounter today, let's just say, not so nice things were said."
" Let me guess, Danny?"
"Hey, what makes you think- "
"Sorry cuz, but your dear boyfriend can get quite vocal when he feels like it."
"Maybe this time he witnessed someone bother me." I try defend Danny.
"You mean Roman trying to talk to his childhood bestfriend?"
"Ex friend." I correct.
He holds up his hands in surrender." I don't know why you can't just listen to what he has to say."
" I don't want to listen to what he has to say, he doesn't deserve that much from me."
" What happened back then -"
" What happened in years passed was that I waited. I waited in hope for him, even when his back was clearly shown to me, I waited for him."
" Just like you're doing now?" My eyes widen a fraction at the realization, that he's right.
Sam's right, I'm doing what I'd always done years back.
" You're right!" I jump to my feet, gathering my things." I'm going back to the same pattern." I mumble.
" No, that's not what I meant."
" I've wasted enough time as it is, sitting here." I turn to face him.
"He's here." I freeze in place." He's just arrived." He tells me, but I don't dare look away from him.
Sam turns to me." Minutes have passed, it's better to finish what you started."
I bite at my bottom lip, contemplating if I should really go to him." There might never be a perfect time to catch him alone, it's better to get it over with, right?"
"Right." I trail off, blinking twice when I realize he's gesturing for me to get a move on.
I take a breath before turning around to face ahead, preparing to catch him alone just as Sam has seen him.
I retract my first step when there he is, standing leaned by a bad ass bike, with that girl I've seen them hang out with. I notice her lean close to him, leaving no space between them. He confirms everything for me when he casually hangs his arm around her shoulders, pulling her close.
So it's true, he does have a girlfriend.
Looking at them now, they do look like the perfect match.
He's busy, I won't bother him now.
" Hey, what are you still doing here? - Come on, go talk to him."
"It doesn't matter anymore. " I say, holding my stuff.
Sam too glances at the couple, before looking back at me. His face now has an unreadable expression.
" Haz-"
I don't even listen but go on my way, without another glance.
Two days have passed with neither Roman and I running into each other, more like I've been trying to avoid him, staying out of his way.Hard work indeed.After finding out about his girlfriend, I was given more reason to stay away, for us to not run into each other.It didn't feel right for me, to be following after Roman even if it's to check on him. I have no right to interfere in his life, to even bother him, though he's done just that.What would his girlfriend think if some strange girl followed after her boyfriend?......No. Avoiding him is the best option.And speaking of relationships, my own is still on the unclear, Danny and I haven't spoken much after his encounter with Roman, so talking to him was out of the question for now.So I spent most of my time in the school library, having the peace I so craved for, the first time I arrived here. Deep down I knew that I
I shouldn't be feeling like this, experiencing the feeling of regret because I've received what I wanted. I should sigh out in relief that he's not bothering me right?Today, he literally left me alone and didn't even glance my way the whole time, our paths would cross. He's kept his way and I should do the same, not over think things and not allow my mind, to be in deep thought about him.His friend's words had hurt to be honest, for someone to paint a picture of me as vindictive and someone who loves attention, not to mention selfish and all types of wrong. He made everyone sound like they are the victims and I'm the bad one here. His words should not matter to me yet they invade my thoughts every now and then.But he was right about Danny, I've been keeping him at arms length, even after so much time has passed. He's been trying to reach out to me, from some time now and honestly, what he did was really a mistake,
" I can't believe you brought me here." I say, looking around the bowling alley, whilst Sam and I wear our bowling shoes." Yeah and I can't believe you invited your boyfriend here." He says." He won't join us till later, besides, it's my way of proving that I really meant what I said. To go back to how things were between us.""You don't need to prove anything to anyone." He argues."Well this is also for me, a step to moving past something and trying to get back what I've placed on pause." I say, rising to my feet."Maybe you could also apply that on someone else."I break eye contact, not feeling up to talking about Roman. All I want to do is have a nice night, a relaxed evening and to laugh, to laugh with no reason."Let's play, shall we?" I say, walking on to start playing."Hey, hey." His hand on my elbow stops me. " I'm sorry, I sh
Two weeks had passed since that night. Roman hadn't tried talking to me or doing something stupid as scare me half to death, like when he snuck up on me. I would have been more relieved if it weren't for the burning urge to know where his head is at.I knew that he'd keep true to his word, that there would be a next time, I just didn't know when.I hated that form of surprise.Stolen glances my way had lessened, that being to the fact that he was preoccupied with his girlfriend, who I was yet to know her name. She was always around him, confirming what I'd already learnt.They actually looked good together, she was pretty with auburn long hair, brown eyes, light skin with freckles on her nose. She is the definition of gorgeous. The best part about her being that she never went over the top with whatever she had on, she could simply pull off jeans and a simple shirt.Roman and h
