Work is work. Meetings had keeping me out of the office and to say I am beat was understatement. I am dead on my feet. I dive into the couch as soon as I’m home. Judging by the feel the apartement gives, Morwenna is still out. Which is happening more recently. Hm.
My phone suddenly rings on the coffee table alerting a FaceTime.“Hey, there, cuz.” Michael’s face fills the screen."Hi, you. Give me a sec.” I prop a cushion beneath my head.“You busy?”“Nope.” I pop the p. “Just got home from work.”“Okay, I won’t be long then. Just want to say happy birthday to my best cousin in the world,” he says. “And to remind you that there’ll be a package waiting for you this weekend.” Michael chuckles and winks.I roll my eyes. “You know I will hunt your ass down to wherever you are now if this package isn’t what I am hoping, right, Mike?” I try to pull my meanest face to threaten him. But, everyone knows there’ll be nothing that scare the Mighty Michael.“You’re funny,” he mocks.“That was my mean face, you jerk,” I quip back.Laughter filters through the speaker. “You don’t have one mean bone in your body, Bry. That one treat was all mine,” he retorts.I roll my eyes again. “Yeah, I know. What I don’t know is why are you so mean to me, your best cousin, when your job is fixing broken bodies around the world?” I reply mischievously.This is how we are. He’d be mean to me, intentionally, and I’d pouted when I was 5, or screamed at him when I was 9, or kicked his shin when I was 12, or ignored him when I was 15. When I am a 24 year old grown up woman? I give back as good as I got.“Gah, I miss you, Bry. I miss home. I think I’m gonna try to visit before my next assignment. Just don’t tell mom yet, I want to align my duck first.”I notice the bag under his eyes but make no comment about it. I know he is happy with his work, but it’s starting to take its toll on him. “That’s great, Mike. I really hope you can make it. You know we miss you too. The change of scenery will do you good, I’m sure.”“Yeah, yeah. I’m the doctor, remember? Say hi from me to Uncle Seb and Aunt Rose, yeah? And tell Ad to pick his goddamn phone the one time I call.”I snicker.“Okay. Love you, cuz. Happy birthday.”Waving my hand at the screen, I say, “Love you too. Bye.”And then the line is dead.Checking Mike off the list who had congratulated me on my birthday, I wonder where the hell is my brother?****Stewart’s still have some crowd when I come. It’s ten in the evening, the last meeting was taking more time than I thought, forcing me to skip lunch and dinner. And now I’m desperate for Stewart’s greasy goodness.Despite the tiredness seeping in my bones, I’m so ecstatic the project is nearly over.Tris waves and leads me to an available booth in the corner. “Whatcha need, sugar?” She pours a tall glass of water. “You want that weird thing you called coffee? You look like you need a pitcher of it.” She arches a brow.“Thanks, T. But, I want your magic greasy burger and fries. I’m super hungry. And, while you’re at it, can I get Tony’s super duper special chocolate milkshake too?” I puppy dog blink, blink, blink at her.She shakes her head. “You and your chocolate. And your food. And your body. Where the heck was all those go anyway? And to think the world’s fair,” Tris grumbles while writing my order.I laugh. “Because your food has magic here, T, am I right? And I’m sure if you look close enough you’ll find them hiding somewhere.”“Find what?”The question is said with such a growl that makes T rolls her eyes. I clench my teeth and force myself not to react to his sudden presence. Linc is walking, no, sauntering this way.I feel my anger simmering, down, low in my belly."Your girl here.” Tris points at me with her thumb.“Not his girl,” I grumble through my teeth.She don’t acknowledge my response and continues, “is ordering a ton of grease and sugar and I was just asking her where all those demons go. You know I have to struggle with the greens everyday if I want to keep my cholesterol on normal level.”Lincoln pays no mind to her explanation and ignore her. “What are you doing here?” he asks me, clearly annoyed.Tris shakes her head at his tone. “That’s not the way to talk to a lady, young man. I’ll watch my mouth if I were you.” And then off she go, leaving me alone with this giant of a man who somehow looks more annoyed than before.As if I'm not.