We've been sitting in silence, Sam and I. After he chased after me, he led me back to the hostel, but we remained outside, within the premises.
Sam Desai, the only person who was there for me after that night, who never did any wrong and recently, I've discovered, is my cousin. Sam and I had grown up around each other , neither one of us knowing much about our relation, he was always there. He was present during my birthdays or family gatherings and at first, I took it as him being my mom's Godson, never thinking much to it. Now that I've learnt that he's my cousin, gives me a sense of relief.
Atleast I have someone close with me here.
" Tonight must have been hard on you." I turn my head in his direction, my gaze forcing him to look at me." Seeing everyone and being reminded of what happened."
" I thought I would forget and put it behind me." I say, looking ahead.
" How could you, you almost died!" His voice rises up a notch.
" I panicked." I correct, looking at him again.
" So now you are making excuses for them and reasoning how you felt for panicking, okay sure." He nods while he wears a look of disbelief.
I sigh, my eyes dropping to my lap.
" He kissed another girl." I flinch at his words.
" It was a masked party, he thought it was me, he made a mistake." I respond, my voice having gone soft.
"Did they also make a mistake when they watched you drown?"
" I should go now. " I say, rising to my feet and he follows suit.
" You can't run away from this forever, just like Roman. He's here now and it won't be long until he tries speaking to you again, you know how he is."
If only you knew that he's already tried.
"No, I don't know him anymore and I don't wish to do so." I say.
"You say this now, but you'll be singing a different tune when he starts pestering you."
"You're telling me as if there's something you know that I don't." He looks away.
" Maybe talking to him- ."
" Goodnight Sam." I say, walking off.
"He won't leave you be!" He calls after me.
"Bye Sam!" I say, not even stopping.
" He's Roman O'Connor, Do you think he'll give up that easily?!"
That's what I'm afraid of.
*******
It's a brand new day, the sun is up, the sky is blue and birds are chirping while I'm anything but chirpy, I've actually been dreading today that I didn't eat much at breakfast, but wasted more time getting ready for school.
It's now a short gathering of all seniors in the auditorium, after the first assembly of the year. I literally blocked out everything that was said, after we were told of our responsibilities as seniors, where we needed to lead by example and so forth.
We knew everything required of us, we had papers sent with us home on the senior year at Everton. I don't know why they retold us this seriously.
I was distracted with my own thoughts, that I jumped a bit when the doors suddenly opened, ceasing all talking.
We all glanced behind us to see none other then Roman and his gang, making an appearance in their own precious time. He had his shirt not tucked in, jeans instead of school pants, hair unkept but still maintaining a good look, blazer looking different in design and bag slung casually on his shoulder. It's the first day and already he's looking for trouble.
But damn he looks good, so he might charm his way out of trouble at the office, if he's lucky. Oh who am I kidding, he knows how to get himself out of trouble, or so I thought. I knew him then, but not now.
" Mr O'Connor and friends, care to explain about your late attendance!" Annoying Mrs Pru questions, glasses placed low on her nose.
"Traffic." His friend from that night says, just as they shuffle to the back, a few seats behind us.
I quickly turn back around to the front, rolling my eyes in the process.
" Tell me it's going to be over soon." Sam says lowly with a sigh, leaning his head back.
" Well I'd be lying if I said yes." I shrug, watching the projector display a couple of activities and events, this year has to offer for us.
"Just say yes, I'll believe you." He pleads, laying his head on my shoulder.
"Okay then, yes." His head picks up and he turns to face me.
" Good, let's ditch."
"You're crazy to think dear ol' Pru wont see anything. If you must know, she's got eyes everywhere."
"Not as crazy as your friend, who hasn't kept his eyes where they should be."
Right then I feel it, a strong gaze at the back of my head, forcing me to sneak up a look at him. I find him already looking at me, not daring to look elsewhere, even when his friend is busy telling him something. I'm looking back at him, this time I'm not shying away.
His friend stops mid-sentence, following his gaze and I quickly turn back around to look forward.
Dammit, why did I even let my gaze linger, now he might take this as some kind of sign that I'm giving him.
"You know, you should have taken a picture, it lasts longer." Sam says.
" Shut up!" I hiss, folding my arms.
I see him smirking with the corner of my eye, I roll my eyes at that.
" You're lucky you're my cousin." I mumble.
" Or what?" He asks, his tone teasing.
I tilt my head in his direction." Or else I would have punched the heck out of you and maybe strangle you, oh and then I'd bury you alive. "
"Ooh so violent." I blink when I realize that Sam isn't the one who said that.
I turn to see who, only to freeze in my seat when my eyes connect with hazel ones up close. My heart stops.
Our faces are too close to each other.
Shoot, Roman's here, sitting right behind me.
" Sweet- ," that seems to break the staring match as I blink twice, quickly turning back around and looking ahead.
Why is he here?
" I was wondering when you'd come here." Sam says, making me frown.
"Oh I was just waiting up for her to call me." Roman says.
I quickly glance his way to tell him off, only to bite back my tongue. Oh I'm not going to cave.
He arches his brow at me.
The bell rings and we are told to get to our classes. Thank God.
I shake my head, rising to my feet and getting out of there, without another word.
Damn you O'Connor.
******
I've sighed in pure relief at never having to encounter Roman for the rest of the day, only earning his never wavering glances. Him not being the only one, it puts me on edge really, never making my first day easier.
All I really long for is for the day to end, to get back to bed and bury myself in between my covers, trying to make sense of things and see a way forward.
I sigh, leaning my head back against the tree, eyes shutting the world out.
At the brink of tuning all activity around me shut, I feel someone standing close, more like hovering over me, making me sigh internally.
Who could it be this time?
"Hazel?" I open my eyes to look up at Ingrid.
"And what could I have done to be graced by your presence dear queen?"
