What does it mean to be loved? Love is unconditional, unbreaking, loving someone means you'd do absolutely anything for them! I had never experienced love, not from anyone. I wasn't the daughter my parents wanted, the one they could buy pretty dresses and Barbie's. Because of this I had spent many years practically alone, my little sister Miya was everything they wanted...needed. So I left, I grabbed my old duffle bag out of the wardrobe before stuffing as much in it as I could. I ran down the stairs throwing the bag over my shoulder, the front door flung open revealing the shocked face of my mom. "Where are you going?" She threw her keys on the table before slamming the door behind her."I'm moving out" I continued down the stairway standing before her"Why? You cant move out, I don't give you permission" She attempted to grab the bag off my shoulder, yanking at my hair in the process. "I'm 19 mom. I don't need permission from you, and even if I wasn't, do you seriously think id w
I closed the door behind me, before turning and looking both ways...I had no clue where to go."You must be new around here?" I jumped slightly before seeing the girl who was stalking her way towards me. Her blonde hair was tightly wrapped around curlers on her head and she wore a thin pink silk kimono. "is it that obvious?" I asked, trying to hide the fact I was terrified of what I had just signed myself up for."No... but Joey told me to come get you and show you around..." her face lit up "I'm Carly but around here I go by Angel" she looked at me expectantly "Vanessa" "you look like a Vanessa!" she chirped "do you have a stage name yet?""no... do I need one?" "it's preferred.. plus you don't want some pervert knowing your real name." she turned around and began walking down the corridor, noticing my lack of movement she yelled over her shoulder "are you coming or shall I just leave you there like a lost puppy?" ---"and this is the main stage" she pointed to the large wooden
My meeting with Christiano had left me completely frazzled. I was in such a state of shock, that I completely forgot where my room was. I kept walking the hallways avidly looking for my door. Eventually I found the room, running inside I closed the door firmly behind me. I cannot believe what just happened, I had thought I had more self restraint than that but there was just something that made me trust him..which I knew was absolutely stupid because it would come back to bite me.I needed to sort my head out, was I actually beginning to sucombe to this lifestyle? After one of the longest shower in history I threw myself on the bed, allowing the soft silk covers to suck me in.----"svegliati baby" a vague voice echoed through my dreams. "'svegliati" a warm hand caressed my face, shocking me awake."what the fúck?" I blurted out, my heart racing inside of my chest"hey mind your language baby" Christiano stood up off the bed, straightening up his suit."why are you in my room? have yo
"Get what ever you want" Christiano looked up briefly from his phone before looking straight back down.He had decided that I needed to go shopping as it was a, and I quote "girl thing". "I hate shopping" I groaned, my eyes searching the racks of clothing before me."But when I brought Angel shopping she practically died on the spot" he looked so confused... "I thought all girls like to shop?""I am not a typical girl. Shopping is my last priority" I huffed loudly, trying to emphasise my boredom "you are trouble already." he tucked his phone away in his blazer pocket before turning and looking across the street "ice cream? please say you like ice cream" "i love ice cream!" ----Once we had finished the most chocolaty sundae ever Christiano took me back to the club. It was strange seeing normal people, living normal lives. Even though my stay had been short, my world had become completely different.As we walked back into the club the air was filled with shouting. "But I haven't b
3 weeks laterI can't believe they haven't found me yet.Me and Sam really hit it off, we tried being friends, that lasted all of 1 day. He is better than Christiano, kinder, gentler. He let me move into his apartment outside of the city and I actually felt safe here. I knew the were looking for me, I knew Christiano was going mad. But I had to keep hiding, I hoped they would eventually give up... eventually realise I hadn't gone to the police and just wanted to forget everything that happened. I got a job as a barista in the local coffee shop, and for once in my life things were starting to look up. ---I heard the chimes jingle above the door from the stock room. I placed the magazine I was reading on the table before walking through to the front of the shop. A short stocky man stood on the other side of the counter, clutching onto a smart phone. "what can I get you?" "Espresso please." he barely looked up but kept typing away on his phone. I felt like I had see him before somew
"Do you know who these men are Vanessa?" Sam's eyes burnt through me"Of course she does" Christiano grinned wildly"Is someone going to tell me what the fúck is going on?!" I stared blankly at Sam, he had seemed so calm before today, I thought he was different, I thought I was safe"Calm down blondie!" Angelo chuckled, leaning against the wall."All you need to know is that... that..." I didn't know what to say... if I told him who they were they would kill him and probably lock me away in a dungeon somewhere. "Let's say I'm her old boss." Christiano began pacing around the room, his hands placed firmly in his pockets."okay I get that... but why are you so desperate to find her? she quit get over it dude!" Sam shut up. "I think you'll find 'dude' that she didn't quit but in fact ran away" I could tell her was going to loose it, he began rubbing his hands over his face, the smirk falling into a deep set scowl."Are you seriously that desperate that you have to gather up your... you