“Why are you here this late, little Jackson?” he repeats, enunciating the nickname he gave me since I was teenager.I hate that name.I once liked that, but now I don't.Lincoln standing there by the table, his six foot something looming over. Like a wet blanket, he unsettles me. “I’m here to eat,” I reply curtly, or try to.He harrumphed, takes a seat across from me, crosses his arms, and then, silence. My anger is climbing up to the next level.What is he doing?It's extremely challenging to be civil right now. I close my eyes and exhale deeply. “Look, Linc," I say as I divert my attention to other things than him. "I don’t know what I’ve done to deserve this kind of treatment from you, but I just want to eat in peace.”He just grunts.Then, more silence.Eyeing the counter, I pray for Tris to bring my food soon so this awkwardness and oddity will end.But, just my luck. I didn’t expect him to sit there watching me while I ate, trying my best to enjoy my food.More anger.I ended up requesting a box to take the food home.I curse him internally. There goes my food orgasm.Tris comes with the box, helps me, and sends a warning glare at Lincoln’s way. He, of course, ignores her. “This is your bill, girl.” She hands me the receipt.Before I could reach it, Lincoln grabs the paper. He pulls a fifty out of his wallet and gives them back to Tris. “Come on. I’ll drive you home.”I stare at him, unbelieving of what’s just happened. He don’t give me a chance to process before he grabs my forearm and walks, his long legs and wide steps forcing me to trail behind him like a sad puppy.Did he just manhandle me?I don’t care about the fact that his grip doesn’t hurt. His touch is unsurprisingly soft and warm, but rude is rude.I cannot believe he manhandled me!You Neanderthal prick!I tear my arm away from his grip when we’re in the parking lot, ready to rip him a new one. Hurt or not, he didn’t get to do whatever he wanted, not with me.Not anymore.“What are the hell do you think you're doing?” I yell, finally releasing my boiling anger and confusion on this man.He have the audacity to exhale like I bother him. “I’m taking you home. You shouldn’t be Lyfting this late at night.”Oh, really? Fucking really? “So you just decided to manhadle me to your car. Yeah, right. What is wrong with you?”“Nothing’s wrong with helping your best friend’s little sister get back to her apartment safely.” He unlocks his car, opens the passenger door, and gestures for me to get in.The nerve of this giant asshole.I cross my arms across my chest, staring daggers at him, and stand my ground. He looks back at me as steady. We do this staring contest, neither want to be the bigger person and let go.He cocks his brow in the way that I ....That’s when I know I lose this childish battle.Fuck, Bry, don't. Do not go there.I finally huff like a bull and stomp my feet as I charge to the passenger door. I dodge away from his obstructing body. I will never ever let myself get close, let alone touch him, anymore. Once is enough, more than enough.Do I not know I just acted like a petulant child? I do.Does it look like I care? No, it doesn’t.Just as the door close, I look up and see his upper lip tugs at its side. Lincoln bites his bottom lip to restrain it from spreading even more.The sight stuns me.Was it a fucking smile I see?****It’s Saturday, after all, and I’m running on my favorite track at Central Park, my shoes hits the concrete in a steady thump, thump, thump, in sync with the beating of my heart. The sunrays is peeking through between the trees, another early birds are busy with their pick of activities. They're warming up, riding their bicycles, even those yoga enthusiasts are already making pretzel pose with their bodies.My smartwatch beeps, telling me I’ve done my five miles for today so I begin to slow my pace and head back towards my car. Fumbling with my earphone, I don’t see where I’m going and crash with something, or someone. It lands me on my ass and send my phone to its meeting with the path.“Ouch!” A small bad word escapes my lips through gritted teeth and I hope to heaven whoever near can’t hear it. Assuming from the pain on my right lady bum, I’ll leave this park with a bruise in the size of Texas. Great.“God, I’m sorry. You okay?”My brain needs a little more time to process those word
Landon was just asking Jamie if she wanted to go out with him when Mo comes barelling from the front door with few paper bags in her hands. I sit and hit pause. Shane West and Mandy Moore froze.“Guess who’s back from a shopping trip with her future mother in-law?” she exclaims. She drops those bags on the floor and plops down the other side of the couch. Dreamy sigh leaves her pink-tinted lips.I know with one thousand percent of certainty that this was not her first time doing shopping with Tom’s mother. But she always come home like this anyway; sated and happy.“How’s your day?” she asks. Looking at me, my state of dressing, and the stilled scene on the screen, she chastises, “Don’t tell me you’ve been vegging out on this couch all day.” An even scowl replaces her smiley face.I feign hurt, clasping my hands over my chest. “How cruel of you to think about me like that!”She rolls her eyes at my antic. A flower-printed cushion comes flying my way. I catch it before it make contact w
