We've been sitting in silence, Sam and I. After he chased after me, he led me back to the hostel, but we remained outside, within the premises.
Sam Desai, the only person who was there for me after that night, who never did any wrong and recently, I've discovered, is my cousin. Sam and I had grown up around each other , neither one of us knowing much about our relation, he was always there. He was present during my birthdays or family gatherings and at first, I took it as him being my mom's Godson, never thinking much to it. Now that I've learnt that he's my cousin, gives me a sense of relief.
Atleast I have someone close with me here.
" Tonight must have been hard on you." I turn my head in his direction, my gaze forcing him to look at me." Seeing everyone and being reminded of what happened."
" I thought I would forget and put it behind me." I say, looking ahead.
" How could you, you almost died!" His voice rises up a notch.
" I panicked." I correct, looking at him again.
" So now you are making excuses for them and reasoning how you felt for panicking, okay sure." He nods while he wears a look of disbelief.
I sigh, my eyes dropping to my lap.
" He kissed another girl." I flinch at his words.
" It was a masked party, he thought it was me, he made a mistake." I respond, my voice having gone soft.
"Did they also make a mistake when they watched you drown?"
" I should go now. " I say, rising to my feet and he follows suit.
" You can't run away from this forever, just like Roman. He's here now and it won't be long until he tries speaking to you again, you know how he is."
If only you knew that he's already tried.
"No, I don't know him anymore and I don't wish to do so." I say.
"You say this now, but you'll be singing a different tune when he starts pestering you."
"You're telling me as if there's something you know that I don't." He looks away.
" Maybe talking to him- ."
" Goodnight Sam." I say, walking off.
"He won't leave you be!" He calls after me.
"Bye Sam!" I say, not even stopping.
" He's Roman O'Connor, Do you think he'll give up that easily?!"
That's what I'm afraid of.
*******
It's a brand new day, the sun is up, the sky is blue and birds are chirping while I'm anything but chirpy, I've actually been dreading today that I didn't eat much at breakfast, but wasted more time getting ready for school.
It's now a short gathering of all seniors in the auditorium, after the first assembly of the year. I literally blocked out everything that was said, after we were told of our responsibilities as seniors, where we needed to lead by example and so forth.
We knew everything required of us, we had papers sent with us home on the senior year at Everton. I don't know why they retold us this seriously.
I was distracted with my own thoughts, that I jumped a bit when the doors suddenly opened, ceasing all talking.
We all glanced behind us to see none other then Roman and his gang, making an appearance in their own precious time. He had his shirt not tucked in, jeans instead of school pants, hair unkept but still maintaining a good look, blazer looking different in design and bag slung casually on his shoulder. It's the first day and already he's looking for trouble.
But damn he looks good, so he might charm his way out of trouble at the office, if he's lucky. Oh who am I kidding, he knows how to get himself out of trouble, or so I thought. I knew him then, but not now.
" Mr O'Connor and friends, care to explain about your late attendance!" Annoying Mrs Pru questions, glasses placed low on her nose.
"Traffic." His friend from that night says, just as they shuffle to the back, a few seats behind us.
I quickly turn back around to the front, rolling my eyes in the process.
" Tell me it's going to be over soon." Sam says lowly with a sigh, leaning his head back.
" Well I'd be lying if I said yes." I shrug, watching the projector display a couple of activities and events, this year has to offer for us.
"Just say yes, I'll believe you." He pleads, laying his head on my shoulder.
"Okay then, yes." His head picks up and he turns to face me.
" Good, let's ditch."
"You're crazy to think dear ol' Pru wont see anything. If you must know, she's got eyes everywhere."
"Not as crazy as your friend, who hasn't kept his eyes where they should be."
Right then I feel it, a strong gaze at the back of my head, forcing me to sneak up a look at him. I find him already looking at me, not daring to look elsewhere, even when his friend is busy telling him something. I'm looking back at him, this time I'm not shying away.
His friend stops mid-sentence, following his gaze and I quickly turn back around to look forward.
Dammit, why did I even let my gaze linger, now he might take this as some kind of sign that I'm giving him.
"You know, you should have taken a picture, it lasts longer." Sam says.
" Shut up!" I hiss, folding my arms.
I see him smirking with the corner of my eye, I roll my eyes at that.
" You're lucky you're my cousin." I mumble.
" Or what?" He asks, his tone teasing.
I tilt my head in his direction." Or else I would have punched the heck out of you and maybe strangle you, oh and then I'd bury you alive. "
"Ooh so violent." I blink when I realize that Sam isn't the one who said that.
I turn to see who, only to freeze in my seat when my eyes connect with hazel ones up close. My heart stops.
Our faces are too close to each other.
Shoot, Roman's here, sitting right behind me.