"Get in the car" Christiano's tone was cold and harsh."You don't have to be so mean. It's not like I have a choice!" he laughed lightly... why does he find everything I say funny?"just get in baby" I sighed, before stepping into the long black car that waited outside. I shuffled over to the seat as far away from Christiano as possible. "I won't bite... unless you want me to" he winked"can you just be normal for 5 minutes""I am being normal. This is my normal" he smiled, genuinely he smiled. I was shocked, I didn't think he could smile... his face would probably crack if he smiled for too long.----The car pulled up outside of the club, a crowed of men stood around as usual. As soon as we stepped out of the car they all fell silent and nodded towards Christiano. I'd never stopped and actually considered what it must feel like to be so respected by so many people... I'd never had respect before, I wouldn't even know how to deal with it.As we walked into the club Christiano shut th
2 weeks later "That was terrible Gabrielle" Dom shouted from his seat at the bar. "That was the worst dance I've ever seen" "Dom I will kick your arse" Gabrielle stood at the edge of the stage, hands on her hips "Hey its not my fault you can't dance very well" he held up his hands "Dom give her a break" Sasha walked in and sat down at a booth near the center of the room "I'd like to see you hanging upside down" "what is going on?" Carly sat down on the booth next to me, passing me a glass of vodka."Dom just walked into the lions den" "poor man. Them two are crazy" she picked up her glass before taking a sip out of it"Why is everyone just sitting around?" Christino walked into a room, a group of men behind him"Dom is being mean again" Gabrielle said as she stepped off the stage grabbing her kimono and pulling it around herself. "Dom is aloud to be mean. That's his thing..plus we had this conversation before Gabrielle, you need to respect my men, they keep you and your $10, 0
Today was it. The day I get to rewrite my own love story. In a strange way I feel lucky, loosing my memories meant I get to relive them all over again... I get to fall in love again.. I get to marry him again. Not alot of people can say they've done that! I studied myself in the mirror, smoothing down the skirt of my dress. Carly messed my hair, placing jewelled clips into the braided parts before placing the veil. She stepped back, a loving look on her face. "omg V... you look amazing..." "You look amazing" I replied, walking over to her side. She was dresses in a lavender dress, her blonde hair held in a high ponytail. "Now" she began, "Are you ready?" She asked, smiling at me expectantly"Yeah... I'm ready" I replied, before heading towards the door. ----"Where are we going?" I asked Carly, worried about how long we'd been in the car. "It's a suprise!" She said excitedly."Carly I don't do well with suprises!" I said, getting nervous. "Don't worry, you'll love it" she said,
That morning I'd woke up alone, Christiano had gone to work and I was in charge of the children. Luca was easy, he just needed a fully tummy and a cosy spot and he'd sit happily, snoozing occasionally... Rosie was the opposite, she was a cheeky soul who was up for challenging me at all times. She wanted to choose what she wore, her ideal outfit was a yellow dress with purple tights and orange boots. Clearly she got her fashion sense from somewhere else. Mid morning, Luca had gone down for a nap, his face content as he dosed in his moses basket. Rosie was playing with some play dough, creating a plate for her lunch."What do you want for lunch mummy?" she asked, rolling green dough to peas. "I'll have a burger please chef!" I laughed, before flicking through the photo album. My wedding... Christiano had told me we'd had to have a rushed wedding, but we looked so in love. The next few pictures were of when Rosie was born, one of me holding her just after, one of her dressed in a fusch
Christiano I pulled up outside the hospital as I always did. In the same space I always parked in. I walked the same way, I saw the same people. But today felt different.I couldn't tell if it was a good or bad different... I just knew it felt new. As I entered his ward, I saw nurses rushing past me, panicked looks on their faces. I didn't think anything of it for a second, I thought it may have been someone else... until I saw them run to Angelo's room. I picked up my pace, quickly approaching the door to where he was. Doctors and nurses crowded around him, too many for me to see what was happening. I pushed the door open, a few nurses heads turning to look at me. Noone said anything for a moment, making my heart sink. A doctor blocked my view, but I could tell something had happened. Something had changed. "Can we get him another 20mg of morphine please" the doctor instructed a nurse, before continuing what he was doing. The nurse returned, injecting the liquid into a tube which