In years passed, I'd been separated from quite a number of people. One of them being my aunt Karen.Aunt Karen had more then a special place in our family, because of a big sacrifice she'd done for my parents. She's my mother's adoptive sister, the two shared a special bond, it surely played a role in the decision she had taken. It was a life changing decision that our family is still grateful for, she was my parent's surrogate.My mother had always struggled to have a baby and they had tried so many times, only resulting in disappointment and pain. My aunt Karen offered with such a sincere heart to carry the baby for her and now here I am.Through such an experience, a journey unique in our family, Aunt Karen and I were super close, but that never took away from the bond my mom and I had.Her passing had hit us all very hard, but never enough to hold us prisoner to grief, my dad being an example. He opene
' To all seniors....A start to your senior year should be with a bang. Therefore we would like to get to know each and every senior present in Everton Silver High Academy, on a more personal level. With a difference, this year's seniors are goaled to be remembered and what fun way to start on a memorable journey, then your first interaction with a fellow senior.Through deep conversation with our council and principal, it has been agreed that all seniors, coming next week will be given a name to be partnered or ' tied' with, for a whole of two weeks.Each pair will be tied together and have to do everything, apart from attending their classes and taking bathroom breaks. You can also break the tie once time to hea
Where are you?This is the 5th message I've sent to Danny yet he still hasn't responded. I've been waiting for him at a diner, it was chilly today.I reserved today for just the two of us, needing him to know that I'll never place our relationship last. I'm still committed.I wanted today to be about us, no disturbance, no interruption.I'd picked the diner I'd met him in, when I wanted us to fix things and get back to where we were. I don't know why he isn't picking up now, leaving me in question of his whereabouts. At least a response from him, even telling me that he's late, would put me at ease, but nothing.The waitress has passed by my table twice now and I'm afraid the next person to show up by my table is the manager, worse off, the owner.I let my eyes roam around me, watching activity happening and dwelling on mindless thinking, fingers
"I'm worried about you." Sam says on the way to study hall."Why?""The excitement and happy glow you had when you left is gone, you practically brushed your boyfriend off and you missed dinner. What's going on?"" I'm okay." He arches his brow as if he doesn't believe me. I sigh and speak up again. " I thought it was my day but I guess I was wrong." I tell him with a shrug."What happened?" He repeats once again." I don't want to talk about it." I mumble, walking ahead of him now." He didn't make it did he?" I stop in my tracks, before turning around to face him."H-how do you know that?" I ask, clearly surprised."Because I saw him practising with his buddies earlier.""'He forgot." I explain with a shrug.He sighs, pulling me by arm to the closest bench. He let's a few people pass by before speaking u
Months later....I can't believe we finally did it, we graduated. I am more then ready to change the scenery and head on to college, with Roman ofcourse. He totally surprised me when he told me about how he'd had everything covered, before I could even start stressing about it. He literally begged that I let him have his way and darn it, I found myself agreeing before I could think about it, when he suddenly pouted, giving me innocent eyes and all.He can be so sneaky when he wants to.I finally left the Academy in good terms with the place, no longer was there fear or anxiety. I walked away with a smile, being in steady ground with some people. They have been a part of my story, a journey in which would honestly take us having a sit down, in order for me to retell.The life I have lived has been full of twists and turns, ups and downs and though at times, I felt like giving up
My dearest Hazel...By now you are a young woman, full of dreams and your heart still searching, for more to recieve. I do hope that by the time you read this letter, every bit of desire I had for your life, has come to pass. I hope that you are happy and in love. I hope that you are finally at that point in your life, where you know that your decisions matter, your voice matters.I hope that finally you and Roman have realised that you two, are soulmates.Maybe it's my wishful thinking but I see something there, something that is rare. As young as you two are, I see it and you two ending up together makes total sense, if you know what I mean.I hope that in whatever life has thrown at you, in every way, you must know that you will breathrough each hurdle that comes your way. I want you to know that it's okay to trust people, it's okay
