I was woken up by consistent noise that coming from the outside. I guess there were three or four of them base on what voices I am hearing. Dahil sa ingay nila ay naistorbo na ang pagtulog ko.Nang bumangon ako ay saktong bumukas ang pinto at iniluwal nito ang mga taong matagal ko nang hindi nakikita.“How’s my daughter?” he sarcastically asked.I clenched my fist as I look firmly at him. As usual, wala pa rin siyang emosyon. Naroon din ang dalawang kapatid ko na hindi ko mawari kung anong klaseng tingin ang ipinupukol sa akin.Are they worried of me... or disappointed? Perhaps, it’s the latter. But Gin wasn’t there which filled confusion within me.“The hell are you doing here?” I asked, still clenching my fist as I look sharply at each one of them.Fion, as usual, is looking at me like I’m a trash. Fellin, of course, she couldn’t even look straight into my eyes. Moments later, the door open and my grandmothe
I can’t distinguish anymore if I’m really happy that I escape. Nakatakas nga ba ako?Then Why is Matthew here? The reason why my family locked me up inside of a dark room was also the reason why I escape, what am I suppose to feel?“Gin?” I asked, full of confusion now that I don’t know where should I lock my eyes on since Matthew is approaching near us.Yet he didn’t budge. He just lowered his head while waiting for Matthew to get near us until he went behind Gin and lean his arms on the back of his chair.“Aren’t you grateful? We saved you!” he happily said, still smirking as if didn’t felt the tension inside of this room.“I-I will explain, lady Fev.” Gin tried to hold my hand but I immediately shove it away.I’m still in chaos but I know to myself that this is not good. How come Gin is with Matthew? Is he the traitor among our butlers in the first place? Is he betraying me since day one?“Oh, I see. You jus
I waited. I waited for it to hit me but damn this car! It stopped!Patuloy pa rin sa pagtulo ang luha ko nang tumayo at pinaghahampas ang harap ng sasakyan.“Just fucking kill me!” I continue to hit it even though I’m already hurting my own hands. “Kill me now!”“Fev!”“Kill me!”“Fevianna!”I was stopped when I heard that familiar voice. It was dark already but when he got near me, that was the time I almost lost my energy. But he managed to hold me still and that’s when I didn’t waste a time and wrapped my arms around him.“Ryven!” I sobbed just by smelling his scent again. I missed him so much. I missed this man.“Fev, sorry... I-I’m really really sorry from what I did,” he said as he tightened our hugs and kissed the side of my head.I wasn't able to answer since I just want to feel his warmth. I feel like home inside of his embrace. Ngayong halos maubos na ang lakas ko ay unti-
Hindi ko alam kung saan ako pupunta. I just want to disappear from this world.I don’t even care even though I’m walking at the middle of the road, hearing the different kinds of horns. Why can’t they just kill me so this will end already?“Hoy! Magpapakamatay ka ba?!”I heard someone shout at me but I didn’t turn to look whoever it is. Nagpatuloy lang ako sa paglalakad hanggang sa matunton ko ang puro punong lugar. I went under the tree and let myself rest there. Napakatahimik... Napakapeaceful. I sat on the ground and leaned against the tree. Pinapakinggan ko lang ang tunog ng pagsayaw ng mga dahon kapag nahahanginan ito. I’m aftaid at the darkness but it’s a surprise that I found it calming now.When I open my eyes, There was no moon either stars. Until I suddenly feel a small liquid streaming down my face. I thought it’s my tears but I couldn’t cry anymore added that it’s cold. Later on, they simultaneously fall a
