Sun has risen. I find out about it when the weak rays of sunlight flicker through the large window and tease my eyes. I'm lying lifelessly on the middle of the large bed of the room.
Ashar was right. I'm foolish, stupid and amateur teenager. He proved it to me last night.
This is the first ever time in my life, when I've felt suicidal. I never felt so humiliated before. Ashar took advantage of my emotionally weak state. My mind was surely malfunctioning last night that I didn't give a thought about the outcome of my decision. I forgot about his resentment for me.
His kisses and hugs were lessening my mental torments so I just let my feelings float. They were satisfying my longing desire so I gave in. I gave in on my virtue to him.
I left his room in the middle of the night before he could wake up and spent the remaining night in other room; the room that the family offered to me when they brought me to this mansion. I thought I couldn't be able to fac
Is it possible not to recognize faces when you're drunk? It doesn't even sound convincing. It's not like my features resemble to Samara. Her eye color, hair color, shape of face is different from me. Even our heights are different. I'm some inches shorter than her. No matter the substantial amount of hate Ashar deserves from me I still can't stop my heart to get sad at the realization that the sincerity, the desire I saw in Ashar's eyes that night was not for me. He couldn't just call it a mere one-night stand. It was not a one-night stand for me. No one would believe on his excuse that he didn't mean to sleep with me. He meant to sleep with Samara. The fact that he wanted to sleep with Samara is enough for me to understand what he wants. Even if I take a stand and prove somehow that he's lying, it won't change that fact. He doesn't want me in his life. So its useless to fight back. I don't want to force myself on him. I clutch the glass in my hand, s
Loud thumping of music inside the house escalates my wooziness. My head starts spinning faster, making my vision blur. I stop walking and rub my forehead. Closing my eyes for some seconds, I try to fight back with my own disoriented self. I blink my eyes open again and jerk my head. My vision gets cleared a little and things around me stop whirling. Plastering a wide smile upon my face, I amble in the middle of dance floor, mingle with the young people there. I raise my arms above my head and start swaying my bottom with the beats of the music. For the first few minutes I dance alone and don't follow any specific moves. I silence every disturbing thought and let the music to take full control of my mind and body. A random boy comes in front and we start swinging our bodies in front of each other. I laugh aloud. He put his hands on the curves of my waist, "You're hot." I grin again and dance with him for a while. When I move my gaze around the place ai
"Right. You can't trust a man." I say with a bitter voice possible, directly looking into his eyes. He let out a hiss, "Sanaya, stop thinking so low of me. I'm not...I can't..." He sighs in defeat, "Let's get back to home. It's late." He grabs my hand. I instantly pull it back, "I said I won't go with you." I grit, "Get out of my sight. I hate to even look at you." He furrows his brows, definitely getting infuriated with my stubbornness, "Sanaya, you're making me angry now. Don't provoke me." He says in a threatening tone. I can't believe party is going outside and here I'm arguing with Ashar in some closed bedroom. "It's not working. I told you I'm not scared of you." He goes to my side, "I didn't say that to scare you." He steps further and stands just behind me. Confusion grows in me. "What are-" I stop when I feel he touches my hair and slide them aside. "I said it so that..." Then I feel his lips on the area which
All three of them stop smiling as they see me. The girl who is stick to Ashar's chest steps back. I glower to both of them.Ashar looks at me. I clench my jaws at him, "Don't you want to go now?"Both despos get bemused. One of them says, "I've seen you in college.""Oh. Great." I fake a smile.I step closer to Ashar, link my arm with his. Their mouths fall open in astonishment.I turned my head to Ashar who is looking down at me with amused expressions. I put a thin-lipped smile on my face, "Can we go now?""Really?" He lifts up his brows, "Are you sure?" He asks in teasing tone.I know what's going on in his head. He would've been celebrating his victory, that he eventually convinced me to go with him.I've to accept my defeat because I can't let those sluts touch him or flirt with him at least not in front of my eyes. "Yes." I grit.His blue gaze twinkles with humor. Small, wry smile twist his lips. To my surprise he
I said in loud and clear words to Ashar that night that I liked him and he didn't even mention or talk about it for once. In case if he didn't hear it or pretending to ignore it then I swear I'll never going to repeat myself. I have my pride too.When regular class ends, I mindlessly leave the campus. Suddenly my path is blocked by those two girls who flirted with Ashar at Amelia's party. Confusion crosses my face. It's weird they found me."Elle, isn't she is the same wench who took our man?""I guess yes, Abby." She comes closer, examines my appearance.After a second or two, she srunches up her nose, "I don't get it why that crispy looking man was with her when she's no match for him?""Certainly." Her friend agrees.If they are trying to boil my blood then they are almost there. "Can you both please move aside from my way? You can bad-mouth me somewhere else."I try to walk past her, but the girl named Elle straightens her arm and