I can't get his words out of my head, no matter how much I try. What he said, has brought so many thoughts into mind and those words, could only mean one thing, whatever it is, is important. His body language and tone suggested it and I can't think otherwise.I know that he has given me free reign over his phone, like I have done so too, but I just couldn't find myself checking his phone as if I am snooping around. I mean I trust Roman so much, it's bloody impossible for me not to.I can't go and straight out ask him, because that would mean I was eavesdropping. I didn't mean to overhear his private conversation, I just happened to hear, that's all. There are so many things I don't want do, that may come out wrong in his eyes. " Urgh, this is so exhausting!" I groan out." What's exhausting?" My head snap up in the direction of his voice, where he stands at the doorway.Before I can an
A moan slips out of his lips as I plant kisses along his skin. My focus is sorely on his neck and under his jaw. " Baby, what are you doing?" He asks, his sleepy voice making him sound so hot right now." Morning." I murmur in his ear before continuing with my assualt right where his weak spot is." Hazel." He groans, placing his hands on my waist, squeezing it and causing me to jump slightly.I lean back to look down at him." Will you wake up now?" A smirk plays on his lips whilst still keeping his eyes closed." Roman, look at me already." I whine." But I'm still sleepy." He says, trying to fight off a grin." No you're not. I'm here and that's more then enough reason to want to wake up." " Nope." I gape in disbelief of his answer. Fine, if he wants to sleep, then I'll leave him alone, damn O'
" Hazel?" I snap out of the trance I was just in, turning to look at my dad.His eyes show concern, even his approach towards me is slow and careful. I watch him silently as he sits on the coffee table, infront of me.We stare at each other for a moment, before he sighs, taking my hand in his own." This is the second time you've been up like this, in the middle of the night. You need to sleep sweetheart."" He wont talk to me. " I say numbly." Hazel...."" Roman wont talk to me, he wont answer my calls. I'm selfish aren't I?"" Hazel don't do this." I pull my hand away, cutting him off." I should feel different after having made this decision, but I'm not. " I rise to my feet. " Being here has made me realise that it's no longer just about me anymore."I walk away and head up to my room, feeling exhausted but not enough
I'm sorry.They are the words that my grandparents couldn't help but repeat too many times. It's been years since I'd last seen them and I thought I would never see them again. Tensions and disagreements were the cause of us seperating. After my mother's passing, nothing was the same again. My grandparents never saw eye to eye with my father again, both parties mourned differently. My grandparents thought it would be best for them to leave with me and raise me, whilst my father had time to mourn yet my father disagreed. He refused to let me go.The tension was too much and it was not good for either one of us. They suddenly left and communication thinned, until it was no more. Though it saddened me to lose out on contact with them, I accepted that I would never see them again. Years passed but now they are back, they want to mend our relationship and right, their wrongs.
It truly hurt me to see my dad the way he was last night. The image is still stuck in my head. His words caused an ache to my heart. It hurts that my dad feels so hurt, the blame that he placed on his himself was not right.I don't want him to constantly blame himself, for what happened to me. It's not his fault. I want him to understand this. I have to set things right, I know I have to. Things cant go on like this, it's exhausting to go through this rollercoaster ride once again.It's like my family and I can't catch a break. We need a break from all this. It's my first morning being home, having woken up in my own bed and breathing homey air. It feels weird not waking up next to Roman or him, not being the first one I see. We are so used to being around each other, now only being a phone call away just feels different. Everything feels different but not too bad, though I miss him terribly but being
I could never catch a break.I thought I was done with hospitals already, now to find myself in here again, it tells a different story. I have woken up and Roman is the first person I see. His head is rested on my bed, his hand holding mine. I shift slightly and try pull my hand away but his grip tightens, refusing to let me go.I close my eyes and will myself not to cry. I am so exhausted emotionally and I feel like I can't deal with what happened to me and what, I had learnt not so long ago.I almost died again.I faced death but the difference is that I remember now. I thought I was done with the lies, I guess not. I knew that there would be people who did not like me, but for someone to hate me enough to kill me, that's a whole different level. I have had enough honestly and a part of me, wants me to quit on life but I know I can't. Roman, my dad, my family and friends wont allow me to.
You stole everything from me.What does that even mean?" How can I steal something from you, when I don't even know you?......You're Roman's friend, no, you aren't anymore. " I shake my head." When Roman finds out about this, he will never forgive you. Never." I say, turning my back to them.I can't believe she would do this to me, to Roman. She is Kyle's partner in crime and she's been pretending to be a good person." Don't you dare turn your back on me Hazel!" She shouts." I can do what ever I f*ckin' want!..... You can't tell me what to do and who do you think you are to order me around huh?!" I say, glaring at her over my shoulder." Oh you'll be eating those words very soon you lil' b***!"" I'm sure I wont. Not when I'll be out of here in no time. Roman is coming for me." I say in confidence of my words.I turn b