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22. Bryanna
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2024-10-29 19:42:56Related chapters
Always 23. Bryanna
What do I have to tell my brother? It seems unlikely to confess to Adrian that I forgot our family tradition because of a man. A special one to me, but still … a man. “Ng … I …,” I stutter, “I … I had … something that day,” I stupidly and weakly lie to him.Silence.He knows I’m lying. Of course he knows.“I … I … I forgot.”Another few beats of silence.Another exhale. Shit. He probably has an idea of what—or who—was the thing I had that day. No, he absolutely knows. What the heck am I gonna do? Anxiety courses through my vein. What will he do? Adrian exhales one more time. Maybe he’s trying to calm himself. “Fine,” he says at last. “I’ll be back in the city on Friday. You’d better be home on Sunday, you hear me?” He uses his big brother voice, commanding and terrifying as fuck. It’s making me more nervous. He rarely used it. I quickly promise, “I will.”“Call mom anytime soon. You didn’t hear the sadness in her voice, Bug.”Adrian’s weakness is the women in his life, his family.
Always 24. Bryanna
I’m surprised by the buzz on my hand.Yeah, good girlfriends don’t cling to their boyfriends, they clings to their phones. How about that? My heart deflates after seeing Adrian’s name on the screen for the millionth time since Thursday. He called, he texted, constantly, just to remind me of our family Sunday dinner that I missed once. Once! For God’s sake, just once!Ugh! This is NOT the perks of having a perfectionist and bordering control freak sibling. And this is sooo freaking exasperating. I’m not stupid. And I am not planning on repeating my mistake again. He just have to trust me, that asshole brother of mine.Adrian : *I’m on my way home. You need a ride?* Do I want to sacrifice myself and jump into a pool full of hungry man eating piranhas? Was my first time sex experience satisfying? Am I gonna trap myself in a car with him? The answer to all those questions is no, no and hard freaking NO! Screw him. I don’t want to ride with him right now. Bryanna : *Nope.*Adrian : *O
Always 25. Bryanna
I try to hold the tremble in my voice. “Mama—” “Yeah, OUR mother is so fucking devastated her baby girl couldn’t keep her fucking promise, again. And make that double because so is dad now,” he cuts my words, and my feeling. I bite my trembling lips.“And for what, huh?” Adrian continues. “For some popstar wanna be who left after he got what he wanted?”Ouch. That stings, because everything is, right now. “Wh-what are y-you talking a-about?” In the middle of this … devastation, I still have to protect my boyfriend’s virtue in front of him. Or, at least, trying to. He chuckles bitterly. “Don’t play dumb, Bryanna. I have my suspicion. And what I just saw confirmed it.” I can’t help but feeling a little hurt when he keeps calling me with my name. I feel like I no longer his bugging little sister he loved so much. Ad takes a step closer to me and leans down. “I saw he left the building, Bryanna. He was lucky we didn’t cross path or I will fucking strangle that piece of shit!” He sp
Always 26. Lincoln
"Well, look what the cat had dragged in," I say to my best friend as he plops down his body on the stool across from me. "Something wet and smell." Raising my brows, I add, "Like a bad lay."Adrian just huffs and finger combs his hair. Okay, then. I turn to grab a top shelf brand of liquor and pour him a glass. Usually, all he need to wind down or wash the "taste" after not so stellar rolling in the sack was whiskey neat.He lets out another huff and tugs at the end of his hair. My brows are raising even higher. They're almost on the line of my hair now. Is he seriously ignoring the drink? Well .... "I fucked up." This wasn't what I was expecting. My best friend huffs again. Okay, this seems pretty bad. Leaning down, I put my arms on the table, fingers intertwines with each other. I look at him—really look—for the first time since he arrived. The blue t-shirt, black leather jacket, denim jeans he wears is impeccable as ever. No suit, because today is Sunday. And Sunday means f
Always 27. Bryanna
I spent the night tossing and turning. All of the negative emotions kept my eyes wide open. Sadness, anger, hurt, and guilt. So much guilt. Then, with the over bearing guilt came shame. I am ashamed of what I did to mom. I am ashamed of what I said to Adrian.I slept like shit. It's no rocket science to figure out my mood is wrecked in the morning.Fuck, I don't want to come to work like this.Actually, I don't want to do anything today. I want to .... I text Remi to inform her I won't be coming in to the office and ask her to forward any important emails to my personal account. I also text another person but he didn't reply. Maybe he's busy at the studio already. Okay, then. Surprise visit it is. So, on the hunt of some distraction, in the search of a good way to forget, I head to the only place I could get it. After putting on a plausible amount of make up to hide the shame and its tracks—as known as the purple bag under my eyes, I walk out of my apartment a little after twelve.
