When the doorbell rang in the middle of the weekday, I was not expecting my husband to be standing at the gate. “Arnav, how come you’re back so early?”
He smirked, “Kriti, won’t you let me come inside? Are you asking me to leave again?”
“No,” I quickly moved aside, “it’s nothing of that sort. It’s just strange for you to be home early. What happened? Not feeling well?”
“No, I’m alright,” he rushed into the hall, throwing a stack of files on the table. “More than just alright, actually. I am here because Golu is on his way, I just wanted to stop by and let you know before I go to pick him up.”
He was unusually cheerful, and it made me happy to see him like that.
“Oh! Great. So, I’ll prepare everything then.”
“Don’t worry about all that, I’m just excited to meet him after so long,” he said, sound
I wiped my hands on the kitchen towel and called out to him, ‘yeah, coming!” I grabbed a tray from the counter, put a big smile on my face, and went out to greet the boys. But my smile faded as soon as I saw who stood in my foyer. I blinked twice.“Sameer—”Sameer said, “Kriti.”Our eyes met and the world around me just stopped. What the hell was happening? Arnav went to pick up his cousin, Golu, and Sameer Omar was in my house. I was confused. I wanted this to be a nightmare. A nightmare that I could wake up from with a jerk and all this would just vanish. Arnav looked from Sameer to me, confusion on his face. Sameer was giving that same idiotic smile he always had, and I was cringing on the inside.“You people know each other?” Arnav asked.Sameer and I both answered him, “yes.” I was trying to keep my internal cringe from becoming an external shudder of disgust.Arnav
Six years ago, September:It has been a long time since I have had a chat with you dearest Diary. But today, something happened at college. You know that I have been nominated as the Cultural Society President. It would not have been possible without Mumma and all my teachers.Today, I was trying to explain to the girl playing Laxmibai in the upcoming youth fest drama, that she must make her character more compelling and she’s got to enhance the dialogue on her own. But she was not ready to listen to anything. Instead, she just picked a fight with me. I was all alone there, with her, and she got so angry. I was actually scared for a moment. But you know, that hideous basketball player in our class, Sameer, he heard what was happening, and he stood up for me.I would have never, ever expected that from him. I’ve never even talked to him before. He was just in a few classes with me, and oc
I didn’t realize that it was possible that the mere existence of man in the same city as I, could cause such grief. Sameer was like a rash that just would not go away. The next morning I slept late, and didn’t see Arnav before he went to work. When I did wake up, however, I found a text from Sameer on my phone—a good morning message. My mind was clouded with that look on Sameer’s face when he said he’d missed me. Did he really miss me? Did I really care?My doorbell rang before I was even fully out of bed. I jumped out of the bed, threw on my robe over my nightie and raced to the door, expecting maybe Arnav was back. Sameer was the last person I was expecting to see that morning, and yet, there he was, standing on my doorstep.“Arnav’s not home,” I stated in blatant defiance. “Why are you here?”“I just wanted to visit myBhabhi.”I wanted to slam the doo
Five Years Ago, January:Dear Diary, each passing day is becoming more and more difficult for me. I just can’t forget the things he said to me after reading that letter. The first thing he asked me was, “why?”He asked me why I loved him. Does that even makes sense? Is there ever a reason why we love someone the way we do? Is it even under my control? Couldn’t he see that, with every day that passed, after that first conversation of ours, that I felt something? I fell for him. Head over heels. He made me feel special, made me feel like he cared about me, and I loved him for it. We’ve spent so many days together, and I now realize that I spent those days in a lie of my own manufacturing. I was so sure he loved me. But he doesn’t.He said, “can’t we just be friends?”What kind of friendship is this? What kind of friend sits by your si
POV: ArnavI exhaled a breath as I hung upAbhishek Bhaiya’scall. He said he missed me. Even I miss our family but at least, Kriti and Golu were there. It had been nearly two weeks since Golu had arrived. That bastard had actually kept his promise by meeting me several times. I felt good with him. All those years, when I was all alone, I met him regularly just because, most of the time, he made my tension, the pressures, fade away a little bit. When I was struggling with the relationship with my real brother, he was there with me at least. I was able to just live some peaceful moments with him. We went for drives together in Kanpur on his bike. It gave me so much contentment when we drove to his place here in Indore the first time. I thought back to what he’d said on that first day while we were driving to his place.He’d been surprised. “Kriti, you found her?”“I didn&r
Four years ago, February:Dear Diary, we’ll be celebrating our second anniversary this April. Me and Sameer, the bond between us has grown so much. He talks to me like he’s planning to propose soon. Although, we have had our issues.Sameer, never liked me working at the Cultural Society. A few weeks ago, I had to work and he wanted me to go home with him instead. I had to tell him no, and he got angry. I sometimes don’t like his anger, the way he behaves with me, when he gets angry. As if, there’s nothing worthwhile about me all. He screams at me, he sometimes uses bad words. He hurts me sometimes, by his words, by his gestures, and a little bit physically too, he has left marks on my body, marks I’ve had to hide or lie about to my parents. He throws things, whatever he gets hold of, but then afterwards he always apologizes, he always tells me it was me, that I made him do it,
POV: ArnavI tried calling her but she wouldn’t pick up her phone. She was angry and I’d first have to apologize for my earlier behavior, I was fine with that.I reached our home and I knocked at the door. I kept knocking, but she didn’t answer. When I let myself in, she wasn’t there. My chest got tight as I looked around the empty house. Whenever she had to go somewhere she’d always tell me. Maybe she had gone to buy more craft supplies.The first thing I saw, laying on the coffee table, was a black diary. The one in which Kriti writes now is purple, where did this black one come from and why was it here? There was a paper under the paper weight, kept on that black thing. I sat on the sofa and tried calling her again, but she wasn’t answering. The sinking feeling inside began to grow. Panic. This was what panic felt like. I hated it.I took a look at the paper.‘Arn
POV: ArnavHours had passed and all my efforts had been in vain. I was just circling the city in my car and I had no clue where she might be. I had looked at every place I could possibly think of, and I had nothing in my mind now. I’d been in touch with Akansha and my phone again rang again.“Akansha, any news?” My voice filled with a tiny little spark of hope.“NoJeeju,” she said sadly, “nothing. Did you check café Downing Street?”“Yes, she wasn’t there. I asked for her everywhere.”We were both playing on assumptions of this unpredictable girl.“Did you look at any of the streets she likes to walk or anything?”“Yes,” I conceded. My hands ruffled my hair, “I did, I looked everywhere. Not a single person has seen her.”“Oh God, what will we do