The next few days were strange. Overwhelmingly bizarre. When Christiano finally brought Luca and Rosie home I felt evil for not knowing them... for not loving them. But that quickly changed. Despite loosing my memory, the love you feel for your children is overbearing. It felt right, it felt good. Rosie didn't really understand why I couldn't remember her. She thought I was just being silly, playing games with her. Everytime she would run up to me, asking me weird questions, she'd stop shortly after... questions clearly running through her mind. But then she'd smile, and I knew she couldn't care less that I didn't remember. She was just happy I was there.I couldn't believe she was mine... I mean looking at Christiano you could see why she was so pretty... but she was spunky and vibrant... how Christiano described me to be... And Luca...this tiny being with bright glistening eyes was so pure... he was so tiny still, his airy brown hair beginning to grow on his head. He smiled, his
"What?" He asked, looking at me strangley "I-I don't know you." I muttered"It's me-" He began, his face now full of concern."I said I don't know who you are. Please can you leave..." I said"Vanessa, it's me, Marco." He said astonished "I don't know a Marco" I replied. "You don't remember? Anything?" He asked.I searched my head, looking for an answer. The last thing I remember was leaving home."No" I said, tears filling my eyes "Why are you looking at me- like that?" I asked, my voice breaking "I-i need to go and make a call. You rest." Marco said, before quickly leaving the room. What was happening? I don't understand... he said I knew him? I'd never met a Marco..."It's good to see your awake Mrs Acerra" a young female doctor said, as she entered the room followed by a flock of nurses. "What? My names Vanessa Diamond..." I replied, pulling my blanket closer to meThe doctor looked at the nurses, before whispering to one "page Dr Newbury..."."What's happening? Noone is tell
Christiano "No!" I cried out, as he aimed the gun at her. He froze, his eyes darting to me. "You'll get your turn" He said, smirking wildly."Please..." I mumbled. Dario looked at me with shock, before dropping his arm."What was that?" He mocked"I said... I said please. Please don't kill her. Kill me, sure... but please let her live, our children need their mother... please" I pleaded, not caring about my pride anymore. All I cared about was her, It didn't matter if I died a laughing stock... as long as I knew she was still alive, she was there for our children. "My oh my" Dario said, holding onto his heart for extra affect. "That's sweet. Really, I mean it. It almost makes me want to change my mind... but... alas..." He paused, before turning back to Vanessa. She still lay lifeless, her body in an awkward position. "Please can I atleast see my bambino's first.... can we have time together as a family?" I pleaded, hoping he'd give me enough time to think of a plan. Dario seeme
Vanessa Hindsight is a wonderful thing. Being able to look back on a situation with new knowledge that could have changed it all... It allows you to say what if? What if I'd done that differently? What if if said something else? In retrospect my life could have been so different. If I would have conformed to my mother's wishes who would I be? Would I be 'normal'? Would I be happy? Sad? Alone? I wouldn't be here that's for sure... locked in this bare room waiting for what probably will be the day I finally die. If I hadn't had gone into the club that day... would I still have met him? Was he written in my stars? Or was it just a matter of chance? Of consequence?But looking back I don't regret a thing. Yes I'm locked in a room holding onto my terrified daughter waiting for something... anything to happen. But I'd do it all over again to have the chance to love him... to marry him... to have our two beautiful children. Looking back is great... we can ask what if? But why should w
VanessaI could feel nothing. My whole body was so numb I wasn't even sure where I was.... or what was happening.Nothing made sense. People walked before me, speaking words I couldn't comprehend. I knew it was English... I know I should be able to understand... but my head felt as though it was going through a never ending spin cycle. What had he given me? Why did I feel this way? Where are my children?I watched him pace back and forth, his face amused as I sat in complete silence. He opened his mouth, noise flooding out but I couldn't understand at all. It was as though he'd turned me back into a baby... I couldn't understand, I couldn't talk or really move... He moved towards me, his hand roughly grabbing all clump of my hair, pulling my face up to meet his. He leered down at me, a menacing look in his eyes. He stayed still for a moment, before roughly dropping the hair, my head falling down clumsily. He was laughing at me. Laughing at what he'd done to me. Laughing at my incomp
2 hours earlier"Rosie it's time for bed now" I said again, as I reached the top of the stairs. "Not until daddy comes home!" She squeeled before running back into her room."Daddy isn't coming home tonight, he's got stuff to do... he'll be here when you wake up" I said, wandering into her room. She stood expectantly, her arms crossed, a pout on her face. "You know that only works on daddy" "But..." She said, making her voice shake. "Your just like your dad, you know that.." I laughed, before grabbing her pajamas off the end of the bed. "Now bed time please. Be good or when daddy comes home I'll tell him you've been naughty""I don't care" she said, rolling her eyes. "Then he won't take you on your super special secret birthday suprise..." I said, before heading towards the door."Wait!" She squeeled "If I go to bed, you won't tell daddy?" "Pinky promise" I chuckled "Ugh fine" she sighed, exactly like Angelo would. I passed her the pajamas before pulling the door shut behind me.