" Sweet- ," that seems to break the staring match as I blink twice, quickly turning back around and looking ahead.
Why is he here?
" I was wondering when you'd come here." Sam says, making me frown.
"Oh I was just waiting up for her to call me." Roman says.
I quickly glance his way to tell him off, only to bite back my tongue. Oh I'm not going to cave.
He arches his brow at me.
The bell rings and we are told to get to our classes. Thank God.
I shake my head, rising to my feet and getting out of there, without another word.
Damn you O'Connor.
******
I've sighed in pure relief at never having to encounter Roman for the rest of the day, only earning his never wavering glances. Him not being the only one, it puts me on edge really, never making my first day easier.
All I really long for is for the day to end, to get back to bed and bury myself in between my covers, trying to make sense of things and see a way forward.
I sigh, leaning my head back against the tree, eyes shutting the world out.
At the brink of tuning all activity around me shut, I feel someone standing close, more like hovering over me, making me sigh internally.
Who could it be this time?
"Hazel?" I open my eyes to look up at Ingrid.
"And what could I have done to be graced by your presence dear queen?"
"Very funny. Look, I saw something last night."
"Two rumours already, you're on a roll here." She gives me a look.
"He tried to speak to you, didn't he?"
" I thought you had more sizzling news to share, I didn't know yet once again, I'm the topic." I say, placing my hand against my chest dramatically.
" Why are you being like this?"
"How else should I be ex friend, that's what you are, aren't you?" I sigh, rising to my feet.
She averts her eyes elsewhere, whilst I walk past her.
"So it's that easy huh?" I stop in my tracks, glancing at her.
"You're just going to let him back in your life?"
"What does any of this matter to you? " I frown at her.
"We might not be friends anymore, but I'm not so cruel to watch on standby, as you make a mistake."
I stare at her for a while before bursting out in laughter.
" What's so funny?" She scrunches up her nose.
"This whole conversation, mostly you coming up to me in pretense concern, when you just want the latest gossip, to share between your girls."
"That's not what this is." She shakes her head.
"Then what is it?"
She keeps silent.
"You also don't know yet you're here to figure it out. Look, we were fine with the way things were, stay on your end and I'll stay on mine." I say, starting to walk off, only for me to be held back by a hand on my wrist.
" Hazel wait."
"What?" I huff, looking at her.
She let's go of my wrist, looking around around, as if making sure that the coast is clear before she speaks up again.
" I didn't want to say anything but it's best you should know." I quirk my brow in question." His girlfriend told me that he came here for something, and was going to use you for it. So just becareful - "
Roman has a girlfriend?
"He has a girlfriend?" I question, cutting her off.
She opens her mouth to speak but then a new voice beats her to it.
" Why would that matter to you?" My body tenses at hearing that.
"It doesn't matter to me." I speak up, turning around to face him after Ingrid basically ditches me." Ah and she speaks." His lips twitch into a grin. "It's good to have you back, thought I'd lost you there for a second."He says, taking a step towards me."Don't you dare come any closer, stay away." I warn with my hand up, stepping back and making him stop.He sighs. "How long will you keep running?"Until you leave me the heck alone."You just couldn't stay away could you?" I say."And how could I?" He steps closer." After that night...." He trails off.My eyes search his own for any kind of knowledge, and with the emotion flickering in them, I know it's true.He was there.How was he there?" Were you there that night?" I softly ask, feeling desperate to know." Sw
Two days have passed with neither Roman and I running into each other, more like I've been trying to avoid him, staying out of his way.Hard work indeed.After finding out about his girlfriend, I was given more reason to stay away, for us to not run into each other.It didn't feel right for me, to be following after Roman even if it's to check on him. I have no right to interfere in his life, to even bother him, though he's done just that.What would his girlfriend think if some strange girl followed after her boyfriend?......No. Avoiding him is the best option.And speaking of relationships, my own is still on the unclear, Danny and I haven't spoken much after his encounter with Roman, so talking to him was out of the question for now.So I spent most of my time in the school library, having the peace I so craved for, the first time I arrived here. Deep down I knew that I
I shouldn't be feeling like this, experiencing the feeling of regret because I've received what I wanted. I should sigh out in relief that he's not bothering me right?Today, he literally left me alone and didn't even glance my way the whole time, our paths would cross. He's kept his way and I should do the same, not over think things and not allow my mind, to be in deep thought about him.His friend's words had hurt to be honest, for someone to paint a picture of me as vindictive and someone who loves attention, not to mention selfish and all types of wrong. He made everyone sound like they are the victims and I'm the bad one here. His words should not matter to me yet they invade my thoughts every now and then.But he was right about Danny, I've been keeping him at arms length, even after so much time has passed. He's been trying to reach out to me, from some time now and honestly, what he did was really a mistake,
