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90. Is it Me?
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2022-03-12 02:25:21The fact that bothers me the most is that Ashar all by himself raised Zoya for three years. This is the biggest surprise for me so far. It shows his persistence towards his goal that he keeps on repeating to me that he wants to unite his family.
After knowing all of his reasons, I'm still failed to move on or start over because the fears inside control me.
Every time I think of calling him or thinking to talk about our marriage, the flashbacks of his vicious behavior begins crossing in my head and stops me to take a further step.
I'm sitting on my office desk and staring at my computer screen. These days I can't much concentrate on my work.
I minimize the document opened on my computer and go to a search engine. I think of searching about Matt Hobsons. If he had a serious illness then it was certain news media would've talked about it. I would get more information about him and get an idea how Ashar would've went through that time.
I was right. As
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Am I married? 91. Trust Broken
I further open the door to get a full view of the scene. Samara steps forward to him. Ashar understands her gesture so he opens his arms. They both hug each other."I wanted to surprise you and see your reaction." She smiles against his shoulder.Blood drains from my face. My head starts spinning to the level that I start seeing two of them.Both of them are so lost in each other that they don't even notice my presence when I enter in Ashar's office.They are still close, still together. The woman who started everything, who ruined my whole life is looking so happy in his arms. Was she in contact with him the whole time Ashar was with me? Was Ashar fooling me or what? That thought trembles my heart in fear."I'm glad to see you." Ashar pats her back.They both pull back and smile to each other.Samara's hands remain on Ashar's chest, "Why are you looking so pale? Don't you eat properly or you're working too much?"Ashar c
Last Updated : 2022-03-12Am I married? 92. The Painful Realization
I was doing painting with Zoya when I heard the doorbell. I get out of the bed and instruct her, "You stay here. I'll be back."I took a half day from work, thought of spending some time with my daughter. I have to spend more time with her in order to hide the truth about Ashar. I don't know for how long I could conceal it from her that her daddy is not going to talk to him.I open the door. My eyes widen to its full length when I see that woman who had turned my life upside down, standing on my doorway.Samara steps inside my house, "Hi, Sanaya. Long time no see." She looks around, "Your place is nice and warm.""How dare you." I mutter.Anger begins pulsing through me to the extent that I feel I'm going to burst into flames any minute."Nah. That's not how you welcome a guest to your house." She shakes her head, giving me a warm smile."You're not a welcomed guest." I snap aloud."How have you been? It's been ages." She ignor
Last Updated : 2022-03-12Am I married? 93. The Friend's Wedding
I thought a lot. I took two whole days to decide what I should do next; whether I should go after him and apologize or just leave the things the way they are right now.I'm scared and too ashamed to face him after ruthlessly pushing him out of my life. I know his whereabouts, his office, his home address, but still unable to muster audacity to apologize to him.I'm afraid of his anger, his rejection that he won't forgive me and tell me that he wants to stick to his decision. However I tried calling him, but his phone was switched off and that thing demotivated me.Zoya kept on pestering me with her questions like; where's daddy, when are you going to take me to him and why he's not taking my calls. I'm tired of making excuses to her and I guess she now smells a rat."Are you sure with your decision?" Carol whispers a question in my ear.I give her a side glance, nodding my head, "Yes. I'll leave after the wedding."She's about to say somethi
Last Updated : 2022-03-12Am I married? 94. Back to the Mansion
After five hours long flight, I land to my home city. Zoya is bored and haggard due to the long journey, but she's not complaining. She knows we are going to see her father.I don't know whether my decision is right or not of coming here and leaving everything behind. I started a new life in another state, but I left it with a thought that I want to stay away from Ashar and his family, but now I don't have to.Even if I and Ashar won't work out, still I don't have to leave this place. I want to live in New York. Through my contacts, I have already managed to find a place for myself and Zoya so I have decided to first go there, put our baggage there and change our clothes into comfortable ones and then I'll go to his house; Hobsons' Mansion.I jump inside the subway with Zoya and get settled on the vacant chair.I snake my arms around Zoya's shoulder. She scoots closer and put her head on my chest, "Sleep for a while, Sweetheart. You look tired."Sh
Last Updated : 2022-03-12Am I married? 95. The Reconciliation
Times changes, so does people, so does our situations. They realize they were wrong as they become more mature with time. A bad person doesn't always remain bad. We should appreciate him if he musters courage to apologize and repent for his mistakes with a thought that you're not a saint either.That's what I've learnt from my experience. I've decided to let go of every bad memory of my past life and start over; give myself another chance and also to Ashar. Besides, Ashar have already compensated for his mistakes by looking after my daughter all alone, by living as my husband for more than three years."What exactly you were thinking? Why did you turn off your phone?" I breath out.Ashar draws his brows together as he frowns at me. His hands are still hiding in his pockets. He's in plain formal wear, looking clean cut and fresh. His hair are perfectly combed towards his side. My stomach twists. Just a look of him takes away all of my worries and glistens my eyes