I slowly open my eyes when I heard the door open. Where am I? This is not my room and this is also not familiar to me.My vision is still blurry since I just woke up but when the person went near me, I slowly distinguish who it is.“Lady Fev...”His concerned eyes darted at me. Soon after, he touched my forehead with the back of his palm. “I brought soup and medicine. You should eat first,” he offered.This scene is familiar.I tried to rose up but I felt my head hurts. Inalalayan niya ako sa pag-upo hanggang sa mapasandal ako sa headboard.Later on, he just volunteered to give me a hand for me to eat. Hindi na ako tumanggi pa dahil sa nararamdamang gutom at hilo.Hinipan niya muna ito bago isinubo sa akin at habang kumakain ay wala akong ibang maisip kundi ang nangyari kahapon. Unti-unting bumabalik ang lahat ng sinabi ni Matthew na hindi ko alam kung dapat ko bang paniwalaan.“Your medicine
Tears are still streaming down my face when I hurriedly hopped inside of Gin’s car. “Lady Fev—”“Let’s go.”He didn’t question anymore when he saw my reaction. Muli niyang pinaandar ang sasakyan at mas malumanay na lang ngayon ang patakbo niya.Later on, he grope something in front and gave me the tissue. I hesitated first from accepting it but this is not the time to higher my pride. Kinuha ko ‘yon at naging tahimik na kami sa buong biyahe habang hinahayaan niya akong ilabas lahat ng luha ko. I am even sobbing but he’s just acting like he can’t hear me so that I can have a privacy.I feel like crying is not enough to ease my madness. I felt like I am enduring the problem of a whole nation. Sobrang bigat sa pakiramdam!I don’t know where he’s taking me but it was like we’re going up a mountain. Hinayaan ko na lang siya dahil sa ngayon ay wala pa akong ganang makipag-usap.Until later on, we stopped at the edge
Wala akong ibang ginawa kundi ang umiyak lang nang umiyak. Luckily, I was alone since Gin gave me time for myself. Hinayaan ko lang ang sarili kong maging mahina at mugtong-mugto na ang mga mata.I can’t even remember if I ate dinner. I just let myself be tired of crying until I fell asleep.Nagising na lang ako dahil sa sunod-sunod na katok sa pintuan.“Are you awake? I brought you food,” rinig ko ang mahinahong boses ni Gin mula sa labas.I was just staring at the ceiling for a few minutes until I heaved a deep sigh.“Come in,” I utter.Maya-maya lang din ay pumasok siyang may dalang tray ng pagkain. He first look at me as if observing me and my next move. “Kumusta ka?” With that question, I froze. Hindi ko alam na sa simpleng tanong lamang na ‘yon ay mahihirapan akong sagutin. I didn’t mean to make its meaning doubled but I just can’t distinguish what kind of question he wanna ask.Kumusta ako physically? Emotionally? Mentally? No. I am not okay, but this will gonna be okay... s
I swear to myself that this will be my last tears. Sawang-sawa na akong makaramdam ng sakit. Sa sunod-sunod na sakit na nalalaman ko ay unti-unti ako nitong minamanhid. And this is what I want...To be numb.Magdamag ko na atang naibuhos lahat ng luha ko dahil kinabukasan ay tila wala na akong maramdaman na kahit ano. Blangko na ang lahat-lahat sa akin. I can't trust anyone anymore, even myself.Or rather... I don't know myself... anymore.Umiling ako saka dumiretso na lang ng banyo para maligo. After doing my morning ritual ay lumabas na rin ako ng kwarto at naabutan pa si Gin na mukhang papunta ng kwarto ko.He stopped for a while when he saw me but later on continue to saunter towards me.“I have something to tell you,” he said.Hindi ako sumagot. Nanatili lang akong nakatayo sa harapan niya habang hinihintay ang susunod nitong sasabihin.“We’re going in England,” he added that immediately fixed my
“Ahhh!”Hawak-hawak ko ang balakang ko nang pwersahan akong mapaupo sa sahig. Pang-ilang araw na naming training dito pero parang wala pa ring nagbabago sa akin. Gano’n pa rin ako... Mahina.“Tayo!” sigaw ni Selena.Agad ko ring inayos ang sarili ko at muli siyang hinarap. Ngayon ay matalim siyang nakatitig sa mga mata ko na tila ba may hinahanap ito roon.“Show me your wrath!”Mariin ko siyang tiningnan at naghanda na sa susunod na pag atake pero nalalabanan niya iyon lahat.“Kulang pa iyan!” muling sigaw niya at tila ba mas galit pa siya sa akin ngayon.Muli akong sumubok pero wala talaga, sadyang mas malakas siya sa akin at wala na akong magagawa roon!Huminto muna ako at ipinatong ang mga kamay sa tuhod ko habang hinihingal. She's just watching me at tila ba disappointed ito sa mga nagiging kilos ko.“Is that all you’ve got, Fevianna?” she asked, irritated.“Pagod na ak—”“Do I gav
