Landon was just asking Jamie if she wanted to go out with him when Mo comes barelling from the front door with few paper bags in her hands. I sit and hit pause. Shane West and Mandy Moore froze.
“Guess who’s back from a shopping trip with her future mother in-law?” she exclaims. She drops those bags on the floor and plops down the other side of the couch. Dreamy sigh leaves her pink-tinted lips.I know with one thousand percent of certainty that this was not her first time doing shopping with Tom’s mother. But she always come home like this anyway; sated and happy.“How’s your day?” she asks. Looking at me, my state of dressing, and the stilled scene on the screen, she chastises, “Don’t tell me you’ve been vegging out on this couch all day.” An even scowl replaces her smiley face.I feign hurt, clasping my hands over my chest. “How cruel of you to think about me like that!”She rolls her eyes at my antic. A flower-printed cushion comes flying my way. I catch it before it make contact with my face. “Stop being so dramatic. What are you doing home at this hour?”“It’s still eleven in the morning, future Mrs. Thomas Henry Clarke the third,” I counter, pointing at the clock. “Look who’s the dramatic one now.”Her eyes follows. Morwenna have the audacity of looking sheepish after she realizes her fault. She giggles. “Sorry.”The flower-printed cushion fly back at her.I continue my favorite movie as she gets settle. “You, my friend, are one beautiful, rich but boring girl.”Ain’t that the truth, my friend, ain’t that the truth.****“That’s my baby girl,” I hear Dad’s voice booms through the foyer as Mo and I walk through the front door. “Happy birthday, sweetheart.” He envelopes me in his embrace.Feeling emotional, I hug him back as tight. He always have the best hug.From behind him, I see Mo giving me a wave and keep walking to the kitchen. Dad kisses my temple, then realeses me while still holding me at arm length. “I can’t believe you’re twenty four now. It seems like it was just yesterday when I first hold you in my arms--”“This tiny pink bundle of joy,” Adrian completes Dad’s sentence. He climbs down the stairs leisurely, hands in his pockets. “You always said that, Dad.”Dad looks up at him and shrugs, then he look back at me with so much love. “And she will always be my baby girl.”How can I not be a Daddy’s girl?“Thank you, Daddy.” I stand on my toes and kiss his cheek.Adrian shakes his head at Dad. “Come here, Bug. My turn now.” He opens his arms.“I don’t know, Bud, you didn’t text me on my birthday,” I reply with my hands across my chest, but keep on walking to him.“I’m sorry,” he says, regret in his voice. “I have tons of work at the west coast office this week. But I’m here now.”Adrian’s hug is the second best.“I know.” I hug him tight. “And thank you.” We let go and he kisses my temple.“Ask me anything as your present this year.”“No, it’s fine. I got what I want here.”As if on cue, Mom appears. “My Sweet!” she exclaims.Soon I’m engulfed in the cloud of Channel no. 5 she’d used for as long as I remember. She realeses me, teary-eyed. “Happy birthday, Sweety. I can’t believe you’re all grown up now.”Dad step behind her and place a hand around her hip. “We’re so proud of you, Sweetheart.”Seeing my parents, the way they hold, love each other, the way they love and nurture us, I know I luck out. To be born in this family, to have them as my family.“Group hug!”My parents’ laughs and Adrian’s groan fills the room.****Nate : *Morning, beautiful*Bryanna : *Nate?*Nate : *I like that we already nicknamed each other*Nate : *You busy today?*Bryanna : *It seems unlikely, but I don’t know.*Bryanna : *Things could come up. Why?*Nate : *Just want to make that another time real.*Bryanna : *Already?*Nate : *If that’s okay. Sorry if I come out strong.*Bryanna : *Nonono, it’s okay, for real.*Bryanna : *I’m just really bad at this.*Nate : *This? What is this?*Bryanna : *This flirting?*Bryanna : *I don’t have many experience in dating, so I’m kinda rusty.*Bryanna : *Am I suppose to say that?*Bryanna : *Omg I already ruin this.*Bryanna : *Now I'm freaking out*Nate : *Hey, it’s fine. You can say that.*Nate : *How about tonight?*Nate : *I have a gig at Stewart’s.*Nate : *We can hangout after.*Nate : *We’re just two people getting to know each other, no need to overthink.*Bryanna : *Sorry. I’m embarassing myself*Nate : *So tonight?*Bryanna : *Yeah I like that.*Nate : *Okay, then.*Nate : *See ya there, beautiful.*Bryanna : *See you, Nate.