Last Updated : 2022-03-12Am I married? 96. The Three Conditions
I turn straight and slowly open my eyes. Looking here and there, I acknowledge the different environment around me. Soon everything comes back to my mind and I rise to sitting position. I notice a quilt covering me and I'm still on Ashar's sofa. "How long did I sleep?" I ask to myself, settling my hair through my fingers. "Three hours." Ashar enters into the room, looks at me, crossing his arms on his chest. "Uh?" I react in bewilderment. He has changed his clothes from tux to checkered loose trouser and crew neckline, maroon, plain tee shirt. His hair are ruffled and some of the locks are falling over on his forehead. "You've been sleeping here since three hours." "What?" I widen my eyes and immediately stand up, getting rid of the quilt. My legs are now much better, "You should've woken me up. I only thought to get a quick nap until you'll be free. Where's Zoya?" He laughs, walking towards me, "Don't worry. She's with Mom." H
Last Updated : 2022-03-12Am I married? Epilogue
Mutually Ashar and I have decided to arrange a small wedding at the Church and invite only few people like his family and my friends. We have to get married properly this time in order to get rid of all the confusions. Ashar have also asked the lawyer to renew our marriage papers also. After that he will publicly disclose our marriage.The wedding date right now is indecisive. We have planned to discuss on it after he'll be back from his business trip. He said the trip is important so he has to go, but he has promised me he'll be back in a week this time.In his absence I get a chance to spend some time with his family, even went for a baby shopping with Estella. She's so excited about her first baby that she has planned to buy all the stuff for the new-born on her own. She invited me to go with her. Katherine and Matt also gave me a warm welcome after that party and told me stories of Zoya and how they took care of her altogether.I'm surprised but above
Last Updated : 2022-03-12Am I married? Epilogue (Cont...)
Sighing in exasperation, I allow Zoya to do what her daddy has said. I stand on my feet and sit on the bed. Curiosity is bubbling up in me. I want to know what both of them are doing secretly. I'll be mad at Ashar if he has changed his plan of coming here. I mean, I have prepared dinner for him, even got ready for him and he's not coming here. It has been a week since I last saw him and seems like he didn't miss me. He didn't even sound excited on call while talking to me and here I'm being so eager to see him, hear him. I sit on my bed for like ten minutes all alone and try to think of Ashar's reasons when finally my doorbell rings. Maybe Zoya is back. I'm going to get all the details from her. I pull opened the door and become startled when I witness Ashar instead of Zoya. My mind forgets all complains and anger in a swift and I feel myself lose into a trance. In blue slim fit jeans, white striped shirt and a black jacket on it, he's looking dropped
Last Updated : 2022-03-12
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Am I married? Epilogue (Cont...)
Sighing in exasperation, I allow Zoya to do what her daddy has said. I stand on my feet and sit on the bed. Curiosity is bubbling up in me. I want to know what both of them are doing secretly. I'll be mad at Ashar if he has changed his plan of coming here. I mean, I have prepared dinner for him, even got ready for him and he's not coming here. It has been a week since I last saw him and seems like he didn't miss me. He didn't even sound excited on call while talking to me and here I'm being so eager to see him, hear him. I sit on my bed for like ten minutes all alone and try to think of Ashar's reasons when finally my doorbell rings. Maybe Zoya is back. I'm going to get all the details from her. I pull opened the door and become startled when I witness Ashar instead of Zoya. My mind forgets all complains and anger in a swift and I feel myself lose into a trance. In blue slim fit jeans, white striped shirt and a black jacket on it, he's looking dropped
Am I married? Epilogue
Mutually Ashar and I have decided to arrange a small wedding at the Church and invite only few people like his family and my friends. We have to get married properly this time in order to get rid of all the confusions. Ashar have also asked the lawyer to renew our marriage papers also. After that he will publicly disclose our marriage.The wedding date right now is indecisive. We have planned to discuss on it after he'll be back from his business trip. He said the trip is important so he has to go, but he has promised me he'll be back in a week this time.In his absence I get a chance to spend some time with his family, even went for a baby shopping with Estella. She's so excited about her first baby that she has planned to buy all the stuff for the new-born on her own. She invited me to go with her. Katherine and Matt also gave me a warm welcome after that party and told me stories of Zoya and how they took care of her altogether.I'm surprised but above
Am I married? 96. The Three Conditions
I turn straight and slowly open my eyes. Looking here and there, I acknowledge the different environment around me. Soon everything comes back to my mind and I rise to sitting position. I notice a quilt covering me and I'm still on Ashar's sofa. "How long did I sleep?" I ask to myself, settling my hair through my fingers. "Three hours." Ashar enters into the room, looks at me, crossing his arms on his chest. "Uh?" I react in bewilderment. He has changed his clothes from tux to checkered loose trouser and crew neckline, maroon, plain tee shirt. His hair are ruffled and some of the locks are falling over on his forehead. "You've been sleeping here since three hours." "What?" I widen my eyes and immediately stand up, getting rid of the quilt. My legs are now much better, "You should've woken me up. I only thought to get a quick nap until you'll be free. Where's Zoya?" He laughs, walking towards me, "Don't worry. She's with Mom." H