I stand in front of the tall mirror in my room. In a black halter top, dark-washed high-waisted skinny jeans, and my peep-toe black suede booties, face painted with natural look--because I don’t want to give a wrong vibe, I feel excited. I can’t remember when was the last time I dressed up for a date. Or hanging out with a guy, in this case. Whatever.I grab my cobalt suede fringe jacket before heading out. Closing the door, I find Mo and Tom curls up on the sofa watching a movie. “Someone’s ready to kill tonight,” Tom whistles.“You look good,” Mo says on approval. “I like this waves. And the outfits.” She eyes me from top to bottom and nods.“I like it too,” I replay, grinning. “I hope it’s not too much.”“Nah, girl, you’re perfect.” She untangles herself from Tom and stands to smooch my temple. “I feel like a proud momma sending her daughter to her first prom.” She fake wipes her eyes.Tom shakes his head at her antic. “Darling, let the girl be.” He pulls her down. “You’ll be fine,
Unsurprisingly, nothing can steady the butterflies in my belly and the heady feeling that kiss left me with until this morning. I have to admit that after getting on my bed, I couldn’t stop reliving that kiss over and over again, even my dream. Hence my good mood though I didn’t sleep that long.Or, that well. Wink! His kiss, oh my God, his kiss was soooo good I can still taste it on my lips. How Nate stirred my feelings with only his tongue. I cannot imagine what will happen to me if we ever go further than that. I will be doomed, of that I’m sure. But, it will be a good way to go, right? To die in the arms of your loved ones. To die in pleasure. To die in love. Ah, in love. I can’t wait to– “Bug, wake up! I brought your joe and cupcakes!” Yummy! There's coffee! And ... Wait, what? Isn’t that Adrian’s voice? He is in my apartment? Why is he in my apartment? What did he just say? Joe? Cupcakes? Wait, wait, wait. Cupcakes. Cupcakes! “Coming!” I shout from behind my bedroom doo
My confusion and anger comes to the surface again right after I finish one more cupcake and my caramel macchiato. Don’t laugh. It’s like my body knows what I need so it urged me to feed on some energy before prosecuting what my heart want. Probably twenty minutes behind Adrian’s departure, I put the remaining cupcakes in the fridge and head straight to shower. I have one mission and I want to get my hand on it as fast as I can. I cannot wait to tell Lincoln what’s on my mind. I cannot wait to tell him to shove his unneeded judgement to where the sun don’t shine. An hour later—God, I hate driving in this city—I charge into Stewart’s, having no care about the closed sign on the door. I know he is here. He must be. There’s no other place Lincoln will be but here.The brightly lit room welcomes me. But the broody butthole behind the bar? Not so much. Lincoln stares me down like he doesn’t have any idea what I am doing here. Well, maybe he doesn’t, but it is just because he didn’t kno
I drive home in a daze, my mind keeps replaying Lincoln’s sad eyes. And each time, the feeling in my stomach worsen. Now after everything was out, I begin to think that maybe I over-reacted. Maybe Lincoln was just looking out for me. Maybe he thought of me as his little sister he should protect. Maybe Adrian was right. Oh, God ....But, no! He doesn't deserve my guilt. After ... after that, he doesn't deserve anything from me.Damn it! Why do I have this conflicting feelings?I bang my head to the headrest, hoping the hurt will distract me from this gnawing feeling I feel within. I couldn’t find any satisfaction I thought I would feel. When everything is said and done, what was left is–A vibrating sound interrupts my train of thoughts. I glance at the lit up screen before turn left and lead my car to the assigned parking lot. I unlock my phone.Nate : wanna hangout tonight?Joy instantly kicks the worry out of my head and fulfills the space inside the car. My heart begins to race in
I wonder how many times a heart can break until it could not be repair again.I got my first hit today. It was when the only girl I ever loved told me I didn’t have any say in her business. She told me to stay away from her life. She told me to stay away from her. Believe me I tried. I really did. Beside, at that time, I didn’t want to have an intimate meeting with Adrian’s right hook. He has a mean one, even back then. But, this wasn’t a problem anymore. Nothing get past my best friend. He was—and still is—observant to a fault. I still remember the day when he outed me. I chuckles to the thought. Fuck, did I really think I could hide something this big from him? That night freshmen year in college, we were at a beach. Although we were new, we always got invited to any upperclassmen parties because of his and my dad’s names. Adrian was making the best out of it. Me? Nah. I was busy pining a certain brunette back at home. “The fuck, Bro?” drawls Adrian. He is pissed drunk. “Yeah,
