"how's her vitals?" I heard someone ask, I couldn't see anything... feel anything.. but I heard it."she's responding well, but she was very an anemic." someone else said. I felt someone touch my eye, before I saw a bright light.Suddenly everything came back, I could see... feel everything. "sorry to startle you" one of the nurses smiled, putting her light away in her pocket."what happened?" I pushed myself up, leaning against the headboard."We'll go get the doctor to explain everything" one of the nurses smiled, before they both wandered out of the room chatting away.The door opened, revealing Angelo, who had an awkward smile on his face."welcome back" he said, closing the door behind him "where's Christiano?" I asked. I needed to see him, I had been stupid, I'd wanted there to be something wrong because I was afraid.. I don't know why I was afraid, but I was, I'm so used to running and hiding, but from now on... "I called him but-" he was cut off by a loud slamming of doors
3 months later "I've got to go" Christiano grabbed his car keys, but before he opened the door he looked back. "what am I forgetting?" he turned, scratching his head. He grabbed he phone from his pocket, scrolling through it. "ah!" he said triumphantly, "doctors appointment at 2" "yes, so you better be back by one" I said from my position on the sofa, my eyes glued to the television "I'll try" he said, placing his phone in his pocket, "I love you" he smiled "and my the little bambino" he then turned, quickly striding through the door. It was hard hiding my pregnancy. I felt like I was betraying everyone keeping this secret from them... especially Angelo, who'd be over the moon... I was terrified for today. What if something was wrong? what if the gun shot wound hadn't heald properly and it was hurting my baby? Can gunshot wounds hurt babies? I can tell you one thing, I'd grown so attached to this baby in such a short time. Christino goes out to club everyday, and I stay here, mo
Carly hadn't even looked at me. Every time I entered a room she left it... But the worst thing was I didn't really care. I knew I hadn't told her... I was planning to tell her... I really was... It had been months since that day. The day Dimitri arrived.I didnt even know he existed... I'd thought he was going to get revenge at some point but it had gone surprisingly quiet on that front.1 more month. One more month until everything changed. One month until I had someone else to care about... to love... to hopefully not loose.Yes I wanted my baby, but I didn't at the same time. What sort of person brings an innocent thing into a life like this? What sort of person does that to their child? I know I can't go back... I don't want to go back... but I didn't know where to go from here. How do you protect something so... so precious from this... this poisonous life were living? Because it was, it was poisonous, not matter how much we deny it... Say we're good people deep down... This life
I knew it would be today... I could feel it. Something was off, she was coming today. "You okay?" Angelo placed his hand on my shoulder, squeezing it lightly. I nodded, before smiling at him for reassurance. Angelo sat down next to me, pulling out his phone. "how's your head this morning?" I laughed, remembering his drunken state last night."I'm no light weight" he chuckled. "shhh why are you talking so loudly?!" Carly sat down, sunglasses covering her face. "she opened another bottle of wine when she got back" Angelo pointed out."shush you." she held up her hand, before dropping it on the table, groaning.. Suddenly she perked up, pulling her glasses from her face. She rubbed her eyes, grunting under her breath."anyway, how are you?" she looked towards me .I didn't know if I should tell anyone. What if I wasn't feeling anything... "I'm okay" I said, placing my hands on my stomach. "I'm so excited to be an uncle!" Angelo smiled, excitement in his voice."you do realise your no
The next few days were the best of my life. Everything seemed to be falling into place... for once it felt normal; good. But I knew it wouldn't last long.I sat down on the rocking chair, Rosalie fast asleep in my arms, her tiny hands clasping and unclasping as she dozed lightly. I couldn't take my eyes off her, she was perfect, innocent to everything. I wanted to capture her innocent moments, because I knew that when she was grown up, and she finally understood the world we choose to live in... she won't be safe anymore."hey" Angelo stood in the doorway, leaning against the frame. "hi" I whispered, beckoning him into the room."I came to see the beautiful little princess" he said, taking off his jacket and placing it over the back of my chair. Ever since the birth, me and Angelo had gotten close. He was becoming the brother I had always wanted..."here" I said, standing up carefully. I handed Rosalie to Angelo, her eyes slowly opening as he smiled."hey little Rosie" he cooed, wal
"so this is nice" I said, my eyes scanning the secluded resteraunt "do you think Angelo is okay?" "he's fine, he's a capable man, some of the time" Christiano smiled, taking a sip from his whisky. "good evening Mr Acerra, what can I get you tonight?" a preppy Italian man stood in front of the table."ladies first" Christiano sat back in his chair, watching me intently "you know I can't read this, it's in Italian!" "well what do you think they are?" he smirked, raising his eyebrows suggestively. I glared at him, but he just sat there as smug as ever."I suggest the Penne all'arrabbiata" the waiter chimed in, noticing the clear tension that was growing between us."I'll have that then, thank you" I handed the waiter the menu, smirking back at Christiano before sitting back in my chair."and for you sir?" the waiter looked towards Christiano, who sat forward, clearly annoyed. "the usual" Christiano said, handing him the menu. The waiter nodded towards us, before scurrying off back i