Always 28. Lincoln
I wake up, and suddenly someone begins to play drum in my ears. My head is pounding. My face is sore. My body feels like I've been hitted by a Mack truck.What the hell? I try to open my eyes but it's a real hard job to do. From the slightly opened eyes, I see my surrounding. This is when I realize I'm on the hard floor of Adrian's condo. What the heck? Then, bits and pieces of last night are coming back to me.Fuck. Fuck. FUCK. Do not want to upset my already queasy stomach, I sit up slowly. Shit. I shouldn't drink. The damn hangover makes everything even worse. I vow to never touch a drink ever again.Yeah, right, my inner self rolls his eyes at the total bullshit I just spouted. Even more sluggishly, I pad to the guest bathroom. Thank God Adrian didn't change anything in the mean time since last night. Or, I won't find the Tylenol at the usual place in the cabinet under the sink.I wash three of them down my throat with a glass of water from the tap. The mirror in front of me s
Always 29. Lincoln
I've been sitting on my ass for the past hour in front of Bry's apartemen door before the elevator opens and out she walks. So gracefully. So enchanting. So beautiful.My girl. The love of my life. The only girl I give my heart to.Damn, she's a sight to sore eyes. With only denim short shorts, t-shirt, and sneakers, she could turn all the heads her way. She easily holds my eyes for these past years.And, honestly, it's not always about the look, the body, or the money with her. She got this ... aura that drawn people closer. I like to chalk it out on her inner beauty.Yeah, my girl is a rare gem in this fucked up world and I even more fucked up to let her slipped through my fingers.And for the first time since I saw her, I realize she wasn't wearing her power suit; the outfit she wore to the office. Why is she not wearing them? Didn't she go to the office today? If not, what did she do?Then another thing clicked.It's Sunday, you idiot.The blinding smile that was on her face when s
Always 30. Bryanna
"What the fuck do you mean?" I ask him. The nagging feeling at the back of my head tells me I maybe have an idea of what he meant, but my heart refuses to acknowledge it. No, he can't be talking about that ....That ....He can't.No, no, no. Not now, not ever.No! He can't be talking about that ... night.My heart constricts. Fuck. Yes, I adored him once, when I was a young, naive teenager.There, I said it. I adored him when all I saw was the nerdy and kind guy, who silently stole my heart with his dark glances, secret smiles, and attentions he gave me behind my brother's back. I adored him enough to make him the one I lost my virginity to. I adored him enough to give him a thing so precious on the night of my eighteenth birthday.That night, he whispered me sweet nothings, he promised me anything.And, yes, he then left me, diappeared into the thin night air, never to be heard, or seen again. He left me alone, used, with a bleeding sheet and—not so surprisingly—a bleeding heart.