"Very funny. Look, I saw something last night."
"Two rumours already, you're on a roll here." She gives me a look.
"He tried to speak to you, didn't he?"
" I thought you had more sizzling news to share, I didn't know yet once again, I'm the topic." I say, placing my hand against my chest dramatically.
" Why are you being like this?"
"How else should I be ex friend, that's what you are, aren't you?" I sigh, rising to my feet.
She averts her eyes elsewhere, whilst I walk past her.
"So it's that easy huh?" I stop in my tracks, glancing at her.
"You're just going to let him back in your life?"
"What does any of this matter to you? " I frown at her.
"We might not be friends anymore, but I'm not so cruel to watch on standby, as you make a mistake."
I stare at her for a while before bursting out in laughter.
" What's so funny?" She scrunches up her nose.
"This whole conversation, mostly you coming up to me in pretense concern, when you just want the latest gossip, to share between your girls."
"That's not what this is." She shakes her head.
"Then what is it?"
She keeps silent.
"You also don't know yet you're here to figure it out. Look, we were fine with the way things were, stay on your end and I'll stay on mine." I say, starting to walk off, only for me to be held back by a hand on my wrist.
" Hazel wait."
"What?" I huff, looking at her.
She let's go of my wrist, looking around around, as if making sure that the coast is clear before she speaks up again.
" I didn't want to say anything but it's best you should know." I quirk my brow in question." His girlfriend told me that he came here for something, and was going to use you for it. So just becareful - "
Roman has a girlfriend?
"He has a girlfriend?" I question, cutting her off.
She opens her mouth to speak but then a new voice beats her to it.
" Why would that matter to you?" My body tenses at hearing that.
Months later....I can't believe we finally did it, we graduated. I am more then ready to change the scenery and head on to college, with Roman ofcourse. He totally surprised me when he told me about how he'd had everything covered, before I could even start stressing about it. He literally begged that I let him have his way and darn it, I found myself agreeing before I could think about it, when he suddenly pouted, giving me innocent eyes and all.He can be so sneaky when he wants to.I finally left the Academy in good terms with the place, no longer was there fear or anxiety. I walked away with a smile, being in steady ground with some people. They have been a part of my story, a journey in which would honestly take us having a sit down, in order for me to retell.The life I have lived has been full of twists and turns, ups and downs and though at times, I felt like giving up
My dearest Hazel...By now you are a young woman, full of dreams and your heart still searching, for more to recieve. I do hope that by the time you read this letter, every bit of desire I had for your life, has come to pass. I hope that you are happy and in love. I hope that you are finally at that point in your life, where you know that your decisions matter, your voice matters.I hope that finally you and Roman have realised that you two, are soulmates.Maybe it's my wishful thinking but I see something there, something that is rare. As young as you two are, I see it and you two ending up together makes total sense, if you know what I mean.I hope that in whatever life has thrown at you, in every way, you must know that you will breathrough each hurdle that comes your way. I want you to know that it's okay to trust people, it's okay
I can't get his words out of my head, no matter how much I try. What he said, has brought so many thoughts into mind and those words, could only mean one thing, whatever it is, is important. His body language and tone suggested it and I can't think otherwise.I know that he has given me free reign over his phone, like I have done so too, but I just couldn't find myself checking his phone as if I am snooping around. I mean I trust Roman so much, it's bloody impossible for me not to.I can't go and straight out ask him, because that would mean I was eavesdropping. I didn't mean to overhear his private conversation, I just happened to hear, that's all. There are so many things I don't want do, that may come out wrong in his eyes. " Urgh, this is so exhausting!" I groan out." What's exhausting?" My head snap up in the direction of his voice, where he stands at the doorway.Before I can an
A moan slips out of his lips as I plant kisses along his skin. My focus is sorely on his neck and under his jaw. " Baby, what are you doing?" He asks, his sleepy voice making him sound so hot right now." Morning." I murmur in his ear before continuing with my assualt right where his weak spot is." Hazel." He groans, placing his hands on my waist, squeezing it and causing me to jump slightly.I lean back to look down at him." Will you wake up now?" A smirk plays on his lips whilst still keeping his eyes closed." Roman, look at me already." I whine." But I'm still sleepy." He says, trying to fight off a grin." No you're not. I'm here and that's more then enough reason to want to wake up." " Nope." I gape in disbelief of his answer. Fine, if he wants to sleep, then I'll leave him alone, damn O'
" Hazel?" I snap out of the trance I was just in, turning to look at my dad.His eyes show concern, even his approach towards me is slow and careful. I watch him silently as he sits on the coffee table, infront of me.We stare at each other for a moment, before he sighs, taking my hand in his own." This is the second time you've been up like this, in the middle of the night. You need to sleep sweetheart."" He wont talk to me. " I say numbly." Hazel...."" Roman wont talk to me, he wont answer my calls. I'm selfish aren't I?"" Hazel don't do this." I pull my hand away, cutting him off." I should feel different after having made this decision, but I'm not. " I rise to my feet. " Being here has made me realise that it's no longer just about me anymore."I walk away and head up to my room, feeling exhausted but not enough
I'm sorry.They are the words that my grandparents couldn't help but repeat too many times. It's been years since I'd last seen them and I thought I would never see them again. Tensions and disagreements were the cause of us seperating. After my mother's passing, nothing was the same again. My grandparents never saw eye to eye with my father again, both parties mourned differently. My grandparents thought it would be best for them to leave with me and raise me, whilst my father had time to mourn yet my father disagreed. He refused to let me go.The tension was too much and it was not good for either one of us. They suddenly left and communication thinned, until it was no more. Though it saddened me to lose out on contact with them, I accepted that I would never see them again. Years passed but now they are back, they want to mend our relationship and right, their wrongs.