"Are we really doing this?" I looked over at Christiano, who sat next to me in the car, his eyes glued to his phone. We were on our way to the 'gala' and frankly the prospect of it worried me. Why did he want us to come? What was he up to? Christiano seemed unfazed by the whole situation, he didn't even seem to care that we were about to walk into enemy territory. "Christiano." I prompted, his head shooting up and looking at me "what?" he mumbled, confusion over his face"were you seriously not listening?" I said, crossing my arms against my chest. He locked his phone, placing it in his jacket pocket, before turning in his seat, his full attention on me."I'm sorry, what did you say?" he said"Why does this whole situation not bother you?" I asked, turning in my seat to look at him too."because I know I'm better than him." he scoffed, a confident look overtaking his face. "It's nothing to worry about, so he wants to throw a party, doesn't make his mafia any better..." "I know that
4 years laterIt took a while to get over the shock, in one night everything turned upside down. Dimitri was married to Selene...and that wasn't all they had a child. A child. It had never occurred to me that they would have known each other, that maybe she was his wife.... The signs were clearly there... but I didn't want to believe it... so I blocked it, I didn't let myself believe it could have happened.But when I found out that night, I was shocked at first... but then I just felt relieved. I know it sounds strange, but it felt like closure... that for once what I had expected to happen, actually did. We left the house as soon as we found out, I'd expected Christiano to be angrier, but he just kept laughing about it. I think he was relived too, maybe because now he knew Dimitri was more vulnerable, but maybe because in his mind, Selene would finally give up. But she didn't, every month she sent a letter. A letter that despite having the same subject, changed its tone every time.
Today was it. The day I get to rewrite my own love story. In a strange way I feel lucky, loosing my memories meant I get to relive them all over again... I get to fall in love again.. I get to marry him again. Not alot of people can say they've done that! I studied myself in the mirror, smoothing down the skirt of my dress. Carly messed my hair, placing jewelled clips into the braided parts before placing the veil. She stepped back, a loving look on her face. "omg V... you look amazing..." "You look amazing" I replied, walking over to her side. She was dresses in a lavender dress, her blonde hair held in a high ponytail. "Now" she began, "Are you ready?" She asked, smiling at me expectantly"Yeah... I'm ready" I replied, before heading towards the door. ----"Where are we going?" I asked Carly, worried about how long we'd been in the car. "It's a suprise!" She said excitedly."Carly I don't do well with suprises!" I said, getting nervous. "Don't worry, you'll love it" she said,
That morning I'd woke up alone, Christiano had gone to work and I was in charge of the children. Luca was easy, he just needed a fully tummy and a cosy spot and he'd sit happily, snoozing occasionally... Rosie was the opposite, she was a cheeky soul who was up for challenging me at all times. She wanted to choose what she wore, her ideal outfit was a yellow dress with purple tights and orange boots. Clearly she got her fashion sense from somewhere else. Mid morning, Luca had gone down for a nap, his face content as he dosed in his moses basket. Rosie was playing with some play dough, creating a plate for her lunch."What do you want for lunch mummy?" she asked, rolling green dough to peas. "I'll have a burger please chef!" I laughed, before flicking through the photo album. My wedding... Christiano had told me we'd had to have a rushed wedding, but we looked so in love. The next few pictures were of when Rosie was born, one of me holding her just after, one of her dressed in a fusch
Christiano I pulled up outside the hospital as I always did. In the same space I always parked in. I walked the same way, I saw the same people. But today felt different.I couldn't tell if it was a good or bad different... I just knew it felt new. As I entered his ward, I saw nurses rushing past me, panicked looks on their faces. I didn't think anything of it for a second, I thought it may have been someone else... until I saw them run to Angelo's room. I picked up my pace, quickly approaching the door to where he was. Doctors and nurses crowded around him, too many for me to see what was happening. I pushed the door open, a few nurses heads turning to look at me. Noone said anything for a moment, making my heart sink. A doctor blocked my view, but I could tell something had happened. Something had changed. "Can we get him another 20mg of morphine please" the doctor instructed a nurse, before continuing what he was doing. The nurse returned, injecting the liquid into a tube which