I have a bad feeling about this. Bakit ganito ang nararamdaman ko? Hindi na dapat talaga ako sumama, e!And to that woman, Selena! Bakit kung makatingin siya sa akin ay iba? Para bang handa ako nitong sakmalin anumang oras o kaya naman may binabalak siyang hindi maganda sa akin.I should be careful.Nagpapahinga na kami ngayon sa kaniya-kaniya naming kwarto. Thank God I’m alone now. Ang tanging sinabi lang sakin ni Matthew ay mas mapapalakas ako rito. And I think the person he was talking about na makakatulong sa akin ay si Selena. But what's with her presence?She’s a filipino residing here in England kaya nakakaintindi pa rin siya ng tagalog although mas na-aadapt niya na ang slang dito. And I need to get ready dahil magsisimula na bukas ang training namin. Malakas ang pakiramdam kong iba kung magtrain si Selena, sa presensya niya pa lang ay natitinag na ako, paano pa kaya kung nasa mismong training na kami?Gawa na rin ng sobrang pagod
“Are you all set?”Nalipat ang tingin ko sa repleksyon ni Gin sa salamin nang bigla na lang itong pumasok ng kwarto habang inaayusan ko ang sarili ko.I put on my lipstick before I stood up and turn to look at him.“Let's go,” I answered, blankly.Ngayon na ang alis namin at nagdesisyon akong baguhin ang lahat-lahat sa akin.I wore a skin-toned backless crop top and black high waist jeans. Naka-pony tail din ako kaya naman lantad na lantad ang balat ko sa likod.Hindi rin makatingin ng diretso sa akin si Gin na tila ba naiilang ito pero wala na akong pakialam. Inayos ko na lang ang mga gamit ko bago ito binigay sa kaniya. Pero bago pa ako lumabas ng kwarto ay pinagmasdan ko muna ang sarili sa salamin.I smirk as I saw my reflection on the mirror. Who would've thought that I actually became the bitch I didn't what to be?I put on my stilettos and compose myself. Bumagay ang suot ko sa pulang-pulang mga labi ko. A
I swear to myself that this will be my last tears. Sawang-sawa na akong makaramdam ng sakit. Sa sunod-sunod na sakit na nalalaman ko ay unti-unti ako nitong minamanhid. And this is what I want...To be numb.Magdamag ko na atang naibuhos lahat ng luha ko dahil kinabukasan ay tila wala na akong maramdaman na kahit ano. Blangko na ang lahat-lahat sa akin. I can't trust anyone anymore, even myself.Or rather... I don't know myself... anymore.Umiling ako saka dumiretso na lang ng banyo para maligo. After doing my morning ritual ay lumabas na rin ako ng kwarto at naabutan pa si Gin na mukhang papunta ng kwarto ko.He stopped for a while when he saw me but later on continue to saunter towards me.“I have something to tell you,” he said.Hindi ako sumagot. Nanatili lang akong nakatayo sa harapan niya habang hinihintay ang susunod nitong sasabihin.“We’re going in England,” he added that immediately fixed my
Wala akong ibang ginawa kundi ang umiyak lang nang umiyak. Luckily, I was alone since Gin gave me time for myself. Hinayaan ko lang ang sarili kong maging mahina at mugtong-mugto na ang mga mata.I can’t even remember if I ate dinner. I just let myself be tired of crying until I fell asleep.Nagising na lang ako dahil sa sunod-sunod na katok sa pintuan.“Are you awake? I brought you food,” rinig ko ang mahinahong boses ni Gin mula sa labas.I was just staring at the ceiling for a few minutes until I heaved a deep sigh.“Come in,” I utter.Maya-maya lang din ay pumasok siyang may dalang tray ng pagkain. He first look at me as if observing me and my next move. “Kumusta ka?” With that question, I froze. Hindi ko alam na sa simpleng tanong lamang na ‘yon ay mahihirapan akong sagutin. I didn’t mean to make its meaning doubled but I just can’t distinguish what kind of question he wanna ask.Kumusta ako physically? Emotionally? Mentally? No. I am not okay, but this will gonna be okay... s