*****After sending the last text, I run to Mo’s door and start pounding. “It’s too early, Bry.” Tom’s voice is heard from inside. “Give us an hour.”“I’m sorry, Tom, but I don’t care. It’s emergency. I need my best friend now.”A lot of whispers, grumbles and giggles before the said door open revealing Mo’s ruffled appearence. “What now?”I pull her to my room, toss her my phone then hid myself under the cover, pillow above my head.Morwenna can’t hold her laughter after she read my text convo with Nate seconds later. “You are really rusty, Bry.”“Stop it,” I groan from beneath the pillow. “I’m dying here.”“Yeah, me too. I can feel your face burning from up here.” She tosses the pillow. “Sit.”I can’t believe she order me like a dog. No, scratch that. I BELIEVE it.I sit, palms covering my face. “Mo, kill me now,” I whine.Morwenna reaches for my hands and hold it with hers. “You really like him, don’t you?”The way she ask tells me that she knows what I’m feeling. I already told you I don’t usually date, I wasn’t easily attracted to every guy I met. It wasn’t every day I give time and effort to a guy I barely know.To answer her rhetorical question, I shrug. “I want to know more about him. He seems like a really nice guy.”“Yeah?” Mo wiggles her brows. “And not to mention he get the whole aspiring artist vibe. And nice package.”“Gross.”“Not.”I roll my eyes.“But seriously, Bry, if you find him attractive then maybe you should follow your heart. Give him and yourself a chance. Waiting for the right man is good, but you won’t know he’s right until you get to know him. Right?” Mo swats the air with her right palm. “Gah, look how many rights I used just know. And to think my fiance is an editor.”I roll my eyes at her, again.“Speaking of the right man.” She stands. “I’m going to come back to my man and get my fill.” She wiggles her brows again. “While you,” her finger touches my nose lightly, “Prepare yourself before you grab your man.” She ends her monologue with a wink.Then she sashays out of my room, closes the door behind her, leaving me to my thoughts.I like Nate.Wow.I like Nate.****I stand in front of the tall mirror in my room. In a black halter top, dark-washed high-waisted skinny jeans, and my peep-toe black suede booties, face painted with natural look--because I don’t want to give a wrong vibe, I feel excited. I can’t remember when was the last time I dressed up for a date. Or hanging out with a guy, in this case. Whatever.I grab my cobalt suede fringe jacket before heading out. Closing the door, I find Mo and Tom curls up on the sofa watching a movie. “Someone’s ready to kill tonight,” Tom whistles.“You look good,” Mo says on approval. “I like this waves. And the outfits.” She eyes me from top to bottom and nods.“I like it too,” I replay, grinning. “I hope it’s not too much.”“Nah, girl, you’re perfect.” She untangles herself from Tom and stands to smooch my temple. “I feel like a proud momma sending her daughter to her first prom.” She fake wipes her eyes.Tom shakes his head at her antic. “Darling, let the girl be.” He pulls her down. “You’ll be fine,
Unsurprisingly, nothing can steady the butterflies in my belly and the heady feeling that kiss left me with until this morning. I have to admit that after getting on my bed, I couldn’t stop reliving that kiss over and over again, even my dream. Hence my good mood though I didn’t sleep that long.Or, that well. Wink! His kiss, oh my God, his kiss was soooo good I can still taste it on my lips. How Nate stirred my feelings with only his tongue. I cannot imagine what will happen to me if we ever go further than that. I will be doomed, of that I’m sure. But, it will be a good way to go, right? To die in the arms of your loved ones. To die in pleasure. To die in love. Ah, in love. I can’t wait to– “Bug, wake up! I brought your joe and cupcakes!” Yummy! There's coffee! And ... Wait, what? Isn’t that Adrian’s voice? He is in my apartment? Why is he in my apartment? What did he just say? Joe? Cupcakes? Wait, wait, wait. Cupcakes. Cupcakes! “Coming!” I shout from behind my bedroom doo
