POV: Arnav
One Night Before the Wedding
I was exhausted with the haldi function today. I just wanted to sit with Maa for some time and decompress a little. She was there, sitting on the sofa looking at the kids playing and smiling in that kind, maternal way. I love to see that smile on her face. I can never explain my emotions, but, she is my Maa, and she knows me so very well. What I need, when I need it, everything.
I fell onto the sofa beside her. “Maa, are you interested in playing hide and seek with these kids?”
She chuckled, “I want to play hide and seek daily. With Shreya and your children, too.”
“Aren’t you expecting my kids a little too early? I’m not even married yet.”
“Beta,” she teased me, “today is the last night of your bach
POV: KritiIt was 7:00 pm when Arnav finally came back home. I heard him call for coffee and listened as he stomped up the steps and into our bedroom. We shared a glance but I fell straight back into the interesting book in my hands. I wanted to block his way and confront him right there, but I waited. I could at least let the poor soul freshen up before I attacked him. I sat, curled up on the bed with my book waiting for the right moment to talk to my husband. I stole a few covert glances over the top of my book at him as he moved around the room, changing out of his work clothes. Just like a pickpocket watches his victim for a perfect opportunity to steal a wallet and run away, I noticed every move he made.“Kriti, what are you doing? Do you need something?” Apparently, I hadn’t been as covert as I’d thought.“No,” I immediately replied.“Then, are you aiming to jump me like some c
“Ready to go?” he winked at me.The last three days in Kanpur had passed while packing and preparing for the move. It was 7:00 in the morning when we were finally ready to set out for Indore. I just nodded at him as he threwthe lastbag into the back seat of the car. This was our snack bag. I can’t go on a road trip without snacks. Our family stood next to the car, waiting to distribute goodbye hugs and all the luck they could wish us. Akansha and my family members had also come to see us off. They were all right on the verge of crying, but they showered me in hugs and kisses as Arnav climbed into the car. As we pulled away, I kept waving at them until the image of my family, new and old, disappeared into the distance. Tears flooded my eyes and my heart ached already.“Music?” he asked into the silence. Obviously looking for a way to distract me.I nodded in agreement and he switched it on. A song from his gushy romantic
The lift stopped on the third floor. Arnav gestured with his hand as he whispered, “After you!”He dug for the keys from his pocket as we moved into a quiet area dragging our trolleys. He opened the door and I was the one to step in first. As soon as the hall was brightly lit, I was awe-struck with the beauty of the place. The color of the walls was sea green. The lush, royal blue carpet perfectly complimented the giant black leather sofas which surrounded a small glass coffee table. A small wooden dining table with four chairs was kept in one corner. Although, it needed cleaning. Arnav’s bachelor life signs were clearly visible by the amount of dirt that was there on that furniture. We fell into the comfortable sofa, completely exhausted by our long journey, and my eyes stuck on the TV hung on the wall in front of us. “Arnav, is this all Arunima Bhabhi’s idea?”He closed his eyes absorbing that comfort as he said lethargically, &ldq
The next morning—the first in our new house—was an unusual one.“Kriti, you gotta wake up and lock the door. I'm leaving.” His voice drifted to me through a cloud of sleepy warmth.“Where are you going?” I whined, still warm and comfortable in the silky sheets of my new bed.“Kriti, wake up and listen to me,” he said a little more forcefully this time. I pried opened my eyes to see him standing beside me, every inch the sexy, powerful executive in an impeccably tailored suit. He looked so damn hot!I got up and my lips murmured automatically, “sexy!”“What?” he asked.“Nothing,” I replied immediately“Kriti, you said something.”“No, I didn’t,” I replied hesitantly and then smirked, “I think you need to get your ears checked. Should we see a Doctor?”His lips twisted into a bemused grin immediatel
A week passed by, and we kind of fell into a routine. We started going for walks together in the mornings and I found a maid for us. We were happy to connect with people in our building and we were lucky that we had good neighbors. My clothes had changed from those heavy, traditional sarees and suits to mostly lightly flared dresses, shorts and T-shirts. However, I did face challenges there. I got bored spending the whole day in that lonely house, and I was already running out of novels. I remembered our conversation from that night so many weeks ago, and, after years, I decided something for myself. I had always been a creative person. I loved art of any kind, from dancing to makingrangoli, I had loved everything. But, as the years passed by, all of that kind of slipped away. Maybe that’s why I opted for literature for my degree program. Because writing, in my opinion, was a form of art. And a true artist doesn’t only create masterpieces but also takes ti