Tears are still streaming down my face when I hurriedly hopped inside of Gin’s car. “Lady Fev—”“Let’s go.”He didn’t question anymore when he saw my reaction. Muli niyang pinaandar ang sasakyan at mas malumanay na lang ngayon ang patakbo niya.Later on, he grope something in front and gave me the tissue. I hesitated first from accepting it but this is not the time to higher my pride. Kinuha ko ‘yon at naging tahimik na kami sa buong biyahe habang hinahayaan niya akong ilabas lahat ng luha ko. I am even sobbing but he’s just acting like he can’t hear me so that I can have a privacy.I feel like crying is not enough to ease my madness. I felt like I am enduring the problem of a whole nation. Sobrang bigat sa pakiramdam!I don’t know where he’s taking me but it was like we’re going up a mountain. Hinayaan ko na lang siya dahil sa ngayon ay wala pa akong ganang makipag-usap.Until later on, we stopped at the edge
I slowly open my eyes when I heard the door open. Where am I? This is not my room and this is also not familiar to me.My vision is still blurry since I just woke up but when the person went near me, I slowly distinguish who it is.“Lady Fev...”His concerned eyes darted at me. Soon after, he touched my forehead with the back of his palm. “I brought soup and medicine. You should eat first,” he offered.This scene is familiar.I tried to rose up but I felt my head hurts. Inalalayan niya ako sa pag-upo hanggang sa mapasandal ako sa headboard.Later on, he just volunteered to give me a hand for me to eat. Hindi na ako tumanggi pa dahil sa nararamdamang gutom at hilo.Hinipan niya muna ito bago isinubo sa akin at habang kumakain ay wala akong ibang maisip kundi ang nangyari kahapon. Unti-unting bumabalik ang lahat ng sinabi ni Matthew na hindi ko alam kung dapat ko bang paniwalaan.“Your medicine
Hindi ko alam kung saan ako pupunta. I just want to disappear from this world.I don’t even care even though I’m walking at the middle of the road, hearing the different kinds of horns. Why can’t they just kill me so this will end already?“Hoy! Magpapakamatay ka ba?!”I heard someone shout at me but I didn’t turn to look whoever it is. Nagpatuloy lang ako sa paglalakad hanggang sa matunton ko ang puro punong lugar. I went under the tree and let myself rest there. Napakatahimik... Napakapeaceful. I sat on the ground and leaned against the tree. Pinapakinggan ko lang ang tunog ng pagsayaw ng mga dahon kapag nahahanginan ito. I’m aftaid at the darkness but it’s a surprise that I found it calming now.When I open my eyes, There was no moon either stars. Until I suddenly feel a small liquid streaming down my face. I thought it’s my tears but I couldn’t cry anymore added that it’s cold. Later on, they simultaneously fall a
I waited. I waited for it to hit me but damn this car! It stopped!Patuloy pa rin sa pagtulo ang luha ko nang tumayo at pinaghahampas ang harap ng sasakyan.“Just fucking kill me!” I continue to hit it even though I’m already hurting my own hands. “Kill me now!”“Fev!”“Kill me!”“Fevianna!”I was stopped when I heard that familiar voice. It was dark already but when he got near me, that was the time I almost lost my energy. But he managed to hold me still and that’s when I didn’t waste a time and wrapped my arms around him.“Ryven!” I sobbed just by smelling his scent again. I missed him so much. I missed this man.“Fev, sorry... I-I’m really really sorry from what I did,” he said as he tightened our hugs and kissed the side of my head.I wasn't able to answer since I just want to feel his warmth. I feel like home inside of his embrace. Ngayong halos maubos na ang lakas ko ay unti-