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Always 48. Bryanna
What's happening to me?It is not until I hear the familiar voice of Nurse what's-her-name that my hard-beating heart slows down.Holy moly, Batman. I'm a mess."Oh, hey. You must be the baby daddy. Glad to see you," she greets with her cheery voice.Before I can turn on my back and swat that statements away to hell, Linc chimes in, "Hi. Nice to meet you. I'm Lincoln."What in the actual hell? I sit up too fast and get myself a whiplash.Shit."Whoa, whoa, slow down, honey." The nurse suddenly stood beside me and holds me on the forearm. "Didn't think you'll be so excited to see me," she jests, trying to make it light.The giant prick snickers.I try to send a glare at him discreetly but fail miserably when Nurse—I glance at her tag—Laura eyes us back and forth. "Everything alright, honey?" she asks as she checks up on my vital."Yeah," I croak, "everything is fine.""I guess so." She writes something on the paper she brought with her. "And, please, lay low for a while, yeah? No inten
Always 47. Bryanna
What the hell is he doing here? Who do he think he is showing up in my room after ALL that he did? And, yeah, I really mean ALL OF IT.The nerve of this freaking prick."Sweetheart, is everything okay?"Dad's voice break through the fog of disdain that coated my brain, but, still, it takes a while for the question to truly register. I shift my eyes from the big, uninvited, and unwelcomed guy that now standing near my bed to my parents.And, it's not a surprise to see confusion painting their faces. Because of course they didn't know. And I don't want them to ever know about what had happened between me and the guy who they think of as their own son beside Adrian.Don't ask. I personally don't know why I'm still trying to keep this as a secret from them. Either I want to keep my name, or ....Don't. Don't go there.I shouldn't think like that way. I shouldn't think about it anymore.This is all his fault.But I can do nothing about it in front of mom and dad. "Yeah, yeah, Daddy. Everyth
Always 46. Lincoln
What the fuck did he just say?What. The. Fuck?"What the fuck, Linc? You're not listening?" protests Adrian.Yep, you see that right. The very best friend who had ghosted me for this past months is now drinking my liquor like it's fresh water and he's been stranded on the Sahara.I should have known when I saw his ass walking in from the door that he wasn't bearing any good news. I should have known when I saw him and he just waved his hand asking for a drink. I should have known.When the most stubborn prick on the planet shows up at your bar after punching your mug ugly, giving you silent treatment for months, you know something is wrong.And it really is. Terribly, fucking devastatingly wrong."Slow down, man. You want to knock yourself out or something?" I warn, reaching for the bottle he is gripping so hard like a lifeline.He swats my palm. Hard. Fuck, that hurts."Yeah, yeah. I wanna do that so baaad," he slurs. He then chuckles. "You realize how funny it was? I'm trying to kno
Always 45. Bryanna
I can't. I can't do this anymore.My body is so weak. There's nothing left to be released from my belly, but my throat don't get the memo and keeps on constricting. Dry heaving is sooo draining.With shaky legs, with the last strength I have in me, I drag my body out of the bathroom and reach for my phone on the bedside table.I can't do this alone.I can't if I want my baby safe.I can't if I want to safe me too.The call is still connecting.Come on, pick up. God, help me, God. Help. Please. Please. Please.She picks up on the third ring."Sweetie?" she asks, a little hesitant. Maybe she's questioning her own eyes. She doesn't believe I am calling her now. This is my fault. I did this to her. I stopped calling her months ago.God."Mama," I answer, as loud as I can. But, with the abused throat and the dehydration, I sound like a scratch on a sandpaper.Hearing this, her alarms picks up. "Sweetie, what's happening? Are you okay?" Panic colors her voice."No, Ma," I croak again."Oh my
Always 44. Bryanna