My confusion and anger comes to the surface again right after I finish one more cupcake and my caramel macchiato. Don’t laugh. It’s like my body knows what I need so it urged me to feed on some energy before prosecuting what my heart want. Probably twenty minutes behind Adrian’s departure, I put the remaining cupcakes in the fridge and head straight to shower. I have one mission and I want to get my hand on it as fast as I can. I cannot wait to tell Lincoln what’s on my mind. I cannot wait to tell him to shove his unneeded judgement to where the sun don’t shine. An hour later—God, I hate driving in this city—I charge into Stewart’s, having no care about the closed sign on the door. I know he is here. He must be. There’s no other place Lincoln will be but here.The brightly lit room welcomes me. But the broody butthole behind the bar? Not so much. Lincoln stares me down like he doesn’t have any idea what I am doing here. Well, maybe he doesn’t, but it is just because he didn’t kno
I drive home in a daze, my mind keeps replaying Lincoln’s sad eyes. And each time, the feeling in my stomach worsen. Now after everything was out, I begin to think that maybe I over-reacted. Maybe Lincoln was just looking out for me. Maybe he thought of me as his little sister he should protect. Maybe Adrian was right. Oh, God ....But, no! He doesn't deserve my guilt. After ... after that, he doesn't deserve anything from me.Damn it! Why do I have this conflicting feelings?I bang my head to the headrest, hoping the hurt will distract me from this gnawing feeling I feel within. I couldn’t find any satisfaction I thought I would feel. When everything is said and done, what was left is–A vibrating sound interrupts my train of thoughts. I glance at the lit up screen before turn left and lead my car to the assigned parking lot. I unlock my phone.Nate : wanna hangout tonight?Joy instantly kicks the worry out of my head and fulfills the space inside the car. My heart begins to race in
I wonder how many times a heart can break until it could not be repair again.I got my first hit today. It was when the only girl I ever loved told me I didn’t have any say in her business. She told me to stay away from her life. She told me to stay away from her. Believe me I tried. I really did. Beside, at that time, I didn’t want to have an intimate meeting with Adrian’s right hook. He has a mean one, even back then. But, this wasn’t a problem anymore. Nothing get past my best friend. He was—and still is—observant to a fault. I still remember the day when he outed me. I chuckles to the thought. Fuck, did I really think I could hide something this big from him? That night freshmen year in college, we were at a beach. Although we were new, we always got invited to any upperclassmen parties because of his and my dad’s names. Adrian was making the best out of it. Me? Nah. I was busy pining a certain brunette back at home. “The fuck, Bro?” drawls Adrian. He is pissed drunk. “Yeah,
“And then he was grabing my hair. And ... and ... he cupped my face. He kissed my jaw, my ear, my neck. I lose my grip in reality because of his touch. Oh ... my ... God.” I suddenly sit up. “We kissed in the middle of Gonner's crowded dance floor. I can’t believe I did that!"My Korean face mask plops down on my lap like a used wet tissue because of my sudden movement. I pick it up and resume my position beside Mo, mindlessly putting the mask back on my face again. It’s okay, five minutes rule apply to face mask too.I continue my story. “But that kiss, that kiss, Mo ... hands down. It was the. Best. Kiss. I’ve. Ever. Had. In. My. Life! It’s like he took some classes for mastering the artrt of kissing somewhere. Or maybe he was just had a lot, I mean, practice. But, I don’t care. I was the one he was kissing last night. I hope I will be the one in the future too,” I describe everything that happened last night until I am out of breath and out off my mind thinking about Nate’s lips on
I hope to heaven my Lyft will be the only thing canceled this afternoon. I order a new one and enter Adrian’s address. Then I can’t call Nate’s number fast enough. Looking at the clock on the screen, I see it’s just three twenty nine. He shouldn’t be on his way to Stewart’s right now.Fingers crossed I don’t have to let my kiss go. Please, please, please, pick up, pick up, my heart chants as the call connects. Nate picks on the third ring. “Bryanna?”“Yes, it’s Bryanna,” I confirm. Who would have thought answering a phone call with question will be a trend today? “Eh, sorry.” He chuckles. “I didn’t expect your call.”“Yeah, me too.” I curse Adrian in my mind. “But my brother just called. He went out of the country and asked me to dogwatch. So ....” I trail off, not sure how to say what’s on my mind.“So what, Beautiful?”“Hm, so ... if you don’t mind, would you like to come to his apartment instead of meeting me atStewart’s? I have to stay there because my building didn’t allow pet.