" I can't believe you brought me here." I say, looking around the bowling alley, whilst Sam and I wear our bowling shoes." Yeah and I can't believe you invited your boyfriend here." He says." He won't join us till later, besides, it's my way of proving that I really meant what I said. To go back to how things were between us.""You don't need to prove anything to anyone." He argues."Well this is also for me, a step to moving past something and trying to get back what I've placed on pause." I say, rising to my feet."Maybe you could also apply that on someone else."I break eye contact, not feeling up to talking about Roman. All I want to do is have a nice night, a relaxed evening and to laugh, to laugh with no reason."Let's play, shall we?" I say, walking on to start playing."Hey, hey." His hand on my elbow stops me. " I'm sorry, I sh
Two weeks had passed since that night. Roman hadn't tried talking to me or doing something stupid as scare me half to death, like when he snuck up on me. I would have been more relieved if it weren't for the burning urge to know where his head is at.I knew that he'd keep true to his word, that there would be a next time, I just didn't know when.I hated that form of surprise.Stolen glances my way had lessened, that being to the fact that he was preoccupied with his girlfriend, who I was yet to know her name. She was always around him, confirming what I'd already learnt.They actually looked good together, she was pretty with auburn long hair, brown eyes, light skin with freckles on her nose. She is the definition of gorgeous. The best part about her being that she never went over the top with whatever she had on, she could simply pull off jeans and a simple shirt.Roman and h
In years passed, I'd been separated from quite a number of people. One of them being my aunt Karen.Aunt Karen had more then a special place in our family, because of a big sacrifice she'd done for my parents. She's my mother's adoptive sister, the two shared a special bond, it surely played a role in the decision she had taken. It was a life changing decision that our family is still grateful for, she was my parent's surrogate.My mother had always struggled to have a baby and they had tried so many times, only resulting in disappointment and pain. My aunt Karen offered with such a sincere heart to carry the baby for her and now here I am.Through such an experience, a journey unique in our family, Aunt Karen and I were super close, but that never took away from the bond my mom and I had.Her passing had hit us all very hard, but never enough to hold us prisoner to grief, my dad being an example. He opene
' To all seniors....A start to your senior year should be with a bang. Therefore we would like to get to know each and every senior present in Everton Silver High Academy, on a more personal level. With a difference, this year's seniors are goaled to be remembered and what fun way to start on a memorable journey, then your first interaction with a fellow senior.Through deep conversation with our council and principal, it has been agreed that all seniors, coming next week will be given a name to be partnered or ' tied' with, for a whole of two weeks.Each pair will be tied together and have to do everything, apart from attending their classes and taking bathroom breaks. You can also break the tie once time to hea
Where are you?This is the 5th message I've sent to Danny yet he still hasn't responded. I've been waiting for him at a diner, it was chilly today.I reserved today for just the two of us, needing him to know that I'll never place our relationship last. I'm still committed.I wanted today to be about us, no disturbance, no interruption.I'd picked the diner I'd met him in, when I wanted us to fix things and get back to where we were. I don't know why he isn't picking up now, leaving me in question of his whereabouts. At least a response from him, even telling me that he's late, would put me at ease, but nothing.The waitress has passed by my table twice now and I'm afraid the next person to show up by my table is the manager, worse off, the owner.I let my eyes roam around me, watching activity happening and dwelling on mindless thinking, fingers
Months later....I can't believe we finally did it, we graduated. I am more then ready to change the scenery and head on to college, with Roman ofcourse. He totally surprised me when he told me about how he'd had everything covered, before I could even start stressing about it. He literally begged that I let him have his way and darn it, I found myself agreeing before I could think about it, when he suddenly pouted, giving me innocent eyes and all.He can be so sneaky when he wants to.I finally left the Academy in good terms with the place, no longer was there fear or anxiety. I walked away with a smile, being in steady ground with some people. They have been a part of my story, a journey in which would honestly take us having a sit down, in order for me to retell.The life I have lived has been full of twists and turns, ups and downs and though at times, I felt like giving up
My dearest Hazel...By now you are a young woman, full of dreams and your heart still searching, for more to recieve. I do hope that by the time you read this letter, every bit of desire I had for your life, has come to pass. I hope that you are happy and in love. I hope that you are finally at that point in your life, where you know that your decisions matter, your voice matters.I hope that finally you and Roman have realised that you two, are soulmates.Maybe it's my wishful thinking but I see something there, something that is rare. As young as you two are, I see it and you two ending up together makes total sense, if you know what I mean.I hope that in whatever life has thrown at you, in every way, you must know that you will breathrough each hurdle that comes your way. I want you to know that it's okay to trust people, it's okay