Dinner is ready. I place all the filled dishes and bowls on the kitchen counter for the servants to take them on the dinner table outside.Melanie is also there, chattering with me while scrubbing the floor. "Let's eat together tonight." She suggests.I shake my head in negative, "I can't. But yes, I can sit with you and watch you eat.""Why?" She stands upright, holding a long mop in her one hand."I told you I'm feeling nauseous nowadays so I don't want to eat.""Sanaya, you should see a doctor. It's been two weeks you're feeling this way."A middle-aged man in formal uniform enters into kitchen and starts gathering all the dishes onto the tray. He looks in my way, asking for my permission. I give him a light nod. He resumes his work."It's not something serious. Don't worry. These days a lot is going in my head." I reply to Melanie while helping the servant with his work.Melanie doesn't have a clue about what I have been go
"Honey, I'm not going to let them put that needle in me." The loud, female yelling causes me to open my eyes slowly.I blink few times to get back to my senses completely. The strong smell of medicines touches my nostrils. Astonishment trickles through me. I sit up quickly and look around. I'm in the emergency room of the hospital."Baby, it's just the small needle. It's not going to kill you." Male voice catches my attention.I turn my head, narrowing my eyes. Two nurses are standing near a female patient's bed. One of them is holding a syringe. The patient seems to be around in her mid-twenties and the man who is standing at the other side of her bed is probably her husband.The female is yelling quite loudly on the nurses, catching attention of other patients in the ward."Don't you know I'm scared of syringe?" She hollers, glaring at her husband.Her husband moves his gaze around, looking embarrassed, "Stop it, please. Everyone is lookin
I bury my face in my palms and cry, ignoring his parents' presence in the room. I didn't know his hate for me was that strong."Honey, what are we going to do now?" I hear Katherine's low voice."I don't know. I'm so confused. I knew there was something going on between them." His husband answers."Sanaya, explain everything to me." Matt demands.I uncover my face and looks at him with watery eyes, "I'm not lying. Do you want me to abort the baby? Please give me some time to think about it.""Why my son is denying?" Katherine comes forward."I don't know. Believe me, I'm telling the truth." I implore, sniffling.I think about Samara. Where is she? Did she know about it already? If she'll find out, she will surely fill up Ashar's mind against me again.Matt rubs his forehead, "Let your baby born.""What?" I thought I misheard him."I think you're right." Katherine agrees, looking at me. My brows furrow in bewilderm
Sighing in exasperation, I allow Zoya to do what her daddy has said. I stand on my feet and sit on the bed. Curiosity is bubbling up in me. I want to know what both of them are doing secretly. I'll be mad at Ashar if he has changed his plan of coming here. I mean, I have prepared dinner for him, even got ready for him and he's not coming here. It has been a week since I last saw him and seems like he didn't miss me. He didn't even sound excited on call while talking to me and here I'm being so eager to see him, hear him. I sit on my bed for like ten minutes all alone and try to think of Ashar's reasons when finally my doorbell rings. Maybe Zoya is back. I'm going to get all the details from her. I pull opened the door and become startled when I witness Ashar instead of Zoya. My mind forgets all complains and anger in a swift and I feel myself lose into a trance. In blue slim fit jeans, white striped shirt and a black jacket on it, he's looking dropped
Mutually Ashar and I have decided to arrange a small wedding at the Church and invite only few people like his family and my friends. We have to get married properly this time in order to get rid of all the confusions. Ashar have also asked the lawyer to renew our marriage papers also. After that he will publicly disclose our marriage.The wedding date right now is indecisive. We have planned to discuss on it after he'll be back from his business trip. He said the trip is important so he has to go, but he has promised me he'll be back in a week this time.In his absence I get a chance to spend some time with his family, even went for a baby shopping with Estella. She's so excited about her first baby that she has planned to buy all the stuff for the new-born on her own. She invited me to go with her. Katherine and Matt also gave me a warm welcome after that party and told me stories of Zoya and how they took care of her altogether.I'm surprised but above
I turn straight and slowly open my eyes. Looking here and there, I acknowledge the different environment around me. Soon everything comes back to my mind and I rise to sitting position. I notice a quilt covering me and I'm still on Ashar's sofa. "How long did I sleep?" I ask to myself, settling my hair through my fingers. "Three hours." Ashar enters into the room, looks at me, crossing his arms on his chest. "Uh?" I react in bewilderment. He has changed his clothes from tux to checkered loose trouser and crew neckline, maroon, plain tee shirt. His hair are ruffled and some of the locks are falling over on his forehead. "You've been sleeping here since three hours." "What?" I widen my eyes and immediately stand up, getting rid of the quilt. My legs are now much better, "You should've woken me up. I only thought to get a quick nap until you'll be free. Where's Zoya?" He laughs, walking towards me, "Don't worry. She's with Mom." H