“And then he was grabing my hair. And ... and ... he cupped my face. He kissed my jaw, my ear, my neck. I lose my grip in reality because of his touch. Oh ... my ... God.” I suddenly sit up. “We kissed in the middle of Gonner's crowded dance floor. I can’t believe I did that!"My Korean face mask plops down on my lap like a used wet tissue because of my sudden movement. I pick it up and resume my position beside Mo, mindlessly putting the mask back on my face again. It’s okay, five minutes rule apply to face mask too.I continue my story. “But that kiss, that kiss, Mo ... hands down. It was the. Best. Kiss. I’ve. Ever. Had. In. My. Life! It’s like he took some classes for mastering the artrt of kissing somewhere. Or maybe he was just had a lot, I mean, practice. But, I don’t care. I was the one he was kissing last night. I hope I will be the one in the future too,” I describe everything that happened last night until I am out of breath and out off my mind thinking about Nate’s lips on
What's happening to me?It is not until I hear the familiar voice of Nurse what's-her-name that my hard-beating heart slows down.Holy moly, Batman. I'm a mess."Oh, hey. You must be the baby daddy. Glad to see you," she greets with her cheery voice.Before I can turn on my back and swat that statements away to hell, Linc chimes in, "Hi. Nice to meet you. I'm Lincoln."What in the actual hell? I sit up too fast and get myself a whiplash.Shit."Whoa, whoa, slow down, honey." The nurse suddenly stood beside me and holds me on the forearm. "Didn't think you'll be so excited to see me," she jests, trying to make it light.The giant prick snickers.I try to send a glare at him discreetly but fail miserably when Nurse—I glance at her tag—Laura eyes us back and forth. "Everything alright, honey?" she asks as she checks up on my vital."Yeah," I croak, "everything is fine.""I guess so." She writes something on the paper she brought with her. "And, please, lay low for a while, yeah? No inten
What the hell is he doing here? Who do he think he is showing up in my room after ALL that he did? And, yeah, I really mean ALL OF IT.The nerve of this freaking prick."Sweetheart, is everything okay?"Dad's voice break through the fog of disdain that coated my brain, but, still, it takes a while for the question to truly register. I shift my eyes from the big, uninvited, and unwelcomed guy that now standing near my bed to my parents.And, it's not a surprise to see confusion painting their faces. Because of course they didn't know. And I don't want them to ever know about what had happened between me and the guy who they think of as their own son beside Adrian.Don't ask. I personally don't know why I'm still trying to keep this as a secret from them. Either I want to keep my name, or ....Don't. Don't go there.I shouldn't think like that way. I shouldn't think about it anymore.This is all his fault.But I can do nothing about it in front of mom and dad. "Yeah, yeah, Daddy. Everyth
What the fuck did he just say?What. The. Fuck?"What the fuck, Linc? You're not listening?" protests Adrian.Yep, you see that right. The very best friend who had ghosted me for this past months is now drinking my liquor like it's fresh water and he's been stranded on the Sahara.I should have known when I saw his ass walking in from the door that he wasn't bearing any good news. I should have known when I saw him and he just waved his hand asking for a drink. I should have known.When the most stubborn prick on the planet shows up at your bar after punching your mug ugly, giving you silent treatment for months, you know something is wrong.And it really is. Terribly, fucking devastatingly wrong."Slow down, man. You want to knock yourself out or something?" I warn, reaching for the bottle he is gripping so hard like a lifeline.He swats my palm. Hard. Fuck, that hurts."Yeah, yeah. I wanna do that so baaad," he slurs. He then chuckles. "You realize how funny it was? I'm trying to kno
I can't. I can't do this anymore.My body is so weak. There's nothing left to be released from my belly, but my throat don't get the memo and keeps on constricting. Dry heaving is sooo draining.With shaky legs, with the last strength I have in me, I drag my body out of the bathroom and reach for my phone on the bedside table.I can't do this alone.I can't if I want my baby safe.I can't if I want to safe me too.The call is still connecting.Come on, pick up. God, help me, God. Help. Please. Please. Please.She picks up on the third ring."Sweetie?" she asks, a little hesitant. Maybe she's questioning her own eyes. She doesn't believe I am calling her now. This is my fault. I did this to her. I stopped calling her months ago.God."Mama," I answer, as loud as I can. But, with the abused throat and the dehydration, I sound like a scratch on a sandpaper.Hearing this, her alarms picks up. "Sweetie, what's happening? Are you okay?" Panic colors her voice."No, Ma," I croak again."Oh my