Detaching his lips, Nate says, “I waited all day to do that.”“Yeah?” My voice is hoarse from the kiss.He kisses me again as an answer.We do this for awhile, a long while, and I still could do it longer if not for the fact that we need to breathe. Drawing out, I inhale deeply before starting another round. Kissing him is officially my number one favorite activity to do right now.I can feel his lips twitch with his usual cocky smirk and taste the satisfaction in his tongue. He likes the way I reacted to his kiss. He likes it that I like his touch. “Nate,” I moan his name.He chuckles. “What do you want, Beautiful?” He asks on my lips.I want you. I want you so bad. I want you, like, yesterday. But, I couldn’t say that out loud. I recall one of Morwenna’s advice she deemed is the keys to a successful dating. ‘Push and pull, Bry. Know when to push and how to pull. The art of this push and pull is what will lure him. And remember, don’t show all your cards.’Well, it’s too late to hide
What's happening to me?It is not until I hear the familiar voice of Nurse what's-her-name that my hard-beating heart slows down.Holy moly, Batman. I'm a mess."Oh, hey. You must be the baby daddy. Glad to see you," she greets with her cheery voice.Before I can turn on my back and swat that statements away to hell, Linc chimes in, "Hi. Nice to meet you. I'm Lincoln."What in the actual hell? I sit up too fast and get myself a whiplash.Shit."Whoa, whoa, slow down, honey." The nurse suddenly stood beside me and holds me on the forearm. "Didn't think you'll be so excited to see me," she jests, trying to make it light.The giant prick snickers.I try to send a glare at him discreetly but fail miserably when Nurse—I glance at her tag—Laura eyes us back and forth. "Everything alright, honey?" she asks as she checks up on my vital."Yeah," I croak, "everything is fine.""I guess so." She writes something on the paper she brought with her. "And, please, lay low for a while, yeah? No inten
What the hell is he doing here? Who do he think he is showing up in my room after ALL that he did? And, yeah, I really mean ALL OF IT.The nerve of this freaking prick."Sweetheart, is everything okay?"Dad's voice break through the fog of disdain that coated my brain, but, still, it takes a while for the question to truly register. I shift my eyes from the big, uninvited, and unwelcomed guy that now standing near my bed to my parents.And, it's not a surprise to see confusion painting their faces. Because of course they didn't know. And I don't want them to ever know about what had happened between me and the guy who they think of as their own son beside Adrian.Don't ask. I personally don't know why I'm still trying to keep this as a secret from them. Either I want to keep my name, or ....Don't. Don't go there.I shouldn't think like that way. I shouldn't think about it anymore.This is all his fault.But I can do nothing about it in front of mom and dad. "Yeah, yeah, Daddy. Everyth
What the fuck did he just say?What. The. Fuck?"What the fuck, Linc? You're not listening?" protests Adrian.Yep, you see that right. The very best friend who had ghosted me for this past months is now drinking my liquor like it's fresh water and he's been stranded on the Sahara.I should have known when I saw his ass walking in from the door that he wasn't bearing any good news. I should have known when I saw him and he just waved his hand asking for a drink. I should have known.When the most stubborn prick on the planet shows up at your bar after punching your mug ugly, giving you silent treatment for months, you know something is wrong.And it really is. Terribly, fucking devastatingly wrong."Slow down, man. You want to knock yourself out or something?" I warn, reaching for the bottle he is gripping so hard like a lifeline.He swats my palm. Hard. Fuck, that hurts."Yeah, yeah. I wanna do that so baaad," he slurs. He then chuckles. "You realize how funny it was? I'm trying to kno
I can't. I can't do this anymore.My body is so weak. There's nothing left to be released from my belly, but my throat don't get the memo and keeps on constricting. Dry heaving is sooo draining.With shaky legs, with the last strength I have in me, I drag my body out of the bathroom and reach for my phone on the bedside table.I can't do this alone.I can't if I want my baby safe.I can't if I want to safe me too.The call is still connecting.Come on, pick up. God, help me, God. Help. Please. Please. Please.She picks up on the third ring."Sweetie?" she asks, a little hesitant. Maybe she's questioning her own eyes. She doesn't believe I am calling her now. This is my fault. I did this to her. I stopped calling her months ago.God."Mama," I answer, as loud as I can. But, with the abused throat and the dehydration, I sound like a scratch on a sandpaper.Hearing this, her alarms picks up. "Sweetie, what's happening? Are you okay?" Panic colors her voice."No, Ma," I croak again."Oh my