Times changes, so does people, so does our situations. They realize they were wrong as they become more mature with time. A bad person doesn't always remain bad. We should appreciate him if he musters courage to apologize and repent for his mistakes with a thought that you're not a saint either.That's what I've learnt from my experience. I've decided to let go of every bad memory of my past life and start over; give myself another chance and also to Ashar. Besides, Ashar have already compensated for his mistakes by looking after my daughter all alone, by living as my husband for more than three years."What exactly you were thinking? Why did you turn off your phone?" I breath out.Ashar draws his brows together as he frowns at me. His hands are still hiding in his pockets. He's in plain formal wear, looking clean cut and fresh. His hair are perfectly combed towards his side. My stomach twists. Just a look of him takes away all of my worries and glistens my eyes
After five hours long flight, I land to my home city. Zoya is bored and haggard due to the long journey, but she's not complaining. She knows we are going to see her father.I don't know whether my decision is right or not of coming here and leaving everything behind. I started a new life in another state, but I left it with a thought that I want to stay away from Ashar and his family, but now I don't have to.Even if I and Ashar won't work out, still I don't have to leave this place. I want to live in New York. Through my contacts, I have already managed to find a place for myself and Zoya so I have decided to first go there, put our baggage there and change our clothes into comfortable ones and then I'll go to his house; Hobsons' Mansion.I jump inside the subway with Zoya and get settled on the vacant chair.I snake my arms around Zoya's shoulder. She scoots closer and put her head on my chest, "Sleep for a while, Sweetheart. You look tired."Sh
I thought a lot. I took two whole days to decide what I should do next; whether I should go after him and apologize or just leave the things the way they are right now.I'm scared and too ashamed to face him after ruthlessly pushing him out of my life. I know his whereabouts, his office, his home address, but still unable to muster audacity to apologize to him.I'm afraid of his anger, his rejection that he won't forgive me and tell me that he wants to stick to his decision. However I tried calling him, but his phone was switched off and that thing demotivated me.Zoya kept on pestering me with her questions like; where's daddy, when are you going to take me to him and why he's not taking my calls. I'm tired of making excuses to her and I guess she now smells a rat."Are you sure with your decision?" Carol whispers a question in my ear.I give her a side glance, nodding my head, "Yes. I'll leave after the wedding."She's about to say somethi
I was doing painting with Zoya when I heard the doorbell. I get out of the bed and instruct her, "You stay here. I'll be back."I took a half day from work, thought of spending some time with my daughter. I have to spend more time with her in order to hide the truth about Ashar. I don't know for how long I could conceal it from her that her daddy is not going to talk to him.I open the door. My eyes widen to its full length when I see that woman who had turned my life upside down, standing on my doorway.Samara steps inside my house, "Hi, Sanaya. Long time no see." She looks around, "Your place is nice and warm.""How dare you." I mutter.Anger begins pulsing through me to the extent that I feel I'm going to burst into flames any minute."Nah. That's not how you welcome a guest to your house." She shakes her head, giving me a warm smile."You're not a welcomed guest." I snap aloud."How have you been? It's been ages." She ignor
I further open the door to get a full view of the scene. Samara steps forward to him. Ashar understands her gesture so he opens his arms. They both hug each other."I wanted to surprise you and see your reaction." She smiles against his shoulder.Blood drains from my face. My head starts spinning to the level that I start seeing two of them.Both of them are so lost in each other that they don't even notice my presence when I enter in Ashar's office.They are still close, still together. The woman who started everything, who ruined my whole life is looking so happy in his arms. Was she in contact with him the whole time Ashar was with me? Was Ashar fooling me or what? That thought trembles my heart in fear."I'm glad to see you." Ashar pats her back.They both pull back and smile to each other.Samara's hands remain on Ashar's chest, "Why are you looking so pale? Don't you eat properly or you're working too much?"Ashar c
The fact that bothers me the most is that Ashar all by himself raised Zoya for three years. This is the biggest surprise for me so far. It shows his persistence towards his goal that he keeps on repeating to me that he wants to unite his family.After knowing all of his reasons, I'm still failed to move on or start over because the fears inside control me.Every time I think of calling him or thinking to talk about our marriage, the flashbacks of his vicious behavior begins crossing in my head and stops me to take a further step.I'm sitting on my office desk and staring at my computer screen. These days I can't much concentrate on my work.I minimize the document opened on my computer and go to a search engine. I think of searching about Matt Hobsons. If he had a serious illness then it was certain news media would've talked about it. I would get more information about him and get an idea how Ashar would've went through that time.I was right. As