And suddenly out of nowhere Nate is everywhere.The internet is blowing with the news of this up and coming artist who will certainly make you lost your mind with his voice and his charm. They talked about his looks. His hypnotizing blue eyes, his lean but now muscular body. They talked about the aura he's giving out. They talked about his first single which successfully placed Nate on the chart, on people's attention. The other star starts to notice him too. They talked about that "mini tour" he did. They talked about his soon to be out first album. They talked about a real big all around the States tour after that. They talked about everything Nathaniel Moore. And they talked about all of his sexcapades. It seems like the rising star has already spread his wings in the women section. Then I see it. A photo of Nate kissing a woman in front of a building, a hotel to be exact. Bile rising in my throat. I'm gonna be sick. I run to the bathroom in my office and heaving to the toilet
NowShe darts through the apartment and be in my room in a speed of light. "Tell me you listened to me," she demands as soon as she's here.I am leaning back against the head of the bed with pillows supporting my back and going through social media like nothing happened. I mean, nothing had happened if I consider what I did as nothing. Right?"Bry!" She snatches my phone away. "Hey!" I exclaim, sitting up. "I know you're upset but can you please not take it out on my phone?""Tell me you didn't do anything stupid," she insists. Her beautiful eyes penetrates me, searching for the truth from deep inside of me. She, like hundreds of times before, sees everything. "You did, didn't you?"Gotcha. But I keep my eyes on hers. "Why, Bry? Why? He's a jerk! You've been good these past months. You're better. You're happy again. Why?" I shrug. She's still waiting for my answer. She gets none of it. "That's it?" she gawks at my response. "I'm worrying myself sick about you and you just shrug
Fuck. I'm pregnant. The last nine pregnancy tests on the sink said I am. The last one, the tenth out of ten I hurriedly bought this morning, now I'm holding in my trembling hand says the same.I'm fucking pregnant. How? Shit. I didn't just ask that. I know the how. I know the why. I know for sure the who. I just ... can't wrap my mind around it. Fuck. Shit.I touch my still flat stomach with shaking hands. I am pregnant. I have a baby in me. A baby is growing in my belly. What the fuck should I do? I really have to stop cussing. It's not good for the baby, is it? Fu—God! I'm having a baby? My feet feels weak. I totally should sit on this. Where do I sit? Here, on the bathroom floor? Oh, okay. I can't be thinking about all the germs in time like this. I really, really, really need to sit before my legs give out. Please, don't. I can't add falling into the things that will giving bad impact for the baby. Me freaking out right now is enough stress. I think. Right? RIGHT? O
"Fuck, this is hard. Why is this so hard?" "Well, good morning to you too." I follow her into my apartment. It's only nine in Saturday morning. I should be sleeping, soundly, on my bed. Instead I'm waking up to this woman's hectic call telling me that she wants me to open the apartment door for her myself. She still have her key though. You need to know that. Get why I'm a tiny bit pissed at my best friend? My best friend who is all curled up on the couch now. And still whining. "Why, why, why?" I sit my sleepy butt on the coffee table. "What happened?" She whines some more. My brows slowly takes a hike to my forehead. Well, this is unusual. "Mo, what's going on?""There's nothing going on. Nothing happened," she chokes from behind her palms.Reaching out, I pull her hands with mine. Red rimming her wet eyes. Worry starts to color my face. "Then what is it?" She huffs, wipes her eyes, and sits up. Casting her gaze down on her lap, she explains, "I just got my period after a wee
"I think I'm done." I wake up from the stupor I was in and put the milkshake back onto the table at last. Then I clean my hands with the napkin. Dump the dirty paper on my plate. At the very last, I paste the fakest smile on my face and direct it to Mo. She knows. She knows what I'm honestly asking of her. Get me out of here. She slaps the same fake smile as quick. However it is a little slanted, making her look like she's battling constipation right now. My smile morphs into something a bit more real. Only her. I internally shake my head. But, I still need to get out of this hell, like five seconds ago."Linc, can we get these boxed? I'm sorry, but suddenly I have this urge to eat at home where I can stretch my legs and watch some bad TV with my best friend. You know, enjoying the good life."What the heck? What is she talking about? Only her. Indeed, only MY best friend. "Okay." Lincoln's voice pictures his bewilderment perfectly. I still don't have the nerve to look at him.