And suddenly out of nowhere Nate is everywhere.The internet is blowing with the news of this up and coming artist who will certainly make you lost your mind with his voice and his charm. They talked about his looks. His hypnotizing blue eyes, his lean but now muscular body. They talked about the aura he's giving out. They talked about his first single which successfully placed Nate on the chart, on people's attention. The other star starts to notice him too. They talked about that "mini tour" he did. They talked about his soon to be out first album. They talked about a real big all around the States tour after that. They talked about everything Nathaniel Moore. And they talked about all of his sexcapades. It seems like the rising star has already spread his wings in the women section. Then I see it. A photo of Nate kissing a woman in front of a building, a hotel to be exact. Bile rising in my throat. I'm gonna be sick. I run to the bathroom in my office and heaving to the toilet
Always 43. Bryanna
NowShe darts through the apartment and be in my room in a speed of light. "Tell me you listened to me," she demands as soon as she's here.I am leaning back against the head of the bed with pillows supporting my back and going through social media like nothing happened. I mean, nothing had happened if I consider what I did as nothing. Right?"Bry!" She snatches my phone away. "Hey!" I exclaim, sitting up. "I know you're upset but can you please not take it out on my phone?""Tell me you didn't do anything stupid," she insists. Her beautiful eyes penetrates me, searching for the truth from deep inside of me. She, like hundreds of times before, sees everything. "You did, didn't you?"Gotcha. But I keep my eyes on hers. "Why, Bry? Why? He's a jerk! You've been good these past months. You're better. You're happy again. Why?" I shrug. She's still waiting for my answer. She gets none of it. "That's it?" she gawks at my response. "I'm worrying myself sick about you and you just shrug
Always 42. Bryanna
Fuck. I'm pregnant. The last nine pregnancy tests on the sink said I am. The last one, the tenth out of ten I hurriedly bought this morning, now I'm holding in my trembling hand says the same.I'm fucking pregnant. How? Shit. I didn't just ask that. I know the how. I know the why. I know for sure the who. I just ... can't wrap my mind around it. Fuck. Shit.I touch my still flat stomach with shaking hands. I am pregnant. I have a baby in me. A baby is growing in my belly. What the fuck should I do? I really have to stop cussing. It's not good for the baby, is it? Fu—God! I'm having a baby? My feet feels weak. I totally should sit on this. Where do I sit? Here, on the bathroom floor? Oh, okay. I can't be thinking about all the germs in time like this. I really, really, really need to sit before my legs give out. Please, don't. I can't add falling into the things that will giving bad impact for the baby. Me freaking out right now is enough stress. I think. Right? RIGHT? O
Always 41. Bryanna
"Fuck, this is hard. Why is this so hard?" "Well, good morning to you too." I follow her into my apartment. It's only nine in Saturday morning. I should be sleeping, soundly, on my bed. Instead I'm waking up to this woman's hectic call telling me that she wants me to open the apartment door for her myself. She still have her key though. You need to know that. Get why I'm a tiny bit pissed at my best friend? My best friend who is all curled up on the couch now. And still whining. "Why, why, why?" I sit my sleepy butt on the coffee table. "What happened?" She whines some more. My brows slowly takes a hike to my forehead. Well, this is unusual. "Mo, what's going on?""There's nothing going on. Nothing happened," she chokes from behind her palms.Reaching out, I pull her hands with mine. Red rimming her wet eyes. Worry starts to color my face. "Then what is it?" She huffs, wipes her eyes, and sits up. Casting her gaze down on her lap, she explains, "I just got my period after a wee
Always 40. Bryanna
"I think I'm done." I wake up from the stupor I was in and put the milkshake back onto the table at last. Then I clean my hands with the napkin. Dump the dirty paper on my plate. At the very last, I paste the fakest smile on my face and direct it to Mo. She knows. She knows what I'm honestly asking of her. Get me out of here. She slaps the same fake smile as quick. However it is a little slanted, making her look like she's battling constipation right now. My smile morphs into something a bit more real. Only her. I internally shake my head. But, I still need to get out of this hell, like five seconds ago."Linc, can we get these boxed? I'm sorry, but suddenly I have this urge to eat at home where I can stretch my legs and watch some bad TV with my best friend. You know, enjoying the good life."What the heck? What is she talking about? Only her. Indeed, only MY best friend. "Okay." Lincoln's voice pictures his bewilderment perfectly. I still don't have the nerve to look at him.