While Arnav was at work, I spent my days cutting and folding colorful papers into different kind of flowers and birds, using my glue gun and pearls and stones to decorate everything I made, from photo frames to pen stands and some cute little vases. I fell in love with the things I made. It made me feel pleased with myself. I had started decorating each corner of the house with something or the other. The appearance of my living room had changed, each thing felt like it was shouting at me, “go Kriti! Go!”My eyes were in awe of the wind chime I’d just made. I didn’t notice when Arnav came back from work, as he spoke, “Kriti! You left the gate unlocked again.”I turned around to find my husband raising his eyebrows at me. But he looked different that day. He looked way more tired than any of the usual days, and his eyes looked gloomy, “Arnav! See this. It’s finished.”He approached me, his eyes fixed on the be
When the doorbell rang in the middle of the weekday, I was not expecting my husband to be standing at the gate. “Arnav, how come you’re back so early?”He smirked, “Kriti, won’t you let me come inside? Are you asking me to leave again?”“No,” I quickly moved aside, “it’s nothing of that sort. It’s just strange for you to be home early. What happened? Not feeling well?”“No, I’m alright,” he rushed into the hall, throwing a stack of files on the table. “More than just alright, actually. I am here because Golu is on his way, I just wanted to stop by and let you know before I go to pick him up.”He was unusually cheerful, and it made me happy to see him like that.“Oh! Great. So, I’ll prepare everything then.”“Don’t worry about all that, I’m just excited to meet him after so long,” he said, sound
I wiped my hands on the kitchen towel and called out to him, ‘yeah, coming!” I grabbed a tray from the counter, put a big smile on my face, and went out to greet the boys. But my smile faded as soon as I saw who stood in my foyer. I blinked twice.“Sameer—”Sameer said, “Kriti.”Our eyes met and the world around me just stopped. What the hell was happening? Arnav went to pick up his cousin, Golu, and Sameer Omar was in my house. I was confused. I wanted this to be a nightmare. A nightmare that I could wake up from with a jerk and all this would just vanish. Arnav looked from Sameer to me, confusion on his face. Sameer was giving that same idiotic smile he always had, and I was cringing on the inside.“You people know each other?” Arnav asked.Sameer and I both answered him, “yes.” I was trying to keep my internal cringe from becoming an external shudder of disgust.Arnav
EPILOGUEThree Years LaterThe hairdresser was busy as she carefully straightened each strand of my dark brown locks. I searched my own face in the mirror and found that I’ve aged a little.Years have flown by. The day Arnav and I became one, my whole life changed. It wasn't too soon after that I found my real calling, my real passion and I wrote a book. I always wanted to be everything at once, and being a writer helped me to be that. For my third book, I landed a reputable publisher. Arnav and I have since been each other's best friends and he calls me his better half. My phone rang and I answered Arnav’s call on the first ring.“Hello? Kriti, are you ready yet?”“Almost, it will take about twenty more minutes.”“Okay, I’m leaving to pick you. Prabhat has called me several times already. We must be there by 6 pm sharp.”“We’ll be there at six, Arnav, don’t worry.”“Okay! I’m on my way. Love you.”Today, my second book was launching. It was a big day for me. I was right, I was made t
POV: KritiHe leaned in and our lips met again, for the third time in the last hour. It seemed like my husband wasn’t in a mood to go to work today. A swift move of his hand, and I heard the door close with a loud bang. His other hand explored my back through the thin line of cotton between our bodies. I moaned and gasped for breath and he finally released my lips, with a pleased and mischievous smile on his face.“Kriti! I need to leave now.”“Am I stopping you?” I dared.“No, but you’re not making it easy”My hand was entangled with his. I left it, waving my hands in a submitting motion. “I am not doing anything.”“But your eyes are telling me a different story.” He encircled his firm arms around my waist, nearly lifting me up from the ground, and whispered, “and you know what I would do if you keep doing that.”My lips curled into a smile as I buried my head on his shoulder. He’d been doing this since when we’d had that heartfelt tear-shedding moment. Hugging me tightly before leav
POV: ArnavThose words, those exact words were something I had longed to hear from her since the day I’d realized my love for her. I’d wondered, since that first day, if she’d be able to love a workaholic, boring, unexpressive businessman? I am who I am, I can’t change this person I’ve become. I felt my eyes getting heavy. I couldn’t hear anything but her sobs. And those words kept, again and again, repeating in my head, ‘I just... I love you so much…’ I closed my eyes. I felt something hot and wet slide down my cheek. Was it a tear? A tear of joy? I was numb. It didn’t even occur to me that I had to say something to her in return. To offer her a response to the revelations of her deepest feelings. I felt as if God had granted me some wish for which I’d prayed to him daily. I held her as close and as fiercely as I could for long minutes. And only then did I realize that now, it w