The next few days were strange. Overwhelmingly bizarre. When Christiano finally brought Luca and Rosie home I felt evil for not knowing them... for not loving them. But that quickly changed. Despite loosing my memory, the love you feel for your children is overbearing. It felt right, it felt good. Rosie didn't really understand why I couldn't remember her. She thought I was just being silly, playing games with her. Everytime she would run up to me, asking me weird questions, she'd stop shortly after... questions clearly running through her mind. But then she'd smile, and I knew she couldn't care less that I didn't remember. She was just happy I was there.I couldn't believe she was mine... I mean looking at Christiano you could see why she was so pretty... but she was spunky and vibrant... how Christiano described me to be... And Luca...this tiny being with bright glistening eyes was so pure... he was so tiny still, his airy brown hair beginning to grow on his head. He smiled, his
"What?" He asked, looking at me strangley "I-I don't know you." I muttered"It's me-" He began, his face now full of concern."I said I don't know who you are. Please can you leave..." I said"Vanessa, it's me, Marco." He said astonished "I don't know a Marco" I replied. "You don't remember? Anything?" He asked.I searched my head, looking for an answer. The last thing I remember was leaving home."No" I said, tears filling my eyes "Why are you looking at me- like that?" I asked, my voice breaking "I-i need to go and make a call. You rest." Marco said, before quickly leaving the room. What was happening? I don't understand... he said I knew him? I'd never met a Marco..."It's good to see your awake Mrs Acerra" a young female doctor said, as she entered the room followed by a flock of nurses. "What? My names Vanessa Diamond..." I replied, pulling my blanket closer to meThe doctor looked at the nurses, before whispering to one "page Dr Newbury..."."What's happening? Noone is tell
Christiano "No!" I cried out, as he aimed the gun at her. He froze, his eyes darting to me. "You'll get your turn" He said, smirking wildly."Please..." I mumbled. Dario looked at me with shock, before dropping his arm."What was that?" He mocked"I said... I said please. Please don't kill her. Kill me, sure... but please let her live, our children need their mother... please" I pleaded, not caring about my pride anymore. All I cared about was her, It didn't matter if I died a laughing stock... as long as I knew she was still alive, she was there for our children. "My oh my" Dario said, holding onto his heart for extra affect. "That's sweet. Really, I mean it. It almost makes me want to change my mind... but... alas..." He paused, before turning back to Vanessa. She still lay lifeless, her body in an awkward position. "Please can I atleast see my bambino's first.... can we have time together as a family?" I pleaded, hoping he'd give me enough time to think of a plan. Dario seeme
Vanessa Hindsight is a wonderful thing. Being able to look back on a situation with new knowledge that could have changed it all... It allows you to say what if? What if I'd done that differently? What if if said something else? In retrospect my life could have been so different. If I would have conformed to my mother's wishes who would I be? Would I be 'normal'? Would I be happy? Sad? Alone? I wouldn't be here that's for sure... locked in this bare room waiting for what probably will be the day I finally die. If I hadn't had gone into the club that day... would I still have met him? Was he written in my stars? Or was it just a matter of chance? Of consequence?But looking back I don't regret a thing. Yes I'm locked in a room holding onto my terrified daughter waiting for something... anything to happen. But I'd do it all over again to have the chance to love him... to marry him... to have our two beautiful children. Looking back is great... we can ask what if? But why should w
VanessaI could feel nothing. My whole body was so numb I wasn't even sure where I was.... or what was happening.Nothing made sense. People walked before me, speaking words I couldn't comprehend. I knew it was English... I know I should be able to understand... but my head felt as though it was going through a never ending spin cycle. What had he given me? Why did I feel this way? Where are my children?I watched him pace back and forth, his face amused as I sat in complete silence. He opened his mouth, noise flooding out but I couldn't understand at all. It was as though he'd turned me back into a baby... I couldn't understand, I couldn't talk or really move... He moved towards me, his hand roughly grabbing all clump of my hair, pulling my face up to meet his. He leered down at me, a menacing look in his eyes. He stayed still for a moment, before roughly dropping the hair, my head falling down clumsily. He was laughing at me. Laughing at what he'd done to me. Laughing at my incomp
2 hours earlier"Rosie it's time for bed now" I said again, as I reached the top of the stairs. "Not until daddy comes home!" She squeeled before running back into her room."Daddy isn't coming home tonight, he's got stuff to do... he'll be here when you wake up" I said, wandering into her room. She stood expectantly, her arms crossed, a pout on her face. "You know that only works on daddy" "But..." She said, making her voice shake. "Your just like your dad, you know that.." I laughed, before grabbing her pajamas off the end of the bed. "Now bed time please. Be good or when daddy comes home I'll tell him you've been naughty""I don't care" she said, rolling her eyes. "Then he won't take you on your super special secret birthday suprise..." I said, before heading towards the door."Wait!" She squeeled "If I go to bed, you won't tell daddy?" "Pinky promise" I chuckled "Ugh fine" she sighed, exactly like Angelo would. I passed her the pajamas before pulling the door shut behind me.