Am I married? 95. The Reconciliation
Times changes, so does people, so does our situations. They realize they were wrong as they become more mature with time. A bad person doesn't always remain bad. We should appreciate him if he musters courage to apologize and repent for his mistakes with a thought that you're not a saint either.That's what I've learnt from my experience. I've decided to let go of every bad memory of my past life and start over; give myself another chance and also to Ashar. Besides, Ashar have already compensated for his mistakes by looking after my daughter all alone, by living as my husband for more than three years."What exactly you were thinking? Why did you turn off your phone?" I breath out.Ashar draws his brows together as he frowns at me. His hands are still hiding in his pockets. He's in plain formal wear, looking clean cut and fresh. His hair are perfectly combed towards his side. My stomach twists. Just a look of him takes away all of my worries and glistens my eyes
Am I married? 94. Back to the Mansion
After five hours long flight, I land to my home city. Zoya is bored and haggard due to the long journey, but she's not complaining. She knows we are going to see her father.I don't know whether my decision is right or not of coming here and leaving everything behind. I started a new life in another state, but I left it with a thought that I want to stay away from Ashar and his family, but now I don't have to.Even if I and Ashar won't work out, still I don't have to leave this place. I want to live in New York. Through my contacts, I have already managed to find a place for myself and Zoya so I have decided to first go there, put our baggage there and change our clothes into comfortable ones and then I'll go to his house; Hobsons' Mansion.I jump inside the subway with Zoya and get settled on the vacant chair.I snake my arms around Zoya's shoulder. She scoots closer and put her head on my chest, "Sleep for a while, Sweetheart. You look tired."Sh
Am I married? 93. The Friend's Wedding
I thought a lot. I took two whole days to decide what I should do next; whether I should go after him and apologize or just leave the things the way they are right now.I'm scared and too ashamed to face him after ruthlessly pushing him out of my life. I know his whereabouts, his office, his home address, but still unable to muster audacity to apologize to him.I'm afraid of his anger, his rejection that he won't forgive me and tell me that he wants to stick to his decision. However I tried calling him, but his phone was switched off and that thing demotivated me.Zoya kept on pestering me with her questions like; where's daddy, when are you going to take me to him and why he's not taking my calls. I'm tired of making excuses to her and I guess she now smells a rat."Are you sure with your decision?" Carol whispers a question in my ear.I give her a side glance, nodding my head, "Yes. I'll leave after the wedding."She's about to say somethi
Am I married? 92. The Painful Realization
I was doing painting with Zoya when I heard the doorbell. I get out of the bed and instruct her, "You stay here. I'll be back."I took a half day from work, thought of spending some time with my daughter. I have to spend more time with her in order to hide the truth about Ashar. I don't know for how long I could conceal it from her that her daddy is not going to talk to him.I open the door. My eyes widen to its full length when I see that woman who had turned my life upside down, standing on my doorway.Samara steps inside my house, "Hi, Sanaya. Long time no see." She looks around, "Your place is nice and warm.""How dare you." I mutter.Anger begins pulsing through me to the extent that I feel I'm going to burst into flames any minute."Nah. That's not how you welcome a guest to your house." She shakes her head, giving me a warm smile."You're not a welcomed guest." I snap aloud."How have you been? It's been ages." She ignor
Am I married? 91. Trust Broken
I further open the door to get a full view of the scene. Samara steps forward to him. Ashar understands her gesture so he opens his arms. They both hug each other."I wanted to surprise you and see your reaction." She smiles against his shoulder.Blood drains from my face. My head starts spinning to the level that I start seeing two of them.Both of them are so lost in each other that they don't even notice my presence when I enter in Ashar's office.They are still close, still together. The woman who started everything, who ruined my whole life is looking so happy in his arms. Was she in contact with him the whole time Ashar was with me? Was Ashar fooling me or what? That thought trembles my heart in fear."I'm glad to see you." Ashar pats her back.They both pull back and smile to each other.Samara's hands remain on Ashar's chest, "Why are you looking so pale? Don't you eat properly or you're working too much?"Ashar c
Am I married? 90. Is it Me?
The fact that bothers me the most is that Ashar all by himself raised Zoya for three years. This is the biggest surprise for me so far. It shows his persistence towards his goal that he keeps on repeating to me that he wants to unite his family.After knowing all of his reasons, I'm still failed to move on or start over because the fears inside control me.Every time I think of calling him or thinking to talk about our marriage, the flashbacks of his vicious behavior begins crossing in my head and stops me to take a further step.I'm sitting on my office desk and staring at my computer screen. These days I can't much concentrate on my work.I minimize the document opened on my computer and go to a search engine. I think of searching about Matt Hobsons. If he had a serious illness then it was certain news media would've talked about it. I would get more information about him and get an idea how Ashar would've went through that time.I was right. As