POV: KritiArnav was sitting quietly as he dressed my leg with a crepe bandage. I wanted to talk to him but his iron composure was making me scared. I knew he had to hate me. I wasn’t going to get a way out. I didn’t want to face him earlier. So, I just ran away. I ran away and left the diary for him. I’d been trying to talk to him for days, tell him everything that had happened, but I just couldn’t find the courage. I knew he was hurt. It was clearly visible on his face. And those eyes, when he came out running from the car and realized that it was me he had hit…“Arnav, I’m fine. It’s alright.”He looked directly into my eyes and took a deep breath, regaining that calmness. “Kriti, can I ask you something?”“Yes, Arnav.”“Have I ever scolded you?”I had no reply and just shook my head ‘no’.“Hav
POV: ArnavHours had passed and all my efforts had been in vain. I was just circling the city in my car and I had no clue where she might be. I had looked at every place I could possibly think of, and I had nothing in my mind now. I’d been in touch with Akansha and my phone again rang again.“Akansha, any news?” My voice filled with a tiny little spark of hope.“NoJeeju,” she said sadly, “nothing. Did you check café Downing Street?”“Yes, she wasn’t there. I asked for her everywhere.”We were both playing on assumptions of this unpredictable girl.“Did you look at any of the streets she likes to walk or anything?”“Yes,” I conceded. My hands ruffled my hair, “I did, I looked everywhere. Not a single person has seen her.”“Oh God, what will we do
POV: ArnavI tried calling her but she wouldn’t pick up her phone. She was angry and I’d first have to apologize for my earlier behavior, I was fine with that.I reached our home and I knocked at the door. I kept knocking, but she didn’t answer. When I let myself in, she wasn’t there. My chest got tight as I looked around the empty house. Whenever she had to go somewhere she’d always tell me. Maybe she had gone to buy more craft supplies.The first thing I saw, laying on the coffee table, was a black diary. The one in which Kriti writes now is purple, where did this black one come from and why was it here? There was a paper under the paper weight, kept on that black thing. I sat on the sofa and tried calling her again, but she wasn’t answering. The sinking feeling inside began to grow. Panic. This was what panic felt like. I hated it.I took a look at the paper.‘Arn
Four years ago, February:Dear Diary, we’ll be celebrating our second anniversary this April. Me and Sameer, the bond between us has grown so much. He talks to me like he’s planning to propose soon. Although, we have had our issues.Sameer, never liked me working at the Cultural Society. A few weeks ago, I had to work and he wanted me to go home with him instead. I had to tell him no, and he got angry. I sometimes don’t like his anger, the way he behaves with me, when he gets angry. As if, there’s nothing worthwhile about me all. He screams at me, he sometimes uses bad words. He hurts me sometimes, by his words, by his gestures, and a little bit physically too, he has left marks on my body, marks I’ve had to hide or lie about to my parents. He throws things, whatever he gets hold of, but then afterwards he always apologizes, he always tells me it was me, that I made him do it,
POV: ArnavI exhaled a breath as I hung upAbhishek Bhaiya’scall. He said he missed me. Even I miss our family but at least, Kriti and Golu were there. It had been nearly two weeks since Golu had arrived. That bastard had actually kept his promise by meeting me several times. I felt good with him. All those years, when I was all alone, I met him regularly just because, most of the time, he made my tension, the pressures, fade away a little bit. When I was struggling with the relationship with my real brother, he was there with me at least. I was able to just live some peaceful moments with him. We went for drives together in Kanpur on his bike. It gave me so much contentment when we drove to his place here in Indore the first time. I thought back to what he’d said on that first day while we were driving to his place.He’d been surprised. “Kriti, you found her?”“I didn&r
Five Years Ago, January:Dear Diary, each passing day is becoming more and more difficult for me. I just can’t forget the things he said to me after reading that letter. The first thing he asked me was, “why?”He asked me why I loved him. Does that even makes sense? Is there ever a reason why we love someone the way we do? Is it even under my control? Couldn’t he see that, with every day that passed, after that first conversation of ours, that I felt something? I fell for him. Head over heels. He made me feel special, made me feel like he cared about me, and I loved him for it. We’ve spent so many days together, and I now realize that I spent those days in a lie of my own manufacturing. I was so sure he loved me. But he doesn’t.He said, “can’t we just be friends?”What kind of friendship is this? What kind of friend sits by your si