And suddenly out of nowhere Nate is everywhere.The internet is blowing with the news of this up and coming artist who will certainly make you lost your mind with his voice and his charm. They talked about his looks. His hypnotizing blue eyes, his lean but now muscular body. They talked about the aura he's giving out. They talked about his first single which successfully placed Nate on the chart, on people's attention. The other star starts to notice him too. They talked about that "mini tour" he did. They talked about his soon to be out first album. They talked about a real big all around the States tour after that. They talked about everything Nathaniel Moore. And they talked about all of his sexcapades. It seems like the rising star has already spread his wings in the women section. Then I see it. A photo of Nate kissing a woman in front of a building, a hotel to be exact. Bile rising in my throat. I'm gonna be sick. I run to the bathroom in my office and heaving to the toilet
NowShe darts through the apartment and be in my room in a speed of light. "Tell me you listened to me," she demands as soon as she's here.I am leaning back against the head of the bed with pillows supporting my back and going through social media like nothing happened. I mean, nothing had happened if I consider what I did as nothing. Right?"Bry!" She snatches my phone away. "Hey!" I exclaim, sitting up. "I know you're upset but can you please not take it out on my phone?""Tell me you didn't do anything stupid," she insists. Her beautiful eyes penetrates me, searching for the truth from deep inside of me. She, like hundreds of times before, sees everything. "You did, didn't you?"Gotcha. But I keep my eyes on hers. "Why, Bry? Why? He's a jerk! You've been good these past months. You're better. You're happy again. Why?" I shrug. She's still waiting for my answer. She gets none of it. "That's it?" she gawks at my response. "I'm worrying myself sick about you and you just shrug
Fuck. I'm pregnant. The last nine pregnancy tests on the sink said I am. The last one, the tenth out of ten I hurriedly bought this morning, now I'm holding in my trembling hand says the same.I'm fucking pregnant. How? Shit. I didn't just ask that. I know the how. I know the why. I know for sure the who. I just ... can't wrap my mind around it. Fuck. Shit.I touch my still flat stomach with shaking hands. I am pregnant. I have a baby in me. A baby is growing in my belly. What the fuck should I do? I really have to stop cussing. It's not good for the baby, is it? Fu—God! I'm having a baby? My feet feels weak. I totally should sit on this. Where do I sit? Here, on the bathroom floor? Oh, okay. I can't be thinking about all the germs in time like this. I really, really, really need to sit before my legs give out. Please, don't. I can't add falling into the things that will giving bad impact for the baby. Me freaking out right now is enough stress. I think. Right? RIGHT? O
"Fuck, this is hard. Why is this so hard?" "Well, good morning to you too." I follow her into my apartment. It's only nine in Saturday morning. I should be sleeping, soundly, on my bed. Instead I'm waking up to this woman's hectic call telling me that she wants me to open the apartment door for her myself. She still have her key though. You need to know that. Get why I'm a tiny bit pissed at my best friend? My best friend who is all curled up on the couch now. And still whining. "Why, why, why?" I sit my sleepy butt on the coffee table. "What happened?" She whines some more. My brows slowly takes a hike to my forehead. Well, this is unusual. "Mo, what's going on?""There's nothing going on. Nothing happened," she chokes from behind her palms.Reaching out, I pull her hands with mine. Red rimming her wet eyes. Worry starts to color my face. "Then what is it?" She huffs, wipes her eyes, and sits up. Casting her gaze down on her lap, she explains, "I just got my period after a wee
"I think I'm done." I wake up from the stupor I was in and put the milkshake back onto the table at last. Then I clean my hands with the napkin. Dump the dirty paper on my plate. At the very last, I paste the fakest smile on my face and direct it to Mo. She knows. She knows what I'm honestly asking of her. Get me out of here. She slaps the same fake smile as quick. However it is a little slanted, making her look like she's battling constipation right now. My smile morphs into something a bit more real. Only her. I internally shake my head. But, I still need to get out of this hell, like five seconds ago."Linc, can we get these boxed? I'm sorry, but suddenly I have this urge to eat at home where I can stretch my legs and watch some bad TV with my best friend. You know, enjoying the good life."What the heck? What is she talking about? Only her. Indeed, only MY best friend. "Okay." Lincoln's voice pictures his bewilderment perfectly. I still don't have the nerve to look at him.