I can't get his words out of my head, no matter how much I try. What he said, has brought so many thoughts into mind and those words, could only mean one thing, whatever it is, is important. His body language and tone suggested it and I can't think otherwise.I know that he has given me free reign over his phone, like I have done so too, but I just couldn't find myself checking his phone as if I am snooping around. I mean I trust Roman so much, it's bloody impossible for me not to.I can't go and straight out ask him, because that would mean I was eavesdropping. I didn't mean to overhear his private conversation, I just happened to hear, that's all. There are so many things I don't want do, that may come out wrong in his eyes. " Urgh, this is so exhausting!" I groan out." What's exhausting?" My head snap up in the direction of his voice, where he stands at the doorway.Before I can an
A moan slips out of his lips as I plant kisses along his skin. My focus is sorely on his neck and under his jaw. " Baby, what are you doing?" He asks, his sleepy voice making him sound so hot right now." Morning." I murmur in his ear before continuing with my assualt right where his weak spot is." Hazel." He groans, placing his hands on my waist, squeezing it and causing me to jump slightly.I lean back to look down at him." Will you wake up now?" A smirk plays on his lips whilst still keeping his eyes closed." Roman, look at me already." I whine." But I'm still sleepy." He says, trying to fight off a grin." No you're not. I'm here and that's more then enough reason to want to wake up." " Nope." I gape in disbelief of his answer. Fine, if he wants to sleep, then I'll leave him alone, damn O'
" Hazel?" I snap out of the trance I was just in, turning to look at my dad.His eyes show concern, even his approach towards me is slow and careful. I watch him silently as he sits on the coffee table, infront of me.We stare at each other for a moment, before he sighs, taking my hand in his own." This is the second time you've been up like this, in the middle of the night. You need to sleep sweetheart."" He wont talk to me. " I say numbly." Hazel...."" Roman wont talk to me, he wont answer my calls. I'm selfish aren't I?"" Hazel don't do this." I pull my hand away, cutting him off." I should feel different after having made this decision, but I'm not. " I rise to my feet. " Being here has made me realise that it's no longer just about me anymore."I walk away and head up to my room, feeling exhausted but not enough
I'm sorry.They are the words that my grandparents couldn't help but repeat too many times. It's been years since I'd last seen them and I thought I would never see them again. Tensions and disagreements were the cause of us seperating. After my mother's passing, nothing was the same again. My grandparents never saw eye to eye with my father again, both parties mourned differently. My grandparents thought it would be best for them to leave with me and raise me, whilst my father had time to mourn yet my father disagreed. He refused to let me go.The tension was too much and it was not good for either one of us. They suddenly left and communication thinned, until it was no more. Though it saddened me to lose out on contact with them, I accepted that I would never see them again. Years passed but now they are back, they want to mend our relationship and right, their wrongs.
It truly hurt me to see my dad the way he was last night. The image is still stuck in my head. His words caused an ache to my heart. It hurts that my dad feels so hurt, the blame that he placed on his himself was not right.I don't want him to constantly blame himself, for what happened to me. It's not his fault. I want him to understand this. I have to set things right, I know I have to. Things cant go on like this, it's exhausting to go through this rollercoaster ride once again.It's like my family and I can't catch a break. We need a break from all this. It's my first morning being home, having woken up in my own bed and breathing homey air. It feels weird not waking up next to Roman or him, not being the first one I see. We are so used to being around each other, now only being a phone call away just feels different. Everything feels different but not too bad, though I miss him terribly but being
I could never catch a break.I thought I was done with hospitals already, now to find myself in here again, it tells a different story. I have woken up and Roman is the first person I see. His head is rested on my bed, his hand holding mine. I shift slightly and try pull my hand away but his grip tightens, refusing to let me go.I close my eyes and will myself not to cry. I am so exhausted emotionally and I feel like I can't deal with what happened to me and what, I had learnt not so long ago.I almost died again.I faced death but the difference is that I remember now. I thought I was done with the lies, I guess not. I knew that there would be people who did not like me, but for someone to hate me enough to kill me, that's a whole different level. I have had enough honestly and a part of me, wants me to quit on life but I know I can't. Roman, my dad, my family and friends wont allow me to.
You stole everything from me.What does that even mean?" How can I steal something from you, when I don't even know you?......You're Roman's friend, no, you aren't anymore. " I shake my head." When Roman finds out about this, he will never forgive you. Never." I say, turning my back to them.I can't believe she would do this to me, to Roman. She is Kyle's partner in crime and she's been pretending to be a good person." Don't you dare turn your back on me Hazel!" She shouts." I can do what ever I f*ckin' want!..... You can't tell me what to do and who do you think you are to order me around huh?!" I say, glaring at her over my shoulder." Oh you'll be eating those words very soon you lil' b***!"" I'm sure I wont. Not when I'll be out of here in no time. Roman is coming for me." I say in confidence of my words.I turn b